jenerallyreading

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My personal epiphany of the night is that if we do get a Jeremy crashout next book, likely related to leaving/getting kicked out of his house, I think rather than something outwardly dramatic towards/in front of other people he’ll might actually just be at risk of relapsing. Given what we’ve seen re: his self-destructive and self-punishing behaviors & his rare indulgences in cigarettes I could see that being what he desperately wants to fall back on, even more so because it would lean into the bit of self-hatred he’s got going on because of his history using and the guilt he feels.

Anyway I hope he goes to Cat/Laila/Jean for help (and you know, his therapist) and I imagine it would be a really heartbreaking scene & would definitely feel like a rock bottom for Jeremy. But I feel like he needs the reset in order to go up again.

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I still need a crashout or a breakdown from him in book three but it can be nonviolent 😌😌😌

maybe unpopular opinion but i kinda don't want jeremy to ever react to something violently because i don't want jean to have to live with that sliver of fear that jeremy could be capable of violence toward him like there's definitely something appealing about like jeremy getting a red card defending jean but at the same time i find the idea of him *never* resorting to violence really appealing too. jean seeing jeremy very very angry and yet still not hurting anyone with that anger? proving to jean that violence is not guaranteed? yeah

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everyone is excited for the golden raven to come out for jerejean but I’m excited to find out what the fuck is wrong with Jeremy !!

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Hey so now we know that this song works from Jeremy’s OR Jean’s POV 🙂🙃🙂

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....all this speculation about who might throw a punch to protect Jean and here comes James Rhemann with a steel chair

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jeremy who gives pieces of himself relentlessly, to his family, to his friends, to his team, until there’s nothing left of him except the guilt that eats him alive. jeremy who kept track of each call he had with his father on his notebook. jeremy who desperately clinged to the name that represented the family he wanted but doesn’t know where he stands anymore. jeremy who picks rude assholes who don’t respect him to fuck because deep-down that’s what he thinks he deserves. jeremy who puts himself last on the list of his worries. jeremy who tries to be good everyday but ‘he failed once already, didn’t he?’. jeremy who offered a blank check to a boy in need without expecting anything in return. jeremy whose happiness is a “rare treat to see” for a boy who smiles so brightly. jeremy who wakes up and tries everyday.

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I feel like we actually end The Golden Raven with Jean doing better than Jeremy; Jean is legitimately on the road to recovery and healing imo, but Jeremy is still stuck in a slowly spinning downward spiral. Like we know his history & past now but nothing for him really got better this book? His friendship/relationship with Jean made progress and Laila and Cat remain his besties but we leave off with him still trying to study for LSATs, sleep-deprived, separated from his friends and stuck at the house he hates, sleeping with demeaning and violent sexual partners, and stretched too thin taking care of everyone but himself—probably in part driven by his need to ‘make-up’ for his past mistakes.

I also want to know how often he is actually going to therapy??? Because it’s not every week like it’s supposed to be but how often is it? Like fuck his controlling and abusive mom (and fuck his entire family) but also my man I think you really could use some extra sessions right now likeee

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I have just finished and MY GOD.

I'm just currently sat here, staring into the void trying to process my thoughts

ME TOOOOOOO i feel like half a person rn

out of context tgr spoilers:

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Jean every time Jeremy's family comes up

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tsc rereading annotations since you liked the ones I posted for tkm so much

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The way that now we know literally like half of these are fucking trueee 😭😭

I see everyone's theories about Jeremy Knox but personally I believe they are all simultaneously true, every last one of them. Jeremy Knox has a dead sibling, that sibling is Seth Gordon, unrelated to this, Jeremy Knox has killed a person, he used to be a drug addict, he grew up in a cult, he's been to juvie, his family deals meth, his family is also the mafia and the cartel and corrupt politicians, he's had several toxic exes and his family is homophobic and he was in a street gang

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Laila and cat, devastated beyond belief having just lost their home and desperately trying to understand information for an apartment in a foreign language:

Jeremy knox, worlds greatest french student: ☝️bedroom

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imagine you are fbi agents trying to nail down the biggest case of your career and you just can't stop running up against college athletes who you need as witnesses but they won't take your help and just keep saying "but, ball is life??" when you suggest they go into witness protection

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jeremy “i’m your favorite exy star’s favorite exy star” knox

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One of my favorite parts of aftg is when it switches from Andrew and Kevin co-parenting Neil to Andrew and Neil co-parenting Kevin.

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As much as focus tends to go towards Jean’s trauma in regards to a future romantic and/or sexual relationship with jerejean, I actually think it’s going to be a big deal (with some hiccups) on Jeremy’s end as well. Like we know Jeremy would never harm Jean like the Ravens but I think the issues comes more with how he’ll be able to navigate receiving care/affection & being in a non-casual relationship. Because he certainly doesn’t have casual feelings about Jean.

I guess we can’t say if all his hook-ups are as bad, for lack of better word, as what we saw in the golden raven, but for all Jeremy appears confident in his sexuality & sexual partners I think his family/Mom have him more fucked up about actually being in a real relationship [with a man] than it initially appeared earlier in the series. As supportive as he is towards his friends, I think that Wilshire shit and family expectations have been more of a hang-up in this department than I would’ve thought in book one perhaps.

I mean we get the discovery in this book of both how Laila’s love and affection was life-changing for him & also how vehemently she disapproves of his hookups and that’s pretty telling. I’m just very much getting the impression that between lasting guilt/feelings of responsibility for Noah & the Freshman year party and his family’s aggressive homophobia that Jeremy’s relationship with his sexuality and by extension sex is, as OP said, unhealthy at best at the moment & the strong pursuit of partners whom not only promise emotional unavailability but also are actively demeaning and borderline abusive…

All I can really say is that I think going in to book one I think most of us assumed that our sunshine boy would be showing Jean all the love, tenderness, and care he’s never had before in any kind of relationship (sexual or otherwise), but I think this is going to be a much more even-footed experience where they’re showing care to one another that they’ve *both* never had before. I think it’ll be beautiful.

I thought Leo was a one off asshole but Fraser's behavior really convinced me that Jeremy uses sex as self-harm. He drinks even though Jeremy needs a ride back to the hotel, but Jeremy still stays even though he could get in trouble. He is disrespectful to Jeremy before hand which is can be taken a dirty talk, but then he also insults Jean.

Jeremy stays regardless. He's not looking for a positive experience. He's purposefully putting himself in risky situations as punishment.

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JEREJEAN MY LOVES