itsnits00

[itsnits00]

Pretending (Bucky) Part 2

Summary: After Bucky sees you in bed with Steve, you both need to have a very serious talk about your feelings.

Warnings: None

You quickly jumped out of the bed after Bucky angrily slammed the door, and grabbed the sheets to wrap around your body, clumsily going for the door in an attempt to run after him. But a faint voice made you hesitate.

“Please don’t go...” you turned around to meet Steve’s pleading blue eyes. Despair was written all over his face, but you knew, deep down, that he loved you and you’d never be able to feel the same way. Because Steve was a nice guy, and he’d always be there for you no matter what, but you needed danger and adventure and uncertainty, not the safety and comfort that Steve would offer. You needed Bucky. 

You slowly shook your head in apology, knowing that you might regret this decision one day. But somehow, by looking into Steve’s eyes, you knew that he’d come to forgive you one day. And he knew that too, he loved you too much to hate you forever, so you tightened your grasp on the sheets around your body and shot him one last apologetic glance, knowing that neither of you could speak. 

You opened the door and tried to find Bucky in the hallway, but all you could hear was his distant, light footsteps running away from you with every passing second. So you started running after him, and you finally managed to catch up to him, finding him sat down against the wall, his head between his knees and his hands tightly grasping his hair. You just stood there, not knowing what to do or say.

“Why?” he finally broke the heavy silence, looking up, and you gasped when you took in the silent tears running down his cheeks, his piercing blue eyes filled with an emotion you had never seen there before. Pain? No, you had need pain before. Heartbreak? You weren’t sure. You also weren’t sure what he was asking exactly, and so the words were stuck in your throat, trying so hard to understand the complicated man shattering before your eyes. 

“Why him?” he asked again, and you understood he wasn’t hurt because you had slept with someone. He was hurt because he thought you preferred his best friend over him, just like everyone else had after Steve was injected with the serum. “Because he was there for me like no one has ever been... Because I was hurting and I didn’t know who to go to or how to make it stop. And because I...” you tried to put your emotions into words but he interrupted you before you could finish.

“I was there for you...” he mumbled and for a second you weren’t quite sure you had heard that right. Your eyes widened, and anger started flowing through your veins. “How dare you make this about you?” you whispered, but you knew he could hear you. “You don’t get to do that. If not for you, I wouldn’t have slept with Steve in the first place. And you know what, I’m not even gonna apologize for what I’ve done. This isn’t the 1940s anymore James, I can do whatever I want with my body and you don’t get a say in this.”

“What do you mean ‘if it wasn’t for me’?” he asked, looking genuinely confused but you were blinded by anger to think twice about your answer. “Oh come on, you are such a ladies man, surely you know I like you. But instead of being a decent person about it, you have been playing with my feelings for the past six months and I am beyond done. You may be too scared to let me in but I am not your punching bag and I am not going to let you hurt me anymore.” You couldn’t stop the tears from running down your cheeks, but frankly, you didn’t want to. Let him see the pain. 

He froze completely at your confession and had you not been this upset, you might have noticed that he stopped breathing for a second, desperately trying to compose himself like he always did. But this time was too much, too hard. “I didn’t know” he finally breathed out, and you scoffed. “Well, then you��re blind. And a fucking idiot, and it doesn’t make it any better.” you were crying even harder and he was obviously not sure how to handle it, not knowing how to put his feelings out there. You made it look so easy.

“What can I do to make it better?” he weakly asked, and you laughed through the tears. “You could, for one, not blame me for sleeping with Steve. Not that it’s any of your business, but I did it because you broke me Bucky. Over and over again. And I let you. The way you pretended to love me so easily. I knew that it was all an act but I let it get to me anyway. And this is the only way I found to mend by heart and soul.” you were running out of breath and he was running out of time. You were slipping through his fingers, and he didn’t know how to hold onto you, even just for a while longer.

“Y/N I’m sorry” he tried but you stopped him straight away. “You aren’t. Please don’t say that you are.” You shook your head in defeat. Deep down, you knew that, had he felt the same way about you, he would have said it by now. But you missed the distress in his eyes, you didn’t see him opening and closing his mouth, at a complete loss of words. You didn’t notice the emotions and thoughts battling in his mind, his metal hand squeezing harder than it ever had. He was desperate to just say the words and hold you in his arms, desperate to make it all okay, but he didn’t know how. He had forgotten how to. 

“Please tell me how to make this all better?” You looked up, taken aback by the sincerity in his eyes. For a second you allowed yourself to doubt that maybe it wasn’t just an act. And while it lasted a second, he saw the flash of uncertainty in your eyes and decided that this was his chance. His last chance to maybe convince you to give him the benefit of the doubt. So he grabbed your hand and pulled you into his arm, holding your head firmly against his chest, his pulse resonating in your ear, while his metal arm wrapped around your waist. 

