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[josshucng]

farrah--messer‌:

“Or you could stay and we could talk a little. But that’s entirely up to you.” Farrah was in the mood for company and they didn’t know each other which proved to be interesting. “My name is Farrah,” she confirmed confidently, holding her hand out for the girl to shake it. “Do you go to high school in town? Or college?” 

“sure ,  of  course !”  it  was  honestly  refreshing  for  the  older  girl  to  want  to  spend  time  with  her,  for  anyone  to  want  to  spend  time  with  her  as  she  was  an  acquired  taste .  “farrah ,  hi  ,  i’m  joss ,  one  of  the  townsend’s  foster  kids  so  relatively  new  to  these  parts.  i’m  in  high  school ,  yeah .  it’s  okay ,  i  guess .”  for  once ,  she  was  being  relatively  quiet  about  it  as  she  didn’t  feel  like  going  into  it.  “  what  about  yourself  ?”

[josshucng]

goldblcd‌:

     𝐀  𝐒𝐎𝐋𝐄  𝐄𝐘𝐄𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐖  𝐐𝐔𝐈𝐑𝐊𝐒  𝐔𝐏 ,  a  smile  (  and  attitude  )  undeterred  by  the  gratuitous  correction .  ❛  isn’t  that  what  i  just  said ?  ❜  he  can’t  get  anything  else ,  though ,  because  the  girl  is  rambling  about  rooms  and  families  and  watercolors .  it’s  her  luck ,  really ,  that  leo’s  mind  always  seems  to  be  moving  at  high  speed  and  processing  the  ramble  takes  no  more  energy  than  ignoring  his  ap  calculus  teacher  going  over  the  same  thing  for  the  fifth  time  because  some  kid  who  shouldn’t  be  in  that  class  can’t  grasp  taylor  series .  ❛  sound  like  it  was  a  miracle  you  got  out  of  there ?  ⏤  if  you  ever  sell  the  piece  remember  who  gave  you  the  brilliant  idea .  ❜ 

to  argue  with  him  would  get  her  nowhere  so  she  simply  nodded  in  reply .  “  i  guess so.”  giving  a  reaffirmed  nod  towards  him,  jocelyn  raised  her  eyebrows.  she  was  unable  to  tell  whether  he  was  actually  listening  but  she  proceeded  to  carry  on  anyway.  “ i  know  my  way  around  so  it’s  easy  for  me  to  navigate.  probably  should  sort  it  out  before  someone  drowns  in  my  crap  though .  who  knew  i  would  have  so  much  tat  with  all  the  moving  around .  i’ve  truly  made  it  in  life ! ”  joss  knew  that  taking  what  wasn’t  her’s  was  wrong  but  she  could  never  pluck  up  the  courage  to  ask  the  townsends’  knowing  that  they  had  given  so  much  to  her  already ,  especially  when  asking  would  come  from  a  place  of  insecurity  in  their  home.

[josshucng]

kayleightownsend‌:

kayleigh was just running a few errands before she went home to make dinner for the gang, however, like most trips out for errands - the blonde got distracted. that’s why she ended up in the café, even though she was definitely supposed to be picking up some dry cleaning and not picking up donuts to surprise the full townsend house. as soon as she stepped inside the cafe, her eyes fell to joss, “hey sweetie!” she smiled, looking down to the torn napkin she’d been drawing on. “trying out new mediums?” she asked with a chuckle.

peering  up  at  the  sound  of  the familiar  voice ,  the  girl  hummed  slightly .  she  was  glad  that  the  townends  had  chosen  her ,  that  they  had  liked  her  art  and  personality  but  she  couldn’t  help  but  be  wary ;  jocelyn  would  always  have  doubts  that  were  based  on  past  experiences .  as  she  became  more  settled ,  her  insecurities  seemed  to  heighten  and  she  knew  that  they  were  going  to  get  her  into  bother .  “ - oh ,  hey - ”  what  was  the  right  way  to  address  the  woman ?  she  still  didn’t  know .  “ i  was  just  doodling  then  it  kinda  looked  like  the  man  opposite  so  i  tried  my  best  but - ”  wafting  the  paper  up  in  the  air ,  joss  wrinkled  her  nose .  “ - it  ripped  and  didn’t  look that  great  anyway .  i’m  in  this  mess  because  my  room’s  a  mess. ”  that  part  was  accurate .  “ i  seem  to  have  misplaced  my  sketch  pad  but  it’ll  turn  up ,  things  always  do . ”  many  years  had  passed  since  the  death  of  her  mother  but  she  knew  that  she  was  still  with  her  ,  guiding  her  through  the  mess  that  was  her  room .  “ i’ll  tidy  it  up  right  away  ,  i  promise ! ”

