juniarose-blog - Tumblr blog

[juniarose-blog]

bianca, claire, cain, leviathan!

Bianca - What do you think of the human resistance?

Almost unknowingly, Junia drew in a deep breath, allowing it to linger in her chest before expelling it slowly. “I think it’s …” she paused, thinking of the right way to convey her feelings. The Junia before the fall would have eagerly supported the resistance, as it embodied everything about humans that she loved: their resilience, their determination, their passion and sense of unfiltered hope. It made her feel hope, too, and she could not deny that the signs of it now, in these dark times, hadn’t rekindled that flame higher and brighter. However, along with them, also came fear and trepidation — two words that had been foreign to her until after the fall, until the loss of her wings, until the town of Paradise enclosed its steel claws all around them. She now knew, painfully, achingly, the price that people paid for hope. Despite her years spent watching the humans, loving them, their loss had never felt this sharp, this keen before. And though with every breath she believed and wished and yearned for revolution, for resistance, Junia was also terribly afraid of when those dreams would come true. She cleared her throat gently, lips forming words that they were numb to, “I think it’s a sign of true hope; something that is sorely needed around here. And once that hope comes to fruition, let’s pray that we’ll know what to do with it.”

Claire - Do you think your parents would be proud of you the way you are now?

“My parents loved me,” Junia said, fully believing the statement to be true. Though she did not remember much anymore, she remembered clearly that feeling of warmth and acceptance, for it was them who had taught her about the strength that it could bring. “However, they were very religious, very strict.” She grimaced, remembering the teachings they had passed down to her, their insistence and stubbornness in their way of life. Though she could not remember specifics anymore, she remembered clearly this, for it was them who taught her about faith, too. “They would not be proud of me now, for though I love them with my whole heart, they are too entrenched in their own ways and their view of the world to truly have ever accepted mine, I think.” And that statement sent a pang through Junia’s heart. For though she still loved them, or at least what remnants of memories she could cling to of them, she knew the path she had chosen, the one that had led her to Heaven and God and now Paradise, was not one they would have picked for her.

Cain - Do you believe in predestination? Or do you believe we create our own fates?

“There is too much left up to chance for predestination to truly mean anything.” If there was one thing she had learned in all her years of peeking down from Heaven, it was that anyone, but particularly humans, were completely and utterly unpredictable. She had spent hundreds of years pondering the choices, right or wrong, of those that had shaped history, trying to understand to no avail the paths they had chosen to take and the reasons they had for doing so. Fate was not a primordial being, moving humans and angels and demons alike on a chess piece, according to some abstract set of rules that no one could hope to ever understand let alone get a glimpse at. “Our destinies are controlled by those that we meet, the paths we stumble across, and our own decisions, certainly not fate or kismet. Those that we love, too, are a culmination of our past choices and beautiful, dazzling luck.”

Leviathan - If you could speak with God one more time, what would you say?

One thing that has always been a constant in Junia’s life is her unwavering love and devotion for Him, and even though she had a penchant for sneaking below to see the humans, she had never forgotten the grace and privilege bestowed upon her that allowed her to reside in Heaven. Yet, since having her wings ripped from her body, since seeing the pain that so many around her had endured, Junia could not help the edge of confusion and fear that had crept into her mind, blotting out the trust she had embraced before; those emotions had coalesced into one painful question: Where was He? And as the days had dragged on and the pain had increased tenfold, that question had morphed into the plea that now fell from her lips: “God help us all.” 

[juniarose-blog]

lydia & junia

Junia - Do you believe in love at first sight? 

“Of course I do.” Junia’s answer was instant, immediate, pushing past stretched lips, as if eager to assert itself and her ideals into the world. More than perhaps anyone, Junia felt as if she understood the depths to which the heart could love with just one look. And not simply romantic love, but the sort of platonic bond that would link lives forever, the instinctual draw she felt towards humans over the ages, the bubbling curiosity and warmth in her chest that drew her down from the clouds again and again and again simply because of a passing glance and chanced glimpse. “Love at first sight is a wonderful gift, because there’s no pretense and no dallying. You get to start right at the good part without any of the waiting.” For though it was called love at first sight, Junia didn’t truly believe that people looked with their eyes at first encounter, instead they sought with their soul.

Lydia - Do you miss your childhood? 

“Honestly, I don’t remember too much of it to miss it.” Junia’s mouth turns down, a small furrow between her brows. One of the downsides of living for so long was that memories, especially of her time as a human had started to fade away quickly, shards of it slipping through loose fingers. There were some things she remembered, but only quick snatches, never enough to truly piece together for a true memory. “Though I guess that also means that I do miss it. I think, if given the chance, I would like to remember more about my youth.” How strange that word was, ‘youth’, for it had been a long time since she’d been young; though her laughter and heart and spirit retained the child-like wonder she’d seen reflected in so many small mortals — and she’d been chastised by many for her ‘rebellious’, ‘silly’, ‘naive’ thoughts about humans — Junia could not even begin to imagine what it would be like to not have had all the memories and experiences those latter years had afforded her. And she would not exchange those for any glimpse into her childhood. 

[juniarose-blog]

Abel, Amon, Leo, Michael, Susanna :)))

Abel and Susanna answered here!

Amon - If you could have three wishes granted, what would they be?

For all of the hopes and dreams that Junia possessed, when prompted to put them into words, she finds herself struggling to cherry pick between the ones to voice and the ones to keep secret. For though she wished for them with all her heart, there were some she did not wish to share. Not because she was ashamed of them, but because she did not feel ready to release them to the world, for though she longed to believe the world a truly good place, she knew how easily fragile things could be crumbled by it, and she could not bear to see some of her hopes crushed so soon — so she did something very uncharacteristic of her, the angel who would have defied God to spend one more moment with the humans, Junia played it safe. “I’d wished to be with my loved ones, all the time.” Despite the shot of adrenaline that had snaked its way down her spine and now rioted in her stomach, she couldn’t help the soft smile that drifted across her face at the thought of them. “I’d wish for them to be safe.” Her mind ticked over each of the fleeting wishes she had each day, ranging from the mundane to the life-changing, finally settling on the one that felt the most right to share: “I wish everyone had a bit more hope.”

Leo - What does family mean to you?

It was strange that after thousands of years spent in heaven, with other angels surrounding her and the friendships and fierce bonds she’d created during that time, the word ‘family’ still brought to mind the slightly burnt scent of tinged charcoal, the tough exterior of a well-baked loaf of bread, and the rough sound tumbling from a bearded face. She had not thought of her family, her human family in what felt like many decades — though it was true that she still carried a little bit of them, a little bit of the young, naive, hopeful girl she had been as a human with her at all times — and though many of her specific memories have faded away with time, certainly instances, such as them eating dates around the table, were crystal clear in her mind after all this time. And so when she answered, it was with their voices echoing through her bones and and a soft fire burning in the back of her mind, “They represent the best and most authentic part of me. Family are those that I’ve allowed to change the way I see the world and influenced how I think and believe and talk and act.” Family, for Junia, was those she had let into her heart, not just those that shared her bloods, all those years ago, but every human she’d gazed upon and learned something from, every angel she’d flown with and trusted with her secret, every single being who had somehow touched at the very core of who she was and helped to shape her view of the world — she could only hope that, even if they didn’t know her, they would consider her family, too. 

Michael - What do, or would, or did your wings look like?

Thoughts of her wings immediately brought conflicting feelings of stinging hurt yet infinite joy. However, those initial scars of pain, particularly felt in the absolutely loss of their weight on her back now, eventually gave way to the thousands of brilliant memories she had of them. Junia had loved her wings, had reveled in them for years before the reality that these magnificent things were part of her had sunk in. They had offered her unbelievable freedom and she’d cherished them, nearly above all else, for they brought her closer to those that she loved both above and below. “They had were blush-brushed tips, just barely so in the setting son the edges would seem to melt into the sky.” A wistful note had entered her voice and the edges of her eyes seemed to soften, whether it was with sadness or fondness, it was hard to tell. “They were also immensely big. And quite heavy, actually,” she gave a soft laugh, the ends of her mouth tipping up before flashes of golden hair and a snarled face entered her mind — she turned away quickly to hide the burn of anguish in her expression. 

[juniarose-blog]

Do I get treated equally at work? Not always. Does every woman? No. Do I get asked questions at press junkets by men and women alike, specifically because they will get headline grabbing responses coming from a young woman? Yes. I believe we all have the opportunity to stand up as women in our ordinary everyday lives. I believe that we all have the power to replace hate with justice, open-heartedness and kindness. I believe that one woman’s success, is every woman’s gain. I believe that it is every woman’s choice to be able to live her life how she sees fit… that all of us are girl-bosses and the power of the girl-boss is that we care a bit more about those around us.

[juniarose-blog]

They called her naive for believing in the good in people. But she was just a loving soul, who thought that even monsters needed someone, who truly believed, they were angels once and they can be it again. And yes, maybe that was naive, but this world needed people like her.

Veronika Jensen (via lovelustquotes)

[juniarose-blog]

I find that a lot of the good acting comes out when you’re physically being pushed: your brain turns off and just deals with the situation at hand. You get to a point where you’re exhausted at the end of the day, but I quite like that. (insp.)

[juniarose-blog]

Susanna, Abel, Eve, and Adam!

Susanna - Is love worth dying for?

Upon hearing ‘love’, Junia’s first, most instinctive reaction, was to raise her hand, as if to lay it over that softly beating instrument in her chest. Her second was a radiant smile, one that crinkled the edges of her eyes and scrunched the bridge of her nose, as if her joy was so large it needed to more room to shine. Last came a breathy, but no less eager, “Oh yes.” She pressed her lips together and paused, momentarily pushing the delight on her lips into her glowing eyes, “Love is the only thing worth dying for. It is so real, so true. You are laid bare when you die for love.” Huffing out a puff of muted laughter, she rested her cheek in the palm of her hand, softness against softness, “Though some might see it as weak, those that are dying — well, they probably feel stronger than ever. ” 

Abel - How easy is it for you to say ‘I love you’? Have you ever said it without meaning it?

Even just the mention of love can form a gentle casing of warmth over Junia’s heart, her cheeks, softening the edges of her eyes. Upon hearing the following question though her eyebrows snapped together, just for a brief moment, not in anger, but disapproval — she was not naive enough to question why someone would lie about love. However, she had stopped believing that love meant power for the beholden and weakness for the beholder long ago; it was not about strength or control. Love was not that simple. If it was, it would not be that precious. “I always mean it,” her eyelashes go cast downwards, once then twice, as she searched for how to express herself, “But it’s not a difficult thing to say, to feel, even. I think we all have a stronger capacity and penchant for love than we realize. Love is not the end, something you need to spend a lot of time working up to; falling in love and loving is easy. Certainly, because it is just the beginning.”

Eve - What would you like to be most well known for?

“Well, I’m sure, every one wants to be well-liked,” she said, wryly, almost teasingly, amusement curling the edge of her lips. It was for just a moment though, before her cheeks smoothed and her eyes widened, her face drawing closer, “Yet, more than being well-liked, I would like to be known for compassion, empathy.” Just as quickly, Junia pulled away, laughter once more brimming at the edge of her eyes. “I’m sure you think it’s much of the same thing, but I can assure you it’s not. I cannot tell you how many times my compassion has gotten me into trouble and made me, well, decidedly not popular.” And her eyes grow serious again, almost wistful. “But it was worth it. I don’t think compassion means pleasing others, I think it means loving and caring for someone so much you are willing to go against their word to do something you trust will be good for them. To know them so well that, if you wanted to, you could put their needs before yours. I don’t care, much, about being liked or not, but I do care about understanding others, not only for the magic and intrigue and beauty it brings to my life, but for what I can bring to theirs in return.” Junia’s interest in humans has always stemmed from a deep well of empathy — for dressing in their thoughts and feelings allowed her to forgive every mistake and every wrongdoing; it has allowed her to love them, despite all faults. 

Adam - What’s the worst lie you’ve ever told?

“It was a promise, broken.” An immediate answer; a harsh exhalation, as if it had been dragged sharply, involuntarily, roughly past her lips. She could almost feel its sting. Junia had certainly told her share of white, and not so white, lies. How else was had she managed to often sneak away and find time to love from afar? A sudden pang in her chest made her wince at that thought: love from afar. Everything had been done from afar back then, including her whispered promises. They had been mere breaths against a window pane, the only proof of their existence a brief fog upon the glass before it, too, faded along with her words. There had been no one present to hear them but herself, but she’d spoken them away, because once they’d been released into the world, they could not be taken back. And she had wanted, so desperately, to tie herself to her, to her love, her light, so Junia had breathed the words, pouring her hopes and dreams into those quiet syllables. How eager she had been back then; how certain she had been that she would be able to keep those promises. But just like everything else after the fall, they had been broken, easily. 

[juniarose-blog]

            – ** LEGION ASK MEME

Featuring every character, both open and closed, new and old! Feel free to reblog this in anticipation of bios being released within the upcoming days - and have fun! Once bios begin rolling out, those who plan on applying may also reblog and answer memes for the character of their choice! And of course, for new members, answers to these memes will not sway my decision-making process at all; it’s just for fun!

Abaddon - What do you think makes you great? Were you born this way?

Abel - How easy is it for you to say ‘I love you’? Have you ever said it without meaning it?

Abraham - What is your proudest memory?

Adam - What’s the worst lie you’ve ever told?

Adelaide - If you could change one thing about your past, what would it be?

Alistair - If you could kill anyone in the world without consequence, who would it be? And why?

Amon - If you could have three wishes granted, what would they be?

Asmodeus - Do you believe that pleasure and pain go hand in hand?

Arianna - Is personal gain more important than loyalty?

Azriel - Who would you consider your closest ally? Your worst enemy?

Barachiel - Do you have any unusual talents? 

Bianca - What do you think of the human resistance? 

Cain - Do you believe in predestination? Or do you believe we create our own fates?

Claire - Do you think your parents would be proud of you the way you are now?

Daniel - Do you believe that guilt and regret are wastes of time?

Delilah - Is love weakness? Or is it strength? 

Dominic - What are your vices? 

Elijah - Do you consider yourself a cynic or an idealist? 

Evangeline - If you could instantly learn any skill, with no lessons and no practice, what would it be? Why?

Eve - What would you like to be most well known for?

Gabriel - How easily is your loyalty swayed?

Gale - Is it better to be feared or loved? 

Holly - If you could bring any one of your dreams to life, what would it be?

Isaac - What do you do to quiet your inner turmoil? 

Isabella - What is your most prized possession?

Josephine - If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

Judas - What is more powerful to you: power or camaraderie? 

Junia - Do you believe in love at first sight? 

Leo - What does family mean to you?

Leviathan - If you could speak with God one more time, what would you say?

Lilith - Are you happy with the way you have lived your life?

Lydia - Do you miss your childhood? 

Magdalene - Do you believe in the idea that behind every great man is an even greater woman?

Margot - Do you have any unorthodox interests? 

Michael - What do, or would, or did your wings look like?

Naomi - Do you believe that demons could be redeemed?

Oliver - Describe yourself in three words. 

Patrick - If you were made to wear a mask every day, what would it look like? Or, who would it look like?

Phoebe - How far would you go to exact revenge upon someone?

Raphael - Which of the seven heavenly virtues best fits you? Why?

Raziel - If you could run away to anywhere in the world, where would you go?

Rowan - How highly do you think of yourself? Do you believe you are above or below your deserved station in life?

Salome - Which of the seven deadly sins best fits you? Why?

Samson - How easily do you forgive?

Susanna - Is love worth dying for?

Una - What is your astrological sign? Do you believe in astrology at all? 

Wesley - If you could bring any one dead human being back to life, who would it be?

Wren - What are the last three songs you listened to?

[juniarose-blog]

Hebrews 1:14                                                                                                    Are not all angels                        ministering spirits sent to serve those who will inherit salvation?

[juniarose-blog]

Junia could tell from Lydia’s speech and hesitant actions that the girl was quite averse to tying her up, and she didn’t know whether to feel bad that there was something wrong with her for not feeling that way or thankful that Lydia cared enough about her to not want to bind her, even if they all had agreed it would mostly be a show for the demons. Strangely enough, Junia felt a lot calmer now than she had before. Prior to going into the kitchen and laying down the full plan to everyone, her heart had near palpitations at the thought of returning, willingly, to New Utopia. 

However, now that everything had been set in stone and all the roles had fallen into place, she felt there was nothing else she could do but play her part. Other people were depending on her, not only the angels, but the humans that were sneaking through the tunnels. She had to make this convincing or else more people would get hurt. That was what made it easy to put aside her personal doubts and the pain at being separated from Evangeline. 

Seeing Lydia’s discomfort though, Junia uncrossed her hands from behind her back and walked over to place them lightly on the girl’s shoulders. She gave her an encouraging smile, “Yes, I’m sure. This is what has to be done, and I am more than willing to do it.” She didn’t want Lydia to think that she in any way blamed her for whatever happened later on or that she had been coerced into this plan. Although she may have her doubts, as soon as Adelaide had laid it all out in the locked room, Junia had immediately seen why this had to be done. 

“It is not selfish to be afraid though. I think we all are, even Adelaide, believe it or not,” a note of humor entered her eyes, something that surprised even herself, for she had not thought she’d be able to muster it under the circumstances. “But we’re doing it all together.” That was the most important thing. As long as there were other lives on the line, Junia could not afford to be wrapped up in her own worries. There were others, like Lydia, that she needed to look out for. 

Junia thought about Lydia’s question, considering not her own comfort, but what would be most convenient when meeting the demons. Finally, she shook her head, giving Lydia rueful smile, “I think it may be best for my hands to be behind.” 

Based on her demeanor, she could tell that Lydia didn’t want to hurt her--a rush of warmth for the girl swamped her chest--but she was willing to take a bit of discomfort to make sure everything went a bit smother. “It’ll be more believable, I think. Besides, it’ll be easier to untie me later, as they won’t be able to see.” At least that’s what she hoped. If there was more than one of them, things may need to be reevaluated. Lifting her hands off Lydia’s shoulders, she once again placed her hands behind her back--it didn’t even seem that bad this time.

Lydia was shaking. She could hide her nerves behind a bright smile, tailor her anxiety and tuck it away between clasped palms, but her fingers shook the moment she loosed her hold on them. This plan – it was scary. Dangerous. Exhilerating. To finally help out, to actually be given a task, was more than she’d been able to do before. She promised herself (and Adelaide, and Stella, and everyone) that she wouldn’t mess it up.

It wasn’t a surety, but Adelaide held her trust, and her loyalty. Still, she wasn’t sure it was going to work. Or even that it was a good idea. She wanted Stella back, so badly, but did two wrongs actually make a right? She wasn’t built for this. To compromise between what her instincts told her and what might actually gain them some headway in a war they barely had hope of winning. She grimaced at Junia’s back, following her into the room where she was meant to tie her up.

God, that was a scary thought. Tie her up? Lydia could barely have tied her own shoelaces in that moment. Junia’s smile eased her worry only a little, for she knew the angel to be someone who thought of others before herself, in most cases. Was she really okay with this? Or did she feel obligated to do it? How much had Adelaide’s gun factored into her decision? 

Her brows creased in the middle. “Are you – sure this is okay? Is it really? I don’t – maybe Adelaide should do it.” Panicking, and knowing she was, Lydia took a deep breath. In, out. In, out. “No, that’s selfish of me. If you’re really – if you’re really okay, then I’m okay enough to do it.” She refused to pull everyone else down. Junia had the hard part to do, since she had to face the possibility of being locked up again. All Lydia had to do was play accomplice.

Lydia considered that question, still frowning. It just didn’t seem right. That didn’t mean it wasn’t necessary, but she hated the idea that anything wrong would possibly be necessary. “I don’t think it matters so much. If you can run, after we get Stella, I don’t want you to be off balance. Would they be that suspicious if I put your hands in front of you?” It was a kind of logic, but really, Lydia didn’t want to hurt her. She didn’t want to strain her shoulders, anyway – the rope would probably chafe at her wrists, but she couldn’t avoid that. She did avoid taking out the supplies just yet. Just until she could stomach looking at them.

[juniarose-blog]

The closer the two of them drew to the kitchen, the more dread seemed to create a shadow over her heart. No matter how positive she tried to be, she knew that this plan would most certainly land her behind bars again, and although she tried her best to come to terms with it, she had been given a two week reprieve that none of the others angels were offered (and in fact many of them had suffered for it), and she should just be grateful for that. Although logically she tried to reason with herself, it was her heart that seemed to pump denial through her body, and she could feel the soft thrum of it beneath her wrists a steady no, no, no, no.

Perhaps that was why she slowed her steps, preferring to linger in the hallway with the kind doctor. She nodded at his response, guessing he’d most likely gotten emergency calls well into the night before, though she did feel like she was partially responsible for Adelaide’s actions and thus was partly to blame for rousing such a commotion. Although a smile remained on her lips, the light in her eyes dulled slightly, her gaze glancing over the smooth line of Wesley’s smile. It may have been her imagination, or the shadow cast by the slowly rising sun, but his expression was clinical, well-practiced. Junia could not help it but think it was the same placating smile he would deliver before offering bad news to a patient.