“Do you hear that? Listen to my heart, and tell me that I’m lying.” It was strong and fast, but constant, stable. No jumping, no skipping a beat. Just the accelerated pulse you’d heard over and over again in your own chest every time he paid the slightest attention to you. After what felt like both seconds and ages, you slowly pulled back, looking once again into his piercing blue eyes. Was it possible that...? Before you could finish that thought, he brought his hands to your cheeks, and gently but firmly pulled you in, meeting your lips with his. 

At that moment, time stands still, and you open your eyes wide. You had been dreaming of this for months, and now that it was happening, it was better than you had ever imagined. As the butterflies took over your entire body, you slowly closed your eyes, and kissed him back, sliding your hand around his waist. As his tongue brushed against your lips gently, you heard steps behind you, and a heavy object fell on the ground before a loud gasp. You annoyingly pulled away to turn around and see who you were going to have to murder, and found a speechless Thor, his hammer on the floor next to his feet. 

Bucky slid his hands down to your waist, pulling you closer in a protective way, as you both anxiously waited for his reaction, not sure exactly what to do. You felt relief crashing over your shoulders as a smile grew on his face. “Stark! You owe me dinner!!!” he yelled, before coming to put a hand on Bucky’s shoulder. “Finally. We’ve been waiting for you two to happen for months. Now get a room, some of us have work to do.” He walked away, as you both chuckled. “There’s no way Bucky grew the balls to do anything Thor, stop giving the rest of us false hope” Sam’s voice resonated over the speakers, and you buried your head in bucky’s shoulder, not looking forward to the teasing. 

[itsnits00]

Pretending (Bucky / Steve) Part 1

Summary: You and Bucky have been partners in crime for a long time, but his ability to pretend to be your boyfriend makes you fall for him, and while your heart belongs to him, Steve is always the one to comfort you. Who will you choose?

Warnings: smut (Steve x Reader) NSFW

The mission was going to be an easy, routine exercise. You had been on those a thousand times, the job was simple, go undercover, collect information, and leave without forgetting to put a couple of the tiny cameras Tony had developed in the lamps or around paintings. No one was stressed out, Natasha and Clint were paired up together as usual, and so were you and Bucky. 

It was a combination that had worked a thousand times before because no one ever questioned that you were a couple, madly in love with one another. How could they? Bucky was an excellent actor. Sometimes even painfully so, as you had ended up falling for the way his arms wrapped perfectly around your waist, how his eyes would light up when talking about you your targets, and the way he would act around you while on a mission, his old-fashioned manners making your heart skip a beat every time he held a door for you or pulled a chair when you wanted to sit down.

However, the more missions you went on with him, the more coming back to reality would hurt, especially when he let go of your waist, and took his jacket back because you both had to change into tactical gear. Steve was the only one to notice, and you found a certain comfort in knowing that you had a shoulder to cry on, even if it wasn’t the shoulder you were aching for. 

You had stopped counting how many times Stever quietly snuck into your room with two hot chocolates in the middle of the night when you came back from a mission, knowing very well that Bucky’s fake affection had torn you to pieces once more. Steve quickly became your best friend, and most of the members of the team believed you had more going on between you two. Of course, Steve wouldn’t have minded it if it was more, but he knew you weren’t getting over your super soldier any time soon, and he didn't even try to fight it. It was better that way.

So tonight, when you stepped out of your hotel room wearing the expensive red dress that Tony had given you for the mission, and you found Bucky wearing an all-black tuxedo, with a red handkerchief tuck in the small pocket on his chest, you knew tonight was going to be another one of bittersweet torture and false hopes of anything being any different between the two of you. 

You gave Bucky a small smile, and he smirked as he took in the view of the gorgeous dress falling perfectly on every single curve of your body, but you didn’t see that. If you didn't know better, you would think he actually thought you were pretty, but this was the Winter Soldier we were talking about, and he was way, way out of your league. Out of anyone’s league really. He held out his right hand for you to take, and you smiled again, but chose to walk past him and into the car, not giving him the chance to help you in this time.

“You look great.” he compliments you when he takes a seat next to you, but you rolled your eyes, knowing very well he didn’t mean a word of it. The dress was great, and that was what he meant. He was obviously trying to make small talk, but that wouldn’t be necessary, because Natasha and Clint were finally making their way to the car, her in a gorgeous emerald dress, him in a black tuxedo with a matching shirt. 

