intothesolitude - Tumblr blog

[intothesolitude]

Pertama kali nya juga sampai rasanya pingin memperbaiki diri. Bukan biar disukain balik, tapi biar pantes untuk bisa suka sama orang se-sempurna itu

Sudah hidup hampir 30 tahun tapi ini pertama kalinya suka sama orang sampai beneran disebut dalam doa "Ya Allah, saya mau yg kayak ini" 🥲

[intothesolitude]

RED VELVET ♡ COSMIC (Trailer)

[intothesolitude]

I beg you to please stop being so perfect.

- great values and moral compass

- unbelievably humble and friendly to everyone

- smart and sharp

- hardworking and take his responsibility seriously

- perfect leader

- kind and understanding

- always working toward conflict resolution instead of personal winning

[intothesolitude]

MAYBE I LIKE WORKING BECAUSE AT LEAST MY MANAGER PAY ATTENTION TO ME?!?!?!?

[intothesolitude]

I hate myself for having these feelings. I hate these feelings for being so strong that it's crucifying to contain. I hate the blooming flowers in my stomach whenever I see him. I hate the happiness I feel whenever he's being a little bit attentive. I hate the genuine concern I feel whenever something remotely bad happens to him.

Oh I hate so many things. I hate everything. But I don't hate him. He's perfect. He has always been. He's the only thing that stays perfect throughout all the chaotic storm in my heart.

[intothesolitude]

"The reason I can show my affection like that is because I am a competent employee who's needed in the company. Whatever I say, he needs to have me around him."

[intothesolitude]

I want nothing but to savor this bubbling, rosy feeling. I want to be drown in this delightful giddy feeling. I want to yearn fully without being so afraid. I want to love fully without tiptoeing between the borderline. If I cannot love then please set me free.

Why cant I have it. Why cant I have a normal experience.

[intothesolitude]

ya Allah kalo memang tidak mungkin, maka mohon bantu saya untuk move on. Affection sebanyak ini harus diapain, saya stres sendiri

[intothesolitude]

I wish I had the rights to show this bubbling affections

[intothesolitude]

Sudah hidup hampir 30 tahun tapi ini pertama kalinya suka sama orang sampai beneran disebut dalam doa "Ya Allah, saya mau yg kayak ini" 🥲

[intothesolitude]

What should I do with all of these affections? I'm so sorry

[intothesolitude]

[intothesolitude]

for wheat is wheat, even if people think it is a grass in the beginning — Vincent van Gogh

[intothesolitude]

"someone who allows you to rest" is the relationship dynamic of all time

[intothesolitude]

"It’s easy to take the city’s parks for granted. But when more and more social interaction takes place from behind computer and phone screens; when fewer and fewer people meet their romantic partners through real-world social networks; when fewer Americans report having close friends than ever and more say they’re spending less time with those they do have and feeling increasingly lonely — the very existence of public spaces for leisure, open for all to enjoy free of charge, is something to cherish.

Those spaces haven’t always existed. In the United States and elsewhere, public parks, recreation centers, and swimming pools were the product of social turmoil and political struggle, with socialists often playing key roles in creating and defending such spaces. Nobody’s thinking about class struggle as they flip hotdogs on the public grill. But because they serve the collective good rather than private profits, public parks are a challenge to the logic of capitalism...

Because public parks and recreational venues are publicly owned, operated for the common good rather than private profit, and generally open to all without regard for ability to pay, they do not obey the logic of for-profit capitalist enterprises or commodities. And as socialists from Milwaukee to Malmö have recognized, they provide rare spaces for collective enjoyment, discussion, and education of the kind we’ll need to build a better world. Green spaces where we can toss frisbees or soak up the sun, it turns out, have political value too.

My first spring park excursion this year was an evening a couple months ago, when the air was still brisk but didn’t require a coat. I picked up a tall boy from a corner store and made my way past the food trucks in front of the Brooklyn Museum and the pedestrians and bikers crunching together near Grand Army Plaza, eventually getting onto the walking path that leads into Prospect Park from the north side.

After wending onto a small trail that led me to the main lawn, I found my friends drinking beers in a small circle, listening to music on a small speaker; similar groups were scattered around the grass, along with dogs and people playing catch and flying kites. It was a totally ordinary scene, but being there — enjoying the park’s respite from the atomized concrete chaos of the city — filled me with a sense of relief and gratitude. You only need a few moments like that on a warm spring evening to know that socialists have been right to care so much about public parks."

- Nick French, from "Socialists Love Public Parks Because They Belong to Everyone." Jacobin, 24 June 2023.

[intothesolitude]

The man of my dream is everyone's favorite man. No wonder I dream of him.

I guess I'll be fine crisping up on the backburner.

[intothesolitude]

It's love. It's definitely love. Not one that I would ever admit out loud in this lifetime, but it is love. One that I would regret for the first time in the history of me loving anyone. But it is love. Stupid and blind it might be. God help me.