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[irl-clarice-starling]

Hannibal/SoL fandom I have a question.

What perfume would modern day Clarice Starling wear?

In the book and movie she wears L'Air du Temps (which I own and wear on very special occasions bc I'm that bitch) but it's definitely what most people would describe as like an old lady perfume but given that the book first came out in 1988, it was a 40 year old fragrance as opposed to today where it's almost 80??? I think.

I've thought about this so many times and I think to myself a lot about if that first Hannibal/Clarice interaction was translated to the NBC series what she would be wearing instead.

Any input would be spectacular!

[irl-clarice-starling]

Kind of want to post about my OC's but also like I'm really nervous/embarrassed bc I know they're not super great and I don't wanna get flamed lol

[irl-clarice-starling]

funny story

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I absolutely love The Suckening so far (haven't finished it yet, ik I'm the worst) but the urge to tattoo 'from the top rope, my prince' somewhere on my body is S T R O N G (more realistically a magnet for my car)

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Save me toxic vampire yaoi

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little bird

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| I'm in love with Will Graham

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a shilo bathory phenomenon i have noticed

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Ok I have questions that were probably answered in the show/during a panel BUT here we go

1. Wtf was up with the meat Will gave Hannibal that he was pretending to pass off as Freddie Lounds? Hannibal has an insane sense of smell, he would know that it wasn't actually human. Did he pretend to not be aware that it wasn't human? Was it actually human meat that Will brought and if so who was it from/where did he get it?

2. Cassie Boyle - the Hannibal wiki says Hannibal killed her because she blew cigarette smoke in his face- this raises several questions. Hannibal is very mindful about what he puts into his body so I seriously doubt he would eat the tar coated lungs of a smoker, not to mention Cassie Boyle was around Abigail's age so barely old enough to be able to buy cigarettes. What did Hannibal do to warrant getting smoke blown into his face? Its such a purposeful action so there had to be a catalyst that led to it. Was she even intentionally blowing it into his face or did Hannibal stumble up on Cassie Boyle choking on her very first cigarette ever and using it as an excuse to butcher an innocent girl so he can leave Will a trail of fucked up breadcrumbs? (I have a lot of feelings about Cassie Boyle)

I'm sure there are more and I'm sure some if not most of these have answers so *shrugs*

[irl-clarice-starling]

Never wanted to be anyone’s controversially younger girlfriend more then I want to be his

[irl-clarice-starling]

Habit x Bimbo! reader headcanons

He loveees how ditzy you are. He already views humans as weak, but with how naive you are it makes him want to protect you ten times more. 

He almost always has an arm wrapped around your waist or over your shoulders, pulling you tight to him if anyone else is visiting. He also finds any reason to have you sit in his lap, pulling up your skirt so your panties are up against his jeans. He doesn’t care if company is over, he needs to show them you are his. 

Speaking of, he loves seeing you in skirts. He will purposely drop and knock things over in front of him and politely ask you to pick them up for him. He loves seeing the way your panties poke out as you bend over, your skirt riding up and exposing your ass to him. He will do this multiple times a day, and you always pick them up for him. 

He is so used to dealing with stupid people on a daily basis that he has started to grow a hatred for them, stupid ass humans who can’t seem to realize the simplest thing. But his opinion changes once he meets you. He could tell from the moment he first met you there was not a lot going on in your head, but that’s okay! He loves how dumb you are, you never ask questions about what he does and you believe all the lies he says. 

He loves the way your eyes light up and how eagerly you nod along when he suggests you suck his dick. He doesn’t even have to outright say it sometimes, he can just suggest it and you will bite your lip and agree instantly. He uses it as an excuse to cure the random symptoms he gets. 

“Wow this headache really hurts. I wish there was some way to help with it.”

“Oh my god, are you okay Habit?!”

“I think so. I really think it will get better if you let me cum in your throat though."

And you believe it and drop down to your knees, tugging off his pants at record speed just so his headache will go away. You would be a bad girlfriend if you didn’t try to help your boyfriend's pain after all!

He doesn’t even have to corrupt you, you follow every command he says instantly. If he says to get down, you instantly drop to your knees and have your tongue out for him. If he says to bend over you bend and flip your skirt up, looking back over your shoulder at him with a smile.

He loves how obedient you are and will reward you for it. He’ll eat you out until your a sobbing incoherent mess, too overstimulated and fucked out to form full sentences to beg him to stop.

And he teases you endlessly for it.

“Aw, is it too much for you baby? You know I'm just rewarding how good of a slut you are for me, just cum for me one time, okay?” He lies and you just nod along as tears pool in your eyes, too dumb to realize he says this every time. He makes you cum 4 more times after this promise.

[irl-clarice-starling]

Maybe it's just my proximity to middle age, but for my money, Halsin is the most attractive romanceable character in BG3 by a mile. He's kind. He's courteous. He takes responsibility for his mistakes and undertakes to fix them without roping you into a bunch of drama about it and then goes on to help you save the world just because he likes you. He's a leader with a healthy ambivalence about leadership. He's effectively an eco-socialist with deep and abiding convictions about the treatment of the underprivileged, especially children. He is passionately romantic about you while also decrying the constraints and jealousies compulsory monogamy. AND he's built like a brick shithouse and will fuck your brains out. I'm just not seeing what's not to love about this man.

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Anon asked: mayhaps an astarion x (fem) reader who’s a really powerful wizard 👀 she just wants to help her man with her horrifying powers 😤🤚

Say uhh LESS. I'm in.

Pairing: Astarion x Wizard!Reader

Word count: 1.2k

Warnings: A described cough. Hella spoilers for unascended Astarion and like... all of BG3.

A/N: Look y'all I'm a D&D nerd since I was like 11, I use a lot of homebrew content in my games, and I'm obviously gonna transfer that over to my writing. Please enjoy, if there are any grammar errors or anything just shoot me a message and I'll be happy to fix it!

