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Here’s your fucking breast cancer awareness.

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I swear you’re somewhere at the bottom of one of these bottles.

k.m. (via dxmentxd)

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Cutthroat Kitchen> Chopped

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“It took us ten years, countless doctor appointments, and three miscarriages to have her. So we never feel bothered by her cries.” (Namakabroud, Iran)

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if you ever get the chance, please do yourself a favor and go through the ‘alton brown’ tag here on tumblr

here’s a collection of my favorite photos found there (most of which involve him holding fish)

and my personal favorite (no fish involved):

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Cutthroat Kitchen drinking game

Take a drink every time:

a contestant admits to not knowing what a dish is or how to make it

a contestant forgets a main ingredient in the pantry

the auction jumps more than $1,000 between bids

Alton Brown laughs maniacally (or does something else particularly malicious)

a sabotage ends up working to a contestant’s advantage

or, a contestant talks about not caring about a sabotage, and then they get it

someone buys a sabotage and later on it ends up biting them in the ass (eg they swap stations with the person who got the sabotage)

a contestant gets excited and cocky about having to make a dish that comes from their heritage (eg a Mexican chef gets to make huevos rancheros)

and then when they inevitably lose the round (seriously like 90% of the time they go home on their own heritage’s dish!)

“deconstructed”

or the contestant refers to their dish with a descriptive word that it’s clearly not

Finish your drink (but then pour yourself another) whenever:

contestant demographics: three men, one woman

a contestant spends more than half their money in the first round

bidding passes $10,000

you don’t like the person who wins the episode

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IM SCReAMING SO LOUD

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no one saw me wear it therefore it is not dirty

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Apple Cinnamon Pull Apart Bread With Apple Cider Glaze

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What's your favorite high school memory?

Leaving high school

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person I follow: [talks about being in high school]

me: [stares at hands]

me: [whispers] i'm so old