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Cats and Tumblr Photoset

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I genuinely believe that if a whole city is not safe, you should reblog every post you see a horrible situation, to let everyone know that it��s not safe.

If any of your followers are in SYDNEY CBD, and they haven’t heard anything on the hostage situation in Martin Place, then here is a post to let everyone know that you should stay as far away from the city as you can, until it’s safe. To everyone in Sydney, please stay aware, alert & stay safe.

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Hybrid wolfdog is very protective of the new kitten.

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OkCupid is wild

Original post by talizorah-vas-rannoch.

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It’s all about falling in love with yourself and sharing that love with someone who appreciates you, rather than looking for love to compensate for a self love deficit

Eartha Kitt (via psych-facts)

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Do you blame anything for triggering your bipolar episode? I have bipolar and am trying to figure it out. and feel less alone.

Let me just start this by saying that I am by no means a trained official, a medical or mental health doctor, or any other sort of psychological authority. Again, I am NOT an expert to be quoted. But I will tell you what I know and what I have experienced:

I am 20 years old. It seems that 20-25 are crucial years for mental health. My family has a lot of mental illnesses in it, including, but not limited to, bipolar disorders, schizophrenia, schizoaffective disorders. I am genetically predisposed. I do not have Bipolar 1 or 2, but rather a mood cycling disorder within the bipolar category (I experience my highs and lows every day, however, for about a year I was depressed, and all the other years it seems I'm mostly manic).

[Just as "boy/man" and "girl/woman" are socially constructed, so is sex. This is a much longer conversation for another time, but the point remains that although I use a language of sex and gender binaries, I do so for the ease of mainstream speech.] "Men" experience much of their mania in a "high". Mania has a lot of energy and it's extremely fast paced. However, this seems to look "positive" or "high," whereas women experience mania as irritation.

I have been irritated, angry, stressed and on edge my whole life. When I was 13 several major negative events happened in immediate family, including a loss of my closest relative. I don't really have memories before 13.  I was still irritated and whatnot through high school, but I started becoming depressed. The summer between my freshmen and sophomore year in college (19 years old) I just felt extremely lonely. Not at first. At first I just spent less and less time with people and more and more on Tumblr and on Netflix. I didn't realize it, but I had hit a major low point. Lower than ever before. I only really had one friend I talked to every day and would hang out with. When our friendship ended I couldn't handle it. Even though I was part of clubs and orgs and a full time student, I just felt lonely.

This whole year I've felt really fucking lonely. I didn't realize it, but trying to soothe this loneliness just make me smoke a lot and have a lot of reckless sex. 

I finally took myself to the campus counseling services and forced myself not "to be positive" or to "get better," but because the minutes I spent awake felt like hours, and I didn't know how to fill them and I got bored and lonelier and furthered living in my head. 

Long story short: I am genetically predisposed, have lived through an extremely dysfunctional household, and have been living under stress for a decade. I felt like my willpower dipped without saying goodbye. And I felt like that for a year. All Spring quarter I forced myself to walk around campus as much as I physically could. I can't seem to really do anything about my moods when I'm in them, but I can now spot when I feel a "transitionary" mood, which feels oddly empty, and I can prepare myself. I've learned how to anchor myself. I've learned what is healthy for me. I think the things that really trigger an episode, for me at least, are the larger feelings of loneliness and/or stress. Trying to pinpoint what were certain events, for me, relate more to closure than to progress. Although I need closure to progress, the closure itself is not enough. The understanding is not enough. I break when my stress is too much, and from there I either feel lonely or on top of the world. 

A therapist I was seeing (who was very helpful and wonderful) showed this to me: Safety Plan. I resisted it at first, but now I see it's a sheet for those who care about me, not me documenting my most intimate "flaws." 

I don't care if it's cheesy. Things like that have given me more perspective and have aided in my journey to feeling a balanced and good life:http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2006/09/27/top-ten-terrific-things-about-bipolar-disorder/http://www.bphope.com/Item.aspx/915/accentuate-the-positive

You're on anon and I would be, too. If you send me a message with a way to contact you I'll keep it private. 

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True story.

I just wanted a refill on my Sprite. 

That’s all I wanted.

and I would have done anything for it

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I love your writing and I hope that you feel better soon. When you do start writing I will read. Stay strong

Thank you so much

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im done

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*tries to act cool by not texting back right away but forgets and never texts back*

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I hope everything gets better for you. I've missed you and your writing a lot, but take all the time to make sure you're better :)

I truly appreciate the support. Thank you.

Things have been lookin' up. I'm hoping to start pumping stories out again. #hopeful #haha #stillhavethebestfollowers

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The Last 8 Months

Trigger Warning: Mental illness 

An explanation and update to my followers

I started this blog in the summer of 2013. I don't love it any less now than when I created it, but I haven't been updating because I've been living the most recent "wind" of my bipolar disorder. 

In the last few weeks I've entered a space of some clarity and I'm taking charge of my life. I was in an extremely depressive state for the last two quarters of my academic year and essentially through the summer before that. I've recently started seeing a doctor and I'm hoping to get my life together/the beginnings of together before this academic year is up and I'm back off to my home town. 

I appreciate everyone's continued interest and support all these months. I love each and every one of my followers, and I promise you all the 'literotica' I can write once my shit gets together -- I've been having some pretty hot sex regardless of the shit-wirlwind that has been my life this year, so, you know, I'll be sure to add some new dets to da new workz.

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Let’s not talk about it…