itsnotface24

[itsnotface24]

so cutes and translucent as well

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My mom used to tailgate the shit out of people on the highway until I learned how to drive and called her out on it. She also used to eat cereal while driving (like from a bowl with milk) but I don't think she ever did both at the same time.

have you heard of it!! it's called safe following distance on freeway. yeah it's the new trend that all the. cool&fuckable people are doing. or so ive heard. anyways probably worth trying

[itsnotface24]

types of guns rated by their names

machine gun- 0/10. all guns are

shotgun- 0/10. all guns do

revolver- 10/10 fuck it sure is

[itsnotface24]

When you’re on your way home from the club but one of you almost died

[itsnotface24]

Which is the better base for MMA? Krav Mega or Teakwondo?

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[itsnotface24]

Me at all cats

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hey guys who wants to see a christmas decoration someone in my area put up

[itsnotface24]

I hope every health insurance exec dies from painful and preventable disease

[itsnotface24]

The thing about having liberal boomer relatives is that they're going to share AI generated anti-Trump memes on Facebook.

[itsnotface24]

This reminds me how recently I was laying in bed feeling ill and I overheard my boyfriend and our roommate talking about how the cat smelled weirdly good and I remembered I had been petting him after putting on lotion but I wasn't feeling well enough to call out to them so I just sent a text in the group chat being like "it was me"

You ever been in a state where you physically have no energy, but you're bored and socially understimulated so you kind of wish you could just invite people to come over like this:

[itsnotface24]

We all know what erectile dysfunction is but literally no one is ever taught what vaginismus is and it can cause people to feel extremely lost, broken, and cause people to take their own lives. Raise. Awareness.

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Yeah hey mom I know it's been a while since I called. I have bad news. My cigarette broke in half. Yeah.. yeah Google said no way to fix it either

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“my bonnie lies over the ocean, my bonnie lies over the sea,”

are we talking about the same body of water here, which is weird, or different bodies of water, which is even weirder

[itsnotface24]

Oh come on lady, you can't deny a man his gaycation

[itsnotface24]

One of the most important things you can teach your kids is when and how to say no to authority figures.