Last Seen Blogs
Text
anyways, ive been doing some self reflection lately due to reasons that are too extensive to disclose :/ but long story short, though life has been fulfilling indeed in academic, financial, and physical terms (which are things 16 year old me desperately wish she had), God has given me more challenges emotionally and mentally
ive been asking myself if ive been the villain in everyone’s story all along, and if ive been wronging the people close to me without intention — part of me is convinced that yes i am the asshole but there weren’t many exit options and that my environment resulted in my actions. The other part of me is shouting at me to “please be sane!”. Surely if im the common denominator in all these circumstances then I am the problem right?
im trying to perceive everything from a bird’s eye view, but its pretty difficult considering the emotional burden that can only be relieved when I tell myself “it’s not my fault”. But what if it is my fault? What if i grow accustomed to being stuck in my ways? What if i grow old and never realize im wrong? What will happen to my loved ones then when my greed and sin is ripened?
i pray and hope everyday that a miracle happens and time either passes by quickly — as time heals all wounds — or i get a second chance and righting my wrongs.
Another part of me is angry, angry that everyone thinks i’m actively playing the bad guy on purpose. why cant they see that im trying my best? im experiencing so many things for the first time and yet remain unforgiven for otherwise, in retrospect, small mistakes
i wish i could be the one to say “let’s put this all behind us”, but i cant. All i can do is go forward whilst trying to make all my choices lead to a better consequence
to everyone ive hurt: im sorry, im sorry beyond words and if you dont forgive me its fine but please let me go forward in peace. weren’t the times we had together great and memorable? then please keep that me in your mind and ill keep your grievances in my heart, as an everlasting reminder to not make the same mistakes
0 notes
Text
just remembered no one follows me here, officially my dump social media!
0 notes