iris444x

[iris444x]

midsummer musings

the first day of midsummer came the day after i left you. before it was nothing but thunder, whilst rainy heavens wept blue. but now my skies are clear and my horizons green, free of your troposphere, what does that mean?

— iris

[iris444x]

tender is the flesh

(tw: womanhood under this mf patriarchy) tender is the flesh of the girl who hardly has any; starving to impress, so the men at her feet will be many. tender is the flesh of the girl who drags a razor down its path, so that when she wears the short dress her legs are barer; smoother than brass. tender is the flesh of the girl who tattoos herself, self harm is "too ugly", so sterilised "stick n' poke" needles press into her skin, wishing it were her feelings that were sterilised, "please, God, drug me." tender is the flesh of the girl who does just that; heroin, coke, weed to transgress her pains too deep, too large, too abstract. tender is the flesh of the girl who traces it with her fingertips, bare; imagining the lines she draws weren't requests, made by herself, to herself, silent, without air. and tender is the flesh of the girl who feels hers is poison; "was it a man?" "who else could it have been? yes!" and destroys it in anguish, till with blood it moistens. all the daughters of this sad new age cry to their moms with a common rage it's not fair, don't you see? something needs to change! or tender the flesh will always be.

— iris

[iris444x]

meditations of an unknown lover (?)

i love you, but you don't know me: at the party, your faded aphrodite as you pass me a beer, and in my lap you place it, forgetting that i only drink beer when i'm too drunk to taste it i love you, but you don't appreciate me: when my body is the only thing you see, as i lean over you on that park swing, a wilted rose not by virtue of my beauty but by volume of my poison, measured in woes i love you but you don't understand me: you fight when i'd flee, you sniff all your lines but i meditate mine - don't you see? here are my meditations given up for you, see them, their explanations: why one heart broke into two.

— iris

[iris444x]

moving on // a vicious cycle

when i left you it felt like trying to outrun the sun - you were everywhere; you still are, a lingering wish we weren't over and done. the sun and the moon sustain themselves on estranged axes, but now and then eclipse like you and me, intertwined on hotel mattresses. this is what it means to outrun the sun with mortal dreams that can never be won; moving on is a vicious cycle running souls around in its downward spiral; trapping their tears in arachne's web - tears you sow - fuck you, seb

— iris

[iris444x]

untitled superstitions

you said you didn't love me but my tarot cards told me you did, i know i'm delirious, wild, volatile, an intrepid little kid. but guess which of the two i'll choose to believe, since believing is a choice now, though my happiness it thieves

— iris