“Natasha! Why do you always get the best outfits?” you whine, as she giggles. “I think you’re a bit biased here. Your dress is amazing, and I’m sure Bucky agrees” she replies, winking at him, and you don’t notice his frown, as well as the slight blush on his cheeks. he silently begs her to shut up, and so she does. You all make your way the reception in silence, Clint driving, while you were all going over the last details of the mission separately. 

For the most part, the night went great, and Bucky was once again fooling everyone, including yourself, with his perfect smiles and the way he presented you as his girlfriend, with loving eyes. You could physically feel your heart sink a bit more and simply smiled, as he kissed your cheek. It was too much, he had never gone this far, and it was just plainly and simply cruel. You excused yourself and made your way to the bathroom, where you stared at yourself in the mirror, trying to convince yourself that you could do it.

But the truth is, you couldn’t. You were strong, but not that strong. You breathed in, knowing deep down that you had made your choice, and walked out of the bathroom confidently, and completed the mission by collecting the information you needed and planted all the cameras that Tony asked you to hide around the house. You then decided to grab your jacket and your small bag and left the party without telling Bucky, simply waiving at Natasha, who gave you a sad, knowing smile that you couldn’t bring yourself to care about. 

You took a taxi to the airport, and jumped on the next plane to New York, not wanting to stay in Los Angeles until the next day. When you walked into the compound and through the common room, still wearing your outfit from the party, Steve was still up watching a movie, that he turned off in silent, before following you to your room. 

He sat on your bed, waiting while you took a long, relaxing shower, and no word had been spoken still when you stepped out of the bathroom, your hair still wet, and only wearing short shorts and a tank top. No matter how heartbroken you felt, how inappropriate it was, how impossible it would have been to get the timing any more wrong, Steve couldn’t help his jaw from dropping. You looked beautiful to him, with such raw emotions displayed on your bare face, and quite frankly, with your mostly exposed body. 

You made your way to the bed and gently cupped his face with your soft hands, getting lost in his deep blue eyes as his hands made their way to your waist, where Bucky’s arms had been a few hours earlier. But Steve’s hands were gentle yet strong, protective almost, like you were about to disappear and he was the only thing keeping you in place, safe.

You looked vulnerable, more than you had ever allowed yourself to be or feel around anyone, even Steve. And his eyes were so filled with pure admiration and love? He had been nothing but patient, caring, and respectful with you and you were desperately in need of affection, after having your heart once again ripped out of your chest, thrown to the floor and stepped on by Bucky, that you gave into Steve’s most secret wishes.

He pulled you closer to him, and his lips found yours in the softest, most delicate kiss you had ever shared with anyone. The fragile hesitation was almost painful, as he longed for more but was deeply terrified of crossing an unspoken line. You reached for his hair, pressing your lips ever so slightly closer to his, and that was all the confirmation Steve needed, as he pulled you onto his lap so that you were straddling him, your legs on each side of his hips. 

He wrapped his arms tighter around you, making you feel like you could finally let go, and you moaned softly when he shyly ran his tongue over your bottom lip. He smiled into the kiss, something he had dreamed of for months now. He knew that you weren’t thinking straight, but you were thankful that he didn’t try to talk you out of it, knowing very well that you needed the distraction and the affection more than you needed him to be reasonable. 

And he was ready to give that to you, as he gently started to deepen the kiss, reaching for the bottom of your shirt, and he was about to ask for permission when you silently lifted your arms over your head, looking deep into his eyes one more time, finding all the comfort you needed. He got rid of your tank top, and you took off his shirt, and ran your hands over his perfect chest, wondering if, in a better world, you would have fallen in love with him first. 

“Y/N...” he sighs repeatedly, almost like a prayer, when you place soft, wet kisses all over his jaw and neck, sucking on his collarbone, before coming back to his lips. You frown for a second, almost hesitating, feeling the guilt of using him and his feelings to get over your own, but you push it all back, knowing for a fact that he knows all about how you feel for Bucky.

He wraps his strong arms around your body, and lifts you easily, as if you were nothing, and flips the both of you around so he can lay you down on the bed, and places both of his arms on each side of your head, hovering over you, without ever separating your lips. He isn’t kissing you shyly anymore, he is hungry and passionate and you moan when he bites your bottom lip. He pulls back for a second, making you groan, and chuckles as he reaches behind your back to unclasp your bra, silently asking for permission.

You hesitate for half a second, considering his left arm, wishing it was made of metal instead of perfect muscles and skin, but you nod, knowing that Steve can and will treat you so much better than the man who has done nothing but break your heart and made you cry countless times. Steve never made you cry, not once, and never failed to comfort you when you did. You wrap your legs tightly around his waist, bringing him impossibly close to your body.