[josshucng]

kingcfanything‌:

“What’ca you doing kid?” Nick could notice from a mile away that the other was upset about something. Maybe it was because he had kids, but it could have just been that the other did say it out loud. Glancing down to the napkin, he saw a drawing of another person and it was pretty good. “Did you draw that? It is very good if I say so myself. If I tried to draw anything it would look like shit.”

joss  was  her  own  worst  enemy  in  multiple  situations ,  especially  when  she  would  beat  herself  down  because  of  minute  issues .  the  girl  was  odd ,  big  things  didn’t  seem  to  shake  her  but  the  little  things  made  her  freak.  “ you’re  polite  if  you  think  that  this  is  good . ”  she  chuckled .  “ plus ,  i  keep  ripping  it  as  it’s  not  very  thick .  i  guess  i  have  a  frantic  hand .  lots  of  ideas ,  not  enough  time . ”  that’s  what  her  teachers  always  used  to  say  and  it  had  become  somewhat  of  a  routine . she  wasn’t  a  bad  kid ,  she  just  had  difficulty  voicing  how  she  actually  felt  and  denying  that  there  were  any  issues .  the  coffee  next  to  her ,  it  was  paid  with  stolen  money ,  her  family’s  money  that  she  had  taken  as  she  felt  unable  to  ask .  did  they  know  about  her  history ?  they  must  have  told  them ... “ i  can  draw  you , if  you  like  but  it’s  gonna  cost ya ! “  joss  was  teasing ,  at  first ,  but  then  she  thought  that  she  could  do  with  the  money .  “  have  to  be  quick  though ,  got  to  get  home  . ”

[josshucng]

xreachfortheskylarx‌

“If it makes you feel less idiotic, I saw someone standing in front of a door earlier for ten minutes waiting for it to open, before they got the hint that it wasn’t automatic.” She provided, the tone almost bored. It had taken everything in her at the time not to call the other an idiot to their face, but she’d happily do it now behind their back. “Can’t you just draw someone from a photo of them? It seems like it’d be a lot easier.” 

it  didn’t  take  two  moments  for  joss’  eyebrows  to  raise  in  both  disbelief  and  amusement . “ you  can’t  be  serious . ” her  deadpan  was  interrupted  by  her  own  laughter  shortly  after . “ how !? and  just  when  i  think  i’m  starting  to  understand  other  people .  however ,  i  walked  into  a  glass  door  once  while  talking  to  a  friend ,  they  found  it  hilarious  but  my  pride  was  definitely  hurt .  it  was  one  for  the  comedy  reel ,  i swear . ”  laughing  at  herself  was  always  best  as  defensive  attitude  lead  to  much  bigger  problems  than  an  embarrassing  moment .  wrinkling  her  nose  ,  jocelyn  cocked  her  head  to  the  side .  “  i  feel  like  it’s  more  creepy  to  do  that  .  i  like  the  pressure ,  definitely  a  challenge . ”

[josshucng]

farrah--messer‌:

“I wouldn’t say that.” Farrah said to her right, catching the comment made as she had been staring, watching the girl draw since she sat down earlier. Taking a moment to sip at her cappuccino, she sat it down on the table before propping a leg over the other as she leaned back to relax in her seat. “I don’t think you’re an idiot. Clearly too hard on yourself but not an idiot.” 

“  you’re  very  kind . ”  it  was  always  easier  to  see  the  best  in  people .  however ,  her  attitude  didn’t  roster  many  friends  at  school  as  she  was  having  trouble  with  some  of  her  peers .  “ you’re  probably  right  but  i  guess  i’ve  had  to  be  hard  on  myself  throughout  the  years .  still  ,  can  always  try  again .”  joss  was  quick  to  pull  a  smile  after  going  into  a  slight  trance . “ i  should  probably  finish  my  now  cold  drink  and  go  .  wouldn’t  want  to  worry  anyone .  who  says  a  latte  can’t  be  drunk  cold ?  definitely  not  getting  to  sleep  tonight ... ”  joss  jested.

