jimmy-fischer

[jimmy-fischer]

sl-beth‌:

Try me? I know, I hate that my baby is getting so big, makes me want another one, but then I look at him and think about what all he’s put me through and ask myself if it’s worth it… totally. Oh, I take pictures all the time. I have three phones full of pictures, boxes full of pictures. There isn’t a day I don’t take a picture of something my kid does or video record what he’s doing.

I feel ya. My “little one” is nineteen. I never thought about having another one. But maybe it wouldn’t be the worst thing the world. I wish i had more baby pictures. Parents have carried a camera with them everywhere for fifteen years and i feel like i just missed it.

[jimmy-fischer]

“it’s well-known. he popularized hot yoga in the united states. you think that he would have just left it at that, but that is a deep rabbit hole that you can go and fall all the way down.” he laughed, thinking about the juicer gathering dust in his cabinet. “because that’s how spinach tastes unless it’s immersed into cheese. you ever do a wheatgrass shot?”

jimmy-fischer·:

jimmy put his hand on wade’s shoulder. “the health and fitness industry is already a cult, my friend.” he patted the shoulder twice in a way that was supposed to be reassuring. “you want to do some absolute batshit research, look up bikram choudhury. and if i was going to help people commit mass suicide, it would be green juice.”

“Don’t I know it.” Wade nodded as he turned in friend’s direction. “Do I wanna know how you know that? But shit. You had me at ‘batshit research’.  Speaking of juice that’s green why is it so integrated into fitness culture? I need answers, Jimmy. It tastes awful.” 

[jimmy-fischer]

sl-beth‌:

I woke up to loud banging, all lights on in the house, and the telly horribly loud playing bubble guppies. Why is my son up at 3am, who the fuck knows. Have a child they said, it would be fun they said. Fuck that shit, I thought I was over the early morning shit. 

I’m about to tell you something crazy. You’re never going to believe me in a million years. But you’re going to miss that so much. Take a picture next time.

[jimmy-fischer]

theaspenbarris‌:

Aspen nodded “Sorry.. I read so much its all muddled up in my brain, and I haven’t had a coffee yet so.. Technically not awake” she joked “But yeah.. I think that’s what I want.. I just wanna look and feel good.. Does that make sense?” she asked watching him write things down. “One more thing.. totally weird and probably inappropriate. But I wanna have a nice butt.” she laughed “Like.. I want something that will look nice in a pair of jeans, and that is all strength training right?”

jimmy took this request dead-serious. he shook his head. “not inappropriate at all. one of the most common things i get asked about nowadays. it is definitely all about strength training. very easy to target. i just want you going into this with realistic expectations. i’m sure you know that most things you see on social media have no bearing on reality. it’s all face-tune and warp filters.” it was something he talked about a lot on his own instagram, often with his shirt off, as that was the only way to actually get people to click through.

[jimmy-fischer]

billie-g‌:

May I start you off with some appetizers? The waiter serving them said, and before Billie could tell him thank you, had left a plate of olives, what looked like fancy hummus, and dopping olive oil next to some breadsticks.

“Oh. That’s cool,” Billie said with some relief when he mentioned not looking for a co-parent, unsure where the relief even came from. She hadn’t come to this blind date with a view to actually date, god no. Eyes on the prize, she picked up one of the breadsticks and dipped it into the hummus-looking stuff, surprised when it didn’t taste like hummus at all. But god, it was good. “You’re thirty-five and look like that. I’m pretty sure all the L.A. dermatologists and trainers in the area want your secrets,” she said with a smile. The guy did look in great shape, and not a day over twenty-five.

“Well, it’s nice to meet ya, Jimmy,” Billie said, taking another bite out of her breadstick. “It had…its good points and its bad points. Loved the actual work, hated some of my coworkers. Film sets can be…very insular, toxic places. Like the worst version of high school.”

alright. jimmy knew what all of those foods were, he was pretty sure. that was as good of a start as any. he waited until billie had helped herself, and then took one of the breadsticks as well, breaking it in half and following her lead into the... baba ganoush? it didn’t seem like the setting for it. 

he laughed, accompanied by a little blush. his head hung as he recovered. “well, thank you. all of my secrets are very much for sale. i’m a personal trainer. which... after ten years, you think it would stop sounding so douchey to announce. but it never gets any better. i make more money off of social media nowadays anyway.” 

he chewed thoughtfully on the breadstick as she spoke. “people say all jobs have good points and bad points. i’ll tell you, i wouldn’t have lasted a second. what’s your favorite part about trader joe’s? discount on queso fundido?”

