jramirezblogs

[jramirezblogs]

Sorry, guys but I’m starting a new story!

Storyline: coming soon...

Story starts: 2012

Fandoms: Linkin Park, Bruce Springsteen, Bon Jovi

[jramirezblogs]

124

Jaime was outside having a cigarette with the other patients during a break in their day. After a week of being closed off, he started interacting more with the other patients. They respected that he wanted to be referred to as he/him/his. During group therapy, they asked him questions about coming out. He told them how he had come to hate himself as a woman because he felt that men just took advantage of him and he hated his body.

He had come out of a relationship with a guy who had been his best friend for over ten years. They had gone to Tokyo to celebrate their tenth friendship anniversary right when the pandemic hit. They were stuck in Tokyo for a month, more or less because Japan had closed the borders. The United States government was able to bring them home.

When he got back, he had a very hard time adjusting because the world had changed. His stepson had moved out. He missed that and his 18th birthday. He self-medicated with pills before gradually moving onto harder drugs. The thing he regretted the most was the hurt he had caused his friends and family by his addiction. He stole pills and money. His father froze his bank account, so he couldn’t blow all of his money on drugs. A temporary relief had turned into an addiction.

What was his rock bottom? He didn’t think he had one. His ex-boyfriend had flown in from LA to Red Bank, New Jersey. He was staying with him. While he was sleeping, he went into his wallet and stole money to buy heroin. He caught him with a needle in his arm. Did he have an intervention? Kinda.

“He woke me up one morning, almost like a drill sergeant! I had spent the previous day using heroin, so I felt like shit! It was literally out of nowhere! He was like ‘go go go! We’re getting on a plane and I don’t care if you hate me or not!’ I don’t even really remember what he said because I was so out of it! Anyway, we got on a plane and ended up here!”

They laughed.

“Was be the guy you checked in with?”

“Yeah. Everything was so coordinated, I didn’t have time to react!”

Jaime received visitors in the form of Jake and Jesse. They hugged him after he put his cigarette out. Did their parents know they were there? Yeah, they permitted them to come! He had missed them! I hope you like hot weather because Texas was hot as fuck! They laughed as they went back inside. They were introduced as his stepchildren to the staff as they made their way to the living room. How was he doing?

It had been two months since they last saw him. He was doing a lot better! Good. He apologized to them for putting drugs over them. They forgave him. Their parents had kept them away from him because they didn’t want them to see him like that. He agreed with that decision. How was Romeo? He was doing great!

He was in his junior year of college and was really enjoying it! Jake, Jesse, and Jon had started their own wine business called Hampton Water Wine. Jon promoted the wine because they were his sons but didn’t drink it, for obvious reasons. He had seen that on Instagram. Maybe when he got home, he would buy the merchandise to support them! They laughed and said thank you.

How did he get into rehab? They thought he didn’t want to go. He repeated the story he had told earlier in group therapy. Wow! Good for Mike! He didn’t really have time to really do anything because everything just happened so suddenly, which had turned out to be a great idea!

They noticed he had put on weight since they last saw him. He looked healthier. When they sat down with him, he was very thin and his eyes looked dead like there was nothing behind them. It was as if he had died and his body didn’t know. Now, he had a smile on his face and new hope in his eyes. Where did he get the name, Jaime? It just popped into his head. He had googled the name, Kyle.

“Maybe in the future, I’ll legally change it to Jaime Kyle Rzeznik. I’ve been wanting to change my last name to Rzeznik for years. I just hadn’t done it yet. I actually thought of Jake or Jesse but I thought that might confuse people.”

“I like Jaime Kyle. Jk”, Jake said.

“Holy lord. I didn’t think about the initials!”

They laughed again.

“I might change the middle name. I’m not sure. Jaime Allen? Jaime Alexander. I actually think there’s an actress named Jaime Alexander but I could be wrong. Um… Jaime…. Samuel. I’ll think of something.”

Jaime Michael John Rzeznik. That was a good solid name! Was Jon for their father? No, his father Johnny Rzeznik. Ah, ok. Michael was for his best friend.

jaimerzez: Today @jakebongiovi and @jesse_bongiovi surprised me by flying in! It was great to see them and hangout! It’s been two months since starting treatment and I’m optimistic, though still cautious. I would post an updated selfie but that’s not allowed. I’ve gained weight and that’s something I’m kind of going back and forth about. I’m reminded of how hard it was to gain weight when I was in treatment for my eating disorder. It was so hard not to run into the bathroom and throw up. Yes, I’m healthier but my mind is beating me up for gaining weight. On another less serious note, Jake pointed out that my initials spelled out JK (as in, just kidding). While thinking of another middle name, I came up with Jaime Michael John Rzeznik.

Jaime Michael John. Mike read his new Instagram post to the guys. He was still fighting with Chester, but they kept that outside of the band. Chester was acting like a teen girl. You stole my boyfriend! He rolled his eyes and mentally told him to grow up! This wasn’t high school! Rob had made his own choices! He didn’t ‘steal’ him. Rob wasn’t his property, anyway.

Recovery was a process. One step forward, two steps back. He would remain in recovery for the rest of his life. It wasn’t something he could turn off. He would always have that pull back into drugs, just like Chester. There would be times when he felt on top of the world, then times he would be in tears because the cravings were horrible! Addiction wasn’t his fault. Mike thought about how he got him to check in to rehab. Did he regret it? No.

If he hadn’t done it, they may have gotten a call that he had died. That regret would have killed him! What could I have done differently? Why couldn’t I help him? Now, he didn’t have to think that. He was safe and was getting the help he needed. Did they think he would give up smoking? Hopefully! He was already at risk of a cancer relapse! Lung cancer was the last thing he needed!

Jon didn’t have time to think about Jaime, as he had an emergency of his own. He found out that Bruce Springsteen had been arrested for a DWI, so he called his wife and offered his support. She graciously accepted it, so he drove out to Colts Neck. He and Bruce shared a hug after he was invited in by Patti. Thank you for coming. They went to the living room and sat down. Bruce looked remorseful. He never should have gotten behind the wheel after drinking.

For four hours, they talked and Jon listened. He shared his story of alcoholism and how it had driven him almost to suicide. It was a secret battle nobody outside of his family or band knew about. Bruce wasn’t allowed to drive, so Patti had to do more. He was waiting for a trial date. Jon told him that if they needed anything, to please call him. Thank you. They appreciated that!

@astrotravelingg @who-can-rock-a-rhyme-like-this @zoeykaytesmom @feelingsofaithless @linkinlocks @chezterb @mundanedraws @brendonandtheurinebottle @wing69wing @chestersflikka @depplyimagines

[jramirezblogs]

123

Jaime was told that because he didn’t have gender dysphoria, he wasn’t transgender. However, there was another term he could consider: nonbinary. What was that? The therapist told him that it was a term used by people who didn’t consider themselves male or female, but it was also used by people who considered themselves as both female and male. He considered himself as male, though he presented as a female. That was perfectly ok. He was still nonbinary.

It was easy to get them mixed up or confused. Has he considered surgery? He was thinking about having a double mastectomy sometime in the future to give himself a male chest, though he wasn’t sure about giving himself new genitals or going through hormones. That seemed like a lot, especially since he was in his thirties. He also heard that there was a risk of cancer with hormones and he already had cancer – twice.

He didn’t have to have bottom surgery or do hormones. Everything was up to him because it was his body. He may have to quit smoking for top surgery. Yikes! How much did he smoke? He had about three or four cigarettes a day. The packs were expensive, so he had to go through the packs gradually to save money. Wasn’t he a billionaire? Yeah, he was. When he started using drugs more heavily, his dad cut off access to his money. He couldn’t use his debit card to withdraw money and the tellers wouldn’t let him take money out.

If he hadn’t done that, he would have blown all of his money on drugs. He had been pissed off but now, he realized why his dad had done it and he had a lot of respect for him.

jaimekylerzez: An open letter. I’ve written this twice as I struggle to come up with the right words to say. I’m a drug addict. For three years I struggled with an addiction to cocaine, heroin, meth, fentanyl, Advil, Tylenol, marijuana, Adderall, and Xanax. I’m sixteen days sober after being admitted into rehab. I lied and stolen medicines and money. I am not proud of the choices that I made due to my addiction. I will always look back on them with shame and regret. I also hurt my stepchildren by choosing drugs over them and running away. I’m sorry will never be enough to make up for the pain and hurt I’ve caused and I won’t ask for a second chance. Also, today, I’m coming out as a gay, nonbinary man. I wrongly came out as transgender. However, that was incorrect. I had to educate myself on the differences between nonbinary and transgender. Please continue referring to me as he/him/his/son/brother. Thank you.

Mike hadn’t read Jaime’s post as he was busy fighting with Chester. He had caught him and Rob in bed together. That made him blow up during studio time with their band. Mike knew exactly why he was angry, though Brad, Phoenix, and Joe didn’t. All they knew was Chester was pissed! He looked and acted like he had been stabbed in the back. It also seemed as if Mike was trying really hard to cover up what he knew.

“Fuck you, Mike! You fucking cheated on Jaime with Rob! Get your own boyfriend and stop fucking mine!”

Chester walked out as they all processed what they had just learned. Rob said nothing as he decided to check on his boyfriend. Was it true? Mike nodded. Yeah. He had given Rob a blowjob after he came home from Tokyo. Chester had walked in on them and he made him tell Jayde. After that, he and Rob had been secretly meeting to hook up. Chester had caught them in bed together. Holy shit! Usually, Phoenix would make a joke but he couldn’t think of one. He didn’t know whether to laugh or be pissed!

What about Jayde? Jaime. He had broken up with him. Who’s Jaime? Joe and Brad were out of the loop, so he filled them in as Chester and Rob came back in. They hadn’t known that Jayde had come out as transgender. Actually, he just posted something… Mike read his new post.

“That’s a lot of drugs”, Phoenix said.

“What happened when you visited him”, Brad asked Mike.

“He seemed receptive to my being there. We went out and got dinner. Then, he went into my wallet and stole $50. I caught him shooting up heroin in his bathroom.”

“Are you going to press charges?”

He shook his head. “No. It was more about the feeling of betrayal more than the money. I guess I was in denial about his addiction or how serious it was. Until I walked in on him with a needle in his arm. I texted Jon and Johnny about what happened. Johnny responded that he was getting on a plane and going to rehab! I was expecting him to go kicking and screaming. Instead, he got on the plane without fighting me.”

“Good! How long is he going to stay?”

“It’s undetermined. With the number of drugs he was using, I wouldn’t be surprised if he stayed an entire year. Maybe he will also stop smoking.”

“He smokes?”

Yeah. He said he did it when he was craving drugs but had run out of money. Before he started smoking, he was self-harming. He had cuts on his arm, along with needle marks. So, it was literally life or death for him! It was! If he hadn’t gone to rehab, he would have died from either an overdose or suicide. That was what Jon was terrified of and why Johnny kicked his ass into going to rehab! Mike told them what happened the morning he flies with Jaime to Austin, Texas. He had been irritable and didn’t really say much during the flight.

After checking in at the airport, they went outside and he had a cigarette. They then went to their gate. He slept most of the way there. When they got to the rehab, he seemed nervous. He admitted that he was scared of being somewhere he wasn’t sure of. Mike told him that it would be ok and that he was so happy he had decided to come, though he didn’t give him time to really protest. He checked in, did some paperwork then went to detox.

davidbryan: Thank you for acknowledging what you did. At the same time, it’s going to take more than an apology! Show us that you’re sorry by working on getting and staying sober. We love you and that’s why we’re showing you, tough love! We would do the same if you were our child. Congratulations on coming out. I’m excited to meet Jaime. We will always be here for you! Just give us a call. @jaimekylerzez

“So, you and Chester. What were you fighting about”, Joe asked.

“You know what, Joe? Fuck you”, Chester said.

He laughed.

“I think that fire has been poked enough”, Brad said.

“Sorry, I couldn’t resist!”

They decided not to talk about it anymore, though Brad told Mike and Chester privately to figure out what they were fighting about themselves! They didn’t need to include the entire band! They promised they would and apologized to him before going their separate ways. Chester was still pissed and it would take him a while to fully forgive both Mike and Rob for going behind his back and hooking up. Phoenix put his arm around Chester’s shoulders then asked him if he wanted to come over and hangout. Fuck yeah! He laughed.