[josshucng]

itsmilcs‌:

      completely lost in his phone for a while, miles couldn’t really tell how long he’d been scrolling down his instagram feed so he didn’t even notice as she seemed to sketch him until he looked across at her. “you know, you would have failed to draw me anyways. way too unique features and all,” he said, with a teasing grin on his lips once he got a peak at the artwork she’d been so focused on. 

her  eyes  narrowed  towards  him  with  his  passing  comment .  “  someone’s  a  little  narcissistic .”  the  joke  had  passed  her  and  she  didn’t  expect  anything  less from  a  child  of  a  star .  however ,  she  did  look  at  him  inquisitively ,  wondering  what  his  life  must  have  been  like  in  los  angeles  compared  to  what  her’s  had  been  like .  she  was  never  ungrateful  for  her  experiences  but  there  had  been  some  upsetting  moments  that  she  would  rather  she  not  return  to .  letting  out  a  deep  sigh ,  the  girl  slouched  down ,  defeated .  “ guess i  have  myself  to  blame .  my  room  is  an  absolute  tip  and  i  couldn’t  for  the  life  of  me  find  my  sketch  book  this  morning ...  next  time  ,  though . ”  a  meek  smile  displayed  itself  on  her  face .

[josshucng]

johndler‌:

he wouldn’t have normally struggled to sit still, but once it was required of him it was suddenly difficult. he watched on as she sketched his features, reflexively tilting his head. does my nose really look like that? her eyes were back on him, and he saw the disappointment on her face as she realized he had moved. “sorry,” he muttered. at least he felt comfortable enough to relax into his chair now. “it’s better than i could’ve done.”

“  it’s  fine . ”  joss  was  quick  on  her  feet  to  assure   him .  “  it  was  me  that  messed  it  up  but  thank  you  so  much   for  letting  me  try  to  do  you  justice . ” picking  up  the  paper ,  josee  held  it  out  to  him .  “ for  you . ”  a  gentle  smile   bestowed  her  face .  she  wasn’t  going  to  keep  it  ,  she  didn’t feel  like  it  was  up  to  her  standards  but  a  part  of  her   hoped  that  the  other  would  like  it ;  even  if  he  took  it  now and  threw  it  away ,  she’d  be  happy  that  he  at  least  gave   it  a  look .  taking  the  mug  with  her  other  hand ,  she  downed   the  remained  of  her  coffee  but  grimaced  while  doing  so .  “ so cold ! ”

[josshucng]

goldblcd‌:

     𝐈𝐓  𝐖𝐀𝐒𝐍'𝐓  𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐘  𝐀𝐒  𝐌𝐔𝐂𝐇  as  it  was  boredom  ⏤  how  long  did  it  take  to  order  a  coffee ?  ⏤  that  made  his  eyes  search  for  something ,  anything ,  to  place  his  attention .  ❛  i  don’t  know ,  throw  a  few  more  random   lines  and call  it  a  pollack ,  ❜  he  mused ,  brow  raised  and  hazel  hues  still  on  the  half-finished  sketch  as if  it  needed  the  criticism . it  truly  had  been  a  slow  day  if  watching  some  girl’s  pseudo-drawing  session  was  the  best  he  could  do  for  temporary  entertainment .  ❛  he  wasn’t  the  best  model  anyway .  you  can  do  better .  ❜

“ do  you  mean  a  pollock  ? ”  the  correction  just  slipped  out  automatically  without  even  so  much  as  a  thought .  she  instantly  felt  guilty ;  this  was  the  reason  why  she  didn’t  have  many  friends  and  her  class  mates  had  taken  a  disliking  to  her .  “  but  yes  ,  i  shippose  i  could  make  it  into  something  abstract ,  perhaps  make  him  a  ghosty  figure  and  add  some  water  color  once  i  get  home ,  if  i  can  find  them ... my  room  is  such  a  mess .  don’t  think  anyone  in  my  family  would  go  in  there  and  come  out  alive  if  i’m  being  perfectly  honest  with  you .  it’d  be  like  the  maze  from  the  shining ,  every  man  for  himself . ”  she  chuckled  at  herself .  joss  was  a  little  much  at  times  but  was  always  up  for  a  joke  that  she  could  understand . ”

[josshucng]

steadyglows‌:

did everyone in this town but her draw? this kid was like, the fifth person she’s seen this week scribbling on paper. somebody is going to end up on ite moma or whatever the hell it’s called one of these days.  an eyebrow raises at the girls words ; just a bit confused as to what she was so upset about. “take it something didn’t work out?” then, her gaze moves down to the napkin that the ink was on. “lemme see.”

