jared-smokes-blog

[jared-smokes-blog]

yourmomsamilf:

I’m guessing/hoping they don’t do random drug tests are your work?

Nope. Helps that my dad knew the boss when I was a kid, too. I’m drug test free! What’s it matter? You a doctor or something?

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rileypark:

I see. I’ve tried many things in my life, but drugs are not one of them. I suppose I have to take your word for it now, but don’t doubt I want to read on it just to make sure. I’ll ignore the fact that you’re a complete stranger, therefore I have no way of knowing if this is a frequent behaviour for you, and I’ll give you some of the credit you ask for. I’m somewhat amused. You’re constantly trying what, new drugs or new weed formulations?

New strains. And this is highly frequent behavior. Pretty much all day behavior. Honestly, it seems like you could use a bud or two in your life.

[jared-smokes-blog]

keelyharper:

After the conversation with Jared, Keely was happy to know that he had accepted her offer to take a look at her car. She wasn’t the best at keeping up maintenance past oil changes and brakes but the smoke coming from under the hood every time she cranked it up was something she knew couldn’t be fixed by a quart of motor oil so after shooting the guy her address, she sat and waited for him to arrive. Her apartment was on the top floor so he was going to have to be buzzed in but that shouldn’t be hard given that he was the only expected visitor that day. Sure enough, after about twenty minutes or so, she heard the buzzer and after telling him she was on the third floor, she made sure she looked presentable before he arrived. 

The knock on the door caused her to jump and as a result, Desdemona to bark. “Shush!” She whispered, before walking over to the door to open it. The guy in front of her was beyond attractive and she zoned out for a second before quickly regaining her composure. “Oh yeah. That’s me.” She said, swallowing thickly before extending a hand. “Just give me a second to lock up and I’ll you down to the garage.” Closing the door for just a second, she grabbed her house and car keys before stepping out. “Its in the basement. We can take the elevator.” Offering him a smile, she quickly locked the door and instructed him to follow her. “Thank you for this. I hope you can figure out what’s wrong with her.” 

Jared noted the pause before the cute blonde answered him, and his lips twitched with the threat of a smile. He wasn’t sure what he expected of a teacher - glasses for sure - but if he’d had more ladies like this pointing at a chalkboard in high school, he might have made it to class more often. He accepted her hand for a moment and then shoved his free hand in his pocket as he waited outside her door. When she returned, Jared returned her smile and let her lead the way to her vehicle. Not that he wanted to give her bad news, but he kind of hoped it was an interesting case. At least as interesting as her, he thought as he watched her hair bounce with each fall of her step. It was an like watching a hair commercial, only a lot more entrancing. He was glad he had his tools to hold - made it easier to resist the urge to touch.

“Yeah, no problem,” he said, waving a hand at her as they reached the elevator door. He turned a quizzical gaze on her as they waited for the doors to slide open. “Was that a dog I heard back there?” 

Start Me Up || Jared & Keely

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Start Me Up || Jared & Keely

Jared never turned down any opportunity to practice his craft. He smoked a little white widow before hauling himself from Queens to Brooklyn in his reliable little pickup. Parking around the corner from the address she - Keely - had given him, Jared grabbed his tool bag and made his way to her place.

When he reached her door, Jared tucked the heavy bag under one arm and rang the bell with the other. He waited, taking in the sights and sounds of the city under the mellow influence of weed. Whatever her car’s issues were, they probably wouldn’t be solved today, but judging by his mood, Jared thought he was ready to tackle them.

As she answered the door, Jared stepped forward, throwing himself into semi-professional mode as he smiled at her.

“You Keely? I’m Jared. Here to help with your car?”

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[jared-smokes-blog]

beautyguru-audreyz:

Since she hadn’t been expecting company Audrey stayed true to her no bra at home rule and while she wasn’t shy or prude and had been naked in front of, well, a healthy amount of men, this was maybe the first time she felt weird being braless in front of her soon-to-be husband. Not that he was paying much attention to her, his eyes wandered around her apartment, and besides her salon, her home was something she was really proud of; she had started with a crappy tiny place after she sold her family house once her father passed away and after a lot of hard work she got the loft thanks to a client who was a relator. Most things were secondhand or presents from costumers but Audrey put effort in making everything work. 

As she spoke to him, Audrey headed to the kitchen section, she had not been planning to drink this night but the current situation deserved at least a cold beer. After a second of hesitation she pulled to bottles, one for her guest and then returned to the living room. 

Audrey opened her mouth and had started to correct Jared but then his laugher made her pause and shut her mouth closed. Rolling her eyes she took a deep breath and waited for him to shut up. It wasn’t the first time people had trouble spelling her last name but it was the first time someone had so much fun with it. The guy was histerical. “Are you drunk or high or something?” She snapped, pure annoyance in her voice since the dude’s last name wasn’t, by any means, better than hers. “It’s Z-ka-de-li, just so you know.” Now the thought of shearing a drink with him didn’t seem like the right thing to do. 

