j3st3rgirl

[j3st3rgirl]

building a clock in broski nation i hope kurtis conner doesn’t cut my eyes out of my head.

[j3st3rgirl]

hey girl, are you minecraft redstone? because i cannot figure you out for the life of me and i fear only a professional may understand you to your fullest extent.

[j3st3rgirl]

proud to say i do judge you based on the books you read. your goodreads is only smut? you have been judged. no i will not alter my judgement. you will be how i see you forever, even after i am dust i shall settle into letters that spell how i once felt. my judgement is once, my feeling is forever.

[j3st3rgirl]

literally forever thinking about morrissey "we're both bisexual. real hip, huh? i hate sex"

[j3st3rgirl]

hey you freaks, WHY r u discussing whether or not people r tops or bottoms. your busted mug could never pull them anyway, perhaps consider NOT sexualizing people who don’t ask for it. freaks.

[j3st3rgirl]

writing this on my forehead everything i wear red bull merch so everyone knows im for the people, not the cunts

I pray for red bulls downfall but not Max’s downfall does that make sense

[j3st3rgirl]

when i was little, i was terrified of people with tattoos, like i would literally cry around people with exposed tattoos. on a possibly related note, i was also raised southern baptist. anyway, occasionally my parents would watch snl, and every time stefon was on, i would feel this horrible anxiety creeping up inside of me like the devil himself was crawling out of hell. this was due to

a) stefon’s shirt sleeves that i mistook for tattoos

and

b) his feminine demeanor alarmed me as i, in my small, rural hometown in ga, had never seen a man with even an ounce of femininity. i also didn’t kno that gays existed.

now, as a woman, i find myself attracted to women with tattoos. the turnaround of the century.

also i had a very deep and unrelenting fear of bill hader to the point that i couldn’t watch anything with him in it, until i remembered my previous fear, and could overcome it.

[j3st3rgirl]

hey sorry for getting really pissy at you earlier because I could hear you chewing. see I have a condition called [remembers pathologizing my behavior is unhelpful] it's actually because I hate you, specifically,

[j3st3rgirl]

need someone to match my freak so hard they let me name our child wanda childa. i’ve already named my daughter and son wanda and childa respectively on stardew valley, but i fear only the naming of real flesh will satisfy my hunger for iconism.

[j3st3rgirl]

YOLANDA SALDÍVAR LMAO

dropping checo was bad enough, not promoting yuki was salt in my sucking chest wound. rbr watch ur backs in miami i do NOT play about my boy yuki. i could retain eyesight after being flashbanged for him. as for checo, penance for him shall be paid after im finished with yolanda.

[j3st3rgirl]

was at the airport this morning on the phone with my mom and i made a joke about lando norris “visually assaulting” me in an ad i saw (i may or may not have a affinity for being over dramatic) and some lady turned around and gave me the dirtiest look like?😭 damn i didn’t kno yall were close like that send him my apologies.

[j3st3rgirl]

i really want to dress up as the grinch and get hired by some family to fake terrorize their children, and then show up with a gun. and maybe take a kid to go. idk.

[j3st3rgirl]

dropping checo was bad enough, not promoting yuki was salt in my sucking chest wound. rbr watch ur backs in miami i do NOT play about my boy yuki. i could retain eyesight after being flashbanged for him. as for checo, penance for him shall be paid after im finished with yolanda.

[j3st3rgirl]

i’m happy to see people acknowledging the fact that stardew valley is NAWT a sweet n cozy farming game, but a horrifying and altogether stress inducing glimpse into sick and twisted psychological warfare that the mortal mind can hardly comprehend. that being said haley and i have been married for two years and i will be playing tonight, thank you.