justalonelybunnyonahill - Tumblr blog

[justalonelybunnyonahill]

.....not in my fic right? NOT IN MY FIC RIGHT???

You suddenly switch bodies with your icon. On a scale of 1 to 10, (10 being the highest value) how well are you coping with that change?

[justalonelybunnyonahill]

Chapter 12: One Becomes Three, Then Four

A soft voice hums a few notes.

-

The new chapter is out! We have Sabito and Makomo time!!! And Final Selection is drawing ever closer!

The title of the chapter is from the focus of the chapter! I kind of thought about naming it Urokodaki's Foxes, but that will most likely be the title of the next chapter. Instead, this symbolizes the way that Urokodaki's students have all be impacting each other/interacting. First, it was Tanjiro alone. Then he met Sabito and Makomo and one became three, all of them slowly starting to get acquainted with each other as time moves on. Then at the end, Giyu finally comes back to the place he has been avoiding for years, making the number of students go from three to four. With Urokodaki's duty to his students and each of their individual fates being such an important part of his character, I thought that it would be best to focus on all of their interactions with each other as the situation is developed further. Tanjiro, Sabito, Makomo, Urokodaki, and Giyu all play important roles in this sad relationship of mentor and student, something I believe is vastly undervalued and missed when reading the manga/watching the anime.

It plays a big part in the theme of grief that I want to tackle with this (as well as the journey of healing from it) that I need two chapters to cover their interactions properly.

[justalonelybunnyonahill]

1,000 KUDOS!!!

I'm so happy for everyone's support as "Just a Lonely Bunny on a Hill" has reached 1,000 kudos on AO3! In honor of that, I've been wondering what kind of special thing I should do for the occasion.

The first thing that came to my mind was a reveal of one of the arcs for the fic, but I wanted to use those reveals to add more hype instead, releasing the title of an arc right as one ends and another begins. Revealing them too far ahead of time would be spoilers at this point in the fic, which I definitely do not want to do with all the amazing (in my opinion) things I have planned for the fic!

I already plan to do interludes for MANY of the characters, so that isn't really an option either.

I thought instead, maybe I should discuss things I plan on tackling and that readers should look forward to, but I don't know if that would be something specifically to do for this occasion.

I haven't really settled on a singular idea yet, but I'll announce it when I do. If anyone has suggestions, I'll be happy to hear them out! Thank you all for your continued support!

(Also, the next chapter is almost done, I just have to finish editing it! Thank you for your patience!!)

[justalonelybunnyonahill]

Arc List

Here is the planned arcs for Just a Lonely Bunny on a Hill! They will be slowly revealed as time goes on, so keep your eyes peeled for updates!

Unwavering Resolve Arc

1.1 The Loss of a Star arc 1.2 Final Selection arc 1.3 Kidnapper's Bog arc 1.4 Asakusa arc 1.5 Tzusumi Mansion arc 1.6 The Start of a Friendship arc 1.61 The Enforcer arc 1.62 Lesser's Disguise arc 1.63 A Forgotten Village arc 1.7 Mount Natagumo arc 1.8 Rehabilitation arc

2. Homura and Hinokami Arc

2.1 ??? 2.2 ??? 2.3 ??? 2.4 ??? 2.5 ??? 2.6 ???

3. Entertainment District Arc

4. Swordsmith Village Arc

5. ???

6. ???

7. ???

8. ???

9. ???

9.1 ??? 9.2 ???

10. ???

11. ???

11.1 ??? 11.2 ???

12. ???

13. ???

[justalonelybunnyonahill]

He needs it so much.

tanjiro is feeling down

[justalonelybunnyonahill]

Paces of Chapters 9 & 11

The paces of these two chapters is supposed to feel a bit different from the others. Both of them cover six months worth of time each, but it is handled in slightly different ways.

Chapter 9: Grief's Six Month March

In this chapter, time is supposed to feel like it's speeding up, but in a linear direction. When the nightmares are first mentioned, the scenes are longer to discuss the nature of the situation. The realization that Tanjiro has that he must get better by facing his guilt is before things speed up. These scenes happen during "normal time", kind of outlining what his journey will be like over the next couple of months. It also stands as a time comparison for the ending of the chapter, making you feel as if time has really changed by the difference between them.

As for the "sped-up time", the alternating sections of (roughly) medium length and short length sections are supposed to create this feeling. You are given something to think on before being moved on to something else and then onto another thing even quicker. The nightmares even get shorter, making you move through them even faster.

