iris-ofparadise - Tumblr blog

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really love dynamics that are like 'it honestly doesn't matter if you view them as romantic or platonic, the point is that they love each other. the type of love is inconsequential, all that matters is that it's there'. gotta be one of my favorite genders.

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This scene fucking killed me. Jack keeping his fingers on Belle's pulse all night just to make sure she was still alive is such a romantic yet sad little detail. Man probably didn't get an ounce of sleep that night. 😭

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If you even feel half the way I do about you… I don't. You don't? I feel it ten times more.

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Jack & Belle - It's the sass for me (5/?)

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having to come to terms with the fact that love is not an everlasting performance in which you attempt to retain the attention of your significant other but rather a release of control and putting faith into them and trusting them to choose to stay with you no matter what you have to offer

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Mieko Kawakami, Heaven (translated by Sam Bett and David Boyd)

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The reason reputation relates so well to zoyalai is because reputation as an album is fundamentally about loving someone and being loved at your worst, even when your reputation is terrible, and that is a very apt way to describe zoyalai, with the way zoya believes nikolai's too good for her and the way nikolai loves zoya's sharp edges and in this essay i will

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every time i open rule of wolves to read a zoya or nikolai chapter it’s too much for me why do i read this stupid beautiful poetic crap

i mean this affectionately of course…

for example. i open it at breakfast. i read nikolai thinking “zoya should be here” on the morning of what the readers are convinced to believe is his wedding and touching her blue ribbon that he has kept in his pocket. i die.

(also he literally reacts to half the stuff in that chapter by thinking of zoya. i just— poor thing he needs her back :((((

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if leigh bardugo is not writing king of scars a third book because of anything plot related could someone tell her we would all gladly read 600 pages of nonsensical fluff literally she could just sit down there write the sappiest cannonest bullshit and id eat it all up

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me explaining through my tears that zoya's and the darkling's dynamic goes way deeper (in the books) and it says a lot about zoya's relationship with authority and power but also safety as a whole because of the (almost) parental nature of their relationship like the darkling is already playing favorites with her by the time she is 13

they are close enough for him to pick her over a lot of the older grisha's at the little palace for the possibility of getting an amplifier something we know is so special and not something just anyone could have yet he gave zoya that opportunity and when she felt like she failed him for protecting and releasing the cubs it broke her in a million pieces because she doesn't want to disappoint him

the darkling represented grisha's as a whole. he was their leader, their protector in a world that hates them and wants them eradicated, for a power they were born with. it is the way the little palace was meant to be a sanctuary for grisha's to feel safe, a place where zoya felt safe, yet it was the darkling was the first to completely destroy it and kill any grisha that wasn't on his side he was their biggest protector and he killed them in cold blood like that absolute betrayal

it wasn't just about her losing her aunt, he took away her home, the home she made with her aunt and lada and the one she made at the little palace the friends she made he took everything from her because she believed him when he said they would change the world together like she put so much trust in him, she gave him her power and he broke it so easily that wound just festered on because the darkling betrayed her just like her mother did in the past

and it just parallels the darkling with her mother so well because as a young child just wanted to make her mother happy which meant getting the highest grades, eating only half her meals so her mother could eat the rest, and stealing fruit from the duke's garden so her mother could eat them something she could get severely punished for by the duke zoya a young commoner girl who is from suli descent like she could have died but her mother never stopped her from taking them again and again and didn't her mother truly never saw her other than a pretty face that she could capitalize out of

zoya didn't make a sound on her wedding, didn't cry a single tear on her wedding, and never spoke out because she couldn't bear making her mother angry until the only person who ever spoke up for her was her aunt who almost beat to death for speaking up for her and even then could only be spent little over 2 months with her (mostly on the streets) before being separated for the next 7 years when she first goes back when she is 16. (they did write to each other)

the only adult that "cares" for her was the darkling he had continuous access to her, to groom her, to make her his perfect little girl. she is so desperate to impress him, to be around him, to be noticed, and worst of all he does. he gives her privileges, the important missions and she gets to ride his coach with him like he makes it known and clear that she is special, unlike her mother he gives her the attention she wants. but it doesn't really mean anything to him

he has no issue switching her out with alina sending her faraway as a punishment just like her mother had no issue selling her to a man old enough to have grandchildren of her age

zoya being stuck in a vicious cycle of being abused by people who should be protecting her

and it just speaks volumes that is zoya is the one who advocates for the darkling's victims because if she doesn't speak for alina, genya, liliyana and baghra who will

it speaks to her relationship with nina, her worries, her concerns about her, i wonder if all she sees is a beautiful and powerful girl with a deep love for her country with no support, no family i wonder if she sees herself so desperately trying to prove herself to the world

basically zoya co-wrote would've, could've, should've

*will be edited after i had a good night of rest and crack open the books again

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- I don't know the difference. - The difference is I have a license. And a health love for innovation. Gadgets, marvels, things that go boom.

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#imissthem #:(

#sometimes soulmateism is getting punched in the face by the same smol angry sun summoner

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michelle zauner / ocean vuong

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My favorite thing about zoyalai is the fact that both of them are pretty selfish.

Both of them would admit it.

Both of them would say it with pride.

But they also work against it.

All the time. They don’t want to sacrifice the good of one for the good of the many. They want to save everyone. They want to be the ones make that sacrifice.

Because both of them believe that they are cold and calculating enough to handle the fall.

But they’re not.

They hide behind their arrogance and charm, and pretend like they don’t see themselves each other. And know they’d rather die than see the other hurt but never ever admit to how much the like each other.

They’re idiots. They’re in love. But they’re also idiots.

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—rule of wolves; leigh bardugo [insp]

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wheres the sylvia plath quote about the strawberry runners please