[jimmy-fischer]

jimmy put his hand on wade’s shoulder. “the health and fitness industry is already a cult, my friend.” he patted the shoulder twice in a way that was supposed to be reassuring. “you want to do some absolute batshit research, look up bikram choudhury. and if i was going to help people commit mass suicide, it would be green juice.”

“You know what I think about a lot? How the Heaven’s Gate website is still up and running to this day. You’d think maybe that would’ve taken it down before they all drank their kool aid, or was it apple sauce? I think it was apple sauce. Either way, promise me you won’t ever make a cult.” @slchat​

[jimmy-fischer]

theaspenbarris‌:

Aspen nodded, it was probably a good thing that she was taking this on board, not only for her physical wellbeing, but also her mental one  - as she knew how stressful and full on the job was about to become. “I don’t mind running, but when I was researching I read up on calisthenics, which I know techincally includes running but I was thinking of maybe working on more of the like.. Oh god I don’t know what all the equipment is actually called.. But like the.. Slamming ropes things.. And the weights with the crunches and stuff.. I don’t know maybe I’m just being dumb.. You’re the expert..” she blushed 

Jimmy laughed, in no way unkindly. “You’re talking about strength training. But, if I’m going to tell you a secret, that’s still how I think about all this stuff too. We don’t need fancy words for picking up heavy stuff. And I think you’re definitely in a good place to start a program like that.” He wrote a few notes onto a pad in front of him that would b e put into his computer later. “Is there anything else that you want me to know?”

[jimmy-fischer]

Residents as IASIP characters?

Charlie — Lucas ( @lucasburke )

Mac — Jimmy ( @jimmy-fischer )

Dennis — Winter ( @winterblvnco )

Frank — Jackson ( @thefoxygrandpa )

Dee — Mackenzie ( @mackyeccleston )

The Waitress — Aspen ( @theaspenbarris )

Maureen Ponderosa — Emilia ( @emiliasmr )

Pappy McPoyle — Alastair ( @alastairbarris )

Mrs. Mac — Billie ( @billie-g )

Cricket — Jude ( @judenolans )

Ongo Gablogian — Erin ( @erin-chambers )

[jimmy-fischer]

theaspenbarris‌:

“Sorry.. I try and be as prompt as possible.. To be early is to be on time..” she laughed, quoting something her ballet teacher had once told her.  “Well you said you wanted to just see what I can do, so.. I wanted to make sure I was ready to tackle anything you wanted to throw at me.. I’ve watched some of your videos and stuff so I know the kinda thing you do..” she didn’t know why she was blushing but she was.

Following him through she sat on a seat and looked at him “Yeah.. A couple of times a week when I’m either filming later in the day or not at all.. I just want to keep my fitness up and stuff now that I’ll be filming all the time and pretty much living off Craft..” she smiled and shook her head “I’ve did ballet lessons twice a week growing up until I was eighteen, and then like sometimes I’ll go for a run with my dad but other than that no exercise..” Some people may have lied but she thought it was dumb too, he’d be able to tell the minute he asked her to do things. “But.. I’m eager to make sure that I’m ready for whatever you throw at me!”

“Well, I’m glad that you’ve decided to show such an interest in your physical fitness now.” This wasn’t the first star that had been thrown at him since his move. He’d never actually recognized them, but a cursory google had been enough to fill him in on Aspen. He’d gotten in trouble before for not recognizing what was supposed to be a B-list celebrity. He couldn’t be blamed. He had no memory between about 2002 and 2008 between what all he had been doing at the time. “Do you actually like to run? If you do, that’s a great start. If you don’t, there’s definitely other cardio that most people don’t think of as punishment.”

