jatp-incorrect-quotes

[jatp-incorrect-quotes]

Caleb: *transforms to look like Alex*

Alex: Okay, are you like BLIND? You look nothing like me. First off, I'm way taller. Secondly, I DO NOT look so sleep deprived and lastly, if you could drag comb through that hair you're like a 7 on a good day and I've been told I'm a constant 10.

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Julie: You are an absolute fucking dork.

Luke, singing: Yeah, but I'm your dork!

Julie: *sighs* Yeah, you're my dork.

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Julie: Why are you on fire?

Alex: This is just how my day is going.

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Willie: Question. When they shot Bambi's mother, did you find that a sad moment...at all?

Caleb: I'm sure she's mounted on a nice wall in a fine home somewhere.

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Julie: I have a problem.

Luke: If it's harder than 2+2, I can't help.

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Computer: Please enter a password.

Alex: *types in Willie*

Computer: Your password is too weak.

Alex: How fucking DARE YOU-

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Luke: I wasn’t that drunk.

Julie: You colored my face with a highlighter because you said I was important.

Luke: BECAUSE YOU ARE!

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Reggie: How many vampires do you think have been hit by a car backing up in a parking lot because the driver couldn’t see their reflection?

Alex: I’ve never considered it but you’re really shining light on what’s probably a very serious issue.

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Reggie: You gave me up, you let me down, you turned around, and deserted me.

Luke: But did I make you cry?

Reggie: *cries on the spot*

Luke: ...Shit.

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Julie, to Carrie: I'd roast you, but my mom says you can't burn trash.

Julie: *slow-mo walks out of the room*

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Alex: Isn't it amazing how I can feel so bad and still look so good?

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Luke: The only thing I'm guilty of is being adorable... ...and also assault with a deadly weapon.

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Luke: And what do I get out of this?

Reggie: I will give you a dollar.

Luke: What do you think I am? A chump? I would never do it for a dollar!

Reggie: How bout two dollars?

Luke: You got yourself a deal.

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Flynn: Carrie, fuck off.

Flynn: And by "fuck off" I mean "fuck off right back here and listen", you insufferable prick.

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Luke: I just found out that humans are capable of fitting a light bulb into their mouth with ease but can’t take it out without shattering it, and now I have to physically restrain myself from putting a light bulb in my mouth

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Julie: Reggie was banned from the chicken shack, so we had to go out of town to get some.

Reggie: Well, they shouldn’t say “all you can eat” if they don’t mean it.

Julie: Reggie, you ate a chair.

[jatp-incorrect-quotes]

Alex: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine.

Willie: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.

Alex: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns??

Willie: Is it working?