isnt-she-a-peach

[isnt-she-a-peach]

[isnt-she-a-peach]

As an atheist, you always believed that there was nothing after death. After your last breath, you discover that you were wrong, but that no one else was right about what’s after either.

[isnt-she-a-peach]

i want an adaptation of hamlet where everything is exactly the same except rosencrantz and guildenstern’s names get increasingly mispronounced and they go from like like “crosenrantz and stuildengern” to “happenstance and gertrude stein”

[isnt-she-a-peach]

The Crows as Dogs

Kuwei: Yorkie; small, vain, mean, and smart as heck. Has the potential to be very scary

Matthias: St. Bernard; big, gentle, good at saving people, and really protective

Jesper: Greyhound; fast, smart, and chaotic vibes

Nina: Afghan Hound; fabulous hair.....

Wylan: Border Collie or Australian Shepherd; smaller, extremely smart, creative, and loyal

Inej: Whippet; intelligent, gentle, and really fast

Kaz: Rat Terrier. Nuff said.

[isnt-she-a-peach]

the eleventh doctor is third wheeling literally every day of his life and we love that for him, but honestly? the real third wheel is rory.

"ah yes just me, my wife, my wife's boyfriend, and my wife's boyfriend's wife who just so happens to be our daughter"

[isnt-she-a-peach]

six of crows/crooked kingdom, leigh bardugo // never gonna give you up, rick astley

[isnt-she-a-peach]

Do you think the D*rkling was excited for each update to the Malina epistolary romance? 👀 udakdcuhae I wonder if he pretended they were meant for him

"Dear Aleksander, you are my true north, I will always find my way back to you"

"Dear Aleksander, you are my home, I can't wait for you to come to the Little Palace so we can be together again"

Maybe that's why he was so broken up when Alina left lol cause he had created this fantasy world in his head I'm-

[isnt-she-a-peach]

Crows on GBBO

This AU is the brainchild of my friend and I procrastinating on our work

jesper: wins on showstopper bc he has flair, but last on technical. somehow still in the competition

inej: lots of spices, always complimented on flavors, always solid in the technical

wylan: first in the technical always, measuring things, no clue what spice is

nina: always incorporates waffles (the judges don't know how either), decent on flavors because she loves dessert

matthias: eliminated first, terrible at baking but got chosen bc he's hot

kaz: weirdly good at signatures and technicals, showstoppers are always minimal but elegant

specht and rotty: the hosts, they don't know why they're here but at least they're getting paid

the triumvirate: the judges, and nikolai keeps joking around with the hosts and bakers

bonus

kuwei: a mess. absolutely sets everything on fire using his inferni powers. his stand is next to wylan's and it is always stressing him out

jesper tries to flirt with wy by eating one of his treats but it's kuwei's and kuwei smugly looks at wylan when jes says "this is the best thing i've ever eaten" as wylan attempts murder with his eyes

[isnt-she-a-peach]

rip jesper he would've loved "love shack" by the b-52s

[isnt-she-a-peach]

Jesper Llewellyn Fahey: giving a whole new meaning to "son of a gun" since 2015

[isnt-she-a-peach]

hey, Matthias was right: his ghost doesn't associate with everyone else's ghosts because he's the only one who has one

[isnt-she-a-peach]

Kaz really was like: "We'll be kings and queens, Inej, kings and queens." as if they already weren't? My dude, you will respect her majesty Inej Ghafa or die by my sword

[isnt-she-a-peach]

How much more tragic would Hamlet be if Horatio dies instead of Hamlet? Maybe he sacrifices himself to save him, maybe he doesn't, but no matter what, his death is directly caused by Hamlet's selfishness. The plot is relatively the same from here, with the roles reversed: Hamlet tries to drink the rest of the poison to follow him, and Horatio, being the kind, selfless person he is, knocks the goblet out of his hand, because he knows, he knows how much Hamlet truly wants to live. He dies in Hamlet's arms, and Hamlet, who began the play thinking he had nothing left to lose, realizes exactly what he's lost. Because here is the man he loves, the only true friend he had, and he's dead because of Hamlet. Fortinbras enters and sees the last member of the Danish royal family, a grieving, half-mad child, and easily takes the throne. Maybe he deems Hamlet harmless enough that he spares him, or perhaps he executes him, but Hamlet spends the rest of his days, however many or few they are, suffering from the consequences of his actions, his story untold.

[isnt-she-a-peach]

after Family of Blood like: oh the Doctor isn’t drinking his “respect Martha” juice so i guess i have to 🙃

[isnt-she-a-peach]

peter, in the backseat of the car: wanna play a game of i spy

happy: sure, whatever, kid. you go first

peter: ok i spy with my little eye something red

happy: is it your suit

peter: nope, it’s also warm and sticky. it’s blood. my blood. i’ve been stabbed

happy, swerving: wHAT-

[isnt-she-a-peach]

six of crows: no mourners no funerals crooked kingdom: five mourners one funeral

[isnt-she-a-peach]

There’s this princess of a small island somewhere far from Camelot and she’s rumored to be the most beautiful woman in the world (a la Buttercup from the Princess Bride). Obviously, this means that Uther’s gonna try and betroth her to Arthur cause that would be such a flex. She gets there and has a veil on and there’s all this suspense and everyone’s all curious to see what she looks like. They’re all holding their breath as she lifts it and- “Merlin?!” Turns out she had been undercover as a peasant to see the political climate of the surrounding kingdoms at the same time Merlin was passing through. She’d been in the process of getting mugged when Merlin stepped in and saved her. They spent a few days in each other’s company, since he needed more supplies and she didn’t have anything better to do, and they grew to quite like each other. So much so, in fact, that she offered to marry him and make him prince consort. He respectfully declined and they parted ways as friends, but not before he taught her how to defend herself and she gave him a sack of gold big enough to buy Ealdor.

