joysandroses

[joysandroses]

crazy, how daal chawal every day used to feel like such a bore and we used to hate it but now most of us consider it our comfort food.

[joysandroses]

oh, the urge to have my own dead poets society.

[joysandroses]

"Beautiful Losers", Leonard Cohen

[joysandroses]

my sign to take care of myself and not just rot in bed all day?

Leila Chatti, from “Tea”

[joysandroses]

me and my persona #2 have that kind of bond 😈

“Imagine being with someone where it’s safe enough to just talk for hours about your fears and the things you’re ashamed of … Imagine …”

— Unknown

[joysandroses]

my, my playlist, playlists i stole, some unidentified pain, and myself.

[joysandroses]

pieces

I can only hold on tight and hope that my piece means something, too.

[joysandroses]

again (/□＼*)

I FORGOT TUMBLR EXISTS

[joysandroses]

in some another universe the other is me is probably rizzing up a hot and smart nerdy dominant dude with clear goals and overflowing love that radiates only towards me

oh and he probably wears glasses and looks hot and has a good body too, like the one's in your average anime/book/kdrama cliches

[joysandroses]

LMAOOOOO I'm back im back

(or am i 😝).....

stay tuned until the next episode 🗿

I FORGOT TUMBLR EXISTS

[joysandroses]

I FORGOT TUMBLR EXISTS

[joysandroses]

"HEY! how's it going?" It's going, and I'd very much like it to stop going

[joysandroses]

"ass or tits" the pre-teen days when I used to play all day and watch mermaids caught on camera(real) on YouTube

[joysandroses]

Am i a hopeless romantic or just have an anxious avoidant (disorganised) attachment style sprinkled generously with fear of abandonment and attachment issues?

guess we'll never know 🤪

[joysandroses]

I wish that you would just hug me and call me beautiful and tell me that there is nothing in my heart that needs to be healed. That i am not an abomination, that i am not unnatural, that i am not detestable. That my flames are not from hell, but are from the passions of your heart. That my heart fires are from your heart fires

[joysandroses]

5 minutes is more like it

[joysandroses]

everywhere i go, everything i see and do, it all comes back to these three 4-letter words: hope, home, love. all synonyms for your name. how do i unlearn this strange vocabulary now that i have run away from the home i burned down to ashes with my own hands? how have i turned gentle love into such devastation? such greediness? But then, if it was meant to be, if we were meant to last, it'd have felt enough right? you were a dream, then a reality, now a memory. the kind of memory that pulls me down and chokes my breath and paints me blue on public transport, by the window on a quiet morning, on my bed while staring at the ceiling, by the kitchen sink. but also the kind of memory that fills me with warmth (from the fire i set to my eulogies) and my ears with the sound of your voice whenever i see a rose (full of thorns). i foolishly allowed my heart to beat to the rhythm of yours, and now i can no longer count the space between my heartbeats without being flooded by the memories of us. do you ever think of me when you look at fallen leaves? do you get the urge to step on them, the way i used to? i can't eat my favourite chocolate without thinking of all the wrappers of the ones you gifted me, stacked up in my box labelled 'tokens of love'. everything brown reminds me of your eyes.

still. still i can't make myself hate you to make letting go easier. i've always held onto things, even when they made my hands bleed. my fingers bleed blue from the love i hold all the time. i don't know where to put it anymore. (all i do is bleed, all you see is words)