@astrotravelingg @who-can-rock-a-rhyme-like-this @zoeykaytesmom @feelingsofaithless @linkinlocks @chezterb @mundanedraws @brendonandtheurinebottle @wing69wing @chestersflikka @depplyimagines

[jramirezblogs]

122

It was because of Mike, Jaime seemed happier. They talked about what he wanted. He wanted to finally be happy again and he wanted to start his life as Jaime. Jayde was dead. She died three years ago. How did she die? She died when she went to the psych ward. The hospital locked her in a padded room and threw away the key. She died from being forgotten. What about Jaime? When was he born? He was born in Red Bank, New Jersey with a needle in his arm.

He was still trying to figure out Jayde’s life and how she fucked up so bad! It was like they were two separate people living in him. Kind of like he was living with multiple personalities. Maybe in the next ten something years, he would find a new personality. The almost middle-aged man with cancer, who needs a double lung transplant from all the cigarettes he smoked. Mike laughed.

Maybe he would be covered in tattoos and riding a motorcycle. He would go around to tell kids not to get involved in drugs or some shit like that. Would he have a beard? Maybe. He would be the cool uncle Jaime that all the kids loved. Maybe he would tell them about all the crazy shit he did and how he knew Linkin Park and Bon Jovi. He would tell them about Jayde and all the things she did, like performing at the Grammys or getting stuck in Tokyo.

Mike told him that while he would mourn Jayde and her tragic death, he accepted Jaime. Thanks, babe! He laughed again. They had come back after going out to dinner at Applebee’s and were laying on his bed. Mike’s motivation for visiting was to convince him to go to rehab. He had been ‘hired’ by Johnny to do that. Jon suggested Richie Sambora but it was decided that Mike would work better, as he knew him.

jjrzezdoll: The horrible death of Jayde Lucy Johnson and the birth of Jaime Kyle Rzeznik. Jayde lived a life that many considered fascinating and inspiring. However, she died a tragic death. While in the hospital psych ward, she was placed inside a padded room wearing a straight jacket. The psych ward attendants threw away the key, as the saying goes. She died after days of starvation as her mind slowly deteriorated. Jayde was buried in the hospital morgue. In her place, a new personality took form. He called himself Jaime Kyle Rzeznik and he was born with a needle in his arm. Jaime was tasked with trying to figure out how Jayde’s life fucked up and how to mend the life she had given him.

No. That was the answer Jaime gave when asked to go to rehab. He was tired of everyone asking! If they continued, he would run away again! Maybe to Manhattan, maybe somewhere else! Maybe he would go to Canada! How was he going to do that without identification and a passport? He didn’t know but he would find a way! They knew he was serious because he had run off before!

He wasn’t ready to get sober. The more they pushed, the more he pulled away. They felt helpless and didn’t know what to do. Earlier the previous day, Mike had watched him inject heroin into his arm. He went into the bathroom and broke down in tears. Where did he get the money? His wallet. His best friend had stolen money for him. He caught him with a band around his arm and a needle in his hand. Before he could stop him, he was getting high.

He saw him laying on the floor with blood coming out of his arm. The band had come off and it laid beside him and the needle. This was an addiction. Jaime groaned as the high started wearing off. He rolled over and noticed his best friend with tears in his eyes. Using his finger, he pointed to him then slowly got up. He felt like shit!

“Fuck, Mikey! Why?”

“You need help! I just saw you shoot up heroin! Fuck you and your addiction!”

He got up and walked out of the room still in tears. It wasn’t just about him stealing money from him but him using it for heroin. He felt helpless. His best friend was slowly killing himself. He heard him groaning as the drug left his system. Getting his phone out, he texted Jon and Johnny about what he had just witnessed and that it had been paid for money he had stolen from him. Did he want to press charges? No, he just wanted his best friend back!

Johnny realized that his addiction was becoming too much for them to handle! If they didn’t do something soon, they would lose him. He told Mike to pack Jaime’s suitcase! He was going to rehab whether he wanted to or not! This was no longer a decision he was going to make! Mike wiped his tears then went to go do as instructed!

While he was doing that, he called a rehab center in Austin, Texas called Recovery Unplugged. He had them on his mind for over a year. Could they admit his son? Yes, what was his name? His birth name was Jayde Johnson, but he had recently come out as transgender and was going by the name Jaime Rzeznik. He spelled out the last name. The admissions counselor told him she was making a note to call him Jaime instead of Jayde. Thank you!

Did his son need detox? Yes! He was currently coming down from using heroin! Ok, they would have him check in there. After making the arrangements and getting everything sorted, he called Mike back and they made a plan. He was getting on a plane tomorrow and flying to Austin, Texas! It didn’t matter whether or not he had slept! Mike agreed. He had stopped crying but was still upset.

The next morning, Jaime was woken up and told to get dressed! He was getting on a plane! I feel like shit, Mikey! That didn’t matter! He would drag him out of bed! Fine! He got up and went into his closet. Mike kept an eye on him to make sure he wasn’t looking for drugs. It took him twenty minutes to change his clothes and get downstairs for breakfast. I need a cigarette. He didn’t have time! Where the fuck was he going? Rehab. Before he could argue, he reminded him that he had watched him shoot up heroin! He was not going to let him kill himself!

“I don’t care if you hate me. You’re getting on that plane!”

“I didn’t fucking say anything!”

An hour later, they were on the plane awaiting takeoff. Jaime leaned back and closed his eyes. He was still very tired from being woken up without warning. Mike let him sleep because he was on the plane. Now, he just needed to check-in. He had sent a text to Jon and Johnny with an update. They congratulated him on finally getting him to go to rehab! It hadn’t been easy, but it had been done!

Five hours later, Jaime was in detox after going through an assessment and paperwork. He was not feeling well, so he curled up in a ball on his bed. Mike had left and gone to his hotel. He was worn out but relieved to have Jaime finally receiving the help he needed! Now, he didn’t have to worry about whether he was safe or even alive. He hoped that he would someday be able to have his best friend back. That would mean more to him than being repaid the money he had stolen.

Jaime is in detox! – Mike

Finally! Everyone breathed a sigh of relief! How long was he staying? It was undetermined. After detox, he would go to rehab. He would need a lot of help getting off the number of drugs he had been on. Detox could take a week. He was going to be in hell as his body got rid of the chemicals, but it would be good for him to finally have a clear head! Then, he could work through his issues and get sober!

@astrotravelingg @who-can-rock-a-rhyme-like-this @zoeykaytesmom @feelingsofaithless @linkinlocks @chezterb @mundanedraws @brendonandtheurinebottle @wing69wing @chestersflikka @depplyimagines

[jramirezblogs]

121

Jaime was adamant about not going to rehab. He told Mike, who had flown in to visit, Jon and Johnny, why. Rehab did nothing, the same for therapy. They just went around in circles not getting anywhere. No, he didn’t want to talk about being abused for the millionth time and he didn’t want to talk about his relationship with his mother for the millionth time, either. He also didn’t want to go somewhere for nine months because that hadn’t worked for his eating disorder. It’s a process. Therapy wasn’t meant to work right away, neither was recovery.

They were both something he would have to work on for the rest of his life. What did he want? To be happy again! Johnny told him that getting high was not the way to happiness. That was going around in circles. Not only that, he was destroying himself and his body. One day, he was going to take too much and his body would give out. He didn’t want to have to bury him.

Why was he using drugs? He repeated the same thing he had told Jon and the kids. There was a shitstorm going on in his head and drugs helped turn that off. He was angry and he didn’t care anymore. What was he angry about? Mike cheating on him.

“It’s been almost three years. You’re still angry over that”, he asked.

“Bitch, I don’t forget.”

“I don’t think that’s why you’re angry. I think that you’re angry because you feel like you lost control over your life. You were emotionally exhausted before going to Tokyo. You were in the hospital, remember? Then, you came back from Tokyo and had trouble adjusting. It was really hard for you because things had changed. You missed Romeo’s birthday and him moving out. That wasn’t your fault. I think you’re angry because you feel like you should have been there for him but you weren’t”, Jon said.

Tears. What he said must have touched something inside of him. Was that true? He nodded. It wasn’t his fault that he couldn’t have been there. He wiped his tears. For the first time in almost three years, he was showing an emotion that wasn’t anger. They could see the exhaustion on his face. He had been running for so long. Now, he had nothing. He was out of money and out of drugs. When was the last time he used? A few days before. He used his last $50 to buy heroin. His last $50? He nodded.

“I can’t find my cigarettes, either. I just bought a new pack but I don’t know where it went.”

“I’ll buy them but I need your ID to prove you’re not underage”, Johnny said.

After getting it from upstairs, he gave it to him. He excused himself to go buy them for him. While he was doing that, Mike got up and sat down next to his best friend. He wrapped his arms around him. Was he serious about changing his gender? Yes. Then, he would support him.

Did he want to change his body? He was thinking about having a double mastectomy but nothing else. If he started dating a guy, he would tell him before they got serious. What about women? No, he was never interested in women. He was only attracted to men. Ok, so he was gay. Yeah. He was a gay, transgender man, who wanted to find a boyfriend eventually. Was he going to cut his hair? He got up and excused himself to find scissors.

He found them in the kitchen. When he came back, Mike used the camera on his phone as a mirror. As he cut his hair, it fell to the floor. When he was done, it looked like a shaggy mop. He took off his sweatshirt and shook out the hair. Mike then noticed what he had been hiding. He was thin and he could see cuts on his wrist, along with needle marks on his arm.

Jon had noticed them, too. He went upstairs to get a new sweatshirt. Mike motioned to his arm, making Jon nod. Yeah. They didn’t know when he was cutting. He thought he was doing it when he was high or coming down. If he didn’t get help, he was terrified they were going to lose him to suicide or an overdose! He nodded. Maybe he could convince him. He sighed then stated he would try. How long was he staying? A week. His ex boyfriend had Otis, so he could fly out.

Jaime came back down wearing another sweatshirt, as Johnny came back in with the cigarettes. He handed them to him and stated he didn’t know which ones he liked. They were fine. Thanks. They sat back down and he noticed his hair on the floor.

“This isn’t a barbershop”, he joked.

“Thank god because I couldn’t afford it”, he said as he sat down.

He placed the pack on the table in front of him. His lighter was somewhere in his room upstairs. He would have to find it later. Jon looked at the pack. Newport’s. Was that what he usually smoked? He smoked whatever he could afford. Where did he get them? The gas station. Even though he was in his thirties, he was still carded. Jon put the pack down on the table. How about he picked up his house? Did he know how messy it was? Yeah, he did. He could do that later. Maybe he could actually find his shit.

After a while, Jon and Johnny left. Mike and Jaime went upstairs to his room, where he turned his music on. The upstairs was just as bad as downstairs! There was drug paraphernalia on the bedside table and garbage on the floor. He didn’t know what he could touch and what he could. Jaimie left then came back in with a garbage bag.

“Ok, I’m unmedicated and I have a ton of energy! If I don’t do this now, I’m never going to get this shit done!”

Mike laughed. “I would help you but I’m afraid to touch anything!”

“My bed is safe.”

He sat down on the bed as he went around cleaning his room. The used drugs went into the garbage, but the needle he used to inject himself with heroin stayed on the bedside table. He didn’t want to get another. Was he sharing needles with anyone? Not at home. He may have when he was on the streets. The dirty clothes, he put in his laundry basket to be eventually washed. The room was starting to look a lot less trashed.

He found his other pack of cigarettes hidden underneath a pair of jeans. Fuck yeah! He put them on his bedside table. Did he ever smoke in the house? No, only outside. When did he start smoking? It was about a year ago. He had started smoking because he needed something to do when he couldn’t get drugs. What about cutting? He looked at his arm.

He did that when he was craving. That was from before he started smoking. Smoking had replaced cutting. When he was done cleaning, the room looked a lot better! What about the rest of the house? No, he would need an energy drink for that! He laughed and told him to sit down. So, he put the tied up garbage bag down and went over to him. After sitting down, he kissed him gently. Yes, he was a drug addict but underneath, he was his best friend. They went to the center of his bed, where Mike got on top of him then kissed him again.

Jon and Johnny were back at Jon’s talking about what they had learned and what they should do. Rehab was their only option. Johnny told him he would look into centers that specialized in LGBT patients. Jon thanked him then told him to go home and rest. Rest? He had a seven year old! Jon laughed.