Cut back to the present where everyone is like “??? how did this country bumpkin land this princess????” while she and Merlin spend a few days catching up. (She and Gwen would be besties fight me) Arthur’s still trying to woo her or whatever cause ofc Uther’s not gonna stop just because she’s cozying up to his manservant.

He doesn’t do a very good job and Merlin finds it hilarious.

They don’t end up marrying, but a treaty is tentatively established and she leaves Merlin with a standing proposal.

They absolutely stay in touch.

dude i’ve been thinking about this forever but in the 1st merlin ep on his way to camelot merls passes someone on a horse wearing chainmail and i can’t help but imagine merlin running across/charming knights before he got to camelot?? like imagine you’re a knight doing a routine patrol and you meet some kid traveling, normal, but then you get back home and this skinny punk is now running around ostensibly serving the prince but mostly insulting him and you’re like “..... hey wait. yOU” 1/2

omg, omg. Wait. This is marvelous. There could be an entire fic of just oneshots about Merlin meeting various people on his way to Camelot only for them to turn up to Camelot later.

Like you said, one can a knight who is just utterly bewildered that this gangly kid saved the prince like what? And he got a place in the royal household? My lord, I met this boy and he tripped in a puddle and got a bloody nose? And Arthur is listening like ‘yeah, that checks out’ and at one point Leon goes to Arthur like ‘yeah, I’m pretty sure I met your servant when I was on patrol once. He gave me an apple and said I had pretty hair’. This turns out to be a pretty universal experience. Merlin had won them all over before stepping foot within the kingdom.

Then there is a there is this shady trader that comes by when Camelot is plagued with illness. Gaius needs this rare plant to create a remedy and only this one trader has it and won’t give it to them. Uther is threatening him, but the trader is just like ‘if you kill me you can’t get the damn pla - Merlin? My God, do my eyes deceive me?! Merlin, is that you?!’ and Arthur is baffled as to how this random trader knows his servant only for the trader to be like ‘yeah, I met him when he was heading to Camelot forever ago. He helped me rob some bandits and then we got drunk and somehow figured out how to talk to God. Btw you guys can have these plants for free. No big deal. I hadn’t realized you knew Merlin!’

Later on, Uther hears of the finest cook in the five kingdoms and this lady HAS to come cook for them. He summons his knights to bring her to him for a grand feast and offers to pay her lots of money. She’s a little hesitant at first, but stops in the middle of the conversation because ‘MY GOD! IT IS YOU!’ and just freaks out upon seeing Merlin. Turns out that on his way to Camelot, Merlin spotted some lost kid and decided to help the kid look for his mom (using a little bit of magic to ward off various threats). He returned the child and went on his way... except, well, he didn’t think about what the child might tell his mom (who is the cook in question)... so now everyone gets to hear this child’s retelling of Merlin single handedly taking down a lion with his bare hands (thank God the kid hadn’t noticed the magic). Or how he managed to convince an army of Saxons to let them pass through their camp by offering them cheese. Arthur is outraged by these tales.

Then, this other knight comes to Camelot. He too recognizes Merlin except this man is enraged and has his sword out ready to fight. Everyone wants to know what happened and the knight spits out this tale of Merlin tricking him into doing all these awful things before trapping him in a well and leaving him for dead. Arthur turns to Merlin to ask ‘Is this true?’ and Merlin pauses before going ‘Yeah, except he’s leaving out the most important part of the story... the guy kidnapped me’ and that’s how Arthur learned his servant had been casually kidnapped on his way to Camelot.

A renowned blacksmith pops by and ‘Oh, Merlin is that you? How fun! Are you still fighting with those knives I made you? Ah, good lad. Hm? Oh, I ran into some trouble awhile back and this boy here shot six men down with only three arrows! It was amazing. Naturally, I figured he should have some knives in case any of his future attackers are up close’

Another famous singer comes to Camelot only to be like ‘Merlin how wonderful that you’re in Camelot as well! We had such a swell time together, didn’t we? I got lost in the forest and this gentleman here accompanied me back home. It was so much fun!’

Some noble pops by and is annoyed because ‘that’s the peasant I lost all my money to in a card game a few years back, my lord.’

Lastly, imagine if Charming Knight™️ was PRINCE Charming of another kingdom. Even better, Prince Charming was on his way home when he encountered some sort of danger and some wondrous sorcerer just happened to help him out. When learning that this boy was heading to Camelot he warned him of the dangers Uther holds for his kind, but could not persuade the boy to change course. So... of course, they part ways... but he never forgot about the charming, young sorcerer.

Fast forward. Arthur is talking about this visiting prince he LOVES. Prince Rowan is his bestie since childhood and they never get to see one another except on formal occasions bc their kingdoms are so far and Merlin you must behave bc if Rowan sees you going around being an idiot he might think less of me, etc... And Merlin is like ‘sure, sure’ except... Welp. Rowan looks mighty familiar and holy shit that’s the prince from before... There’s no way he can recognize him, right? It’s been so long.

Wrong. Rowan 100% does and pulls Merlin aside to figure how the Hell a sorcerer is working for the prince. Merlin explains and Rowan is like ‘....fine. I guess I like you anyways’

And poor Arthur is affronted because suddenly Rowan is over there acting like Lancelot 2.0 with constantly hanging around his servant and the giggling and the soft smiles and ugh. It doesn’t help that Merlin is obviously so smitten by Rowan since ‘oh, he’s so charming and polite! I don’t know how he’s friends with you, Arthur’

At the end of it all, Arthur is just like “how long did it even take you to get from Ealdor to here?” And the two acceptable answers Merlin can give are “two days” and “a year” 😂

This is just such a fun idea lol. Thank you for sharing it!