The passage of time fits how Tanjiro feels it. It's linear. It's a foot infront of the other. Getting up when your mind is still pained. It's day after day after day of that, and it all blurs together. It's also why the conversations that tie into the nightmares are not that detailed.

Chapter 11: To Be Good Enough

This chapter plays with time as well, but the feeling it is supposed to give off is more scattered than linear. It's covering the same amount of time, but Tanjiro isn't the same as he was in Chapter 9.

The introduction of the boulder has shaken him. It's a physical obstacle that he doesn't know how to overcome and it instantly "proved" all the doubts he had about himself and if he could actually do this. Day after day passes and he has no progress and it has his mind a MESS. Just imagine that this is what you believe to be the only option for your future. How are you supposed to come to terms with the fact that it looks like it won't work out when you've taken all the steps towards this direction?

It's why the chapter goes from one setting to another setting to back to the other setting. It's why the sections tend to favor medium or shorter length rather than a mix of different ones to make it flow. Tanjiro's mind is always going back and forth. He tries to act like nothing is bothering him by distracting himself with people, but those that are around him can tell that something is bothering him even if they might not have the means to know what.

It's also why I chose to leave some of the imperfections I saw (although it pained me) because it needed to feel how Tanjiro felt.

[justalonelybunnyonahill]

Chapter 10: To Be Good Enough

Tanjiro didn’t know how to convey it.

If he failed now, there was no other option. The demon slayer corps was always going to be his destination.

For what life could he possibly live? How normal could he be when he buried every part of himself with his bare hands?

(This is the road you were always doomed to take.)

-

I was really hesistant to include original characters in this fic, if only because of how original characters get a bad rep in fanfiction in general. I decided that if I did include original characters, it would have to be because they added some aspect to the story that could not be expanded upon otherwise. That's where I arrived when creating "Granny" and Hinata. Tanjiro desperately needed more pillars of support to not only push him forward but also to examine other aspects of his character that are not so clearly seen with his interactions with Urokodaki.

With Hinata, I knew that I wanted a child character that directly confronted Tanjiro's trauma and memories with his siblings while also calling into focus just how much of Tanjiro's person revolves around their care. Tanjiro's interactions with Hinata are both painful yet rewarding. And Hinata's past (that clearly mirrors Tanjiro's own in a way) also serves to point out how hypocritical Tanjiro can be. He so easily extends a helping hand and would never shame someone for needing it, but when it comes to himself he can't even fathom it. This relationship between the two was why Hinata was named the way he was, with the chosen kanji meaning "facing the sun", or otherwise known as a sunflower. With Hinata as a sunflower and Tanjiro the sun, they are inexplicably tied to one another. Hinata actively seeks out Tanjiro and his presence because of how nurturing and warm it is. Tanjiro gives him that affection because of the kind of person he is. (I have more planned for him, but that'll just have to wait.)

As for the character only referred to as "Granny", I purposefully did not give her an actual name. I brainstormed a couple of names for her, but I thought it would suit her better to not have one. It is supposed to acknowledge the stereotype of what a "Granny" should be, but also subvert it by showing that she is her own person. She takes care of Tanjiro and his injuries, pesters him the way family would, and seemingly hides behind the title. I meant for the reader to place their own image of "Granny" onto her, keeping her physical characteristics limited so that the title would stick more strongly than anything else. She is "Granny", only meant to be there to help be that figure to Tanjiro. Except she isn't JUST that figure to Tanjiro. She is her own person past that. She has had her own loses in life, has her own regrets with her late son, and has a stronger bite to her than you would think. She is a mirror of Urokodaki, a caretaker, but pushes more in a different way. While Urokodaki will focus on Tanjiro's physical health (making his own awkward attempts to soothe Tanjiro's emotional turmoil), Granny focuses on Tanjiro's mental health (making her own fruitless attempts to soothe Tanjiro's physical turmoil). She is very straightforward at times, not afraid to get directly to what she wants to say.

Of course the creation of their characters serves a bigger purpose but that will only be revealed after more time passes!

[justalonelybunnyonahill]

I feel like later on I will definitely get hunted down with pitchforks and torches but oh well!

And the scene you cried out is much later so like they're completely safe! (I cried my eyes out writing out the details so I can write it later so like that's totally a lie BUT its not like I also made you cry--ok nope thats a lie as well)

Like it's not like I had a "wheel of tragedy" that I spun as a joke for a certain something to happen to Tanjiro! He's gonna be fine!