“i  don’t  think  that  napkins  are  a  great  media  for  art  but  i  guess  it  doesn’t  hurt  to  try ,  just  makes  someone  very  frustrated .”  shaking  her  head ,  joss  chuckled  again . she  loved  art ,  it  had  helped  her  so  much  when  she  was  younger  but  she  had  become  obsessed  with  it ;  everything  to  do  with  storytelling  was  her  calling . covering  it  with  her  hands  before  sliding  it  towards  her  and  staching  it  in  her  backpack  . “ i’m  not  one  to  be  shy  about  it ,  i  promise .  it’s  a  lost  cause  if  you  ask  me .”  the  girl  was  far  too  honest  for  the  most  part  of  her  life.

[josshucng]

       joss  was  trying  to  stetch  the  other  as  accurately  as  possible  onto  a  paper  napkin  but  as  it  kept  tearing  if  she  went  too  fast  with  her  pen,  she  wasn’t  having  much  luck.  it  did  dawn  on  her  that  she  had  to  go  back  to  the  townsends’  at  some  point,  just  not  yet.  she  was  rather  free-spirited  and  saw  this  time  as  a  chance  to  relax  but  also  challenge  herself.  a  sigh  left  her  after  she  had  looked  up  and  realised  that  they  had  moved.  “great.  now  i  look  like  an  idiot  with  nothing  to  show  for  it.”  she  couldn’t  help  but  chuckle  to  herself.

[josshucng]

it’s  elle  with  another  muse  ,  jocelyn  .  please  excuse  her  theme  right  now  ,  i’ll  have  more  time  later  to  make  it  look  pretty  ( same  with  mina’s  blog  tbh ).

    [ MUSE 89 ] ●● is that SONG YUQI? no, that’s just JOCELYN ‘JOSS’ HUANG, the 16 year old CISFEMALE who is a HIGH SCHOOL JUNIOR. some say they’re DEFEATIST & SECRETIVE, but their family and friends will swear they’re COMPASSIONATE & ECCENTRIC. when i think of them, i think of wild wavy hair, bright colored blouses, oversized sweaters that keep you warm and safe in a cold winter, make up products falling off her vanity and constant typos in text messages. i wonder if HER family knows that SHE’S BEEN STEALING MONEY FROM THEM. ●● ( elle && 21 && gmt && she/her )

jocelyn was born to a chinese immigrant single mother in washington. she never had much but the woman made sure to do everything in her power to provide for her daughter. being a single mother alone in a foreign country was difficult and frightening but the woman knew it was the best thing for her daughter.

a lot of babysitters in their teens would watch her whilst her mother went to work. it was in these times that she picked up a little basic english. she was only young but would find herself speaking back to them. her mother spoke mandarin to her so this is the first language she learned. she didn’t have much need to actually understand people who spoke english when she was younger but would need it as time went on.

everything changed when she was six and her mother wasn’t breathing one morning. no matter how hard she tried to wake her up, the woman wouldn’t and this frightened her. she remembered to call the ambulance and was pronounced dead. her mother had a heart attack in her sleep so she had died during the night. jocelyn kept asking when she was going to wake up but she would soon learn that never was the answer. however, she likes to think that the woman is still with her.

going into the foster system at six was hard. she was still at the age where people would want to adopt her but she thought it was very strange. as a child, she would often tell prospective parents that her mother was coming to see her and she once refused to go on a day out with a couple because she felt like she was betraying her mother. the carers were concerned so took her to a therapist once but didn’t have the funding to keep it up.

joss was one of those children that lived in her own head a lot. the girl had an amazing imagination, one that ran away with her sometimes and she also loved to paint. the staff were so kind to let her paint freely on the wall on her bottom bunk. whenever it got full, she could just decide what she didn’t like and painted over it to start again. sometimes she wouldn’t be able to decide so did drawings and then stuck them up on the paintings to create more layers.

this kept her as happy as could be but backfired on her when she was fostered by a family and ended up drawing on their walls. disgusted with her, they turned aggressive and brought her back to the group home.

