jeithepeterpan

[jeithepeterpan]

[jeithepeterpan]

I'm sure you get this a lot but I used to watch your YouTube videos yeeears ago.. I randomly remembered you today and wanted to see if you're still active on social media, and I'm glad you are! I hope you're doing well :] Your adventures look awesome and thank you for sharing, I find it very inspiring ^-^ I gave ya a follow on IG

aw thank you <3

[jeithepeterpan]

Thinking of running away again soon. Maybe alone this time.

[jeithepeterpan]

omg..their new song released..made me cry... every single word hits me hard. this is me... i can relate to it so hard..and everytime i hear this song, i just break down.

[jeithepeterpan]

[jeithepeterpan]

some people feel like they don’t deserve love

they walk away quietly 

into empty spaces

[jeithepeterpan]

"You are wrong if you think joy emanates only or principally from human relationships. God has placed it all around us. It is in everything and anything we might experience. "

-Christopher McCandless

'Into The Wild'

[jeithepeterpan]

Great Basin National Park. Lehmans Cave. :)

[jeithepeterpan]

I wonder why I always shut down and can’t feel anything? Once I open up, I just close down again after feeling vulnerable. My language partner in Japan has fallen for me and I did my best to push her away emotionally but she doesn’t want to leave me and would break down every-time I would try.

I kind of gave up on learning because of this reason.. but I will go back on track as I made it as my new year resolution.

She opened up a lot about her insecurity and the cultural difference between us. She always call me “Jei-San” because she respects me and admires me. Also maybe because I’m a decade older than her but mostly it’s out of respect. She wants to be like me and be confident in herself so I’ve been guiding her as a friend and also exchanging languages in the process. Her English has gotten a lot better and she can speak faster than before. Me on the other hand.. I can finally make sentences. 😅

Anyways I’ll end it here for today.

[jeithepeterpan]

selca part 2 in Joshua

[jeithepeterpan]

Selca Joshua National Park

[jeithepeterpan]

what's your instagram?

venturelust. But I do not add people easily, so best to introduce yourself first before sending a request :)

[jeithepeterpan]

I know in the grand scheme of things this isnt imprtant but some of your youtube videos have been deleted! I tried looking for your schools out video and its gone! I don't know if you can bring them back but this sucks your videos were the best. Hope your doing okay these days---just from an old fan :)

Oh you noticed! I thought nobody checks anymore. I can always send you a personal link. Sorry I cleaned it out in case someone were to find out because honestly I am embarrassed of my videos now.

[jeithepeterpan]

Great Basin National Park. Playing in the snow.

[jeithepeterpan]

2022

The years during this pandemic flew by fast. I wasn't able to really grasp onto anything or the people that came in and walked out of my life. I've connected with few people who stirred up my heart but only for it to die down again. Every-time I connect with someone mentally/emotionally, I end up losing them because the emotions are too intense for them or for me. I'm constantly scared & always choose the route of being emotionally alone. I can't trust nor can I let myself love someone deeply or passionately because I know myself. I know how fragile I am, how easily I can fall apart at the palm of their hands.

I've done a lot of reflecting this year. I went on a road-trip with my friend I met here on tumblr decade ago. We had a wonderful time playing in the snow, kayaking in one of the most cleanest lake in the world, hiking in the slot canyons, drinking in the hotel talking about nonsense, and those silent late night drives in the desert. I missed this so much. I missed driving in the empty road with no particular destination in mind. Living in the present and not thinking about anything further than that.

I'm still dreaming that some day I will let someone in or that some day I will live in a cabin with a dog, travel on the road full-time, and see more of this world. I have currently seen 46 National Parks in America & 43 States in America. Amazing isn't it? I didn't even think the younger me would imagine that I would do what I set out wanting to do in the future. I love you, Jei. Thank you for staying alive through everything & for being here. Or else I wouldn't have seen the things I've wanted to see & experience the things I've wanted to feel.

I've been learning Japanese but I've been slacking lately due to personal reasons. I hope I will get back on track. My Japanese friend did mention I have improved a lot since she met me, so I was happy to hear that.

I will come back more often to this Tumblr.. Just to keep track on myself & how much I've changed over the years.

[jeithepeterpan]

Hi Jei! I remember 3+ years ago I use to be totally obsess over you. I remember telling you to please wait for me till I was of age so I could marry you. How childish I was. Now I like to write you these type of questions every so often. I hope one day we can cross path so I can meet you in real life. You're still the cool Jei I had a fat crush I had in High School. Love you, Unnie.

aw, thank you <3 Hope we can cross path too. I love meeting new people ^_^

[jeithepeterpan]

Hi everyone.

I guess this place is dead..Imma do some makeover on my layout. I really missed this place.