jingleshoes

[jingleshoes]

”that’s probably the afterlife buddy, heaven for me, and hell for you.”

“But we come as a pair >:0”

[jingleshoes]

[jingleshoes]

Hmm… I think you stinks 🤔

[jingleshoes]

yall my anxiety is so bad i neeeeeeed to see a doctor i am like- ughGHUGIRIGUHRII :( i ned to calm down but its so hard

[jingleshoes]

im real board tbh i put my fan fic on hiatus cause school is so busy ALREADY and i feel gulty but idk where its going anyway so- hhhh i doubt anyones interested in finishing it anyway :(

RAGH RAGH RAGH RAGH oh btw my birthday passed so thats cute-

[jingleshoes]

responded to a cilantro hate post and now im interested in how it tastes in non-Hispanic foods / by itself....should i eat raw cilantro ?..

[jingleshoes]

the last post on www.ihatecilantro.com was in 2012, and i think thats absolutely wild, glad to know everyone came to their senses and stopped hating cilantro.

[jingleshoes]

ABSOLUTELY DEVASTATING A 90 MINUTE FILM ISNT ENOUGH NOOO NO NO NO NO I WAS SO READY FOR ANOTHER SEASON OUR GRAND FINALE THIS MOVIE IS BARLEY THE SAME LENGTH AS A SINGULAR EPISODE :(((( i was hoping for a three hour theatrical release at the very least… heart broken…

[jingleshoes]

When you turn 18, you go to the Chapel to summon a Familiar, then your future is decided based on its shape. All you can do is name the creature and then the summoning does the rest. After you name it, the priestesses all stare at you with horror in their eyes, then scream when it appears.

[jingleshoes]

NO CAUSE I DO THIS ALL THE TIME WITH MY OC LEWIS FUCKING TARTEL CAUSE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH BUT THEN ITS LIKE WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU BRO WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE THAT-

do u ever just

[jingleshoes]

might start doing this tbh this eats

recently when im tempted to say 'i'm gonna kill myself' i try to correct it into saying "im gonna walk into the river and become a trout" or some other form of that. this is my new thing

[jingleshoes]

i tried doing this and it didnt work :( imma cry...idk how to get java on this ding dang laptop

I PUT THEM INTO A COMPUTER

A few months ago I started making these shimeji because I didnt find any already existing ones on the internet. Then I forgot about them for a while. BUT after listening to TMP I decided that it would be funny to finally finish them so BEHOLD. THEY ARE IN A PUTER NOW >:D

If you wanna try them you can download here on google drive

(If you don’t know how to use them, there is a small tutorial in comments)

[jingleshoes]

I love this post cause I’m just- - I love this so much

It’s always “evil Superman!!!!” this, or “villain justice league!!!” that.

I want an AU of villain! Bruce who’s absolutely dog-shit at being evil.

Firstly: The worst thing he can think of doing is not donating to animal shelters or charities . immediately feels so guilty he throws up.

Secondly: The second a child cries because of him, he’d freeze up. Stand like a statue, unmoving and petrified. No more evil, but just today.

He ends up helping the city by accident more often than not, and to his immortal disappointment, Gotham loves both the Bat and Bruce Wayne.

“alfred come look at my evil plan”

“Yes, sir, “ Alfred is very indulgent. He does his best to pretend it’s actually good. “ ‘Don’t say please to the barista’. Getting bold, are we?”

EVERYTIME He and Clark meet and Bruce monologues about pulverizing him to dust, Clark (and the League) looks at him like this:

“I can make him worse,” GOOD FOR YOU!!! Clark can make him into his malewife and adopt his 7 evil sidekicks who actually know how to villain. Especially the little one.

[jingleshoes]

Ohhh to be a bird … ignorant of life’s anxieties…and enjoying the taste of bugs and worms

[jingleshoes]

me to Jonathan Sims.... god...i never should have listened to that damn podcast...

[jingleshoes]

I need this as a comic- I need it yesterday - it’s late- PLEASE…I could make that - I totally could…

It would’ve been really awkward if Jon had just kept running into former Statement givers in public. Like, imagine you’ve spent months dealing with some fucked up eye creature haunting your nightmares to feast upon your fear, but then you spot him at Tesco as he’s pulling out a calculator to figure out which loaf of bread (on sale!) offers the most bread per pound (🍞/£). How would you cope with that?

[jingleshoes]

~~Blinked Out~~

Chapter two

SPOILER ALERT FOR ANYONE WHO HASNT FINISHED TMA OR SEASON 1 OF TMP

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alice and Sam had had picked up Jon , Alice holding him by the arms and Sam picking up his legs so they could lock him in a closet, a place full of boxes and boxes of old filed away cases and Manilla folders "c'mon Sam stop dropping his legs-"Alice said as she tried to hike Jon up and get a better hold on him "he is much heavier then he looks! I am doing my best!" Sam snapped back, earning an eye roll from Alice, understandably so, as she was carrying the heavier side of Jon "Why on earth are we even putting him in a old closet?" Sam asked as he finally got a good hold on Jon's legs

"Because Sam we don't know who or what he is- he says he's a man who has apparently been dead for years, and if we leave him just around he will get kicked out and I'm pretty sure whatever- weird- monster thing he is shouldn't be around big cell towers so- ZIP!" Alice whisper yelled to Sam in her frustration and struggled to open the door to the closet but once it was open they tossed Jon into the closet.

once thrown into the closet Jon hit a shelf and a few files fell on him , the combination of both things, along with the sound of the door slamming shut, woke Jon up immediately, and upon seeing this through the window of the door Alice used a nearby chair to lock it shut "wait!- damn it-"Jon said and Sam looked through the window "where am i?- I- I should be dead- where's...where's martin?" He asked himself as he sat up and looked at the files that had fallen on him and then around...maybe he will show up? yeah...maybe...Jon sat back and looked at the case files, beginning to read them aloud to himself, "Alice- are you sure locking a man in a closet is the smartest thing? I mean- what if this is some- misunderstanding? maybe he's fine? "he has Chester's voice. he isn't real Sam! He is something that computer of yours spat out because of that weird obsession with the magnus institute you have!"