The Sunwalker

Sure learning your trade took the entirety of your childhood, bargaining with deities that never had a direct line of contact with you unless it worked in their favor and countless years of schooling yet to come. But becoming a wizard of your home in Candlekeep, the mysterious city filled with knowledge and spired fortresses. You pride yourself in being one of the most accomplished wizards in the city, consistently having new faces appear in your lectures that you only knew rivaled a certain wizard based in Waterdeep.

It was a night after one of your lectures that you found yourself abducted, stuffed into a nautiloid and infected with a magical illithid tadpole. It took what felt like eons to fight your way out of your predicament and find yourself finally at the end of your adventure out on the docks of Baldur’s Gate overlooking the Sword Coast. Your life had been so straight forward for the weeks that the tadpole had infected you, it was almost a blessing you thought. Finally you had a reason to leave your home, not feeling as though you were stuck in your tower and finally having the sense that you had accomplished something that changed the world. This unfortunate event brought you to him.

With the weight off your shoulders of becoming a mindflayer you completely forgot the benefit the parasite brought to your partner. As you turned to Astarion hoping to see his matching smile, you were met with a face of anguish and fear. The ash rising into the air caused your heart to drop into your stomach.

“What the- oh gods. Oh no.” His glazed over eyes bore into yours almost as if to say goodbye. Your mouth opened hoping to reassure him but he continued before a thought was able to be formed.

“Well… it was nice while it lasted.” The fear in his voice was ever present, as quickly as he began his words he shot off into the city looking for a dark corner to hide in. After everything you had gone through, taking down Cazador and facing his past, he was back where he started. Hiding in the shadows.

No. You shook your head. There has to be something I can do. Research. We have to find a way to get him his life back. You had made that promise to him, it was time to live up to it, regardless of how long it takes. 

It started in the cellar, you had promised Astarion you would stay by his side no matter what and you were going to see this promise through. Three months, it had been three months since you had returned to Candlekeep, newly minted free-willed vampire in tow.

Astarion made his home in your tower, pretending to be a helpless princess during the day after you had insisted on every window being backed out. It took countless nights, and a lot of coaxing but in the end you finally had options. There was one particular night where you woke up in a cold sweat, disturbing him from his meditation.

“Star, please.” You pleaded.

“No no no! No way am I going out like THIS. If you expected a “thank you” for making me look like a Sharran, you’re sorely mistaken.” He stood in front of you, dressed head to toe in a cloak of darkness, only showing part of his eyes. Astarion didn’t take your suggestion well and you could tell under the layers that he was absolutely fuming.

A few nights later he gained consciousness only to find you perched over a grimoire that glowed like the sun. He felt the pit in his stomach, feeling guilt for being the reason you hadn’t had a good rest for ages. Then he heard a snore. To say that caught his attention is an understatement, there was a grin playing on his lips with a chuckle threatening to bubble out from his throat.

“Darling?” He asked, slowly padding his way to your sleeping form.

You had a response ready but only heard a mumble come out. Your mind is too preoccupied in the sweet slumber you’ve been overdue for. Astarion took his chance to place a thick blanket over you, knowing you’d freak out with him carrying you to bed.

The warmth hit your body in a layer of relaxation, what you hadn’t noticed was the beginning words of an incantation you were unconsciously performing.

“O anulum facultatem ambulandi em sole, notum fac te ut demean te.” Your words went in and out, Astarion thought you were trying to speak to him. His eyebrow rose as he understood some words, taken aback he began his descent down the tower to go on his hunt.

“Why are you asking for a ring? I mean I would get you one but…” He ensured the security charms were still up before blowing out the last candle and leaving the tower. Each step further from you caused the pang of guilt to grow deeper in his stomach. You were doing so much for him, someone who would have killed you in the past. Why me?!

With your tower now in the distance he hadn’t noticed the radiant light pouring out from the upper decks of the tower with a loud boom.

The sunlight hit your face at the right angle, filtering in from behind the tapestry you’d hung up over the window ages ago.

Something tastes funny.

The metallic flavor in your mouth was sending your senses into a fritz upon waking. Had you not coughed you wouldn’t have noticed, you had to get your bearings, standing and leaning over your desk. Mouth agape, almost heaving over the surface and shutting your eyes to brace for something you didn’t know.

A clatter.

You tried to wipe the sleep from your eyes but were in a shock as you took in the details of the ring that you had held in your mouth for nearly the whole night. Pure gold with different personifications of the sun placed around it.

“I… what?!” The grimoire you read last night was still open to the page you had left on.

Ring of the Sunwalker This ring can be worn by anyone, not giving any seeming bonus. However, when it is worn by a vampire or a being with sunlight sensitivity, they no longer take damage from sunlight.

Astarion had begun running to your shared room the second he heard your struggled chokes. He was half expecting to see you collapsed on the floor in pure agony. But the dopey look on your face was enough to break him from his state.

“W-what did you do?!”

“This.” You held up the ring, your smile growing more enthused, causing Astarion to scrunch his face.

“If this is a proposal I’m not sure if I’d accept you see I—”

“Shut up.”

“Excuse me?!”

“Astarion, give me your hand. Please.” There was a pleading tone in your voice that gutted him.

His hand was held out, almost shaking with the anticipation of what was to happen next. You held onto him, going up to your observation deck, the last length of the hallway completely blacked out.

You gave his hand a reassuring squeeze before he reached for the door, tears brimming in his eyes. The warmth of the sun meeting his skin like a hug from an old friend.

“You damned wizard. You actually did it.”

[irl-clarice-starling]

yall remember when david harbour played that slutty ass santa in violent night

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[irl-clarice-starling]

like father, like son