After emptying everything he had inside of Jaime, Mike pulled out. He went into the bathroom to clean up. As he was got in the shower, he thought about how he was going to convince Jaime to go to rehab. He was still and most likely would, always be in love with him. After they broke up, he and Rob continued having sex. Until, Chester threatened to expose them to the other guys. It was because of that, they ended their affair.

He got out of the shower, he dried himself off then got dressed. Jaime came back in through the front door. He smelled like smoke, so he guessed he had gone out for a cigarette. That was confirmed by the pack and lighter in his hand. How about they went out to eat? He would pay. Jaime was open to doing that! Mike grabbed his wallet then walked downstairs behind him.

@astrotravelingg @who-can-rock-a-rhyme-like-this @zoeykaytesmom @feelingsofaithless @linkinlocks @chezterb @mundanedraws @brendonandtheurinebottle @wing69wing @chestersflikka @depplyimagines

[jramirezblogs]

120

Jon, David, and Phil had no compassion for Jayde choosing to use drugs. She had every opportunity to tell them she was having trouble. Instead, she stole and lied to them. They understood depression but it wasn’t an excuse! Her drug use made them angry, especially when they weren’t provided answers. She had answered their questions but they didn’t know if they believed her.

Chester had more compassion. He understood how an addict though because he was an addict! Even when he was sober, he was always at risk for relapsing due to his serious depression. Whenever he was left alone for too long with his own mind, he had suicidal impulses. They got worse when he was drinking. He used drugs to shut off his mind and he had a feeling she was the same way, or at least that’s what he was reading from her Instagram posts.

He wished he could fly out and hold her. Maybe he could talk some sense into Jon, David, and Phil. Yea, her drug use was her fault but her depression wasn’t. Her mental illness wasn’t her fault. He wished he could know what was going on through her mind.

What did they think about her not wanting to be a woman? Joe thought that maybe she thought that as a man, she wouldn’t go through the same pain she was experiencing as a woman. They agreed with that theory. Maybe she would end up coming out as transgender or after she went through detox, she would decide not to go through with hormones and surgery.

jjrzezdoll: Today, I sat down with myself with a clear, sober mind. It’s been who knows how long since I last used. Anyways, I had to ask myself who I am. You may think that I’m saying this shit because of the drugs but everything in this post is true. I want to introduce Jaime Kyle Rzeznik. I am and always have been a man living in a woman’s body. It took me too long to recognize that. I understand that some of you may not take this seriously, but I’m asking that you do. Jaime is who I am and who I am meant to be. I also want to clarify that while I am coming out as transgender, I am not going to go through hormones or surgery.

Jaime was transgender. Was this who he was meant to be? Jon had the kids explain it to him. Stephanie told him that people who were transgender, felt like they were living in the wrong gender. It made sense for Jaime (formally Jayde) to feel like he was living in the wrong body. He hated being a woman and was self-medicating that hatred. Now that he had come out, he may be able to finally live how he wanted to live.

Would he come home? She didn’t know but when he did, they would have to refer to him as Jaime and not Jayde. Mike and the guys were not as surprised as Jon. Though he had times when he was feminine, he was more masculine. Jayde as they knew her was dead. Jaime Kyle Rzeznik was the name he had given himself.

jesse_bongiovi: I like the name, Jaime! We miss you! Will you please come home? @jjrzezdoll

He replied that he was on his way. When he arrived, he sat down with Jon, Jesse, Jake, and Stephanie. Jon asked him if he was serious about being transgender. Yes. Ok, then he would respect that. Was he willing to go to rehab? He shook his head. Why not? Because he didn’t need rehab. He had gone for his eating disorder and he didn’t feel it worked. All he did was go over the same shit over and over and he was tired of it! That’s why he hated therapy.

They just went around in circles and never really got anywhere. Did he know that he was killing himself? He nodded. As selfish as it was, a part of him didn’t care. Jesse asked him why he was choosing drugs over them. There was a shit storm going on in his head and he just wanted to turn it off. He recognized how his drug use was affecting them and that guilt made him want to use more. It was a cycle.

The more he used, the more he hated himself. The more he hated himself, the more he used. It was better to not feel anything than to feel pain. Jon told him that they would not let him use drugs in front of Romeo. That’s why he wasn’t there. He was also not allowed back in the house unless he was sober. They would not give him money because they knew exactly where it was going to go. He could choose them or he could choose to get high. It was his choice.

That made him start crying a little. He selfishly chose the drugs. I’m sorry. He wasn’t ready to stop. After getting up, he walked out on them. Jake was angry. He hid his face as he cried. Stephanie wrapped her little brother in her arms.

“Dad, I have an idea.”

“What?”

“What if Richie talked to her… him? He could help him understand what he was doing.”

“Richie? It’s worth a shot.”

Jaime drove back home and went up to his room. He was out of money and needed to go to the bank to get more drugs. As he hadn’t slept in days due to using drugs, he was also very tired. He took off his clothes then crawled into bed where he crashed. His house was a mess but he didn’t care. All he wanted to do was sleep.

Johnny drove to Red Bank after hearing his son was home. He said hello and introduced himself to the kids before asking to speak with their father. Stephanie told her brothers she would kick their asses on the X Box! She wished! She and Jesse laughed as they walked out of the room. Jon invited him to sit down.

“Did you read Jaime’s new post?”

“Yeah, I did. I spoke to Mike. He thinks this is legitimate. I honestly don’t know what to think anymore. This is not what I wanted for my child. It’s a feeling of helplessness.”

He nodded. “My daughter had a drug problem. She overdosed about eight years ago. Her addiction wasn’t as severe as Jaime’s. She’s been sober ever since. I just want him to get help but I’m not going to tolerate it in my house.”

“I understand. I was an addict for years. I think we should approach this with caution. The more we push, the more we lose him.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of. Losing him. Whether he is male or female, I will always love him. He needs help but he doesn’t want to or can’t realize that. We asked him but he said he wasn’t ready.”

Jaime slept for twelve hours as his body detoxed itself from the drugs. He felt like shit when he woke up, so he found his cigarettes and lighter, then went outside. As soon as he breathed in the smoke, he felt better. He knelt down to the ground as he questioned how he was going to get more money. The bank was his only option. Now, he had to find his credit card. He went back into the house after setting the cigarette down and went to find his purse.

He found an extra $50 he forgot he had. Fuck yeah! He got his phone and texted his dealer. All he had the money for was heroin. His dealer came to his house, they did the deal, then he left. He took the heroin up to his bathroom, where he prepared it before shooting it into the vein in his arm. It was instant relief! He sat on the floor as it traveled through his body.

@astrotravelingg @who-can-rock-a-rhyme-like-this @zoeykaytesmom @feelingsofaithless @linkinlocks @chezterb @mundanedraws @brendonandtheurinebottle @wing69wing @chestersflikka @depplyimagines

[jramirezblogs]

119

jjrzezdoll: Look for the girl with the broken smile. Ask if she wants to stay awhile and she will be loved. – Maroon 5. I am so fucking tired! I want to disappear into a hole for the rest of my life. I just spent 72 hours in the psych ward after going through a bad experience with drugs. My dealer supplied me with what I thought was heroin, but it must have had fentanyl or meth mixed in because I was INSANE! I don’t remember what I said or did or even being arrested. All I remember was waking up in the hospital and being told what happened. Now, I have literally nobody. I think about why I started doing this shit and it makes me want to go back. I’m a fucking drug addict! This is not where I wanted my life to go! At the same time, I’m so tired of the shit in my mind and being reminded every fucking time I look in the mirror of all the trauma I went through. It’s better to feel nothing than to deal with my own mind.

Jayde was outside of her house having a cigarette when Jon and David stopped by. She had been discharged earlier that day and had taken an Uber home since nobody had been there to pick her up. That pissed her off and she wanted to get high but her supply was low. All she really had were her cigarettes. When did she start smoking? She had started a year ago.

Even though it was moderately healthier than drugs, they both hated to see her smoke! Jon was a former smoker, so he knew what the smoke was doing to her body. They asked if they could talk to her seeing as she was now sober. Yeah. She bent down and put out her cigarette on the pavement before they went inside. Thank you. She had a coffee tin in front of her house, which she put her cigarettes in once she was finished with them.

Her house was a disaster! It had been neglected due to her being on drugs most of the time. They went to her living room and sat down. What the hell was going on? Why was she using drugs? David told her everything he and Jon had been noticing the past year. She had been doing so well! Then, she went downhill.

She was tired! Mike cheated on her. She didn’t know anyone in Red Bank and she wanted to go back to LA since she wasn’t needed anymore! Jon pointed out that he needed her. She pointed out that he had used her for sex and then kicked her out! He didn’t fucking need her! He thought about that day when he told her that she couldn’t stay with him. She had told him to go fuck himself. David asked him about that. He admitted it was true.

He had asked her to leave because the kids were coming over. It could have been handled better and he could tell that she had been hurt. David wanted to know more, but he would ask him later. Besides that, why was she using drugs? She hated herself and being a woman! Every time she looked in the mirror, she saw the abuse she had gone through.

She didn’t want to hear how strong she was or how resilient she was because it didn’t change the thoughts in her head. It was better to be numb than constantly getting hurt. She was angry and she was tired. That’s why she was using drugs. She was angry? Yes, she wanted to find everyone who had ever abused her and beat the shit out of them, especially Elon. She wanted to beat him until he was black, and blue, and bloody, as she had been.

She also wanted to verbally abuse him. What about Mike? She hoped he was miserable! Through what she said, they saw hurt, anger, pain, and frustration. How long has she been holding everything in? Was she constantly just putting on an act for them? They noticed that she had nothing behind her eyes. They were black. Why did she hate being a woman?

Because guys only saw her for her body. She hated everything about herself. Even though it sounded narcissistic, she hated being beautiful. Every time a guy wanted something from her, they told her how beautiful she was and she was tired of it! Did she want to change genders? Sometimes, yes. She wasn’t going to do it though, as she didn’t want to go through surgery and hormones. They hadn’t known that she hated her body. She did have an eating disorder, but they thought she had been in recovery from it and was starting to like food again.

After they finished talking to her, they left and went back to Jon’s. David asked him if he was out of his mind! Why would he kick her out? He didn’t have a reason, though he could tell now that it was one more thing that pushed her over the edge. Yeah. They couldn’t do anything, as they weren’t her family and she was a legal adult. If she wanted to use drugs, they couldn’t stop her.

Jayde was out of drugs, so she got her purse and phone, got in her car, and drove to Manhattan, a little over an hour away. Before she left, she put on a hoodie to cover up her arms.

An hour and a half later, she was getting high on heroin in the alleyway behind a restaurant. The drug kicked in almost immediately and she was feeling the effects. She felt calm, the most calm she had felt in 72 hours. The needle dropped to the ground as she sat down on the pavement. Fuck! The owner of the restaurant noticed her and had her leave. He was tired of druggies camping out! She looked at him and told him to fuck off!

Jon called Mike and told him what he and David had learned. Did she want to change genders? It looked like she did. She had a hatred for her body and she hated being a woman.

“We think that she might not be looking into becoming transgender and that it was more body image issues. We honestly don’t know what to do. She’s in pain and she’s using drugs to self-medicate.”

“What drugs is she using?”

“She told us that she was using heroin, cocaine, meth, marijuana, Xanax, Adderall, and possibly, fentanyl. Her blood test came back positive for meth and heroin. She has track marks on her arm and she’s also cutting.”

“Oh my god! This is worse than I originally thought! Have you talked to Johnny?”

“Not yet. He doesn’t know what to do, either. We can’t commit her because she’s a legal adult. We can only call the police when she leaves the house under the influence.”

“Jon, I am so sorry! I don’t know what to do, either except putting her in rehab. We might have to wait for her to hit rock bottom, though.”

What was rock bottom? When she overdoses and almost dies or when she contracts a disease, such as HIV? They were at a loss.

Jayde had passed out underneath someone’s front steps. She woke up forgetting where she was for a moment and freezing her ass off. Her body was going through withdrawal and she needed more drugs. She got up and started walking around. Two NYPD detectives noticed her. They got suspicious that she was on something, so they pulled her over to talk.

Was she ok? She told them that she was fine. What was her name? Jayde Johnson. Was she looking for a place to stay? Yeah. They told of a homeless shelter a few blocks away. No thanks. She would stay in her car, as she didn’t feel safe in a shelter. Why not? She had heard stories of people being raped and killed. Where was she from? Los Angeles, California. She was living in Red Bank, New Jersey.