[jimmy-fischer]

serenahalinski‌:

“So yeah, long story short, girl makes 5k in a month! Fifty thousands bucks, just like that, with a snap of her fingers! Or, you know, her toes I guess.” A short pause for a quick sip of her frapuccino before she kept going. “You know, hate to say it but I hella would. Absolutely. It should count as a selfie, right? Like, it’s your own feet after all.” @slchat​

“We’ve all thought about it.” Jimmy was talking through a mouthful of sandwich, and he swallowed before he continued. “There’s actually a pretty thriving market for it. Though I’ve heard it’s a slippery slope. One day you’re selling feet pics, the next it’s underwear you went jogging in.”

[jimmy-fischer]

theaspenbarris‌:

@jimmy-fischer​

Aspen walked into the studio after making sure she’d gone to the right location, she wasn’t usually one for working out but both the studio and her agent recommended that she start having a couple of personal training sessions a week to ensure she was fit, and to keep herself active. Which she wasn’t going to disagree with - she was now in the public eye and wanted to maintain a healthy lifestyle.

When she laid eyes on who her trainer was she couldn’t help but feel her mouth go dry. She knew exactly who it was. The hottest PT in Silver Lake and someone she’d thirst followed for a while. “I.. .Hi.. Jimmy?! I’m Aspen!” she managed to squeak out and gave him an awkward wave as she walked over to him. 

Jimmy had been humming under his breath, re-racking the weights when he’d heard his name, turning around with a smile on his face. “Aspen! Yeah, hi! You’re early.” By a couple of minutes, but based on all of his other clients out here in L.A., it might as well have been an hour. “And you’re already ready to go. Wow, look at you. Let’s head to my office.”

That being a little room in a bank of little rooms right off of the private training floor, with enough room for his desk and a couple of nice seats. “So, Aspen, you’re ready to start seeing me a few times a week? Can I ask you what brings you in? Do you have any experience with a personal trainer?”

[jimmy-fischer]

billie-g‌:

“Oh, wow.” He had a kid? And not only did he have a kid, but the kid was a freshman in college? “How old are you?” The old part emphasised but not meant in a derogatory manner. She was merely curious. That must’ve been one hell of a surprise baby. Unless he was a mormon or something; then not so much of a surprise. “Are you still with the mother? If that’s okay to ask.” Curiosity had gotten the better of her, but she was doing her best to temper her nosy side. 

“I uh, work at Trader Joe’s.” Despite herself, a sheepish quality crept into her, but it was what it was. Hell, she got a gold star for telling the truth instead of saying she was a sex therapist or skydiving instructor or some shit like that. “I used to work as a makeup artist for movies and TV, but I quit that.”

She laughed at his confession, easing some of the awkwardness that came with unfamiliarity away. “Honest to god, I don’t know half these words…guess we’re in for a surprise. Also, you didn’t tell me your name. ”

She laughed at his confession, easing some of the awkwardness that came with unfamiliarity away. “Honest to god, I don’t know half these words…guess we’re in for a surprise. Also, you didn’t tell me your name. ”

Jimmy smiled. He was caught, then. Not that it took a genius to put two and two together here. “I’m thirty-five. And I know that you’re doin’ the math in your head right now.” He laughed. “I was sixteen. I’ve just got the one. Mother and I haven’t been together since high school. Finished up one kid for the most part and I’ve still got a lotta life left to live. I’m not in any rush to jump into anything serious. Definitely not looking for a co-parent. Job’s done there.” 

He blushed now. “Jesus, I’m sorry. My mama would be kickin’ my ass right now. I’m Jimmy. Jimmy Fischer. We got so caught up with talking. What was it like to work in Hollywood? Sounds stressful as all hell.”

[jimmy-fischer]

billie-g‌:

“Amazing. What made you move so far? New job?” The words ‘Southern Gentleman’ fell into her mind, but of course time would tell if he would turn out to be a Rhett Butler. Not that she was particularly of one opinion or the other, Rhett was kind of a sleazy dickhead anyway. “We moved to Arizona. And once I got done with high school, I moved here.” As they spoke, she glanced down at the menus they’d been given to start planning ahead to what she wanted to order. The names threw her off, though. Cioppino, garganelli. Well shit. She’d have to google some of these on the sly to work out what they were.

