alice-is-ok

[alice-is-ok]

you are 16. you are talking with a gay man in his 50s or 60s, a friend, huge and gentle with a scarf and short fluffy curls of gray hair, who has directed you in two plays staged in your mid-size artsy town. (he has not yet asked you to be in his production of The Laramie Project which will change your life. this conversation will also change your life.)

he is talking about theatre. he is talking about theatre when he was younger. he says, "of course, it was AIDS then." in the pause, you ask him. clumsy and quiet and 16 and "straight," you ask him. what was it like.

he takes a moment in which his face is not like a person's face. "there was a time," he says, "i'm not sure how long, years. when i went to a funeral every weekend." he tells you about two funerals in a day, and choosing between friends when you couldn't make it to both. he does not look at you, he looks at them. his wet grey gaze is so clear that you start to see ghosts. it will be years before you understand why it feels like your grief too. why the ghosts call you family.

[alice-is-ok]

drew this for the anon from last week who said they come back to my crazy:b drawings when they're feeling sad... sorry i didn't respond to it directly, i wanted to keep it close to my heart forever bc it really got to me 😭💛 thank you kind anon i hope these bees can contribute to curing your blues another time..!

[alice-is-ok]

an 8-page rinniki comic i set out to finish for for niki's birthday and i DID

it's sooo hard to write romance idk how some people do it! i need to make a joke every 2.5 seconds or i combust. anyway i hope you enjoyed!! niki is my #1. when i had just discovered enstars and was just looking thru the characters on the wiki my friend showed me niki's autograph signature and was like look it's a frying pan you will probably like him. and they were SO RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

on granola: you can rly play around with the recipe because if you add more honey the granola clumps together more; more peanut butter means it gets crumblier. i've experimented with swapping pb with tahini (great results) and olive oil (meh flavor). i imagine swapping honey for maple syrup could also work but im a honeyhead i cant abandon it... a dash of cardamom with the cinnamon also rules. basically... endless granola!!!!!!

[alice-is-ok]

slow day at cafe cinnamon. bring on the (looks at smudged writing on hand) calico critters discourse

[alice-is-ok]

i’m not aromantic but i believe in their beliefs

[alice-is-ok]

i have tried to be super normal about how much i like the series, but i can't...i can't be normal i like it too much

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normal people

//grainy ass gif cut//

[alice-is-ok]

biologists will be like this is a very simplified diagram of a mammalian cell

chemists will be like this is a molecule

[alice-is-ok]

The thought of Shu and Mika in the Parisian metro was hilarious to me

[alice-is-ok]

[alice-is-ok]

time to live up to my eichi pfp sooo i really felt like drawing my beloveds and some of the new kids

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kiss

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ALL MY FRIENDS ARE DEAD!

[alice-is-ok]

heh i love this group

[alice-is-ok]

i love love love media that loves the world. i want to be reminded that the universe is so incomparably beautiful and complex. i want to be shown that life is messy and broken and it hurts so bad but it’s so so so beautiful and you can’t help loving it anyway. there are people out there, wonderful ones who will stay by your side if you’ll let them. there is the sun and the warmth of it and the light. there is the path between the trees and the sandwich shop down the road and the river in the paddock and is that wonderful and isn’t that worth living for. i love when media tells you it’s okay to be broken and it’s okay to be hurting and it’s okay to live despite it. tell me i am worth saving. tell me to listen to the rain falling on tin rooftops and fall in love with life. tell me that the world loves me too.

[alice-is-ok]

More ivantill crumbs from the artbook :)

[alice-is-ok]

if you abandon gender hard enough you can unlock the secret state of nirvana where all clothes give you the thrill of crossdressing