jazhara7

[jazhara7]

This just kept getting better and better.

Are fedoras really that bad?

YES YES THEY ARE

[jazhara7]

So, I got a new keyboard for my birthday. It's mechanical, which I wished for, but that is irrelevant right now.

What is relevant, is that I realised it has the most awesome key ever. A key I never realised I needed it. A dedicated key to open the Calculator App. Also, mute, volume up and volume down, which are fine. But Calculator? I think I hit the jackpot. I'm not even kidding. This is great. I don't need play, pause, etc. and whatnot keys. The volume keys are neat, not saying no to those. But seriously, I don't need the calculator often enough to warrant a shortcut or pin to the startmenu or taskbar. But when I do need it? I need it *fast*. I love my new keyboard even more now.

[jazhara7]

I once bought a long hair wig from a really tiny online store that was so badly made, but they were the most affordable and had trusted shop confirmation that it was legit. I ordered in the middle of the night, like 2 the morning. The location it was sent from was somewhere in buttfucking-nowhere, and despite all those things, the wig showed up on my doorstep at 9 o'clock that *same* morning.

This opens up several questions as to how it was possible:

- Was someone just sitting in front of the computer at 2 in the morning, waiting for an order to come in, only to jump at the opportunity to send a plastic hair wig out immediately?

- Where did they hand it to the mail service? I live in the main metropolitan region in Germany, and even *here* we won't get a post office open at two in the morning - not even dropping it off directly at the distribution center can be done at that time (during the day that is actually an option. It's a counter at the side of the factory building, with ancient advertisements from the 90s that advertise the then new Postcode system that now has 5 instead of 4 digits (done after the reunification of Germany to account for more postcodes, and to prevent discrimination based on postcodes from the east or west) You can see the sorting machines in the back.

- Even if they sat there in the night to prepare my order, then found a post office open in the backwoods, the physical processes of going through postal sorting and getting it to me across the distance should have been hard to complete in those 7 hours. Not impossible (obviously), but still insane.

Also, to this day I can no longer find this shop. I believe I might have stumbled upon the online version of those stores that pop up when you need them with the greatest stuff, and *exactly* the item you need, but when you try to find them later on, they are gone, building and all, like a "Wandering Shop" a "tabernae vagantes" from the Discworld.

The wig was pretty good too.

dude we've GOT to start buying shit from niche specialist sites that look like they were made in 2004 again. i just got some tape for repairing books from this ugly ass website geared at libraries. tell me why they also sent me a free (really nice!) pen, a business card with an overexposed picture of a guinea pig standing on a book with the text "smile :-)", and a LOTTERY TICKET???

[jazhara7]

The Theme tune for this post is "Ghengis Khan" by Miike Snow.

No I’m not attracted to you. Quit your evil putting your finger under my chin to make me look up at you. I know I’m your nemesis and all but we really need to set some boundaries when you’ve got me tied up like this.

[jazhara7]

I love that there seems to be a slight typo in the text, saying Thor Aakerlund discovered, in 2011, and *then* people were using it well into the 90s.

I can't find any other date, only that there was a documentary featuring him and his involvement in the conquering of Tetris, which is from 2011.

This leaves me only the option to assume Thor Aakerlund discovered this technique and went back in time to share it with the Tetris community sometime pre-1990, so that people could continue to strive to reach further levels, and these continued efforts set events in motion that eventually lead to Blue Scuti reach the kill screen before the cataclysm. His single act allowed the world to be saved from utter ruin and avoid the dystopian state it was in his timeline, where humanity had been enslaved by the Tetris gods. A real hero.

So apparently the pro-Tetris scene is exploding right now because a 13 year old nerd just reached the game's true killscreen for the first time ever

[jazhara7]

Tranforming into a giant fucking blue creature is something I'd expect from the princess, not the queen.

[jazhara7]

Don't resist the potato.

[jazhara7]

Makes all that "Habemus Papam" business way more interesting.

Countries with permanent brown bears

Russia is home to the most brown bears in the world. It’s estimated that there are around 120k of them in Russia. On the European continent Romania is the winner with around 7000 bears.

Note: Occasionally bears pass the border Into Hungary and Switzerland but they don’t breed and stay there so they’re not counted as permanent Habitats.

by loverofgeography

[jazhara7]

This is me last night. I also remembered that the awesome site I got them at no longer exists, and that made me so sad I couldn't sleep for a while.

