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Ugh! Emotions! WHY????

I don't get what sets me off all the time. I miss him like crazy and we have hardly talked in months. How can I still love him?

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I wish =(

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Cupcakes&Candlelight on @weheartit.com - http://whrt.it/VPjAtA

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Lonely.

I miss you. i'm sorry. I hate myself for ever letting us fight. I should have held you up and shown you how great I knew you were. How great you know you are. I know I can never be as perfect as you. And I really don't want to try anymore. I just want you to see me as the person I was when you met me, the person you wanted to be around, even if for a lie. I miss you. I really truly miss you. I overreacted last night. I thought that me wanting to hear your voice, to have you acknowledge me would make everything fall into place. And I realized it wouldn't. So I tried to chase you off before the pain could return. I'm sorry.

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I'm am still waiting for this.

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Now I could go on about how much you hurt me tonight, or remind you of all the shit you've put me through because you know I'll still follow you wherever you lead me, but I'm not. I'm just going to say that life is full of unexpected twists and turns. And maybe this is a needed one, maybe it will blow over, maybe it won't. But you've taught me something tonight. When you're lost in self-pity, or depressed, or just need someone you care about, don't rely on other people. Find the strength inside yourself to fight your battles. You also taught me to control my tears. Not one tear was shed tonight. Not one drop of blood was spilled. I just told myself that I was stronger than any of my feelings. That I was better than the person I had become the past two months. That you don't like who I am right now, but you might have liked the person I was. But then I remember why I changed. Lies. A lie so big it shattered me, but shattered things can be pieced back together. I can gather the pieces myself. Someone will have to be the glue. You still have that chance. Let me know how you feel tomorrow. Please Colton. Please just let me fix this. I was trying to be honest on how you made me feel the past few weeks. Inadequate, worthless, and ugly. No. I'm none of those things. I had lost myself in making you comfortable. Love never dies, but it can wither. I'm going to embrace and love myself. You're still welcome to join me. The balls in your court now.

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I'm in the spirit, so what the heck! HAPPY TOPLESS TUESDAY!

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God I love Topless Tuesdays. One day I'm going to impress this kid. Confident. ;) He's a hottie. Dibs!

Topless Tuesday! ;)

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[jrcd2]

LITERALLY EVERYONE IS IN A BAD MOOD 

HOW CAN YOU BE IN A BAD MOOD IF THIS GIF EXISTS 

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Depressed again...

I keep looking at the pictures he posts and try to imagine him and me as the people, but then I realize that it's never going to be. I'm never going to make him happy like I want to. Why can't I? =(

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[jrcd2]

Bitchy Bitchy Bitchy

Hell hath no fury like a bitchy, tired, irritable, stressed Jordan. Watch out Mr. I'm liable to lash out.

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GAH!!!!!!!!

I don't even know what's going on anymore. I'm stressed and I just want to talk to my Fella. But I feel like when I try and talk to him today, I'm annoying him. Gah. idk idk idk idk idk idk idk. Maybe this will get his attention. COLTON! I'M STRESSED AND NEED YOU TO DE-STRESS ME. PLEASE JUST TALK TO ME.