insomniacwritesdreams

[insomniacwritesdreams]

centaur au from a while ago when i REALLY didnt feel like drawing human legs (trust me this is way easier for me)

the twins are "unicorns" with vash trying to make himself look more like a horse, the rest of the cast are normal equines

separates and alt versions below 🔽

breeds dont exist in this world and all of them are various crossbreeds but you can spot some traits here and there

[insomniacwritesdreams]

Home & Family

-NO ROMANCE INCLUDED-

[insomniacwritesdreams]

hii!! i really love your fic “I Love the Very Blood of You” and i made an edit of it :) i hope you don’t mind; but i wanted to let you know in case you do or it interests you!! anyway here’s the link: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZNdmeJ95g/

I don't mind at all! It was so lovely and matched the vibes perfectly!

[insomniacwritesdreams]

Work in Progress Wednesday Thursday

I don't remember the last time I was quite this excited about a skin that I'm making. I have no idea if all of this will end up in the final version, but I'm just having so much fun with seeing what I can actually do that I wanted to share some work in progress shots.

(honestly? the hardest part has been finding the images. any tips on where to get medieval illuminated artwork would be much appreciated!)

In the first image, the AO3 title and the lady/dragon are separate images so on a desktop monitor the AO3 part is on the left and the dragon piece is on the right.

[insomniacwritesdreams]

Yes! This exactly!

The "looks like we're gonna have to kill this guy, blank" meme, but it's Millie Thompson and Samwise Gamgee standing on several crates.

[insomniacwritesdreams]

Angel

[insomniacwritesdreams]

Yes, please head the tags if ya read this one!

I Won't Lie, if There's Somethin' Still to Take

by: Insomniac_with_dreams

M, Vashwood, 18k, complete

“Don’t be afraid.” “How can you even say that to me?” Vash asks, still cringing away from Knives’ touch. His brother’s skin lacks temperature. Vash runs hot, has missed his natural body heat as the floor, this ship, blood loss, has taken it from him. But his brother has made himself lack heat, or cold, he just is. It feels alien, makes Knives feel dead, or like he is made entirely of bone. “Everything I’ve done, I’ve done for you. For us. I don’t think that’s anything to fear,” Knives says, still gentle, still looking at Vash like they are family. “You hurt me,” Vash says, tears burn his eyes. “You’ve hurt me so much.” “You don’t fear humans.” The somewhat horrific aftermath of "All The Things We'll Never Have"

*sits* Okay, listen to me. This fic is amazing. As amazing as the previous one in the series, if not more so, just because of the span of emotion it covers. It also deals with a lot of torture. Torture that would kill a human, and almost all of it from the hands of Knives onto Vash. There's a lot of emotional manipulation from Knives as well, or at least an attempt to, in conjunction with said torture. So if any of that is too intense for you, that's fine, and please put your wellbeing first.

There were plenty of times I was staring in horror at my phone while reading this (and I mean that as a compliment to Insomniac, holy shit), and I was very glad I wasn't around anyone cause then I'd have to try to explain what was causing it lol. There is truly so much packed into this, and if you're in a headspace where you can handle the gore, I really really do highly recommend it. It's so emotionally intense.

[insomniacwritesdreams]

All Tomorrows Always

by: Insomniac_with_dreams

E, Vashwood, 8k, complete

Wolfwood goes to Inner December for a donut. Is it a waste of an entire day and a literal pain in the ass as he sits on a worn leather seat on a bumping bus? Yeah. Maybe a little bit. But there just aren’t any worthy sources of baked goods in Outer December, and Vash needs a donut. He probably needs something much more powerful. A doctor. Or a year's worth of uninterrupted sleep. Something. Something that Wolfwood can’t give him, no matter how much he wants to be able to. But he can get him a damn donut.

Takes place after I Won't Lie, if There's Somethin' Still to Take

Finally some flu- wait, no this is still angsty as hell. Look, this feels very real after what the two of them go through on the Ark. They're broken, they're fucked up, they're different. And god, they love each other so fucking much 😭😭😭

[insomniacwritesdreams]

All The Things We'll Never Have

by: Insomniac_with_dreams | @insomniacwritesdreams

T, Vashwood, 15k, complete

So now Nicholas has two smaller children asleep against him, too many iles to think about between now and November, and still the desert is so goddamn boring. But at least now the only sounds in the bus are excited chatter and the thunk, clunk of the old undercarriage. “You know,” Miss Melaina says, leaning back against the seat in front of Nicholas’, “you’re magic with them. You could probably handle the entire orphanage alone with no problems.” “Eh,” Nicholas says. “Maybe.” ~~~ Nicholas D. Wolfwood is never taken by the Eye of Micheal. He runs Hopeland Orphanage and falls on hard times after the tragedy at July. He prays for a miracle. He gets an angel.

This one has me screaming, crying, throwing up. I actually did cry a little. It's so much in the best way possible. Eriks arc, but what if a Wolfwood that has never known The Eye of Michael found him instead. I'm going to go stand in the middle of a field and scream (i mean this with love)

[insomniacwritesdreams]

yasuhiro nightow / @countthefighters / ocean vuong / jamie anderson / dylan krieger

[insomniacwritesdreams]

Vashwood, Wolfwood, and Wolfwood was never as straight as Tri98 insisted.

I've been trying not to compare Trimax and Tri98 one to one, I don't think it's fair, constructive or very useful because they aren't one to one adaptations like much anime. Besides, I love both, and always will, but I've been reading Trimax and having so many thoughts. It's so very, very dark. Much more than I was prepared for--recently finished volume 12 and Bluesummers backstory made my skin crawl--but I have fallen into the habit of looking at anime in comparison to the manga, because I suck!