They could see nothing behind her eyes. Her face had a look of sadness and pain. They told her to find someplace warm. She would. They then went on their way leaving her behind.

@astrotravelingg @who-can-rock-a-rhyme-like-this @zoeykaytesmom @feelingsofaithless @linkinlocks @chezterb @mundanedraws @brendonandtheurinebottle @wing69wing @chestersflikka @depplyimagines

[jramirezblogs]

118

jjrzezdoll: If you could only hear the shit that goes on in my mind, you would hate me too.

Jayde was a drug addict. Jon had caught her high on more than one occasion. He and David went through her purse one afternoon after she had locked herself in the bathroom. They found a pipe, a baggie full of white powder, a lighter, condoms, a pack of cigarettes, her phone, a bottle full of pills, and her wallet. Her phone was locked with a passcode and the bottle of pills had the label scratched off.

Inside were a variety of different pills. Her phone background had a picture of her and Mike during their trip to Tokyo. What were they going to do? If they called the police, she would get arrested. If they didn’t, she could overdose and die. David went to the bathroom and knocked on the door. Jayde! They could hear her throwing up in the toilet. He turned the handle but it was locked. The toilet flushed and they heard the sound of her washing her mouth out with water. Jayde!

“I’m in the looney bin! Call 1-800 I fucked Elton John!”

“Are you ok?”

“I can’t hear you! The penguins ate my face!”

Jon nodded at him. They both stepped back against the wall. With everything he had, Jon kicked the door open. Good job! He nodded at him again. Inside, they found Jayde high on something while sitting in the bathtub. Around her was a half-empty vodka bottle, a needle, a rusted spoon, and a lighter. Heroin. They looked at her as they sat down. She looked horrible! Her beautiful features were gone!

Her arm had injection marks. It also looked as if she was self-harming by cutting her wrist. Some of the scars had healed, while some were brand new. Oh my god! David thought he was going to be sick! She got up and walked out on them. They followed behind her. She grabbed the baggie, lighter, her phone, and pipe. Before she could leave, Jon grabbed her arm. Let me go! He let her arm go but he wasn’t letting her leave. What the hell was she doing?

“I’m fucking killing myself!”

“Why?”

“Ask Santa Clause!”

“What drugs are you using?”

“The right ones! Got some meth for you, some coke, some pills, some heroin. Maybe some weed. I’m not the fucking FBI! I want my drugs back!”

No! She pushed past them and went back to the bathroom, where she put everything down her shirt. Neither of them was going to put their hands in there and she knew it! They couldn’t do anything. She again pushed past them and went outside. Jon told him that she was gone. That meant they could call the police and report her for being high in public.

The police found her ten minutes later. They arrested her for being under the influence. She was placed in handcuffs, read her rights then placed in the back of the police car. Because she was under the influence, they thought it would be best to bring her to the hospital psychiatric ward, so she could detox under supervision. She was going to get very sick and they didn’t want to risk her having a seizure at the county jail.

How did this happen? Jon and David didn’t have an answer. She was never the type to touch drugs. Her friends didn’t use drugs. They went back through the past year to what they could remember. She had tried to make it as an artist but she had been dropped by her label due to not agreeing on who she wanted to be as an artist. They wanted more Mariah Carey/Ariana Grande, which meant a sexier sound.

She was against that! They had recommended that she walked away if she wasn’t being valued as an artist. What about her and Mike? He didn’t know. She didn’t talk to him about that. The only thing she promised to do was get tested every three to four months. Jon decided to call Mike and ask him.

Mike answered the call on speaker as he sat with the guys. He then reported that he hadn’t heard from Jayde in two years! Why was that? He admitted to having cheated on her. She stopped talking to him and the guys. So, he didn’t know she was using drugs? No! Was he serious! Unfortunately, yes. When did this happen? They believed it had been happening since around the time they broke up.

They started noticing that she had more energy than usual. At first, they didn’t think anything of it because of her ADHD. Then, Jon noticed pills going missing whenever she would come over. He kept his eye on her but when she thought he was getting suspicious, she stopped coming over. So, he and David went to her house and confronted her. She denied everything and blew them off. They didn’t think they could do anything, so they left.

They didn’t hear from her for three months, so they went over to her place. That’s when they found her in the bathroom. He told him about that. They had to call the police because she was a danger to herself. She was hospitalized to detox safely but they knew that once she was discharged, she would go back to using.

Jayde felt like shit! She was given medication and was closely monitored as she went through withdrawal. Her whole body hurt, she felt nauseous and she was cold! She wanted to break out and find drugs to get high again. They would make her feel better! She curled up in a ball underneath the blanket and closed her eyes to keep herself from throwing up. I’m fucking dying in here! She put the blanket over her head to block out the light.

A nurse came into check on her. How was she feeling?

“I’m on a fucking mountain with Baby Yoda and I feel like shit! Let me out of here! The aliens are going to find me and zap my brain out! I’m going to ride high with the astronauts! Do you know Elon Musk? He’s in prison with the donkeys! I need medication! I’m not sick! I’m just riding the rainbow! That light is too fucking bright! When is spaghetti time? Are we having anchovies for breakfast? I’m fucking Bruce Springsteen!”

The nurse could tell she was acting to get more medication. She would not tolerate it and she clearly stated that. After twenty years working in the psychiatric ward, she knew what addicts were like. Jayde was throwing words together in a salad and not making any sense. She stated that she couldn’t help her if she didn’t talk to her. Jayde removed the blanket from her head.

“I feel like I’m going to fucking throw up!”

“Thank you for telling me. I’ll get you some water.”

After drinking the water, she was encouraged to walk around. She got out of bed and followed the nurse. During their walk, she asked her questions to keep her distracted from her symptoms. Has she always lived in New Jersey? No, she was from LA. She had been born and raised there. What made her come to New Jersey? Her former fiancée and her stepkids. She and her ex had broken up but she still saw her stepkids. Her youngest was in his second year of college. Did she miss him when he was away? Yes, she missed him very much. He was a great kid! She was so proud of him!

@astrotravelingg @who-can-rock-a-rhyme-like-this @zoeykaytesmom @feelingsofaithless @linkinlocks @chezterb @mundanedraws @brendonandtheurinebottle @wing69wing @chestersflikka @depplyimagines

[jramirezblogs]

117

Jayde was alone. Romeo had turned 18 while she was in Tokyo. He had formally decided to get his apartment, paid for by Dorothea and Jon. It had taken a couple of months but he found one he could afford and liked. They, with the help of Jake, Jesse and Stephanie helped him move in after his 18th birthday. He was now responsible for his bills, groceries, and everything else.

He had found a job working at Gianni’s Pizzaria doing the delivery. It was a good job and he liked doing it, especially when he was given tips. Because of the pandemic, a lot of people were getting delivery, as they couldn’t go out. He had to pay for gas, but he was compensated 10% from his job. Jake had ordered from there one afternoon just to mess with him. Romeo didn’t even ring the doorbell when he arrived. He set the food down in the kitchen, then went to find his brother for the tip he was owed. Jake gave him $5, which he stuck in his pocket.

Jon laughed as he said goodbye to him. Bye, Romeo! Out of courtesy for the customers, he wore gloves with the required face mask when he made deliveries. He kept a plastic shopping bag in his car for garbage. At every house, he got a new pair of gloves. His customers sometimes thanked him for wearing them, as they could tell that he cared about their health, along with their food. He also found he was tipped more often when wearing gloves.

Because he was gone, the house was quiet. She had been told that he had moved out but she wasn’t prepared for it emotionally. It felt like the world she had left was different from the world she came back to. She took everything out of her suitcase, put her dirty clothes in the basket and sorted everything she bought in her room.

Jon came over to see how she was doing. He could see she was having trouble adjusting, so he took her hand and brought her to the living room. They sat on the couch and rested her head on his shoulder. What’s wrong?

“Everything changed while I was gone. I don’t know where I am or what I’m supposed to be doing.”

“Baby, the world changed. You need time to adjust. Don’t rush it. It’s going to feel strange for a while but that’s ok.”

He kissed her forehead making her smile a little. The world did change, seemingly overnight. Nobody was prepared for the pandemic. It could take years before things went back to ‘normal’. Was she also having trouble because Romeo wasn’t there? She nodded while trying not to cry. They all knew he was going to turn 18 sooner rather than later. She had just wished she could have been there to help him through his decision to move out. He was like her youngest child.

She had known him since he was eight. Now he was an adult! Jon agreed. He knew what she was saying. Kids grew up before the parents were ready. She wiped her tears. Did she want to come over? The kids were with Dorothea. Sure.

When he got to his place, they went upstairs to his room and laid on his bed. There would always be something pulling them together. They were like magnets to each other. He wanted to make love to her but not if she was in a committed relationship with Mike. She told him that she was. He would respect that, then.

Mike was also alone. He had returned home to an empty house. After getting his stuff upstairs, he put it in his closet to deal with later. He went to his bed and laid down. It had been over a month since he had left. Now, he didn’t know what to do with himself. He got out his phone to see if anyone had called or texted him. Rob had. He invited him over to hang out with him and Chester. The kids were gone, so it was just them. He replied that he was on his way over. Before he left, he grabbed a few condoms and put them in his pocket.

When he got there, he knew why he had been invited over and he was more than ready! Rob brought him into the bedroom and kissed him. There was something in the way Rob always kissed him. It made him want him. He moved his mouth to his neck as they undressed each other. Mike let himself be taken by Rob and his body. His body was excited as he took control of him. Rob sat down on the edge of the bed.

Rob had a great body but it was always hidden underneath a t-shirt. Mike pulled him closer after the t-shirt was on the floor and he kissed his abs. Rob groaned as he ran his fingers through his hair. He moved his head lower as he unzipped his pants. Mike knew what he wanted and he was ready to give it to him. He pulled down his boxers and saw that he was waiting for him. Fuck me, Mike! He pulled his boxers and pants down further until everything was exposed.

Chester came in and saw the two of them together. He hadn’t known that he had come over but now, he saw his best friend and boyfriend together. Mike was on his knees with him in his mouth. Rob was too busy to notice he was there. Chester walked out of the bedroom until they were finished. He could hear him groaning. Mike had learned when to tell when he was about to come, so he moved away as he did. Rob groaned in relief. Fuck! He got up then kissed him happily. They then noticed Chester and that he was not happy!

“Wait, you didn’t know I was coming over”, Mike asked.

“No, but now that you are! It’s my turn!”

“Chaz, I’m sorry. I thought you knew!”

“Forget it. Do you want me?”

“Yes, I do.”

Mike wanted him but not as much as he wanted Rob. He let him love his body, though because it wasn’t worth fighting with him and ruining the mood.

The next day, Mike texted Jayde and told her what happened between him, Rob, and Chester. They had talked about having a committed relationship, so he felt he had cheated. He waited nervously for her reply as he tried to keep himself distracted. As his phone sat on his dresser in his closet, he unpacked his suitcase and put the dirty clothes in the basket.

Babe. I thought we were in a committed relationship! If you wanted to be open, you should have told me that. I’m pissed off and I need time to figure what the fuck I’m going to do! – Jayde

Jayde had spent the night with Jon. He noticed that she wasn’t happy when he came out of the shower. She told him what happened after he asked. What was she most upset about? Him not being able to keep his pants on. He was more sexually active than her. Jon sat down next to her and wrapped his arms around her. She mentioned that they could have hooked up last night! He laughed. How about now?

“You’re too irresistible!”

He laughed then laid her down on the bed before getting on top. They were about to start when they heard the front door open. Damn it! He went into the closet to get dressed as she acted like she was checking her messages. It was Jake and Jesse getting something Jake had forgotten. When they noticed her, they said hello. When did she get back? She had been back for a couple of days. Where was their dad? In the bathroom? She shrugged.

They said goodbye to her then went on their way. After getting what they had come for, they went back downstairs. Both she and Jon heard the front door close again. She went down to check. Yeah, they were gone! She had seen their car pull out. He came out wearing boxers when she told him it was safe to do so. Now, they could get back to what they were doing! She laughed as he got back on top.

@astrotravelingg @who-can-rock-a-rhyme-like-this @zoeykaytesmom @feelingsofaithless @linkinlocks @chezterb @mundanedraws @brendonandtheurinebottle @wing69wing @chestersflikka @depplyimagines

[jramirezblogs]

116

It started with phone calls, tweets, and emails from concerned family members. They gave information about where their family members were, their names, and phone numbers. That information made its way up to the new president, Joe Biden, and Vice President, Kamala Harris. Together, they formed a plan. Joe called in the United States Air Force to locate everyone and bring them home.

