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yknow i think about this tiny little scene so much it's probably criminal

because for one, i read this scene as like, a glimpse into who jopson is off duty, when he isn't tending to his captain. he's hunched over, eating directly out of the can, not particularly concerned with appearances. it's a side of him crozier has probably never seen.

and on top of that, the way jopson and little exchange this knowing glance with each other when that bell rings—because jopson is needed again, and they've all probably heard this bell ring dozens or hundreds of times by now. a steward's duty is never quite done, and jopson just scoops a last bite of mystery meat into his mouth and rushes off to his captain's side without hesitation. his expression seems to say "welp, here we go again," but there's no malice in it. if anything, he looks fond.

it just lives in my brain rent-free because it's such a different jopson than we get for the rest of the series: relaxed, casual, easygoing. when he's around crozier, which he is in nearly every other scene he's in, he's more alert and caring and gentle, consumed by crozier's presence. and between crozier's jopson and hickey's jopson ("my aim's fine, mr. hickey") and this unclaimed jopson, he just drives me insane. i don't even know how to express the point i'm trying to make really, i just think the genuine thomas jopson underneath his rank and role is so interesting to look at. and also how eager and willing he is to come running to crozier at any moment's notice.

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It will be my mission in life to find all the Chris Evans laugh edits and apprehend the crafty son of a bitch that keeps making them. 

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yesterday I had two old ladies get upset that coffee isn’t 10 cents anymore. 

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June 30 2018 - A waitress in Georgia takes no shit from a man who gropes her while walking by. Ryan Cherwinski, 31, of Palm Bay, Florida, was taken into custody at the scene, in front of his wife and two kids, and charged with sexual battery. [video]

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i just got a 105 min ad?? on youtube??

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english: coconut oil

french: :)

english: oh boy

french: oil of the nut of the coco

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Who The Heck Is “Suzy?”

This is an information post on the character of Suzy in Undertale. This post serves as a source for anything about the ‘Suzy’ character that we can gather at this time. 

There are lots of theories, but that’s not what this is for. I’ll try to keep even my personal opinions and theories to myself, and try to boil it down to the hard facts and give my best answer to the question: ‘Who the heck is “Suzy?”

Tl;dr: Nobody is really sure, but we have a few specifics.

The long answer is under the readmore, if you want to check it out.

Where Can I Find Suzy?

You can’t.

Even using the cheat engine to skip through all the unfinished rooms, even tearing the game apart with hacking tools and decompilers to look for their monster information, their obj_ files, their sprites … You can’t meet Suzy right now.

You just can’t.

Fun And The Clamgirl 

There is only one scenario where you can hear about Suzy. You hear about her secondhand from her ‘neighbor.’ We call this neighbor ‘clamgirl,’ because that’s the name of their sprite in the files. She never gives us her name and we have no better way to indicate her unless we say ‘that girl who talks about Suzy,’ and that’s a mouthful.

You meet clamgirl in the waterfall ‘safe’ area, in the section that leads to Gerson’s shop, Undyne’s house or the blook farms depending on what exit you take. There are a few conditions that need to be met before you can meet the clamgirl.

Your LOVE cannot be too high.

Your ‘fun’ value must be between 80 and 89.

When you start up a game of Undertale, or reset, your file is assigned a random ‘fun’ value. You can check this value in the .ini file, in the Undertale SAVE area.

When your fun value is between 80 and 89, either through luck or by manipulating the files (just changing the number in the .ini file is NOT enough) the clamgirl will appear, and you can talk to her.

Default Clamgirl Dialogue

When the game first came out, the clamgirl had a set of dialogue options, just like any other overworld NPC. Depending on circumstance, this dialogue changes. I have pictures of most of these, but some of them I do not, and I will have to resort to tearing the dialogue from the strings.

The first time you talk to the clamgirl, before you have finished the game, she says this:

If you talk to her again without leaving the room, she says this:

If you talk to her again after having killed Undyne, she says:

* I sense a disturbance in&  the nearby aura…/

* I think you should leave&  that girl alone./%%

If you talk to her after having completed the pacifist ending and having talked to her before:

If you go back and talk to her after beating the game on pacifist, without talking to her the first time, she says:

* I wanted to tell you about&  my neighbor’s daughter./

* But you walked right by me&  before I could tell you./

* Fate has decided that I&  should not tell you./%%

Patch 1.01 Dialogue

When Toby updated to patch 1.01, some of the clamgirl’s dialogue changed.

When you talk to the clamgirl a second time, an extra piece of dialogue is added to the clamgirl’s regular speech. 

The post-pacifist dialogue, where you spoke with her before and come back to speak again, changes slightly.

“Don’t Forget”

Starting with the 1.01 patch, there is a special picture in sans’ lab that you only see by fulfilling certain special conditions.

This condition for seeing this ‘don’t forget’ message is: having talked to the clamgirl.

What Do We Know About Suzy?

Suzy is a kid, about Frisks’ age.

They’re a girl.

They live in the capital, with at least one parent.

We never meet them over the course of our adventures. (aka, they are NOT monster kid, they are NOT a reincarnation of the yellow human SOUL in mettaton [if you’re one of the people who subscribe to that theory], or any other possible mistaken identity twist)

There is, if the clamgirl is to be trusted, some undefined ‘destiny’ that connects her to Frisk.

Somehow, speaking to the clamgirl who talks of nothing but Suzy, causes the ‘don’t forget’ event in sans’ lab.

Who The HECK Is Suzy?

Hell if I know. But whoever she is, she’s important.

SEPT 21st 2018 UPDATE:

In the Switch release of Undertale, the clamgirl’s post-pacifist scene changes drastically at ‘fun’ level 81.

In it, upon walking up to the clamgirl and talking to her, she turns gray and her sprite changes to something more sinister and strange-very similar to gaster followers or the goner kid-and the post-pacifist music cuts off. When the convo ends, she vanishes with the same sound effect that the ‘mysteryman,’ which you need fun value 66 to find in Waterfall does.

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*randomly materializes out of a murder of crows with a slurpee in my hand* hey guys what’s up?

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Me: you should draw something other than deltarune Me: … Me: … Me:

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Watch: The “pink tax” is secretly costing women thousands — and not just at the drug store

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What’s the worst advice you’ve received in your life?

My careers advisor in high school.

When I said “I think I want to do something with computers” she said “have you heard of Microsoft?”

Then she wrote Microsoft on a piece of paper and slid it across the table and that was my careers interview over.

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CAAAAKE

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MTC goes to McDonalds

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