itsmekieshanicole-blog
Will certainly get there
from piggynykee to here
Nikki - Kino - Nicole | 18 | UP
Frustrated: Singer | Writer | Cuddler (?)
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Yes. It's me who thought that maybe at the back of your mind you like me as well. But you've proved me wrong. So well, lucky me.
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It's when you see someone give a genuine smile do you ask yourself, "Why am I not as happy this person?"
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I am Nikki, Aistra 12a, from The UPLB ComArts Society
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I've never really romantically liked someone before. I usually end on the "crushing" part. But now, it seems like my deprivation before is paying off, or maybe not.
There are three people in my mind right now. No, I am not a player, though I feel like I am slightly cheating on them, even if they don't have any idea that I actually like them.
Let's name them A, B, and C. Very creative.
A is someone I liked since last semester. I saw him in class and well, he was one of my motivations to not fall asleep. He's deep but funny. He tends to boast about everything but can be cute while doing it. When he doesn't know what to say he rolls his eyes and bits his lower lip. He has a terrible set of teeth but would kill you with his smile since he rarely gives it to anyone. He writes really well. He is a writer. He is a photographer. He is intimidating. When I am around him I want to be at my best. The first time he saw me in a dress, he noticed. The first time I was sick, he noticed. He's good, maybe too good for me. Now what's the problem.
He's getting married.
Soon.
He's too young for it, I know.
But he is.
On summer.
Damn.
And I can't compete with the girl, because there is no competition in the first place. I am nothing to him.
Moving on...
B is someone I find really adorable. She's cute and funny and fluffy. She's so nice to me, to everyone. She's a ball of sunshine. She's smart. She's deep. But behind her smiles are her hang ups. She was badly hurt, or maybe she still is hurting. The same sentiments as always, I like her - she like someone else - that person likes someone else. The same fuckery that's been fucking people for the longest time. Among the three, B is the only one who knows that I like her. Or at least that I have a crush on her.
Then we come to Person C.
C is someone I haven't liked for long. But though it's new, it's the first time I've been vocal to other people about me liking someone. Why did I like him? He's multi-talented, he's passionate about what he's doing, he's socially awkward, and he has chocolate collar bones. That's the sex, the collar bones. Kidding. Now what's the problem? He's in a "complicated" relationship with someone.
Just my luck.
Well, I think it really isn't my time yet. And maybe I need to be, even in the slightest way, hurt now just so I can manage to be someone better when that very someone comes.
And for now, for you A, B, and C.
Too bad for you guys, I bring the sexiest love.
Lalalalalala~
Kidding.
:3
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I'm reading something about muckraking for my COMA 192, a research class. The good thing about the reading is that it leads towards social science so it's not much of a heavy text though there are terms which remind me that it is an academic paper. Well, I'm feeling pretty productive today. But ugh, I have my NSTP1 class tomorrow. After that I'm planning to go to the library to get legit sources for my paper in COMA 104, language and culture - yes, another social science pegged subject. Yey. Then, I'd go for a jog. I hope things would go as planned :3
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People will eventually leave you. Not that they always want to, but sometimes it's just what they need, or so they think. Some might have the sense to actually tell you the reason why, some may just leave you hanging - like baby teeth, still trying to hold on although your real teeth are on their way of showing, of growing, of signifying that you are aging. Maybe I'm just a baby tooth, and that life has outgrown me. But what sucks about this is that no matter how many people leave you, you give your trust to new people. Hoping that they'd give you what you need, that they'd - even in the slightest sense - reciprocate whatever it is that you are feeling. There is no such thing as asking for nothing in return, please. This is not just about romance, that thing is overrated, but imagine living in a world where you always give yourself, your whole, that even if you keep saying that you love yourself more than others and that you know what you are doing things will be a complete mess. Well, life has always been like this and it will continue to be. So, what the hell?
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Sometimes you just have to believe that you are beautiful.
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You are twelve years old, you are talking about having sex, wow. When I was your age all I did was watch the teletubbies while munching on my koko krunch. And I still do this now. Lalala~
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I have always been a fan of long drives, and well, today we had one hell of a ride~
Dad got his new car last 31st, if I can remember correctly, and so - as we have done for his first, mom and dad planned to go to Antipolo. But my little sister and I have always been leeches who would always ruin their teenybopper dates, and also, they can't say no. Lalalala~
But before going there, we decided to meet my first love after a long time. I can barely remember the last time I saw him, all I can remember was how things were: how happy I was, how things would always seem to be right as long as he was there, how I would always laugh because of him. Going back wasn't easy. The moment I saw him I teared up for reasons I still can't reckon.
Want to meet him?
Here he is:
And yes, I am serious, he's my first love. Meet my lolo.
After Loyola in Marikina, we went straight to Antipolo since they've called my lola, wife of my late lolo, and told her we're going to pay her a visit since we're already on our way. The ride there was exciting. There were these kids who would guide you to the church itself and would not ask for anything in cash but would tell you where their stores are, and of course, you must, at least, buy from them. After praying and literally dipping his two arms in holy water, and having the car blessed, we went to this kuya guide's store and bought goods for lola and us there. Everything looked yummy, and yes I confirm, they are goooooooood.
Since it's already past 12, we've decided to grab lunch before going to lola's. From Antipolo, we made it all the way to San Juan for Original Savory. Dad told us they used to eat there a lot when they were kids. I can say the food is really good and the chicken is to die for. Chinese food would always make you go bondat.
After eating, we went straight to Sampaloc, minutes away from San Juan and went to my lola. Her house is where I used to spend all my vacations when I was still a kid, and where I have always bonded with her and my first love, Lolo Oning :)
Everything was hilarious when we got there: the way Mama Tess, this is how we call lola - she thinks being called lola would make her feel old, nagged about everything, how she and mom talked and talked and talked. Just listening to their childish talks made my daaaay.
And since Mama Tess is as generous as ever, I got a vintage bag my Tita Nancy used to always wear when she was still with us. The bag is older than me. And it really looked nice - it didn't look girly at all, perfect. I think I'd be using it for the coming semester. I have always had a thing for vintage~
We bid the goodbyes at around five. And well, went home. Let's add here a little Mcdo drive thru. Lalala~
Today was awesome. More drives please, moreeeeee~
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Here’s to moving on,
‘cause the past was beautiful
but I’m done with it.
Noelle Francisco (via noeeeee)
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Wag nyo irush para chill lang. You guys don't need labels. Masaya naman pala kayong dalawa eh.
I guess that's enough.
Me to older friend na may identitiy crisis.
I am the love guru.
Ats if
The nerd
Lalalalala~
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