Small wrinkles appeared between her brows and she inquired, more brazenly than she would have if the situation was different, “What do you really think of this?” Although they did not know each other well, had not had the opportunity to, with her having to remain hidden at all times, she instinctively felt that he would be the most honest, most direct person in this house. He must be used to pleading looks and wary eyes, and he must be used to speaking the truth, whether it would bring joy or sadness. In a smaller voice, echoing the her most potent fear, she added, “Do you think it’ll work?”

Even she herself didn’t know--at least that’s what she told herself as she refused to face the reality that it would not--but perhaps he would be able to offer some insight, a different way of looking at it. Perhaps there was a way they could all make it out and ensure the safety of the rest of the angels.

He’d suspected when he first saw her that there was something not quite right about Adelaide Burke — that he hadn’t been mistaken when he’d recalled seeing her face in connection to homicide, that she just might be capable of such violence even if he had — and she’d proven herself worthy of such skepticism when she’d cornered the fugitive angel in her bedroom with a gun. His first thought, guiltily enough (he hated to judge), had been that she might be brazen enough to make it another.

He’d brushed it aside in favor of persuading a certain Mr. Whitley that Junia’s safety was of the utmost importance, if not for the angel herself’s sake, then for Ms. Pryce’s, for a DEAD angel wouldn’t bide well for Stella. But though he’d used that logic to convince Patrick to return to Evangeline’s house with him instead of making a run for the mansion on the edge of town, it wasn’t logic he agreed with wholeheartedly.

Stella Pryce was the priority, but he had utterly no desire to see the angel hurt, either. It was a PITY they couldn’t save them both without risking them both (and others), because regardless of his personal feelings on God and his army, Wesley couldn’t quite crush the wave of dread that rose in his chest at the idea of the dark-haired angel suffering in any way.

In his profession, difficult decisions weren’t a rarity. He was used to making them, but unlike most things, it didn’t get much easier with practice.

Junia had a beautiful smile, made only more beautiful by the circumstances, and he did his best to return it — a physician’s smile, sympathetic and comforting, but offered with troubling things on the mind. She must’ve mistaken contemplation for exhaustion, or perhaps she was just mindful, because when she spoke, she apologized for waking him before the sun. “It’s no trouble. I’ve been up far earlier than this.” Sleeping late was a hard habit to break, so he’d made a point to never form it.

It’s all rather mad, isn’t it? She had no idea just how mad he thought it was, but he wasn’t about to tell her. “Just a bit.”

[juniarose-blog]

Staring into Evangeline’s lovely face, feeling strong fingers squeeze her own, Junia allowed herself to believe that everything was going to be okay, just for a second. Somehow they would be able to do it all: save Stella, help Abel, make sure everyone was safe, and stay together, always. However, that moment passed too fleetingly, and Junia felt the weight of reality pressing against her from all sides. 

As Evangeline tugged her towards the basement, where she knew the tunnels would lead them back to Paradise, it felt like layers of the warm, safe cocoon they had wrapped around themselves in the previous weeks were already falling back into place. Yet with every passing second came the harsh reminder that she could no longer be selfish. First Adelaide, then Stella’s words echoed in her mind, and though it caused her physical pain to do so, she tugged back on Evangeline’s hands, causing them to come to a halt.

“I--,” she paused, unsure how she was going to possibly say this. How she could possibly deny her love something that they both wanted so badly. “We can’t go until we’re sure Stella has gone.” The words were soft, coming out nearly broken; that was how everything in Junia felt at the moment, because she realized, no matter how much she wanted, she would not be able to leave. Even if Stella was safe, the demons would no doubt continue to torture Abel if she did not stay. 

“We need to make sure everyone is safe.” How it tore at her chest to say so; how much she wanted to let Evangeline lead her away. “I need to make sure your safe,” Junia said, a bit more strongly now, because that would always be her first priority. “I will get you to the tunnels, but I can’t come with you this time.”

She’d woken with a start this morning, and it feels like her heart has not quieted or slowed at all since.

It was all a blur: Adelaide, and a feeling of betrayal. The sick feeling in her stomach when Holly let her know that one of Adelaide’s guns was missing, the terrible image those words had conjured up—an image that she still can’t shake, of a woman she admires pointing a gun at the angel she loves. The plan had been formed without her input, she’d quickly bit her tongue on her half-formed protests when it became obvious that Junia was willing to go along.

How she hated the idea of letting Junia out of her sight, after knowing what it was like to have her close. She’d wanted so badly to go with Adelaide and Isabella and Junia, that way she’d know that her Angel had one person who valued her safety above all others, who would not see any harm befall her. But Evangeline’s small voice was lost among the human plotters, louder and more assertive than she, and so she went into the tunnels, but not without a lingering goodbye and a promise: she and Junia would meet up on the other side.

Evangeline would know that Junia had made it to safety, because she would bring her there herself. Yesterday, she would have said that she trusted Adelaide with the task, but after this morning’s event, she is no longer sure that’s true.

And so she waits. And as she waits, her stomach feels leaden, her heart heavy, as it has since she watched Junia bound and being lead away from her. The only thing that can lift her spirits is Junia’s safe arrival, and when the Angel wraps her arms around her Evangeline returns in kind and just stands there, wasting precious moments she’s unsure they have to spare, but unable to make herself step away.