The Air Force made a plan to bring everyone to LAX, where they would have everyone quarantine for 14 days. If they were well enough to travel, they would be able to go home. With the plan set in place, they started contacting everyone on the compiled lists. They also contacted LAX to tell them of their plan.

Twenty-four hours! Mike and Jayde had twenty-four hours before they had to report down in the lobby. He had completely healed from COVID and was able to fly. The first thing he wanted to do was see his son! He wanted to wrap him in his arms and never let go! From there, he would relax and enjoy waking up in his own bed again. He would miss Jayde, though.

During their journey, he had fallen so in love with her! They would have to FaceTime and talk about their future, but after they both had time to get used to being home! He looked over and saw her getting her stuff sorted in her suitcase. She was like an Energizer bunny! He had to laugh at her excitement!

“You’re adorable!”

“I’m literally like… I don’t even know! Babe, I’m not going to be able to sleep tonight! I’m literally Chester on too much coffee!”

“You’ll sleep on the plane!”

“Hopefully! I don’t fucking care if we’re in coach! As long as we’re on the plane!”

“And you wanted to cross the border into China!”

“I’m so glad you talked me out of that!”

He laughed again.

jjrzezdoll: Very quick update! Yesterday, Mike received a phone call from the United States Air Force. They would be picking us up in the lobby of our hotel at noon and flying us to LAX, where we will have to quarantine for 14 days. That gave us twenty-four hours to get everything sorted and packed. I could not sleep last night because I was so fucking excited! We are currently waiting for other families to arrive as we are a half-hour early. Mike is certain I’ll sleep during the flight. At this point, I’ll be lucky if I can sit still! After a month, WE ARE COMING HOME!

Once everyone arrived and checked in, they were taken to the airport. They were given tickets to allow them on the flight. They also had to show their passports before boarding the plane. The Air Force Sargent had everyone sit spread out, so they were all six feet apart. They could take any seat in coach. First-class was reserved for Airmen! Their bags were loaded into the storage compartment but they were able to have their carryons.

Jayde and Mike took a spot near the back because they could. Why not? They said any seat, as long as it was in coach. Once everyone was seated, the Sergeant came on the PA. Could everyone hear him? Yes!

“Ok, I want to welcome everyone aboard! On behalf of the US Air Force, it is our honor to bring you home! Here is what’s going to happen. This flight will arrive at Los Angeles international airport around two in the morning. We have accommodations for you at the airport. You will be given a cot, a blanket, and a pillow. You will have three meals a day, provided to you by the Air Force. Medical personnel will come around and assess you before you go to sleep. If you are showing symptoms of COVID, you will be taken to another room to quarantine. On this flight, we ask that you remain in your seat unless you have to use the lavatory. If you do use the lavatory, we ask that you wipe down everything with a disinfectant. We will also be serving you a meal during this flight. I will hand this over to the flight attendant for a safety demonstration.”

During the flight, Mike had leaned his seat back as far as it could go to get comfortable. He had the aisle seat while Jayde had the window. This was not as comfortable as in first class, but he couldn’t complain. He had turned to look out the window when he heard a familiar voice. Mike. He looked to see a woman standing before them. Oh my god! He stood up and hugged the woman. She sat down next to them. Mike then introduced Jayde as his girlfriend.

“It’s nice to meet you. I’m Anna!”

“Hi. It’s nice to meet you!”

Jayde had no idea who she was but she played along to be polite. Anna and Mike caught up. He told her that he had a son, who was nine. What was his name? Otis. He went back and forth between him and his ex-boyfriend. She told him that she had a daughter named, Olive from her ex-boyfriend. How old was she? She was going to be eleven in the next month! Did Jayde have any kids? She had six. Two biological and four-step. Her stepkids were from her former fiancée. Her daughter was eleven and then she and Mike shared a son.

She decided not to ask as it wasn’t appropriate. They made plans to catch up when the pandemic was over. She said a polite goodbye before going back to her seat. Mike looked a little guilty. Whoops. Did he know that she was going to be on the flight? No! He hadn’t even recognized her!

“That was your ex-girlfriend?”

He laughed and nodded. “Yeah. What are the odds? Oh my god! I thought you were going to be rude!”

“I felt like it but I didn’t want to hear about it for the next twelve hours!”

He laughed. “We broke up because I put the band before her, or that’s what she said. She packed up her shit and left. That was the last time I heard from her.”

“What a bitch! I’m sorry!”

He shrugged. “That’s why I’m so happy to have you!”

“You’re such a romantic! I’m glad I have you too!”

The night he had found Jayde, he was driving home from her apartment. They had a stupid argument over who’s stuff was who’s. He had to get out of there before he lost his cool. Because they had been together for almost six years, they also thought her daughter was his. He had taken a DNA paternity test and it wasn’t his. Anyway, he was just trying to get his shit together by driving around because he was so pissed off. That’s when he decided to pull over and walk around.

“Fuck her! Bullet successfully dodged!”

“I think so, too!”

When they landed at LAX, they got their carryons then waited for everyone else to get off. Once they had, they followed everyone to the designated accommodations. It wasn’t as bad as she had thought. Instead of a standard uncomfortable cot, they were given a compact portable zip-up bed with a mattress, pillow, and blanket.

After being screened, they asked about taking their medications. An airman handed them two bottles of water. He then told them where the bathrooms were if they wanted to change. Thank you! Did they want to change? Yeah, after taking their medication. They both dug into their bags and found their prescription. Once everything was done, they crawled into bed and said goodnight before zipping up their tents. Finally, they were home!

@astrotravelingg @who-can-rock-a-rhyme-like-this @zoeykaytesmom @feelingsofaithless @linkinlocks @chezterb @mundanedraws @brendonandtheurinebottle @wing69wing @chestersflikka @depplyimagines

[jramirezblogs]

115

Jon called his children into a meeting. Because of the virus, Stephanie, Jake, and Jesse had returned home from school and they were visiting him. Romeo was at Dorothea’s as it was her week to have him. They would catch up with him later over FaceTime. The state of New Jersey wanted to keep everyone at home unless they were considered an essential workers. That meant he had to stay with his mom until the ban was lifted.

Jon didn’t have custody, only visitation. He told Romeo that he would only be a phone call or FaceTime call away. Romeo stated he understood why the decisions had been made. He promised to text his dad about what he was doing. Thank you!

Stephanie asked him how he was doing with Jayde not being around. He was having trouble. When she was there, they had a routine. Now, it felt like his routine was gone. Did he need groceries? They could order them for him. No, he had gone to the store before everything closed down and bought what he needed. The thing he was having trouble with was his episodes. How bad were they? They were weekly.

He heard things and had delusions. David and his wife had come over. Phil had come over, as well during his last episode. Was he taking his medication? Yes. Maybe they could find someone he could talk to online. They had apps where he could talk to a therapist from home. She got out her phone, looked them up then handed her phone over to him. He scrolled through them. They looked legitimate, but he wanted to do more research before he picked an app to use. He handed the phone back to his daughter.

Since Jayde had power of attorney for him, what could she legally do? She could talk to his doctors and therapists about how he was doing. If he needed a new medication, she could go over them with him or if he wasn’t doing well with the medication he had, she could talk to his therapist about trying something different. She could also hospitalize him if he was a danger to himself or others.

She didn’t know that. He nodded. It was his idea. He wanted to have that peace of mind, just in case. They agreed. Why didn’t he ask them? Because he didn’t want to put that pressure on them and at the time, they had been engaged. Ok. He mentioned coming out with his diagnosis, but he wanted to get their approval first. They told him that it was ok with them. Did he ask Romeo? He nodded then stated that he had permitted him, as well.

With the help of Jesse and Stephanie, he put out a statement on his Instagram.

jonbonjovi: Due to ongoing rumors, I am taking this time to confirm my diagnosis of late-onset bipolar disorder – with psychosis. My intention for keeping this a secret was the privacy of my children. They have permitted me to come forward with my diagnosis. I am currently undergoing treatment for my disorder. While I am unsure what the future of Bon Jovi holds, I am forever humbled for over forty years of support! I want to encourage everyone to take care of their mental health, especially in these trying times.

His statement went viral across the internet and news stations. His fans, family, and friends commented on their support for him. Why did he mention the future of Bon Jovi? Were they breaking up? No, they were still working on their new album. He wrote in the comments that they were unsure about their future due to the pandemic.

jonbonjovi: I should have clarified that! That was my mistake.

They knew what he meant! They left comments of support for him, as did Jake, Jesse, Stephanie, and Jayde! She texted him how proud she was of him! That made him smile. She was always supportive of him and it was one of the reasons why he fell in love with her. He had also fallen in love with her beauty, her selflessness, sense of humor, how she could hold him accountable, and how she loved him in bed. When she got back from Tokyo, he was going to scoop her up and make love to her.

Baby, you’re an angel! I will always think that! I wish you were here with me. – Jon

Mike had woken up from another nap. It had been two days since his diagnosis and he was hating it! He was sick and tired of being sick and tired! His symptoms were to last up to a week but he could have lingering symptoms of depression, anxiety, sleep issues, and memory problems. When he was feeling better, he was told to talk to someone in the United States if he had any mental health issues. He texted Jayde to let her know he was awake.

Dude! I’m taking a bath. I’ll be there when I’m done. – Jayde

JAAAAAAAAAAAAYDE! – Mike

Holy lord! – Jayde

He laughed. Even though he felt like shit, he could still joke around. He had to have a sense of humor to keep him going. Was he using his sickness to his advantage? Maybe, but she was having fun with it as well. Because he was resting, she had decided to pamper herself. She had put body wash in the warm water for bubbles, before letting her body soak. Her phone rested on the floor as she listened to music. She had the ringer on, just in case she received a text.

What did he need so urgently? Nothing, he just wanted to tell her he was awake. She had finished her bath, got dressed, then went to check on him. Did he interrupt her? No, she was going to get out anyway. How was he doing? He told her that he was sick and tired of being sick and tired! She could understand and empathize with that! Being sick wasn’t fun! He agreed.

Was he hungry? They should be delivering lunch soon. No, he didn’t have an appetite. She encouraged him to at least eat something. It would help him feel better. He stated that he would try.

jjrzezdoll: Jon, I love you and I’m so fucking proud of you! You have worked your ass off the past couple of years to get to where you are now! You’re taking accountability and you are the man you always wanted to be! You have made SO much progress! I know that you can’t see it, but you have! The Jon you are now is not the Jon you were a couple of years ago! This Jon has a smile and energy to him! He has four kids, who love him! I wish I could be there in person to tell you this! I’m sending you love! @jonbonjovi

Jesse read what she had posted to Jon. It made him laugh. He could feel her excitement through her words. She was adorable when she was excited! She had posted an old picture of him kissing her cheek while she rested her hand on his chest. Jesse showed him the picture. It had been taken during the thanksgiving weekend right after she moved to New Jersey.

He remembered it well because it was the weekend he had decided he was going to propose to her. She had met and gotten along with his family. It was a very happy time in his life and he wished he could go back. He handed the phone back to Jesse and stated he would reply to her later. Ok.

@astrotravelingg @who-can-rock-a-rhyme-like-this @zoeykaytesmom @feelingsofaithless @linkinlocks @chezterb @mundanedraws @brendonandtheurinebottle @wing69wing @chestersflikka @depplyimagines

[jramirezblogs]

114

Mike wasn’t feeling well. He found a doctor through the internet for a virtual appointment. What were his symptoms? He felt nauseous, very tired, with a sore throat and a cough. Did he have a thermometer to take his temperature? No, he didn’t. The doctor had him download an app on his phone. He did. What was his temperature? It was 100 degrees. When did his symptoms start? He felt unwell when he woke up that morning.

Could he go to the doctor? He told the doctor his and his girlfriend’s situation. The doctor thought it would be ok for them to get medical treatment for him. To him, it sounded like he had the flu. He wanted him to drink plenty of fluids, rest, and have his girlfriend monitor his symptoms. I will. Thank you.

After the appointment, he told Jayde what the doctor had said. She looked up nearby hospitals. She called one, where she spoke to someone who spoke English and explained the situation. Her boyfriend wasn’t feeling well. Could a doctor come see him? Where were they located? She told her they were at the Hyatt Regency in Tokyo. They didn’t have access to transportation.