*runs over*

MAKE TANJIRO SUFFER EVEN MORE THAN HE DOES RIGHT NOW AND MY LIFE IS YOURS

*scuttles away*

me, eyeing my drafts: that's the one thing you'll never have to worry about! there's plenty of suffering to go around!

I love anytime I get comments about how they cried or how bad it is for Tanjiro now and I have to hold back the evil cackling because it gets so much worse!

(It's actually so bad because I have so many moments planned out already and I just want to get to them but NO I have to build up to them!!!!)

(I literally get antsy because I have so many sad ideas that are just itching to be written)

[justalonelybunnyonahill]

I'm so glad our mutual reaction to both sides of this interaction was to freak out lmaoooo (I told my friends that I couldn't sit still because I was so happy that I was wiggling with energy)

My mind can't comprehend that you took time out of your day to draw something based off of my fic! I'm like really wait this just happened??? Really???? I can't stop looking at it.

The art of little Tanjiro being held up matches the exchange that we had in the comments of the fic so well! The scene is so cute and funny! Tanjiro with Nezuko's ribbon around his finger looks so sad and you can tell how lonely he is!!

Interacting with people who read my fic and enjoy the content just as much as I love writing it makes me insanely happy. It's a huge motivator and it really does make me wanna kick things into gear and hold myself to an upload schedule so that we can get this show on the road! I really am thankful that you did this.

asgxandcghdwcbhHEREiforgotoshwoyouythsi

IM SOBBING! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! THIS MADE MY DAY!!!!

the fact that you drew this and the fact that it's my fic omg omg omg and its so nice!!!!

It's so beautiful and I've just been staring in shock and awe.

The flash-bang smile! The cat carry! Saburo looking like his soul is about to leave his body! And then there's Tanjiro with Nezuko's ribbon!!!!!

Thank you so much @cream-buns-12!!! It's beautiful and I'm so glad you enjoyed my fic enough to draw not one but two things involving it!!!

[justalonelybunnyonahill]

asgxandcghdwcbhHEREiforgotoshwoyouythsi

IM SOBBING! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! THIS MADE MY DAY!!!!

the fact that you drew this and the fact that it's my fic omg omg omg and its so nice!!!!

It's so beautiful and I've just been staring in shock and awe.

The flash-bang smile! The cat carry! Saburo looking like his soul is about to leave his body! And then there's Tanjiro with Nezuko's ribbon!!!!!

Thank you so much @cream-buns-12!!! It's beautiful and I'm so glad you enjoyed my fic enough to draw not one but two things involving it!!!

[justalonelybunnyonahill]

Honestly i love seeing the him suffer. Just let him be hopeless abt life or smth and then give him the TINIEST amount of hope, let him bathe in it and then take it away again. idk if thats how the fic is going to go but thatd be really good if it is(dont listen to me if thats not how its going. the fic is for you to enjoy too!)(im sort of planning to make my own angst fic but im rlly slow at it)(should probably stop rambling now)

Trust me, I've literally told my friends that I only give fluffy moments so that the angst hurts more!!! A big part of Tanjiro's journey is going to stress just how difficult and complicated healing from grief can be, so I really hope to do it justice! I thrive off of angst so this is gonna hit hard!!

(Go for the angst fic!!!)(I'm totally okay with the rambling lmaooo, I feel like I do it all the time)(something tells me you are really gonna like the next chapter in the works lmaoooo)

[justalonelybunnyonahill]

*runs over*

MAKE TANJIRO SUFFER EVEN MORE THAN HE DOES RIGHT NOW AND MY LIFE IS YOURS

*scuttles away*

me, eyeing my drafts: that's the one thing you'll never have to worry about! there's plenty of suffering to go around!

I love anytime I get comments about how they cried or how bad it is for Tanjiro now and I have to hold back the evil cackling because it gets so much worse!

(It's actually so bad because I have so many moments planned out already and I just want to get to them but NO I have to build up to them!!!!)

(I literally get antsy because I have so many sad ideas that are just itching to be written)

[justalonelybunnyonahill]

Interlude II: When Fate is an Old Man's Mirror

There were seven graves in the snow. 

Eight Kamados.

The old man hoped that Tanjiro was not the one to survive such a tragedy.

-

The next chapter is up, and its an interlude! I've been biding my time to write one for this character and I thought that this would be the right place to put it since Tanjiro's situation is starting to stabilize more (lmaoo kinda funny to say that when the last chapter he was tormented by nightmares but what can ya do?).