as time went on, she longed to be with a family more and more but they would always bring her back. she never tried to be something she wasn’t. she was creative, loud as she always wanted to put on a show of one of the stories she had written but adults were either not interested or the rest of the children in the house would bully her for it.

she had to learn to stand on her own two feet. instead of crumbling, she took a leadership role in the home and was the figure that the younger children would come to. joss was always one to tell a good story and it made them love her. it caused her to grow up in a way as the young ones depended on her to raise their spirits but they also raised hers.

it was very upsetting for her when they would get fostered or adopted. some would unfortunately come back but some, she never saw again. she was happy for them but slightly jealous as she thought that she had run out of chances.

she had been placed with another family but felt like she was only going to disappoint them; she started taking any loose cash around the house and storing it in a box in her backpack, making sure to distribute it to her school locker. joss could see it not working and she wanted to save so that she could get out of there. her foster father caught her stealing ten dollars out of his son’s jeans and it got physical. she picked up her bag and ran, thanking herself that she had done it as she would have been out of money.

it lasted her two days until she ran out and a kind woman picked her up from off the street and gave her a nice meal. the care workers came to pick her up. of course it was twisted but she definitely didn’t want to go back there.

she always tried really hard at school to better herself but it was very difficult for her to get help if she was unsure with so many other kids in her house. she was defeatist as she felt like she was at a disadvantage. she’s the type to frequently give up but pick herself up and try again.

after the mess of her previous home, she never thought that she’d find a home, a family. however, the townsends’ were taken in by her big heart and expressive presence that they couldn’t resist. she settled in rather well with them and no one ever tried to hurt her.

the move to ashcroft definitely upset her version of normalcy. in her experience, bad things would happen when they moved and she really hoped that this wouldn’t be a negative experience for her.

joss was never the most popular person at any of the schools she had ever gone to. she never had time to get friendships and the other children did think her outlook was a little odd. she seems all airy-fairy most of the time, spending too much time in her art and not caring what others think of her. however, there’s definitely a backlash as some have started picking on her for being ‘different’ ;  she prefers to live in her fantasy land than experience anything unpleasant. 

having these situations at school has caused her to feel more insecure about her place within the family. she knows that the two women love her and she’s so grateful but her past experiences make her feel like they can turn their backs on her at any point. she was never one for stealing but things changed her view on it at the old foster home; if she hadn’t have had that money, she didn’t know what she would have done.

the thing about joss is that she will never feel comfortable asking for money as it is, so she has started to take money again from her family. whether it’s to get a new shirt that people will find interesting at work, money to get an ice cream outside of school when they’re on sale, there will always be the possibility of them turning on her at the back of her head and this is her main motivation.

if she does something wrong, she automatically assumes that she will have no second chances and so gives up on the subject. if that were to happen with her family, she would be completely alone again and this time, they would not put her back in care as she’s over the age of 16. she would be by herself and needs money if she’s going to do that.

of course, she feels the sense of guilt that she didn’t with the other family; the townsends’ are good people and the other kids are like her, the ones that were given a very last chance; she doesn’t want to hurt them. however, there’s something inside her that tells her to be wary and this is her taking precautions.

joss is very loyal, if you do befriend her at school, she will love you to the ends of the earth. yes, she’s clingy like that but an amazing friend to have. she has no problems sticking up for people as she’s had no one up until now in her corner ready to fight for her and she doesn’t want anyone to feel like that.

she wears a moon charm necklace around her neck that was her mother’s and this is her most prized possession. if she misplaces it somewhere, expect a full on freak out from her.

she’s in the drama club, choir (an alto) and is still very passionate about the arts in general. joss has always felt at home being her creative side, even if it does make her a little rebellious at times but she’s never out to hurt anyone.

as joss has been on her own for so long, she can get very defensive so be prepared for that if someone criticises her.

when something is wrong, she’s one to carry on like nothing’s happened and reverts back to her very ‘happy’ personality. she would prefer that than break down and people feel sorry for her. she keeps secrets but doesn’t feel like they’re worth mentioning.

deep down, she knows that her stealing habits come from a place of insecurity but doesn’t want to admit it because she’s scared of it getting ugly... she loves her family as much as she loves her art and she’s scared that they won’t want anything more to do with her.

[josshucng]

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