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My new medication is making me so confused, idk if I have suicidal thoughts or if I’m not, I’ll feel good for a while and then hurl into negative thinking for a moment and go back to normal

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ED things

Almost got in trouble at work for weighing myself in a dog scale 🤭

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Im out of weed :/

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I made an edible today

Ahehehe

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A post shared by kiana azizian poetry (@kianaazizian) on Oct 30, 2019 at 7:10am PDT

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Update

I’m currently 114lbs (I’m 5’) and I’ve never felt better about my body. The only thing I hate is that since I’ve lost such a significant amount of weight my skin is more elastic than it previously was and when I bend over my stomach folds as if there was fat.

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Got high last night

Turns out I won’t die if I mix my anti depressants with weed 🤭🙏🙏

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First time

I’ve never used Xanax before, anyone got any tips? I’m picking up 4 bars. Should I snort it, smoke it, or just take it whole?

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Tomorrow I’m picking up some Xanax from my dealer. I just got a new anti depressant but idt it’s gonna do anything for me tbh... it’s supposed to put me to sleep but, I don’t feel shit 🤷‍♂️

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Tomorrow is my psychiatrist appointment and I’m nervous as shit

I want to tell her everything that has been up with me, but last time I went to her and I told her about my suicidal thoughts she said if I was any of her other patients and if she didn’t trust me she would hospitalize me. I don’t want to be hospitalized. At least not yet, I at least have to get my shit in order and then maybe I’ll consider it but rn I have too much going on. Idk if I should do what’s best for me and drop my shit and goto a hospital or hold out writhing in this same pain.

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I’ve been thinking of buying Xanax or cocaine, but if I did idrk how to use it or anything, Idek if I got that kind of money. My psychiatrist appointment is Wednesday tho so we’ll see what happens

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I like weed but I hate how hungry it makes me