The receptionist put her on hold to see if there were any doctors available to make a house call. There was. She came back and told her that a doctor would be there within a half-hour. What room number were they in? She told her. Ok, they would be there shortly! Thank you!

A doctor arrived and was led to Mike, who was laying in bed. Jayde went over and told him that the doctor was there to see him. They exchanged a nod and she switched places, so the doctor could examine him. The doctor wore a hospital uniform, gloves, and a face mask to protect him from any germs that he might encounter. The doctor had him tell him his symptoms, so he did.

How long have they been in Tokyo? Two weeks. They were unable to leave because the prime minister closed the border. Were they American? Yes, they both were. They had picked an unfortunate time to visit. It looked like they had, but they couldn’t have predicted the virus.

The doctor found signs that he had contracted the virus. The tests he administered proved that. Both he and Jayde were told what to do and how to protect themselves from also getting sick. She was told that he would have to quarantine until he felt better, the symptoms lasted a few days to up to a week. That meant that she would have to sleep somewhere else. Did she have masks or gloves? No, she did not. He would have a hotel staff bring those up for her.

Whenever she was taking care of Mike, she was to wear them. She would also have to thoroughly wash her hands. He gave her papers with information on what to do. Thank you. He would tell the hotel about him being sick and he would find a way to get him medication.

“Thank you. I don’t know if this is appropriate. I’m sorry if it isn’t. Is there a way to fill prescriptions for us? We both have medications from home and we’re about to run out”, she told him.

“May I see them?”

“Yes, let me grab them.”

She excused herself to go to their suitcases, where she found both bottles. The doctor looked at them. He took out his phone and took pictures of the labels. He would see what he could do. Thank you. She followed him out and opened the door for him. He told her that her boyfriend was lucky to have her. Thank you! She appreciated hearing that!

I’m going to be out here until the masks and gloves are delivered. Sorry, babe! – Jayde

You suck! – Mike

He groaned and put his phone back down on the bedside table. The room was spinning, so he closed his eyes before he threw up. It was around noon and he should be eating lunch or discussing with Jayde about what to get for lunch. Instead, he was sick as a dog. He thought about Chester, who was also sick. How was it that they were both sick, even though they were halfway around the world? He found that strange.

Chester was starting to feel a bit better. He had stopped throwing up and could keep down food. His nausea was also going down. He had a little more energy and wasn’t dependent on laying around. Still, Rob wanted to keep him home because he was still contagious. With nothing to do, he checked his social media.

jjrzezdoll: This morning, Mike woke up complaining of not feeling well. I called up an English-speaking doctor we found online and spoke to the receptionist. The doctor made a house call about twenty minutes later, where he diagnosed him with COVID. Someone from the hotel is going to bring up gloves and masks for me to prevent me from getting sick. He is going to feel like shit for up to a week! Just another day here in Tokyo. @m_shinoda

A half-hour later, the masks, gloves, and their prescriptions were brought up to their suite with their food. Jayde put her hand over her heart then bowed to the hotel worker. Thank you! She brought everything to the table, then put the gloves and mask on before going to see Mike. He looked up from his phone and saw her coming in with a huge smile from behind her mask. What are you so happy about?

“They brought us our prescriptions!”

“Thank god for that doctor!”

“Are you hungry or should I leave your food for later?”

“Uh… can you please leave it for later? I’m going to try to take a nap.”

“Yeah. I’ll put it on the bedside table.”

“You are amazing!”

She gave him a kiss on his forehead then walked out, closing the door behind her. He closed his eyes as he asked himself how he got so lucky to have her as his best friend and girlfriend. She had a caring heart and a selflessness that made her want to love everyone more than herself.

The doctor diagnosed him earlier with COVID, the virus that is going around. I don’t know if it’s reached you guys yet. He has to quarantine for a week and I have to wear gloves and a face mask anytime I come within six feet of him. The doctor who visited was able to get our prescriptions. There is enough for a month! Anyway, that’s the update I can give you right now. – Jayde

Brad confirmed the virus was in the United States. Unfortunately, the government wasn’t doing enough. Everyone was in lockdown and had to stay home. That order had come the evening before. There were people who were protesting the lockdown and some were getting arrested for not following orders. It was insane! They were so incredibly entitled that they were putting the health and safety of others at risk! He and his wife, Elisa were staying home with the kids.

I’ve heard Japan is following orders. Maybe they could teach the crazies about caring about others instead of themselves! Anyway, that’s my rant. I’ll let the guys know about the update. Let me know if anything changes! - Brad

@astrotravelingg @who-can-rock-a-rhyme-like-this @zoeykaytesmom @feelingsofaithless @linkinlocks @chezterb @mundanedraws @brendonandtheurinebottle @wing69wing @chestersflikka @depplyimagines

[jramirezblogs]

113

Jayde was soaking in the bathtub. The bubbles she had made from the bottles of body wash she had poured in. She had brought her phone in and was listening to music from her Spotify. Her phone sat on the floor, so she didn’t accidentally drop it into the water. She heard Mike ask if he could come in. Yes. The door opened and she saw him step inside. He closed the door behind him then sat down. After doing so, he turned the music down. Was it too loud? He shook his head.

No, he just wanted to talk to her. How was she doing? She told him that she was feeling a bit better and not so stressed. He apologized for not talking to her about how he was doing. His mind was going in different directions as he tried to process the situation. He thought they should take the rest of the day off and figure things out tomorrow. She thought that was a great idea!

She could tell that he was stressed out and she didn’t blame him for it. They were used to answers but they didn’t have any. That was very true. They were stuck in a country different from their own with the uncertainty of how or when they would be able to go home. That was scary to anyone! They both had kids to get home to, as well. Was he going to get in trouble for not being home? No, Max knew the situation. He would take care of Otis for him. Good!

He was going to call Rob later to see how Chester was doing. What’s wrong with Chester? He had the flu. Rob had taken him to the doctor because he wasn’t feeling well, then had dropped him off at home to rest. He was going to check on him later to see how he was doing, then give Mike an update. Chester tended to get hurt or getting sick. It wasn’t anything new to them.

“One time a spider bit him on his ass. He had to be hospitalized. Then, he tore a ligament in his hand playing basketball, broke his wrist after jumping from a platform during a show, and injured his shoulder when we were in Asia. After every injury, he would come back and show off his new cast.”

She laughed. “Sounds like me. That’s why I never played sports. I have two left feet.”

He laughed. “Him getting the flu is just a bump in the road for him. He’ll be fine.”

Chester wasn’t fine! He felt like shit! Why did he have to get sick! He was sick and tired of being sick and tired! Rob was home taking care of him, which made him feel a little better. Still, he wanted to go back to being active again, instead of laying around doing nothing. His stomach hated him as he felt nauseous every time he moved his head. Rob came in and asked how he was doing. He replied that he felt hungover.

Since he didn’t drink, he didn’t know what that felt like but he could imagine it felt like having the flu. He closed his eyes to keep the room from spinning and told him he was lucky. This was not a pleasant feeling! He couldn’t have coffee, which made him even more grumpy. Has he heard from Mike? He thought he was home by now. Yeah, they had been texting back and forth but they were still in Tokyo. How come? He told him about the situation.

“Oh my god! When are they coming home?”

“They don’t know, yet. It depends when the prime minister opens up the border.”

“Fuck you, Mikey!”

jjrzezdoll: Lockdown. The act of confining people into their homes for an extended period. Tokyo is a literal ghost town! The once-bustling city is bare. The Japanese government has declared an official lockdown for everyone, except those who are ‘essential workers’. It’s so weird to think how different it was yesterday compared to today. Yesterday, the streets were crowded. Today, nothing. Mike and I decided to give ourselves a mental health day to gather our thoughts. I think we’ve realized that coming home may take months. This vacation has certainly been an adventure! I’ll keep updating you guys when there’s news. @m_shinoda

Jayde received a call from her therapist. She would get a hold of a pharmacist in Tokyo to get her the medication she needed. Thank god! Hopefully, they would get them to her soon! She was running out! Mike was too. He had called his doctor about getting his anti-HIV medication sent to him but he had yet to hear back.

Her friends and family were thankful she was updating her Instagram with news of what was going on. Jon was having a difficult time with not knowing. After a very fun week, Romeo had to go back to Dorothea’s. He told both of them what was going on. Romeo asked when she was coming home. He didn’t have an answer to that but he promised to keep him updated. Ok. Dorothea thanked Jon before walking to the car with Romeo’s book bag.

Now, he was alone. Well, until Phil came over to hangout. He was in town and offered to stop by. While he waited, he went into his studio to keep himself distracted. While he was playing with the keyboard, he thought he heard someone walking around upstairs. He stopped what he was doing and listened. Yeah, he was hearing them. He got up from his chair and then went to investigate.

When he got to the top floor where the bedrooms were, he followed the footsteps to his bedroom. He told whoever was in there that they were on private property. The footsteps didn’t stop. Was his house haunted? He looked around everywhere as he tried to find the source of the sound. Nothing. He even checked in his bathtub and his shower. Nothing. He knew someone was hiding because he could hear whispering.

He couldn’t make out what they were saying, except for Jon. Someone was calling his name. He went to his room and saw Phil. Thank god! What’s going on?

“I think my house is haunted! Do you hear those footsteps?”

“No, I don’t. Let’s go down to the studio. It’s ok.”

“Ok.”

He followed him back down to the studio. Once inside, he closed the door out of paranoia. He thought about locking it, but he wanted to give him and Phil the chance to escape if someone was in the room with them. Because he was paranoid, Phil made sure his hands were visible and he didn’t do anything that would make him perceive him as a threat. He asked him if he had worked on any music to attempt to distract him. Yes, he had. He and John Shanks had worked on his vocals for a couple of songs. They just needed to be mixed.

John had written a song for Jayde, that he had recorded a demo for. What was the song? It was called Heart Attack. It was more pop than her first album but they thought she would like it. He pulled up the file on his laptop and played it for him. The song was about the fear of falling in love because of getting hurt too many times.

“Putting my defenses up ‘cause I don’t wanna fall in love. If I ever did that, I think I’d have a heart attack”, Phil read from the lyrics.

Jon laughed. “I emailed her the demo to see what she thought. She hasn’t gotten back to me yet. Did you hear about her and Mike?”

“Yeah, I did. That’s unfortunate! Hopefully, they’ll be home soon!”

“Yeah, hopefully!”

@astrotravelingg @who-can-rock-a-rhyme-like-this @zoeykaytesmom @feelingsofaithless @linkinlocks @chezterb @mundanedraws @brendonandtheurinebottle @wing69wing @chestersflikka @depplyimagines

[jramirezblogs]

112

Jayde and Mike had explored the beautiful city that was Tokyo. She was so happy they had chosen to come for their tenth anniversary and she expressed that to him. It was a once in a lifetime trip. He kissed her head and told her how deeply honored he was to have her want to come. If she was any other girl, he would have had to convince her to join him. Jayde, however, was excited the second he mentioned it. To her, it was new and exciting!

Throughout the two weeks, they had fallen more in love with each other. It reaffirmed his belief that if she lived in LA, he would get down on one knee and ask her to marry him. They had talked about her coming back to LA after Romeo graduated high school. She thought about buying another house in LA while keeping the other one in Red Bank. That way, she could go back and forth.

The only thing she was concerned with was Jon and his mental health. He understood her to need to stay in Red Bank. If it was him and Chester, he would be hesitant about moving away from him. What if he had an episode and tried taking his own life again? He would be devastated! Jon was the same way. She had power of attorney, so she had to be there to make medical decisions for him. He was getting older and who could tell what his mental health would be in a year or two?

They had one more night in Tokyo before having to go home the next morning. Before going out to dinner, they packed everything and got it sorted to save time in the morning. They laid out their pajamas and fresh clothes to put on later. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her forehead. I love you.

He had seen and responded to an update from Rob, who had taken Chester to the doctor. It was the flu. He was at home resting while he was at his place. Chester had his phone with him, so if he needed anything, he could swing home. Mike knew the band was at his place since he had permitted them to use his studio. He told Rob to let him know if Chester needed anything when he got home the next day. I will do that!

Jayde and Mike were supposed to check out and fly back to LA but they were told that Japan had closed their borders, preventing anyone from coming in or out of the country due to a virus going around. The front desk attendant gave Mike as much information as he had, which wasn’t much. Their hotel would remain open, so they would be able to have a place to stay. Jayde couldn’t speak Japanese but from the look on Mike’s face, she could tell it was serious. He thanked him then pulled her aside with their bags.