"Just because he came out of my computer doesn't mean he's my fault Alice! if I took a break maybe you would've-"

"SHHH- shut up- what...what is he doing..?" Alice asked, putting her hand up to Sams mouth she stared through the window at Jon who was totally enthralled in one of the cases, his eyes where a bright green, and around him looked like other eyes surrounding his head, staring intently at the pages in Jons hands,

"...i... Reading?" Sam said , his eyes wide as he stared into the window "oh yes. reading with about 6 extra eyes floating above his head. very normal Sam! heck i did that just yesterday!-"

"alright ! I'm sorry I'm just a bit -shaken alright!" Sam said as he looked to Alice and she sighed as she covered her face a moment, hen stared into the window "i know- you are alright? i just...Jesus Christ...he seems pretty sucked in...and if we don't get our work done Lena is gonna get up here so....lets get to work and figure out what to do with him when we are done...i mean- he was falling all over himself there's no way hes getting out of here." "are you being serious Alice?! you want to just go back to work like nothing happened? " Sam said in a slight frustration "yes Sam! there isn't much else we can do right now . so lets get back to work alright?'

"...fine... alright ...hey uh...where did Celia go? i haven't seen her since uhm- well i just thought she'd stick around for the computer man thing..."Sam said as he and Alice began to walk away through there was no way he would be able to take his mind off the man claiming to be Jonathan Sims

"oh i don't know- she probably went home...maybe we should check on her- not everyone is as calm cool and collected as us after all."

"didn't you fall out of your chair?" Sam asked with a small laugh

"that's besides the point!" Alice said with her arms crossed as she went back to her desk and roller chair "she did seem pretty freaked out - more then us i mean- i mean i practically pissed myself and - i know you'll need a fresh pair of pants after how you freaked- but I'm pretty sure she straight up ran after that guy said his name was 'Jonathan Sims'" Alice said as she sat down at her desk and looked to her computer "yeah..."Sam agreed and sat down at his desk as well, looking at his computer which was once again up and running like nothing had happened "well...my computers on again...wonder if it will still talk..."he said as he rolled himself close and pressed the space bar...but nothing happened... "ah..."Sam said with a hint of intrigue and sighed as he just went back to work After roughly twenty minutes of Alice and Sam working Gwen came in and sat down at her desk, looking tired and shaken but better then usual. she leaned back in her chair for a split second before sitting up straight and turning on her computer "hey Gwen, its not like you to be late is it? what's the occasion ?"Alice asked with a smirk but only received a groan from Gwen "right...of course" Alice answered herself with an exasperated tone and an eyeroll before looking back to her computer

"i didn't know my attendance was so much more interesting then getting your work done Alice." Gwen muttered to herself, irritated as she often appeared to be.

"well when you get on me for being a few minutes late i just find it interesting that you missed nearly an hour of work, that's all." Alice answered , Gwen didn't answer, maybe she didn't feel it was worth her time, after all she is behind on her cases While the three of them worked, Jon sat in his closet, feeling better after reading a case ...it was different for sure but at least he felt better, he got up off the floor, able to barley even stretch his arms out in the cramped space, shelved and shelves of boxes upon boxes full of old case files , with one question in his head "what happened?..' the apocalypse seemed to be over... but as he thought about that he felt as though this thought entered his mind "I'm not in my own reality anymore..." and with that realization he looked to the door and jiggle the handle as he tried to escape, he had to get out of here, no wonder he felt so weird, so out of place, so...lost, its because he isn't meant to be here.

Eventually Jon stopped, realizing that he cant be left in here forever, Alice and Sam had to come to release him, it was a waste of energy to get out sooner, besides, this might be the nicer kidnapping he's experienced, at least this time he didn't feel like his life was being threatened.

once work was over, Alice and Sam stayed behind as everyone left, knowing they would have to handle the random man in the closet claiming to be the late Jonathan Sims.

the two approached the door and slowly removed the chair , Sam opened the door and looked in at Jon who was leaning against the wall , having nothing on him besides a tape recorder in his pocket, which he had come in with, he did feel a sense of relief knowing it would no longer turn on by itself, at least it shouldn't unless the web also exists here, Jon looked up at Alice and Sam

Alice spoke first "...so...'Jonathan Sims', if that is your real name-'

"it is ."Jon answered, looking between Sam and Alice, who seemed put off by being interrupted

"Look Mr. Sims...we should get you out of here...we have a lot of questions for you and- it isn't safe here-"Sam said and Alice looked at him as though infuriated "excuse us-"Alice said with a smile at Jon before turning Sam around to speak with him "Are you mad?! we are NOT taking him home he isn't a stay cat on the street Sam! he is a weird man that crawled out of your computer! he cant be trusted!- " She whisper yelled at him and Sam quickly cut in "Yes ! he did and yes i know but if he stays here he will be found and we wont get any answers! do you really not want to know anything of why this happened!? "

'....fine! but he's going with you. i don't need him kicking around my house if you die that's on you ." Alice said with her arms crossed and Sam nodded. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

chapter two! sorry for the delay- i was really stressed working on a show for my schools theatre but this has been a fun way to take a break i jut didn't have the time unfortunately- thank you so much for reading