[jazhara7]

I want to point out that turtles, tortoises and terrapins are the absolute worst to take apart, since they seem to immediately start to ferment anaerobically in that shell once they die. Amphibians and reptiles create the most extreme decomposition stink, but chelonians take the decomposed cake. I once had an argument with a fellow student in my second field of education (first is Technical assistant for natural sciences. Meaning I do everything from smashing rocks to dissecting animals and pressing plants...and general collection and library management) - Sewage management specialist - about how supposedly he knew how dead animals smell. Yes dear, you do. But you still haven't experienced the full power of smell of a dead turtle you opened after it was dead for a few days.

quick! time to post photos of turtle skeletons

and my personal favorite:

this snapping lil fuck

[jazhara7]

I reblog the money pigeon because pigeons deserve to kick that stereotype of being dumb birds.

Also financial stability would be nice.

reblog the money pigeon for a financially stable future

[jazhara7]

I have absolutely no idea how to handle children. The most interaction was with my little cousins a few times a year. So much that one time, when he was maybe 4 at most, my cousin was staring at me all evening, with that weird face. Until it suddenly lit up, and he came running to hug me. He had been searching his brain all evening who this woman was, and nearly before the end of the evening he remembered. Then he insisted that *I* am the one that has to read him his bedtime story. It was nice. It was a the standard fairy tales (little red riding hood, etc.) in a picture book, and for some reason they had a gnome as a narrator leading from one story to the next. That cousin is an adult now too, and even his little sister is too. But sometimes I like to remind him (in a friendly way, because I thought it was nice).

What I am saying is, even though I don't have a clue how to handle kids, I do try. Awkwardly, as I am no good at baby talk and stuff, and just talk to them like to an adult, take them serious, but in simpler words. And they end up flocking to me for it. Kids like being taken seriously too. How they detect it from seeing me though? No idea.

christ sometimes I just wanna. steal a time machine & go back & sit down next to my 9-year-old self and just like. let them pull out their pokemon card binder & gush about their holographic gyarados or whatever. I'd just smile & ask questions about motherfukcing bulbasaur & tell my kid self that I thought they were a neat person, & someday they'd find other people who thought so too.

like i'm a grown adult who honestly finds most kids stuff boring, but. damn if i could go back & hang out with my baby self & listen to them ramble...just so they knew someone was listening. i would in a heartbeat. thinking about u kid

[jazhara7]

I'm sorry to break the mood, but that last paragraph only made me think...

reading a textbook for class and i’m going insane. why is this just poetry. what. this is a STEM class what’s going on.

[jazhara7]

Reblogging for myself too.

And I still can't read what the tiny red dot a bit to the bottom right off the center says.

petition to rename the usa ‘south canada’

[jazhara7]

The tongue is an integral part of the lion yawn.

It turns a basic yawn into a terrifying thing.

In school, when asked to imitate a cat (happened more often than you'd think. Being in drama group helped less than you'd think.), I'd do a lion yawn, with that tongue going all the way down, and the curling back up to gather up...???

It's always the tongue.

When cats yawns they look terrifying, I love it.

[jazhara7]

Funny thing, I heard about this pretty quickly, and I'm in Germany.

Also, am I the only one who thinks this could have been avoided with a bit of sticky tape? Like when I stick the screws for a shelf or other piece of furniture to the larger pieces (preferrably in a bag), with *multiple layers* of tape. Don't just trust in the integrity of a container, embrace the holy stickiness.

Hell, this is why people used to sew important documents into coats when sending a young person travelling...

a tiny problem

this probably hasn't made the news in other countries - huge mining company Rio Tinto managed to lose this little capsule (8 x 6 mm) somewhere in West Australia:

it's caesium-137, the stuff that has made Chernobyl uninhabitable, and you don't want to be standing within 5-10 meters of it, because it's blasting out beta and gamma rays. you REALLY don't want to pick it up, because it'll give you radiation burns.

what's nuts is it seems to have somehow escaped from its "secure" container and fallen out of a bolt hole while being transported, and then nobody noticed for TWO WEEKS.

anyway there are fire fighters on their sixth day of scouring 1,400 km (!) of desert road right now, but it's so small that it may never be found (I think the detection radius with the equipment they're using is maybe 20m). it's so small that it could have stuck in a car's tire treads, or been picked up by an unfortunate bird or other wildlife. it has a half-life of 30 years, which means it'll be dangerously radioactive for centuries.

it's just an incredible fuckup on so many levels.

[jazhara7]