When Jared could control himself - for the most part - he sucked in a huge breath and stood up straight. He could tell from her tone of voice that he hadn’t won any points with her, and even high, there was a small section of Jared’s brain that knew laughin at her name wasn’t a good plan. He looked down at Audrey as he exhaled, holding his cramping abs as he answered her in as straight a voice as he could muster.

“Maybe a little high.” Complete and utter bullshit - he was pretty damn high and it was nice, but at least he wasn’t drunk. Everyone always thought he was lame when they went out and he cut himself off after two or three beers. The truth was, Jared hadn’t inherited his father’s ability to drink anyone under the table. He was an embarrassing lightweight, and he was glad he could use weed as an excuse to turn down the beer she was clearly going to offer him. He put a serious look on his face as she corrected him, but it was already melting before she got to the end of her words.

“ZEE ka? Like -” Jared snorted and another laugh ripped through the air, his already pained stomach muscles clenching through it. He managed not to fold over this time, and he held out one hand, shaking his head in apology. “I-I’m sorry, it’s- ‘snot-”

But he couldn’t do it. Tears were starting to come down his cheeks. Who knew he could be such a hyena? Damn. One thing was sure - he hadn’t taken a good planning strain of Mary Jane at all.

They Meet || Jared & Audrey

[jared-smokes-blog]

[jared-smokes-blog]

ari0estrada:

Do you ever get the most insane requests? Because I was just asked to commission a painting of giraffes but they’re actually giant dicks.

All the time, man! You should see what people want you to do for their cars. I legit worked with a plumber to install a TOILET in a guy’s seat. A. TOILET!

[jared-smokes-blog]

keelyharper:

Well that’s super helpful. I could use a good mechanic to fix my busted piece of metal. I’m so tired of taking the bus to and from work everyday. I know its a bit unorthodox to ask this way but would you be willing to take a look at it for me? I’ve had her since high school and I don’t want to part with her. I can’t handle teenagers so I teach first grade munchkins. They don’t have a care in the world and its just fun. I got high once and made a bad decision that almost got me kicked out of college so I didn’t do it again.

Turns out I’m actually an excellent mechanic so yeah, I’ll take a look. And i remember first grade having plenty of opportunities for trouble, but I’ll take your word for it. Don’t kids still wet themselves sometimes at that age? How do you even handle that kinda fun? Weed can make us do some crazy things but mostly awesome, don’t give that up!

[jared-smokes-blog]

jacksliam:

Is smoking something that normally helps with focus? I always assumed it was the opposite. 

Not normally, but that’s a common misconception. There’s so many strains out there for so many things - creativity, sex, why not focus? I installed a whole new stereo system for a guy on Lemon jack without breaking a sweat and got praised by my boss for it! It’s really a miracle drug.

[jared-smokes-blog]

chloecavaness:

That doesn’t make sense. Laws are laws for a reason. Why would I want to go against that and risk getting in trouble for something that its appeal can’t even be explained? 

Exactly - it doesn’t make sense. It’s not supposed to, it just is! It’s a giant leap off a cliff but instead of falling, you fly. Don’t tell me you never wanted to fly? 

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rileypark:

Never heard something like that before. All positive properties I’ve heard are more along the lines of, calming effect, pain relief…Were you at work or something along those lines? I can’t see how trying on some new product that you know has the potential to take you out while trying to focus would be a smart decision.

There’s a strain for everything. It’s the wonder drug! I didn’t get all A’s in school or anything like that but I’m not that dumb. Of course I wasn’t at work! I’m a mechanic! If I fuck up at work, it could mean a life lost, plus I love what I do. I always test any new stuff at home. Give me some credit.

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milesyuen:

Why am I not surprised my man? Ha

I know this might be an odd suggestion, but to focus better, can’t you just… concentrate? 

Without smoking?! Dude. Getting married has fried your brain. Do you even know me anymore?! Who are YOU!?!

[jared-smokes-blog]

yourmomsamilf:

My man. The fuck you trying to focus on after taking it? Don’t tell me you did it before work or an exam. 

Why does no one believe weed can focus the brain? There’s a strain out there for EVERYTHING! It’s the miracle drug! If it worked, I was gonna take it before work. Not anymore, bro. Never.

[jared-smokes-blog]

merritt-sage:

So you still smoked it without knowing? That’s not very safe, is it?

I trust my source - they haven’t sold me any laced trash yet. Can’t live without risk. That’s part of life’s beauty. I think.

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sebastian-arroyo:

You’re posting about smoking weed on a government run website? Damn, you must have balls of steel. I think I like you already. You’re definitely invited to my next party.

Balls of steel would be hard to carry around and fucking useless, man, but yeah, I’m down for any party involving good Mary Jane.

[jared-smokes-blog]

kiarabellamy:

I am just surprised I guess? Never really heard anyone in our group talk so openly about drugs? Especially on a government run forum!

Well, somebody had to do it. It’s harmless, a lot of people do it and the government better get used to it! I’m just doing my civic duty, letting my voice be heard. Yeah.