“I’m okay,” she confirms, drawing strength from her Angel’s presence. Junia seems worried and uncertain, but that only means that Evangeline must be strong—stronger than she’s ever been, stronger than she could ever be, were she only being strong for herself. She grasps Junia’s hand, squeezing it once in both of hers before using it to tug her forwards, back towards the tunnels to Paradise. “We will,” she says, willing her voice to be steady, willing them both to believe it. “We’ll make it back, and I’ll hide you, and we’ll—we’ll be okay.”

[juniarose-blog]

A look had come over Stella’s face that made Junia pause and nearly caused her to step back. It was an expression she had seen many times before, through silver bars and hidden in shadows. It was usually paired with dark wings and glinting teeth and pain. She had never seen such an expression on a human’s face since coming to Paradise. Tension crackled along her skin, and instinctively, because she knew what came with that look, Junia braced herself for the blow. At Stella’s words the remnants of Abel’s beaten body and blood-soaked grass seemed to dissipate from her vision, only to be replaced by the sounds of flesh striking flesh, screams and running feet and desperation. Junia’s heart squeezed painfully. Even caught in the middle of the melee, she had thought this was an unfortunate side effect of Adelaide’s plan--there had been a very low chance of everything going off without a hitch. Now, she realized, this, too, was her fault. 

And as Stella moved around and Junia struggled to keep pace, she could not help but remember a very different hallway, opulent and dazzling. She remembered Stella’s refusal to leave everyone else behind, the subtle chastisement hidden in her words. It seemed every time they met, Stella managed to teach her something new. Junia was once again knocked out of her reverie when Stella spoke. It was just in time for Junia to see her turn the corner. Scrambling to catch up, still reeling over the guilt Stella’s last question had spiked, she gripped the woman’s elbow, “Wait! You shouldn’t go down there. It leads to Alastair’s ... chamber.” There would be no exit there, and she did not want to risk anyone finding them in that room with all the available options with which to hurt them.

Junia dropped her hand quickly from Stella’s elbow, and glanced behind her, back the way they came to make sure no one was near. “I didn’t, not really,” she answered, the guilt-coated words crawling up her throat, scraping against her tongue as they left her mouth. “but maybe I can do something now. The others would have used the tunnels to come here, which means it’s still open. If you can get to them, you’ll be much harder to catch, especially with all the commotion.” As she spoke, Junia got her first good look at Stella since running into her, and she felt her words stick, as she took in all the scars, some old and some too fresh. Each and every one of them was her fault. “I’m so sorry,” the words came of their own volition, expelled from the awful pain in her chest.

Stella swallowed as Junia could only agree with her. Well, of course she agreed with her – how could she not? But it didn’t make her feel any better. It didn’t comfort Stella to know that she was right. She had known that all along, the whole time in her cell. All while she was tied to the whipping post. All while she had to listen to Abel cry out and whimper from pain. She had known it all along and so had Junia and she had still done nothing.

Rather than being a comfort, Junia’s confession only stoke Stella’s anger.

A sharp, mirthless, cruel smile flitted over Stella’s face. “You were. And look where that landed us?” She gestured out to the other hallways, where they could clearly hear footsteps, wings. Shouting and begging. All because they had to stage a coup instead of having Junia walk back up to the prison willingly. “It’s been two weeks,” she pointed out.

That was all she said for a minute. Her search continued but there was nothing to help her. The halls were a maze. She had tried over and over to memorize a mental map of the layout, for when she got out, but it had been entirely impossible. Coming to the end of the current corridor, Stella let out a sound of frustration. She stopping, thinking for a second. Tried to place herself in relation to the outside world. With an uncertain glance, she chose the hall to the right. 

“So,” she began again, “did you manage to do anything with your freedom?”

[juniarose-blog]

Junia rubbed her eyes as, vision still adjusting to the dim lighting. Although she could see Adelaide a bit clearer now, she still couldn’t form a plausible explanation for why the human would be here and what cause there was for locking them both in the room. Junia had not had the opportunity to get to know the human well, but she knew that Adelaide took care of Lydia, and it took bravery and true selflessness to look out for someone else, especially during times like these. Therefore, despite whatever Adelaide may be doing now, Junia trusted that everything would be alright. Despite the harsh exterior that the other woman seemed to give off, Junia had never had cause to be wary of her.

She froze, on the verge of rising from the bed, at Adelaide’s brusque words. Even just a month ago, the swear word would have caught Junia off guard, set off a slight flutter in her heart through it was nothing more than a word. However, weeks spent in the prison, overhearing the horrible, depraved things that came out of the demon’s mouths had largely desensitized her to anything as mild as fuckin’. Although the word itself did not startle her, the way they were spoken, like quickly flung knives into the shadow, gave her pause. There was a nervous energy to Adelaide’s movements and speech that also set Junia on edge. Feeling stifled in the comforter, she removed it gently from around her body, though she remained seated at the edge of the bed, as per Adelaide’s instructions.

Although Adelaide assured her that Evangeline was fine, the commotion that Junia began to hear outside the door made her uneasy. What was happening out there? She could hear raised voices, though she was not able to make out what they were saying, and it made her anxious to get back to Evangeline. Even after nearly a week of relative peace, if peace came with guilt and worry and fear, she was constantly anxious about Evangeline’s wellbeing. Many times over, Junia would reach out a hand to trace over the back of her hand or smooth her own over blonde locks, just to pacify the rising panic in her chest. Junia parted her lips, as if to insist that she let those in the hallway in, but before she could say anything, Adelaide continued on, and each word caused Junia to flinch back, as if each phrase was a physical blow.