This interlude is for Saburo, the old man who told Tanjiro to stay the night at his place before Tanjiro found the bodies of his family.

Even though Saburo had only two manga appearances, I thought that it was only right to have an interlude for him. I think his character is quite symbolic in the way he only really appears at the beginning and ending of the story, a way to connect the different versions of Tanjiro and Nezuko and how they have changed as they come home once again. From his talk with Tanjiro at the beginning, it is revealed that he knows about the existence of demons and that his family was killed by them. Tanjiro worries about the old man's loneliness and even thinks about bringing his siblings by to keep him company. Just from the gesture alone and Tanjiro's thoughts, you can tell that the family has a rather close relationship with the man. It suggests that they have spent time with him in the past.

When Tanjiro and Nezuko come back home at the end of the manga, Saburo greets them with tears. In the note that they find, it says that the neighbors in the village and Saburo helped to clean up and replace the broken parts of the house. I had a thought that it would be pretty heartbreaking to be the person to find such a scene.

Then that got me thinking. What would the circumstances be like? How long would it take for them to get suspicious? The Kamados live in the mountains so it wouldn't be too unusual for them to not show their faces for awhile. The people in the village, although they care about the Kamados and are nice folks, would not have reason to jump to the conclusion that they are dead of all things. It is not in the minds of ordinary people to jump to death as the cause of someone not showing their face for a couple of days.

It would have to be Saburo to make that first step. It would have to be him to think that it could be something violent. That they could very well be dead. He is the one who has encountered demons before and has had his life ripped away from him. It is why the chapter is named what it is.

"Fate is an Old Man's Mirror" because Tanjiro's fate mirrors that of Saburos.

I don't want anyone to think that means that the people in the village are stuck up or uncaring though. Saburo might take the first step, but they will not hesitate to help him clean up. They love the Kamados just as much. They just did not know that something so terrible could possibly happen to such a happy family.

I also think that its a tragedy that Tanjiro survived in particular. Yes, it would be really sad if only the younger siblings survived, but its the whole idea behind it (think the foundation of the character). Tanjiro loved his family with his whole being. They were his everything and he saw no reason to think of any life but one with them in it. They are his purpose. They are what makes him happy. Even Saburo knows it would be a cruel joke for Tanjiro to be the one who has to live when his whole family is dead.

[justalonelybunnyonahill]

Chapter 9: Grief's Six Month March

No, have faith. Have faith that Urokodaki can make you into a strong sword. 

No matter how good the hands or the tools, a sword made out of mud is still mud.

But you are fire. You are the sun. Transform it into something worth using. Warm it until you can wield it. 

Hardened clay is still not steel and iron. 

But it is a start. It is a step forward. Do not look away from your growth, Kamado Tanjiro.

-

The vibes? Lacy by Olivia Rodrigo

I think the softness of the vocals is perfect for a little boy mourning the loss of everything as his soul is still stuck on that snow covered mountain.

(I guess "Lacy" is grief and that life Tanjiro left behind. It really does taint everything he does.)

[justalonelybunnyonahill]

New chapter is out! I hope it gives off the feeling I wanted it to.

Tanjiro has really just been avoiding direct confrontation with his feelings whenever he can. It's worked so far but I really wanted others to see why it won't work anymore. He can't cope the same way that he used to because he's trying to move forward on a foundation that never existed (never accepted his role in his family's deaths -> never moved on). So it's him finally being forced to find the BETTER way to heal so that he can keep on moving forward. It's the start of him actually having a proper goal in regards to grief and not only is he fighting the buried feelings, he's fighting his own instinct.

It's six months of him having this routine of confrontation as he tries to heal, which is why I called it "Grief's Six Month March". The flickers between nightmares, waking up, and dialogue as he works on the fence is meant to stimulate that feeling of time passing by (quickly and monotonously). I wanted to give a similar feeling to what Tanjiro feels.

It hurts. The nightmares are painful. But he still gets up day after day, still faces that mirror and the old woman even though it makes him feel awkward in his own skin. Even though it reminds him of everything and he doesn't believe a word he says.

But the months still pass and he still moves forward because he hopes that one day he will. He won't let that promise to Nezuko go unfulfilled.

[justalonelybunnyonahill]

*descends to give Tanjiro my coping mechanisms*

*leaves*

[justalonelybunnyonahill]

Fic Link!

It's not my fault if you cry (but wait it is actually my fault so I'm sorry).

When you are sorry but not sorry enough to stop *insert sunglasses emoji that I can't find because I'm on my computer*