justagirltryingherbestt

[justagirltryingherbestt]

need some help—long story short i am back.

—since 2020 i have a f* exercise addiction where the min active cals i burn are 300 (i even saw 1500) which is quite exhausting to force yourself working out in 19275 ways (jumping in place, running, jogging, body weight stuff) just to burn enough. from now on, i will try to overcome this by using walking as my main exercise which i believe can’t do bad. anyways, i will be using this page as a diary and try to post daily if not every two to three days. wish me luck i want my old self again.

[justagirltryingherbestt]

ed tumblr culture in one pic

[justagirltryingherbestt]

I wonder what it's like being naturally skinny. How do people handle so much attention and care? I wonder if the world is easier to navigate when you're skinny, if the people are any less repulsive.

[justagirltryingherbestt]

Do you starve to stop bleeding during your period or are you normal

[justagirltryingherbestt]

i just need to get through this week

[justagirltryingherbestt]

people telling me my diet of energy drinks, alcohol and cigarettes is only killing me as if my raging eating disorder wasn't already doing so

[justagirltryingherbestt]

why have food when nicotine???

[justagirltryingherbestt]

sometimes i really wish someone can see what i am going through and i really wish that person could be my mom

[justagirltryingherbestt]

[justagirltryingherbestt]

[justagirltryingherbestt]

i’m a car at this point because of all the liquids i run on 💀

[justagirltryingherbestt]

Me: barely ate anything, still freaks out over the calories and works out.

Also me:

[justagirltryingherbestt]

Me cooking anything:

[justagirltryingherbestt]

getting my period is like a monthly reminder that i suck at restricting

[justagirltryingherbestt]

[justagirltryingherbestt]

ana quote #161

Just tell yourself one more. One more hour of fasting. One more exercise. One more glass of water. One more walk around the block. It’s only one more day; repeat, repeat, keep repeating, and those “one day"s will pass in no time.

[justagirltryingherbestt]

tell me what happened please

i remember back in 2019, i was able to see -2kg (almost 4lbs) on the scale in a week -without working out and eating around 200cals. i know it might not all be fat but i was for sure losing weight because i saw the way my clothes have started to fit.

right now i have a fucking exercise addiction so i can’t spend a day without AT LEAST working out for 30 mins and burning 300 calories which usually ends up more. i also restrict around 200-300cals max.

my problem is i want to go back to 2019 when i lost easily without exercising, but i am also too scared to stop exercising. maybe i can just try moderate pace walking and try to get at least 300 calories deficit. idk. i feel disgusting.