Her barely contained guilt, pushed into the bottom of her heart and kept there by the bliss of being able to spend time with Evangeline, reared its head in the most horrible way. Junia could feel her pulse speeding through her veins, making her face hot while her hands grew colder. Everything Adelaide said was true, and that was what made it hard to face. Junia had thought she was doing the right thing, doing what Abel had asked of her, but in reality, she had only allowed his words to sway her decision because this was what she had wanted. And now, under the heavy fire of Adelaide’s accusations, her justifications for staying seemed feeble, transparent.

“I--yes, I understand,” she said softly, so softly that her voice was nearly drowned out by the noises from the hallway, more insistent and closer now. As soon as the words spilled from her lips though, Junia felt a slight slice of guilt ease away. It was instead replaced by gratitude. Adelaide was doing what she had been too selfish to do: thinking of everyone else. And how could Junia fault her for displaying the trait that she had liked most about her, for wasn’t she now looking after Stella the way she looked after Lydia? “And it is probably hard to believe, because I have certainly not done anything to convince you, but I am concerned, for both Stella and Abel. I think of them all the time. I pray for them daily.” She paused, a burning sensation behind her sternum momentarily halting her words. “But I see that is not enough anymore. It was most likely never enough.” She had just wanted to believe it so badly.

Although she had said that she understood, she still didn’t really. There was an awful feeling in the pit of her stomach that told her the relief she had found these past few days in Evangeline’s home was coming to an end, but how, she still did not know. She had been so caught up with the thought of Stella and Abel and how she had veritably abandoned them that it was only when she thought back on Adelaide’s words did she realize she’d missed an important part. “W-what do you mean use me?” she asked, apprehension tinging her voice.

She’d never done this before; Adelaide had robbed innocent people, assaulted innocent people, killed innocent people, and yet she had never held anyone hostage. Surely holding an angel hostage in her own bedroom was some sort of sin on a tier of its own, but if it was in the name of humanity and loyalty, then perhaps she would earn a free pass. And even if she didn’t, she’d always known, in one way or another, that she would end up in Hell; perhaps this would just smooth the road there. Only the slightest twinge of guilt colored her demeanor as Junia rose, unceremoniously stirred by Adelaide’s brusque intrusion. Could she sense Adelaide’s harried apprehension? Did she know that she was running off the rails here? 

“Just – just fuckin’ stay there,” she pointed to the bed, gun in her back pocket giving a subtle shock against her bare skin, begging to be used despite Adelaide’s insistence otherwise. There was really very little that she could do to keep Junia in one place; despite her blustering, she wasn’t about to point a gun in an angel’s face. Despite her brusque exterior, she felt quite guilty for even cursing at her. Junia had been nothing but kind to the lot of them; she was, perhaps, the nicest angel she’d met thus far, and surely didn’t deserve to be held hostage by the worst human in the bunch. She was a sour apple where Junia was a flower amongst weeds; but she was an understanding angel, and surely she would see that this was the only way. 

“Evangeline’s fine,” Adelaide snapped, casting a nervous glance over her shoulder at the door, through which she could hear affronted voices and assorted curses – it seemed as if more and more of their neighbors were bing recruited to huff and puff and blow the door down, for the big bad Adelaide was surely bent on harming their dear angelic guest. Little did they know that she was desperate and had a gun; if they would not help her get Stella back, she would simply drag Junia to the fence herself. She could only hope that she would cooperate. “Just – she’s not hurt, she’s fine,” Adelaide shook her head, trying and failing to dissuade the guilt from settling atop her shoulders. 

“We’re getting Stella back. Today,” Adelaide began, abandoning the speech she’d practiced on the way over here, instead taking one step forward and another back again, “And I don’t know any other goddamn way to do it other than to use you. Aren’t all you angels supposed to be concerned for us humans? Does it not concern you that there’s a human over there, suffering while one of your own gets the shit beaten out of him every day because you’re over here? Hell, I get the merit of having an angel over here; it’s a real morale booster and all, but Stella’s my friend, and she’s a human, and I’m supposed to take care of her. It’s my job. She’s my responsibility.” Adelaide hadn’t the foggiest idea when she’d decided that it was her duty to care for Stella, but it suddenly felt right. Stella was her responsibility; every scar she earned on the wrong side of the fence would be on her. 

“Do you understand what I’m saying?”

[juniarose-blog]

Susanna’s hug was different from Evangeline’s, which was probably why Junia had missed them so much. While Evangeline’s embraces were filled with sweet murmurs and gentle tugs, Susanna’s were warm sunshine and soft laughter. As she felt her friend’s arm wrap tightly around her, Junia couldn’t help but smile, letting out a gentle sound of delight. It felt so completely comforting, and while she knew they were far from safety, for the first time since she woke up this morning, Junia allowed herself to finally relax, just for a moment.

Just as quickly though, her peaceful reverie was broken as Susanna let go to clutch her hands. She could se the confusion in her friend’s eyes, in her quiet voice. Hearing the door slam loudly, which felt like a jolt of reality through her spine, Junia followed Susanna into the side of the hallway, deeper into the shadows. “I’ve been in Paradise,” she said hastily, trying to think of the best way to explain Adelaide’s convoluted plot. “I’ve missed you so much,” she said,  unable to stop the words from falling past her lips. They were the truth. There was not much that made her miss this prison, only the companionship of her best friend and the affection she provided.