He groans at the feeling of your bare chest against his, and even though you can’t help but think about how his chest would feel like, you tighten your grip on Steve’s hair with one hand and let the other make its way down the side of his body, until it reaches his belt, and try to get rid of his pants, but you struggle, making him chuckle, before sitting up, and doing it himself. He keeps his boxers on though, and you bite your lip at the sight of the bulge very clearly forming. That is big... 

He smirks and bends down to reach your stomach, kissing and licking and biting his way down to the elastic band of your shorts, and you moan when he grabs it between his teeth, pulling it ever so slowly down your legs. He throws it across the room, before grabbing your left ankle in his hand, and goes back to laying soft kisses all the way up your inner leg up to your knee. He looks up to you, catching your eyes, and smiles before licking your soft skin up to your panties, and you gasp for air, as he places a simple kiss on the lace, right on your center. 

“May I?” he asks cheekily, looking at you wiggle on the bed, desperate for his touch. You grab his hair and push his head back down between your legs and he chuckles, his breath against your core causing you to shiver. “Alright, alright” he whispers, happy for the first time in months, and you gasp in surprise when he quickly rips the panties off your body, not caring the least bit about destroying it completely. 

“Hey! That was an expens-” you protest but he doesn’t let you finish your sentence, as he licks you folds for the first time, and you scream his name in pleasure. Pride pulses through his veins, and he licks and kisses you until you are deliciously yet painfully close to the edge. He can feel your thighs shaking, and he notices your moans becoming more and more incoherent, understanding just how close you are.

He slides two fingers inside you, and you squeeze your eyes shut, and you know you won’t be able to resist much longer. He sucks on your clit one last time, and curls his fingers inside you, hitting that spot perfectly, and you come undone, screaming his name loud enough for the walls to shake, or at least it feels like it. 

He places one last kiss down there, before pulling out his fingers and licking them seductively, humming in pleasure, waiting for you to catch your breath. When you do, he kisses your lips passionately, and you can feel his bulge pressed against your thigh, making you smile. You reach down to his underwear, and pull them off, wishing you had his strength so that you could just rip it off like he did with yours. 

He helps you wiggle him out of the boxers, and groan into your neck when you wrap your fingers around the base of his erection. You start slowly stroking his length, as you feel him harden even more under your touch, and he keeps moaning and gasping in the crook of your neck, tickling you. “I wanna be inside you.” he finally whispers, and you raise your eyebrows. “Right now?” you ask uncertainly, pulling back to look into his eyes. “Right now...” he answers before catching your lips into another passionate kiss.

You nod, and reach into the drawer of your bedside table, taking out a condom, which he lets you put on his cock, and you make sure to roll it down really slowly, making him sigh as his hips push against your hand, desperate for your touch. You place a kiss on his nipple, and gently bite it, as he tries to gain some control, pushing himself up a little bit on his forearms. 

He lines himself up with you, the tip of his erection rubbing against your core, and you grab his shoulders, preparing yourself mentally. It isn’t your first time, but it is your first time in a while, after having spent the last couple of months hoping for... him. Plus, Steve is not small, and you can’t help but wonder if that’s the super soldier serum.

The thought is pushed straight out of your mind when he pushes himself into you, deliciously slowly, and you both moan together, his head in your neck and your forehead pressed against his shoulder. He gives you a second, as you slowly adjust to him, and when he starts moving inside you, you sigh, feeling pleasure wash over you once again. 

it doesn’t take long for him to reach the edge, and he tries to wait for you, thinking that he’s waited for you long enough already but you decide against it and kiss him one last time before tightening around him, driving him crazy as he comes, his moans are almost impossible to hear, as he bites down on your neck, and you for sure will have a mark there in the morning. 

He continues to move back and forth through his orgasm, eventually pushing you to your climax a second time, and you scream his name once last time, as you both settle in each other’s arms. “I love you...” he whispers in your ear, and all of your muscles tense up at once, as your eyes widen. “Please don’t panic...” he pleas, and you try to find the words to say, as he traces circles on your shoulder with his fingertips. 

“I don’t expect you to say it back, I know you don’t feel that way, but I needed you to know” he explains, avoiding your eyes, as he looks at your lips instead. 

This was a mistake... you shake your head, putting on a fake smile, but you don’t get a chance to say anything, as you hear voices in the hallway behind your door, familiar voices yelling at each other as angry footsteps come closer and closer to your door.

“James, don’t! She doesn’t want to see you, she’s probably upset and she needs to be alone!” you recognize Natasha’s voice, and your eyes go even wider when you see the last person you expected or wanted to see right now swing to door open, freezing at the site of yours and Steve’s naked bodies tightly against one another. “Alone, huh?” Bucky repeats, obvious pain all over his face.

[itsnits00]

Coming into a fandom late

[itsnits00]

so my question is... why the fuck did his arm disappear?

Steve?

Bonus: