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sorry that my pussy is so wet and soft and inviting and my heart is pure and full of whimsy. as if it’s my fault.

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Ppl who wanna change their name but don't know what name they wanna change it to or don't know what sounds good/suits them or whatever should be able to get paired with a girl who has 5,000 hours logged on the Sims. Like going to see an ancient oracle or something.

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at the club developing transatlantic accents

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yesssss!!!!!!!

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My manager was in the break room with me and she said 'I don't ever remember oranges being THIS hard to peel' and I just responded 'they're making them harder to peel' without thinking and she looked and me and said. Why?

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yeah. i've got the wikipedia page for rat. on cassette.

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LMAOOO

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This

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there's this fucking tik tok that i keep seeing and it's one of those "meet the friend group" shitty thirst traps and it's 6 dudes right and you got the punk boy (okay fine whatever ) and the elegant boy (what would we do without him) and then there's the fucking ventriloquist and the video just continues on to the college boy and the nerd boy (why are these two different boys?) but i'm still caught off guard by the fucking ventriloquist like this dude just straight up has a muppet of himself and he's not even like doing a ventriloquist thing he just has it and is lip syncing to the song and he has the muppet and that's him he's the ventriloquist that's his thing. there was nothing else for him to be he's just the ventriloquist of the friend group. i cannot stop thinking about this. The Ventriloquist.

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My fujoshi landlord is kicking me and my partner out because she didn't agree with who was supposed to be the uke in the relationship

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25,11,2024