jaysons-alt

[jaysons-alt]

Am I just a fundamentally unconcerned person or something? The last time shots were fired anywhere near us was a few days ago, and before that a few months ago, both times at the mall. If it was the mall I feel that would be valid but honestly of all the places we have next to nothing to be concerned about imo.

... maybe it is just me huh

[jaysons-alt]

You laugh but I did the same. I have people I've sworn to pull the 5th wheel releases of if I ever encounter them again. I also made friends that would help me do it.

Most intriguing sentence ever

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Is it the stained glass that causes the catholic guilt or is the stained glass the result of the catholic guilt staining it?

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I was mentally unstable and cackling in the dark at night while doing it

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I have my first (used and likely older than me) desk that actually belongs to me and the first thing I did was put two holes in it and mount a monitor arm to it

The rest of the plan involves a lot of twist ties and command strips

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THIS FUCKING EXACTLY. I AM STRUGGLING SO MUCH WITH THIS RN HOLY SHIT

[jaysons-alt]

My head hasn't been silent since March 2024

You want to see real sorcery happen in your life?

Start talking to yourself.

Comfort yourself when you’re down.

Soothe yourself when you’re hurt.

Encourage yourself when you’re scared.

Feeling nostalgic? Tell yourself some memories.

Messed up? Tell yourself it will be fine.

Time to sleep? Tell yourself good night.

When you’re tired, ask yourself to take a break.

When you’re panicking, get yourself to breathe.

When you win, congratulate yourself.

If you do these things sincerely and consistently, you will witness true sorcery.

Your body will start healing itself for you.

Your heart will start feeling whatever you want it to.

Your mind will start changing your environment to fit you.

No one in this world will love, nurture and protect you as much as you will yourself.

But as with everyone else, you first have to earn yourself’s devotion and loyalty.

So start talking to yourself today. What’s the first thing you will say?

[jaysons-alt]

I have the opposite, I don't know how to mentally shut the fuck up and the only way to make the music stop is Vyvanse

You want to see real sorcery happen in your life?

Start talking to yourself.

Comfort yourself when you’re down.

Soothe yourself when you’re hurt.

Encourage yourself when you’re scared.

Feeling nostalgic? Tell yourself some memories.

Messed up? Tell yourself it will be fine.

Time to sleep? Tell yourself good night.

When you’re tired, ask yourself to take a break.

When you’re panicking, get yourself to breathe.

When you win, congratulate yourself.

If you do these things sincerely and consistently, you will witness true sorcery.

Your body will start healing itself for you.

Your heart will start feeling whatever you want it to.

Your mind will start changing your environment to fit you.

No one in this world will love, nurture and protect you as much as you will yourself.

But as with everyone else, you first have to earn yourself’s devotion and loyalty.

So start talking to yourself today. What’s the first thing you will say?

[jaysons-alt]

"I am inevitable" my ass I've said it before and I will say it again you will not survive the winter

[jaysons-alt]

@theshitpostcalligrapher type shit

my sister's baby shower has a "suggestion box"

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Evil Shark fact

Fuck you

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Some people say that there are no stupid questions, which is blatantly false. Of course there are stupid questions, and if you have one, you had better ask it, before you go and do make a stupider mistake. Stupid questions are more important than intelligent ones. I’m willing to bet more people die because of stupid mistakes than because of intelligent ones.

[jaysons-alt]

well fuck me if this doesn't sum it up perfectly nothing does

Least fun parts of thrift shopping:

This thrift shop used to have jeans for like $3 and now everything is priced like it's new

Hear about a cool new thrift shop in town and you check it out and it's actually "vintage upcycling and consignment" so the shredded jorts are $250 on sale

This place used to get cool stuff but the tiktok haul resale people found it and now anything decent is snapped up and immediately resold for like $500 online

"Ooh this is cute" and then you check and it's shein

"Ooh this is cute" and then you check and it's Harry P*tter

The jacket of your dreams is in your price range but it's 3 sizes too small

Your absolute FAVOURITE thrifted item finally wears out beyond salvation and when you do research to maybe find a replacement it's been discontinued since 1983

Check the pockets and find used kleenex

STICKY THING

This was exactly what I was looking for but I can't get the weed remnants out

"This is obviously broken but I know how to fix it" (never fixes it)

[jaysons-alt]

A succulent succ of dihydrogen oxide

There's nothing going on...

What am I to do with myself?

*takes a long suck of water*

Hmm