They sat down in the lobby, where he told her what was going on. There was a virus that had started in China and had come across the border into Japan. Because of the number of cases being found in the country, the prime minister had closed the borders. That meant that had to stay in Japan.

Even through the uncertainty of the situation, he was trying to remain calm. It wouldn’t do any good to get upset, especially since the attendants didn’t have any control over the situation. They were just the messengers. Could they stay in their suite? They both noticed that the lobby was filling up with guests, who were also trying to leave and some people were becoming upset.

“Yeah. I think that because of the virus, they don’t want to kick us out. It’s safer here than out there. Let’s go back up and let everyone know what’s going on. I need to get out of this noise and clear my head.”

“That’s a great idea. I need to get out of here, too.”

They got their bags and went back up to where it was a lot quieter. Back in their suite, he wrapped her in his arms. It was going to be ok. He had to think that or else his mind would break down. The whole situation was scary and overwhelming. He was a natural leader, who could keep calm during situations but this was something else. They were stuck without any choices that could be made or options to choose from. He had to believe it was going to be ok.

It was nine in New Jersey and Jon had just checked on Romeo. He was playing on his x box and Jon reminded him not to stay up too late because his mom was picking him up around eleven. Romeo promised he wouldn’t, then went back to his game. Jon closed his door behind him as he heard his son sigh in frustration at his game. His phone was in his room. He noticed that he had missed a FaceTime request from Jayde, so he called her back. Maybe her flight was delayed or canceled? He hoped it wasn’t anything serious.

“Hey, what’s going on. I thought you guys were at the airport.”

“No. We can’t fly home.”

“Wait. Why?”

She had Mike explain the situation, as he had been the one who spoke with the attendant. For the time being, they had to stay in Japan. They had no idea when they would be allowed to come home. Jon suggested that they try to contact someone from the American embassy and tell them where they are. Even if they can’t do anything, they will have the record that they are there. Did they need medication? Yes, they were going to run out.

He suggested that she contact her therapist and let her know what was going on. Maybe she or the pharmacy could somehow talk to Japan and get her alternative medication. Mike stated that he needed his anti-HIV medication but he would call his doctor about getting that. The whole situation was frustrating, especially given the lack of information being given. Jon couldn’t imagine! Being in a country without a way to get home, that would give him a lot of different emotions: fear, anxiety, being overwhelmed… maybe some anger and frustration. Not at the people working the front desk but at the situation.

For once, Jon had a clear head and a plan. He wished them luck. Thank you! After ending the call, she decided to post on Instagram what was going on. Mike thought that was a good idea. That way, they wouldn’t have to call everyone individually. Though, he was going to call Max and let him know of the situation since he had Otis.

Jayde called her therapist as Mike was calling Max. She left a message with the information she had, as the clinic was closed. Could she somehow get her prescription to Tokyo? She was running low and didn’t want to go through withdrawal. The side effects were not pleasant. She asked her to please call her back. Even if she was sleeping or unable to talk to her because of the time difference, she would check her phone regularly while she was awake.

jjrzezdoll: To everyone. Earlier today, Mike and I were supposed to fly back to LA. However, we were told at check out (or he was told, rather) that the Prime Minister of Japan had closed the borders preventing anyone coming in or going out of the country due to a virus that had spread from China. At this time, we are in our hotel suite trying to figure out just what the hell we are going to do. Mike is going to contact our embassy to at least tell them that we’re here if nothing else. We are both frustrated at the lack of information being given to us and our lack of options. I made this post to let everyone know that we are ok and what’s going on. Sincerely, Jayde

She curled up on their bed and wrapped the blanket around her for comfort. Mike came back in after finishing his phone call with Max. He would take care of Otis until he was able to come home. Thank you. When he came in, he got into bed next to her and noticed that she was crying. Baby, what’s wrong? He wrapped her in his arms.

“All the emotions just hit me. I’m scared, I’m frustrated, I’m angry and just completely overwhelmed.”

“So am I. All we can do is wait.”

There was a knock on their door, so he got up and went to see who it was. It was one of the front desk attendants. He told him that they would be bringing up complimentary lunch and later, dinner. Did he or his guest have any food allergies? No, they didn’t. He would pass that information along to the chef after writing it down on his notepad. Mike thanked him for the hotel’s hospitality. He couldn’t imagine how difficult it was for them. The attendant thanked him. If there was anything more they could do, please let them know.

When he got back, he found Jayde going through her phone. Her family and friends had left comments for her and she was trying to answer them as best as she could. He got back into bed and told her about the food. She wiped her tears. Good. He nodded then kissed her forehead. After lunch, she was going to take a bath to calm her anxiety. He thought that was a good idea. Did she want him to join her?

“I’m not in the mood, Michael!”

He laughed. “Sorry, baby. I couldn’t resist!”

“You’re an asshole but that’s why I love you!”

“Thanks!”

He kissed her forehead after she put her phone back down. It was a half later they got their food. Thank you. They brought it to their table and sat down as the attendant left after being tipped. It wasn’t just one thing but a whole meal! Oh my god! Jayde put her hand over her heart. He leaned over and kissed her cheek.

@astrotravelingg @who-can-rock-a-rhyme-like-this @zoeykaytesmom @feelingsofaithless @linkinlocks @chezterb @mundanedraws @brendonandtheurinebottle @wing69wing @chestersflikka @depplyimagines

[jramirezblogs]

111

jjrzezdoll: Michael, you may have some competition! @m_shinoda

A hedgehog café! Who would have thought! Jayde held the tiny animal in her hand as she laughed. It was so cute! She was able to pet it, as it wasn’t showing his spikes. That meant it was calmed and relaxed. She wasn’t a predator but a friend. Mike looked over at her in confusion. He wasn’t having much luck getting a hedgehog. She told him to be patient. He took one of the worms and continued feeding the animal.

Finally, he had gained its trust and was able to hold the animal in the palm of his hand. He brought it close to his chest and it sniffed his shirt before trying to crawl up it. Babe! Jayde turned around. Oh my god! That was adorable! He laughed as he used his free hand to pet the hedgehog.

If she could, she would bring her new friend home with them. Unfortunately, she didn’t want to expose it to a twelve-hour plane ride. Maybe when she got back to Red Bank she could find one to adopt. The hedgehog sniffed her hand as if looking for more food. She used the pliers to feed it. They had paid ¥1,300 for a half-hour and an additional ¥1,500 to give their new friend a treat.

When their half-hour was up, they had to say goodbye and hand them back to the employees. Thank you! That had been a great idea to come! It had been something they had seen online and had decided to try out. The café was in the Harajuku district, so they took a train from one of the stations near their hotel. The front desk attendant had helped them navigate the trains and which one they needed to get on to get there and back.

Since they were in Harajuku, did they want to look in the stores? Yeah! He laughed as he thought she would say that. They walked to the shopping district, which was packed with people and stores! There was so much to see! Some of the stores were brightly decorated, to draw people in after getting their attention.

When he saw the Volcom store, he asked if they could go in. She agreed because he was cute! He laughed and followed her inside. He hadn’t been in one since forever! The last time he could remember was the mid-2000’s! He went to the men’s section while she went to the women’s. She found a romper with a two-inch inseam, front buttons, and pocket for $62. After finding her size, she draped it over her arm. She also scored a flannel on sale for $30.99.

He wanted to get a snowboard, but the question was how he would get it home. It was way too big to be put in the overhead compartments and he didn’t know if he wanted to pay extra to check it with his bags. She told him he could order it online. He decided to do that once he got back to LA. That way, he wouldn’t have to worry about porch pirates stealing it.

Chester wasn’t feeling well, which for him wasn’t uncommon. Rob had him stay home and rest, so he did. What were his symptoms? He complained of a headache, nausea, a sore throat, and being more tired than usual. Rob informed him he was taking him to the doctor the next day, but until then, he wanted him to rest. Before he left, they told each other I love you. Chester pulled the blanket back over his body and tried to go back to sleep.

Where’s Chester? Rob told the guys that he was not feeling well. Was he ok? Yeah, he most likely had the flu. It had started the night before when he complained of a headache. After taking some Advil, he started feeling nauseous and he had thrown up around three in the morning. When he woke up, he was still feeling nauseous. He had also developed a sore throat while being more tired than usual. It was most likely the flu. They agreed. It was Chester. He was always getting sick or breaking a bone. They hoped he would rest and let his body fight off whatever was making him sick.

Brad and Rob returned home to find Chester coming out of the bathroom. How was he feeling? Not good. Did he rest? Yeah, he took a nap. They went to the couch and sat down. He didn’t look good. Chester told them that he had called Talinda about not bringing the kids over. They could probably guess how that went down. They could.

“She called me selfish for getting sick. I told her to go fuck herself. Apparently, she and Michael are getting divorced.”

“Wow! It’s been almost two years”, Brad asked.

“Yeah. What a pussy. He couldn’t last two years.”

“What’s happening with the kids?”

“She’s going to keep them until I feel better.”

Rob got up and told him he was making him soup because he assumed he hadn’t eaten all day. He was correct. Has he thrown up? No, but he still felt nauseous. How was his throat? Did that still hurt? Yeah. Rob went to the kitchen leaving him with Brad. Because of the threat of AIDS, he spoke up about him getting tested when he went to the doctor. Chester agreed to do that. It was in the back of his mind. Good. He patted his back.

Has he heard from Mike or Jayde? No, but she’s been posting pictures on her Instagram. He got his phone from where it was sitting beside him, opened up the app, and went to her account. Brad looked through the pictures. It looked like she and Mike were having a great time! He nodded.

jjrzezdoll: Today Mike and I went to a legit hedgehog café! We paid ¥1,300 for a half-hour, along with ¥1,500 for food for the animals. Mine warmed up to me quickly while Mike’s was a bit more hesitant. He warmed up to him eventually, though! They were so cute! We took a train to Minato-Ku then walked to the café. After our half-hour, we decided to go shopping in the district of Harajuku (think Gwen Stefani). I got this adorable romper and flannel, which Mike has already threatened to steal. After two hours, we arrived back at the hotel and this is the result. I think he shopped until he literally dropped! @m_shinoda

She took pictures of their afternoon out and Mike laying on the floor. Brad laughed at that. It sounds like a fun afternoon! He would pay to play with a hedgehog for a half hour! So would Chester! When the soup was ready, Rob brought it out. Thank you! He placed it on the coffee table in front of him, then sat down on the floor to eat it. They sat down next to him.

jakebongiovi: If you and Romeo get a hedgehog, I’m going to be so jealous! That looks so cool! @jjrzezdoll

jjrzezdoll: MAYBE! I have to research it first but it’s definitely an option! @jakebongiovi

Mike agreed that they should research before committing to getting a hedgehog as a pet. What did it eat? How often did it eat? What did it need? How often did the cage need to be cleaned? What kind of environment did it like? He could see them getting a dog or something. She had mentioned getting a dog to Jon as a therapy animal but he hadn’t wanted to do it. To him, having a dog was too much work. She decided to stop bringing it up.

As they were thinking about where to go for dinner, he got a text from Brad. He and Rob were with Chester, who wasn’t feeling well. Rob was going to bring him to the doctor the next day and he had highly recommended that he was tested! Mike asked to be updated. He promised one of them would.

@astrotravelingg @who-can-rock-a-rhyme-like-this @zoeykaytesmom @feelingsofaithless @linkinlocks @chezterb @mundanedraws @brendonandtheurinebottle @wing69wing @chestersflikka @depplyimagines

[jramirezblogs]

110

I had to rewrite this because it was a little too NSFW lol

Flashback: Romeo was with Jon as Jayde was in the hospital. He had returned home from school to find his father waiting for him. Expecting the worse, he asked where Jayde was. He was told that she had fainted earlier and was in the emergency room. Was she ok? He nodded and told him that she was staying overnight but would come home the following day. The doctor thought she had fainted due to stress. Romeo sighed in relief that she was ok!

He also noted that she looked like she hadn’t been feeling well but was hiding it, so he didn’t worry about her. She had told him that she had a headache but nothing else. Jon told him that her main priority was to protect him. Since it was just them, he asked if he wanted to go out for dinner? Yeah! He laughed and got his jacket before following him outside.