Junia felt her spine stiffen as the faraway sound of rustling feathers reached her ears--a demon. She hoped she’d only imagined it. “The humans are here,” she began to explain, her words running together, muted. “One of them came up with a plan this morning to exchange me for Stella. They are all here now.” The quiet sounds of footsteps made Junia clutch Susanna’s hands tighter: the wings had not been imaginary. “I ran from the main entrance, and there are a lot of demons there.” She didn’t think it would be a good idea to go back. However, she didn’t feel safe standing in the hallway for anyone to notice. Her eyes landed on the empty cells on the other side of the hallway. The demons surely wouldn’t not think to look there. Once opened, most of the angels would have fled. “What if we hide in there and leave the door open?” She asked, indicating the vacated cell. 

At the sight of a smaller figure running and slamming against the opposite wall, Susanna tilted her head to the side. Surely only someone who was scared would do so, right? 

Her suspicions were confirmed as Junia’s fair skin, her lovely rosey cheeks finally formed out of the darkness. Susanna did feel a sob in her throat, a soft whimper leaving her as she rushed to her best friend and brought her close just as Junia wrapped her arms around her tightly. “Shhh, it’s alright - it’s alright. I’m here and oh I’m so glad you’re safe.” The angels stood there a moment, Susanna shushing her and holding her for as long as possible because she’d missed her so much, had feared for her life and now she was here and she was okay. 

        ( And honestly she had needed a hug for a long time - she’d needed her ray of sunlight )

Slowly she let go of her, taking her hand instead and holding it tightly between hers. “What happened to you? I’ve been so worried and- wait, if you’re here.. what’s going on?” 

Then she heard a door slam nearby, demons running and panic coursed through her veins. The demons hadn’t needed them dead before, but this breach in the prison would not be ignored and they were vengeful creatures after all. Susanna hastily brought Junia to the side, looking down a hallway to see if they could make a break for it. “Do you have an idea where you cam from?” She bit her lip, another thought coming to mind. “Do you think.. should we just stay here? Would that save them?”

[juniarose-blog]

Junia sucked in a shocked breath at the poison tinging Stella’s words. It was her surprise that froze her in place and prevented her from flinching back at the anger in the woman’s tone. Almost unconsciously, Junia rubbed at the area above her sternum, as if trying to soothe the hurt that wanted to bubble up at Stella’s biting words, as she followed the human into her chosen hallway. Her eyebrows drew further down the more Stella spoke, and although Junia very much wanted to defend herself and her choices, she knew it was best to let the human speak her piece.

Stella’s words tugged at the not-so-dormant guilt that had been churning in her stomach for the past week, ever since she had visited Abel that windy morning. “Abel got whipped every day because of you. Every day.” It was as if the words bounced off the sturdy walls, echoing in Junia’s ears. The noise from the main section of the prison seemed to drift away, and it was as if Junia was no longer there. Instead she was standing at the fence, Abel’s bleeding and beaten body hanging limp from the pole before her.

Her chest was hurting for an entirely different reason now. It had been so easy, too easy, to forget the pain that Abel suffered every minute when she was listening to Evangeline’s laugh, sharing meals with her. Junia had allowed herself to pretend that her dreams could somehow become reality; she had been selfish and Abel and Stella had suffered immeasurably for it. As guilt seemed to overwhelm her mind, and the vision of Abel’s broken form still somehow transposed above the dark hallway she now traversed, Junia whispered, “You’re right.” She wanted to apologize, but knew words, at a time like this, were much too late. “I was only thinking of myself.” The first time she had admitted the fault of her actions out loud, and she knew, God, wherever he was, would be disappointed.

Stella had run almost immediately. Had shared a shocked look with Abel and then took off toward the only door she knew would lead to freedom. The main door, the yard door. Before she could make it very far, though, someone slammed into her. Stella bounced back from the impact, groaning. She managed to catch herself, stumbling, so she didn’t fall to the ground. Terror fluttered in her chest and she could just imagine it – she had run straight into a demon. It would be just her luck.

But no, it was an angel before her, one with a familiar voice. Junia. The cause of all this. The reason why she was still in a cell, why Abel was torn to shreds. Her eyes darkened and she tugged her arm from the other woman. “About time you started to care,” she spat out. The hall in front of her, though, was now a weave of thick, black wings. She wouldn’t be able to make it out that way. Scoffing out a noise of frustration, Stella turned on her heel, choice a hall at random. There had to be another way out, obviously. There had to be – and she was going to find it.

“I wouldn’t have to get out,” she went on as she stalked, “if you had turned yourself over at the start of it all.” A long hallway, mostly in shadow. No demons there, yet, that was the important thing. Stella headed for it, peering in doors hesitantly. She needed to find a window or something – some source of light that she could follow. “I can’t believe you left me in here, where I don’t belong. Abel got whipped every day because of you. Every day. And that’s not counting the beating he caught in between.” Her throat burned with anger and the struggle not to raise her voice, not to get caught. Because she wanted to scream at this angel that she had considered an ally.

[juniarose-blog]

       “Thanks for teaching me how to LAUGH                            when I’d forgotten how to.”

                                                        [ Susanna + Junia ( @juniarose ) Aesthetic; Pink & Yellow ]