justfeels - Tumblr blog

[justfeels]

Do you even KNOW just how IN LOVE WE COULD BE? Fuckin idiot

[justfeels]

― Salma Deera, Letters From Medea

[text ID: The centre of every poem is this: / I have loved you. / I have had to deal with that.]

[justfeels]

Michael Cunningham, "The Hours" // Anne Sexton, "The Touch" // Charles M. Schulz, Peanuts and Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me—The Smiths // F. Scott Fitzgerald, Tender Is the Night // Kelsey Landsgaard, A Soft Wrongness // J. D. McClatchy, "THE DIALOGUE OF DESIRE AND GUILT" // Marina Tsvetaeva, from notes // Yves Olade, Belovéd

[justfeels]

Sorry about the blood in your mouth. I wish it was mine.

@dog-teeth/nobody - mitski/@ lilrainpoety on instagram/little weirds - jenny slate/@blossomfully/@chaandajaan/strawberry blond - mitski/wishbone - richard siken/salt - salma deera/unable to find a source/mia hollow/the unabridged journals of sylvia plath/nobody - mitski/crush - richard siken

[justfeels]

reading the Locked Tomb series again because i want to feel something and I noticed something that made me think about the whole Palamedes-Camilla-Dulcie situation. specifically, about their relationships with each other.

in the Unwanted Guest, Palamedes has this conversation with a disembodied voice that we soon learn to be Dulcie. he asks her: “That merely by loving you, I added to your torments?” to this, Dulcie responds that: “yes, and also my agonies.”

as heartbreaking as that is, it contrasts a different conversation between Camilla and Palamedes in Nona the Ninth: “Simply by being in your life, I have added indelibly to its weight?” “Yes.”

i am NOT emotionally stable enough to analyze what this means. but just knowing this — i am hurting. i am in pain. and tamsyn muir definitely knew what she was doing when she wrote this.

sometimes, i think that this series has done me enough harm. but it goes out of its way to show that yes! it can hurt me more!

[justfeels]

[justfeels]

Yeah I love manipulating my friends for my own gain, the gain is called "hanging out", obtained via such cruel tactics as "showing interest in stuff they like" and "being generally complimentary and charming"

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hadrowhark nonagesimus lobotomizing herself

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please stop living so far away i want to cook your favourite dinner for you

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this sucks so bad i need to [remembers suicide jokes only worsen my mental health] put on the best talent show this towns ever seen

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He was the light. I once got very close and got burned. I think he was burning too. I'd forgotten there's no light without a fire. They never expect an angel to be broken.

—𝓜𝓼. 𝓜𝓲𝓼𝓪𝓷𝓽𝓱𝓻𝓸𝓹𝓮

[justfeels]

THE WORLD IS ENDING by judas h.

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And I whisper to myself, I am safer alone.

Wasted, Marya Hornbacher / . / . / . / painting by Mladen Ilic / Paul Auster / Letters To Milena, Franz Kafka / Wide Sargasso Sea, Jean Rhys / The Departure Of The Train, Clarice Lispector / Beau Taplin

[justfeels]

been thinking a lot about anticipatory grief lately. i love you so much that i know losing you will devastate me. i haven't lost you yet but i already miss you. we still have time, but it won't be enough. i think about what i would say at your funeral, and say some of it to you now cause i need you to know how loved you are before you go. you will go where i cannot follow, but you will never really leave me. it won't make it hurt less but it is a part of healing somehow.

[justfeels]

“you’re my best friend, now i’ve got no one to tell i’ve lost my best friend.”

….

[justfeels]

You’re allowed to miss someone even if you know it’s better for you to cut them out of your life. These feelings can exist together.