Father/son time. Jon had missed it. They drove to Local Smoke BBQ, where it wasn’t busy. They were seated right away. Romeo ordered a lemonade while Jon was content with water. During dinner, they talked about school, friends, whether he had talked to his brothers, and whatever else they could think of. Romeo mentioned that he had talked to Jake and Jesse over text message. He had told them that he had finally beat the level he had been working on for a few days.

What did they say? They congratulated him. Jesse told him that they were going to have to play the next time he was home. He was excited about beating him! Jon laughed. Because of how close the boys were, he sometimes wondered if he missed his brothers while they were at school. He had a hard time adjusting to Jake being gone because of the things that were happening around the same time.

He could see genuine happiness in him though. The happiness he hadn’t seen in a while. He had Dorothea and Jayde to thank for that! They provided him with a routine and the safety of having a place to fall. Jayde also provided him with the ability to let out his feelings without judgment or consequence. He was going to be sent to his room for being angry or frustrated. instead, he was given a safe place to express himself openly. She had provided that to Jake, as well.

He had rules he had to follow with her. What were they? He had to be in bed before midnight and he had to be done with his homework before video games or playing outside. Did she make him do chores? He had to clean his room and help out with the garbage. If he went out with friends, she also asked him to keep her updated, so she didn’t worry about him.

He liked playing football in the backyard after dinner and after his homework was done. Sometimes she came out and watched him. She didn’t know how to play football and wasn’t athletic, so she stood back. He laughed then mentioned that she had joked about having two left feet.

Present-day: Romeo had a friend over. Jon was watching them through the window of the kitchen as they threw a football around in the yard. He could hear them laughing and having a great time! It was cold outside, so the boys had put on their snow boots and winter jackets. Romeo had taken off his jacket and was playing in the snow with just a sweatshirt on. It was almost seven, so his friend had to be going home soon, as they both had school the next day.

He smiled as he watched the boys. It made him remember watching Romeo tossing the football around with Jake and Jesse. Sometimes Stephanie would join in. It just depended on what she felt like doing. Sometimes he would also go out and join them. How did his kids grow up? Romeo was soon to be 18 and would have to go in front of a judge to declare where he wanted to live.

That made him worried that he would lose his son. He had talked about that in therapy. It was an irrational fear because of course, Romeo was going to stay in his life. As long as he stayed sober. His sobriety wasn’t his main issue. It was his bipolar and the fact that he had delusions. Jayde and Dorothea were good at keeping him from seeing him when he was having an episode. That would potentially scare him and he didn’t blame him!

His therapist recommended that he talked to his son about his desire to continue having him come over. Maybe they could set some rules. Jon thought that was a good idea and he planned on doing it when they were together.

He turned his head when he heard the boys come in through the door, interrupting his thoughts. As he walked over, he heard them saying goodbye to each other. See you tomorrow, dude! Romeo said goodbye then closed the door behind him. He then noticed his dad. How was football? It was good! He hadn’t run around that much since gym class! He laughed.

“When was that?”

“Last semester. I don’t have gym this semester.”

Did he have everything ready to go? Yeah. He then asked if he could talk to him before he went upstairs. Yeah. They sat down in the living room. Jon then expressed that he was wondering what his wishes were for when he turned 18. He would have legal say over who he wanted to live with. Romeo hadn’t really thought about it. He liked the arrangement they had now with him going back and forth between his mom, Jayde, and him. Ok.

“I’m just concerned that you will not want to see me anymore.”

“No, the only reason why I wouldn’t is if you start drinking again. I know that mom and Jayde have been protecting me from your episodes. I don’t know how I feel about seeing that.”

“I understand. I don’t want you to see them because they might scare you. Sometimes I have thoughts in my head that aren’t real and I react to those thoughts as if they were real. That’s one of the reasons why I wanted visitation. I promise I will respect whatever decision you make. I love you and that will never change.”

“I love you too, dad!”

With that, he went up to his room after being excused. Jon hoped that he would choose to stay in his life.

Victoria.Rzeznik: Body image. It’s been over two years since going into treatment for my eating disorder. Even so, I’m still struggling. I have days when I don’t want to eat anything. Sometimes I keep myself busy, just so I don’t have to think about food. I will always be afraid of calories, carbs, sugar, and fat. I can’t think about calories or carbs because I get so obsessed with keeping under a certain number that I start starving myself. It’s easier to deny having a problem with food than it is to confront it. I have a problem with food and most likely will for the rest of my life! At the same time, I’m learning to love my body (namely my butt) and what it can do for me. It’s given birth to two children. It’s a mother and a daughter. It’s a friend.

Mike loved her body. He loved her curves! They were his favorite thing about her physically. He didn’t want her to be skinny because that was not how her body was built to be. She was supposed to be curvy. He loved making love to it and feeling every part of it with his hands and mouth. If he could, he would never leave.

They were laying in bed after spending the afternoon making love in the bathtub and then in bed. The bathtub was becoming one of his favorite places. He loved using the water to touch her. The water also made it easier for her to move on to him. She had swum over to him and he had placed her on his lap. Because she was willing to try almost anything at least once, he didn’t have to worry about suggesting anything. The only boundaries they had were nothing illegal or involving pain or food.

She was willing to be blindfolded and tied up. He mentioned involving Chester and Rob. A foursome? Maybe not at the same time. She could do a threesome but she was hesitant about a foursome. Ok, he could respect that. She loved being touched, though. One thing she would not do was anything oral because she didn’t want that in her mouth! He laughed.

What did she and Jon do? She loved his body while he loved hers. It was 50/50. He had experienced that when they were together. Since he wanted to become a better partner and lover for her, he was grateful to learn what she liked and what she didn’t. When they got back to LA, they agreed to set up something with Chester and Rob. Maybe they could have sex at the same time, then switch. She would think about it! He laughed. Ok.

He kissed her then remembered the ring, so he told her to wait there. After getting his boxers back on, he went over to his suitcase and pulled out the box. He brought it over and sat down beside her on the bed. She sat up with the bedsheet covering her chest. What’s going on? He opened the box and presented the ring. Oh my god!

“I wanted to give this to you yesterday when we got here but we were just too tired! Baby, I love you and the past ten years have been amazing! I have never met anyone as selfless, open-hearted, open-minded, resilient, and annoying as you! I bought this ring to represent that no matter what, I will always be there for you! You changed my life by being my best friend and the mother of my son. There will never be a day when I am not grateful for you and my decision to see you as more than my best friend. Will you officially be my girlfriend?”

“Yes!”

He slid the ring on her finger. She pulled him in and kissed him, making them both laugh. What did she think? It was beautiful! Thank you! He kissed her cheek. She deserved it!

@astrotravelingg @who-can-rock-a-rhyme-like-this @zoeykaytesmom @feelingsofaithless @linkinlocks @chezterb @mundanedraws @brendonandtheurinebottle @wing69wing @chestersflikka @depplyimagines

[jramirezblogs]

109

Jayde and Mike had landed at the airport in Tokyo after a very long twelve-hour flight! Their day had started at around nine-thirty. It was now almost ten and they still had to get their bags, board the shuttle and check into their hotel. She rested her head on his shoulder as they waited for their bags. Was she tired? She nodded. Yeah. Should they go straight to bed or eat something first? It didn’t matter to him. Through a yawn, she asked if they could have something first.

He told her they could do that! As they were checking in, she noticed a sign in English and Japanese with the different restaurants and the times they were open. The bar was open, as was room service. Babe. She turned back to attention at the sound of Mike’s voice. Yeah. She needed to sign for her card. He laughed as he knew she had drifted off.

After dropping off their stuff in the suite, they went down to the bar for a late-night appetizer. She looked like shit but she didn’t care. Her hair was messy and her clothes looked like they had been slept in. Why change when she was going to go straight to bed anyway? He agreed.

While they ate, they talked about staying at the hotel for the following day and sleeping in. They had two weeks to see the city and because it took him a day to adjust, he was going to need a day to catch up on sleep. Maybe while he was napping, she could go down to the spa for a facial or whatever they had. That sounded very relaxing, though he never had a facial before.

She asked him about tipping. He shook his head then explained the Japanese were a proud people, who took pride in their work. To them, tipping was considered rude. Instead, she could either bow or shake their hand as a way of thanking them for their service. Ok, she hadn’t known that. Because they were from America, they were used to tipping as it was their way of thanking someone for their service. However, the Japanese had their customs.

He also told her that they loved sharing their culture and wouldn’t mind if she bought a Kimono or other traditional Japanese clothes. She stated that she didn’t believe in cultural appropriation anyway unless it was dressing up as another culture to do something racist. That was not something she believed in. He agreed.

She watched how he paid their tab. Instead of handing the money to the bartender, it was placed on a tray. When the tray returned to him, it had his change and receipt. He took that change and put it in his wallet. They both got up and thanked the bartender. He bowed his head to them and they did the same back. It was close to eleven and time to get ready for bed! Even though she had been exhausted before, she was now wide awake! He told her that it would probably hit her once she was in bed.

He had planned on given her the ring but he was just too tired! It would have to wait until they were both rested. Once they were in their suite, they went straight to their suitcases and got their pajamas. She went into the bathroom to change clothes while he changed clothes in the bedroom. He heard the water turn on and assumed she was taking a shower to calm herself down before bed. That was confirmed when he asked her when she came out. She stated that she had while grabbing her toothbrush and toothpaste. He grabbed his supplies and followed her in.

Midnight. They were finally in bed! What a very long day it had been! Now they could spend two weeks exploring the city while falling in love with each other.

He woke up around nine and found her still asleep. Since she had taken a shower the previous night, he decided to take one while she slept. He grabbed a change of clothes and brought them into the bathroom with him. After closing and locking the door, he started the water then got undressed. The water heated up quickly and he had to adjust the dials before he burned himself. Once the water was perfect, he got in.

Jayde woke up as he was coming out. They said good morning to each other. How did she sleep? Like an angel! He laughed and sat beside her. She had fallen asleep before him. He had been on his phone checking his social media, answering text messages and emails. The last time he looked at the clock, it was four-thirty in the morning. He had fallen asleep shortly after that. Would he need a nap later? Yeah, he would. He was looking forward to it.

She was going through the amenities catalog to see what the hotel had to offer when he came over. What was she thinking? She was interested in the hot tub in the fitness center. They also had a pool. She could do that while he worked out the gym. That sounded great! Since it was between breakfast and lunch, they would have to wait to eat unless they wanted to see what restaurants were nearby.

He got his phone and looked to see what was nearby. Nothing, unless they wanted to eat at one of the restaurants in the hotel. That would mean waiting until eleven-thirty. She could wait. Ok. He got his gym clothes while she got her swimsuit.

The water felt great in her skin! It was the perfect temperature! She sat down and the water almost came up to her shoulders. The pool was empty as was the hot tub. She could swim around if she wanted to but she was content with just sitting still and letting the warm water surround her. This was what relaxation was all about! She closed her eyes and laid back enjoying the water and being alone until she heard people coming in. It looked like two staff members from the hotel.

They gave her a polite smile, so she smiled politely back before they went on their way. She didn’t think anything of it. They were probably maintenance workers or people who worked at the gym and they probably hadn’t expected anyone to be in there. Oh well. It was their hotel. She was just visiting.

Mike worked on the machines. There were other guys in there working out, so they took turns with the equipment. He had got dressed in the locker room in a t-shirt and shorts. The other guys spoke to him in Japanese, to which he replied. American? He nodded and stated that he was, though his great grandparents were from Japan. The language had been passed down through his family. That was how he became fluent.

“Amerika no doko kara kimashita ka?”

“Kariforunia-shū agūrahiruzu no shusshindesu. Rosanzerusu kōgai no kōgaidesu.”

“Rosanzerusu! Eiga sutā!”

He laughed. “Hai, eiga sutā ga imasu! Watashi wa koko ni gārufurendo to 2-shūkan hōmon shite imasu. Kanojo o an'nai shitakatta.”

After finishing his workout, he went back to the lockers to change. It had been at least an hour and he jokingly hoped Jayde hadn’t turned into a raisin. When he found her, she had come out of the hot tub and had wrapped a towel around herself. How was the hot tub? Wonderful! He laughed and asked her if she was hungry. Yes, her stomach had fully woken up and it was empty! He told her to get dressed. They could bring their wet clothes back to their room and then come back down. Ok. She then went to the locker rooms.

@astrotravelingg @who-can-rock-a-rhyme-like-this @zoeykaytesmom @feelingsofaithless @linkinlocks @chezterb @mundanedraws @brendonandtheurinebottle @wing69wing @chestersflikka @depplyimagines