Jimmy was always extremely open about his life on first dates. There was no point in lying-- if something he said was going to scare someone away, he’d rather it be tonight than in three months. “I moved out here to be closer to my kid. They’re a freshman at the college. I’m lucky enough that my job can take me just about anywhere. What do you do?”

He only looked at the menu when she did, and his lips moved around the words that he was reading. Alright, this wasn’t the Olive Garden. “...Alright. I’m prepared to sound like the dumbest person alive here, but do you know what any of this means?”

[jimmy-fischer]

billie-g‌:

With luck, he didn’t press further about it. “Yeah, definitely just wanna kick back now,” she said with a nod, as she found a menu being slid into her hands. She looked up at the waiter and thanked him for it before he left. “Sure. I’m Billie, 28, originally from Northern Ireland but lived here in America since I was nine. Legal and all, got my citizenship, so Trump can’t deport me.” That was a funny bit she did that always went down well. "You? Don’t tell me — you’re from the South!” His accent was a dead giveaway.

Jimmy laughed, dipping his head. “Yeah. Back country Georgia, born and raised. I only moved here a couple of months ago. Still tryin’ to get my footing here in the big city and all that. Did you and your parents move here to California?” He’d picked up his beer by now, though that didn’t seem to stop hom from talking with his hands.

[jimmy-fischer]

billie-g‌:

Well, shit. He was the actual listening type. This would not be easy for Billie, although it would be easy if she just told the goddamn truth every once in a while. “Oh, uh, they’re not mine, actually. I babysit a couple of times a week. There’s two of them though. I love those angels.“ Half a truth, well, all lie really, but better than lying about having kids. That would be harder to downplay.

“So yeah, sorry again. I hate keeping people waiting but, looks like you got started, so that’s good!” she gestured towards the beers as she sat down. As she did, she spotted a waiter coming their way with the menus.

Jimmy nodded. Work, then, getting in the way. Still completely understandable, and even the limited amount of resentment that he’d had toward his date being late had faded away completely. “That’s so great. Workin’ with kids is so rewarding. I ain’t gonna make you talk about them. Imagine you wanna get away after a long day.” He accepted the menus with a smile passing one her way. “Do you wanna tell me about yourself, then?”

[jimmy-fischer]

Jimmy was never the sort of person to get pissed off. You could spit on his shoe and he’d decide to turn the other cheek. He was starting to think that he’d been stood up, and he’d just been scrolling through sports updates on his phone, two empty beers on the edge of the table and a third one a good part of the way down. Twenty-eight minutes in and he’d just started to think about leaving when someone started walking toward him.

He stood up from the table, surprised when he was embraced but not unhappy. He hugged her back, but was definitely the first one to let go, not wanting to put all of that on her. He took a seat, and his eyes went from suspicion to excitement right away. 

“Oh! Yeah, absolutely. These things happen. How many do you have?”

Was she running fifteen minutes late because she couldn’t find the right hoop earrings? Possibly. Did this fifteen turn into a further twenty when 212 by Azealia Banks came on and she had to stay through to the end of it? Also highly likely. But eventually, she was satisfied with her outfit, waved Selina bye and strolled towards Cliff’s Edge on Sunset.

Exactly twenty-eight minutes after the 8:00 dinner date reservation time that Billie had been given for the blind date, she clacked onto the wooden deck of the outdoor patio in her heeled boots. It was 60 degrees, but felt more like it dipped into the fifties, so the girl wore a leather jacket over her red dress and was grateful for it. Waved towards a table, she saw the back of the guy’s head before the rest of him. 

“Heyyy.” She watched the guy rise to his feet, and in an uncharacteristic of her move, pulled him into a hug. If he was just about ready to murder her for being half an hour late, that would diffuse the situation, right? “So sorry I’m late. There was an emergency and I got held up. Kids, eh?” 

No, no kids, Billie thought to herself. Her deep rooted instinct to be a compulsive liar to passing strangers just for the hell of it would take a backseat tonight, she made herself that promise. If this guy was footing her expensive ass dinner, the most she could do was be honest, right? Well, she would try.

@jimmy-fischer​