More specific to my current thoughts are Milly, Wolfwood, and VashWood. I'm sure everyone is well out of spoiler zone but still, spoilers for volume ten of Trimax.

I read ten. Pray for me, cast for me, blow a kiss to the wind for me. Fuckin' hellllllll. Aside from the absolute horror, tears, tragedy of everything Wolfwood, I was struck by how lovely Vashwood is as a pairing. Of course I like the little gay priest and plant ship, but. I don't think I truly got it until ten. And now Vashwood is so much more. They are. God, I don't even know how to describe it, and this is so dramatic of me, but I was struck with so much awe, and love over how deeply they adore each other.

The whole:

"But...I understood then...that he was extremely close to me at such a deep level.

That is why after all was said and done I wanted to share my tomorrows with him."

Vash has always been optimistic, except when he really isn't, but here his desire to have a future with Wolfwood is so visceral. His absolute need for them to survive is heartbreaking. They way they interacted with each other in this scene too, the trust, ability to move around each other, the touching, gentle, gentle in the midst of all of that, so different from their usual bickering.

And most noticable:

Wolfwood's apologies.

These moments where he said he went too far, I'm sorry.

"Smile Blondie, you look better when you smile...that was a little harsh...I'm sorry."

The complete breakdown of Wolfwood's wall, crumbling in the face of the death he knew had come for him, the way it was Vash who witnessed this.

Of course there is the glaring imagry of Bride, of confetti, and a shared drink. I have been trained out of reading text with Author Intent in mind, but to me, there is so little subtlety to these images I can't help but wonder what we as readers were supposed to think. What were we supposed to take from that besides the faint scratching of marriage, vows, love, devotion amid all the horror unfolding? I'm not going to assign Nightow my own interpretations and consider it fair or valid, but I also respect his story enough to recognize the careful crafting of image, symbolism and Subtext. And unlike most non explicitly BL manga ships--ships of the shonen genre--VashWood is a lovely breath of fresh air because they are so very real. It might be a product of the seinen genre, but I must admit I don't drabble in seinen often.

Marriage bed? More like marriage couch!

All of this to say, uh. Vashwood gay. For real, real.

This leads me to my next point of consideration. Before moving on, I would like to make it abundantly clear that Milly Thompson is a perfect being, has and will never do any wrong, one of my favorite characters in anything ever. Her existence doesn't make me feel insecure about my analysis and confidence in VashWood, but she is, unfortunatly, at the crux of what I think might be Tri98's attempts at censorship, or to be not so harsh, a more palatable characterization of a character like Wolfwood for the screen.

I also recognize that Tri98 is not a complete adaptation, and if I remember correctly the manga was going through print issues while the anime was airing. Hence the, now in retrospect, adorable ending with Vash carrying his only slight psychopath of a brother back to town. This also explains why there is a lot of more shallow plot points, some disconnected tonal shifts, and the overarching tension feeling a little loose. The devations aren't devastating, and in fact a lot of what Tri98 did was really fun and in some places just as gut wrenching as Max(Vash's scream post Bluesummers haunts me). But they still chose to killed Wolfwood, an adherence to the manga after a series of deviation, that makes the death feel like a necessary evil across all iteration of Trigun and Wolfwood.

One of my favorite episodes of the entire show is "Paradise" where Wolfwood does die. Of course it is a bitter episode and I was unfortunate enough to have first seen it a few minutes before I walked into an Anthropology lecture, I don't remember that lecture at all. But I remember Wolfwood dying and the shock I felt to my core. (And then the donut scene when I thought I was relatively safe.) That being said, I love the episode. The music, the voice acting (controversial maybe, but Wolfwood's English VA is one of my favorite dub voices ever, its so....wolfwood) the religious imagery(collapsed on his knees cross on his shoulder, oh God). All of it lovely. And one of my favorite scenes is when it is implied that Wolfwood and Milly(ie????) sleep together.

I loved this scene for a variety of reasons. I really liked seeing Wolfwood cry, I loved Milly's perspective on Zazie's death. I loved her kindness in the scene, bringing him sandwiches, knowing how he took his coffee. I loved the image of Nicholas Broadshoulders D. Wolfwood standing in the blue light, shirtless and smoking a cigarette. Gorgeous. The absolutely raw emotional pain of Milly's sorrow and the "what if" that them having that night developed, was painful and lovely.

All things considered, the build up to Milly and Wolfwood's subtle little romance was also cute and it set in place some expectations for me.

I won't say I went blind into Trimax, it is an unfortunate side effect of engaging with fandom online, that things are often spoiled. I watched Trigun Stampede as it aired in 2023, felt an insatiable need for more, and watched the original anime a month or so after the last episode of Tristamp. I was pleasantly surprised that the same story wasn't being retold, sad that Milly wasn't present in Tristamp, and realized that Nicholas D. Wolfwood is an amazing character. He is also so exceptionally normal in Tri98 it's almost funny if it wasn't tragic in it's own sense.

I received the first Trigun manga(Red Delux Series so technically more than the first, but just Trigun) for my birthday in 2024. I fell in love with Nightow's style, the new understanding of Plants, some of the beautiful spreads(shoutout Vash's chap framed ass). I need to reread it, I don't actually remember it too well. But I didn't start Trimax until March of 2025 when I picked up the first three volumes.

Things I knew about Trimax going in:

Wolfwood Dies and it's truamatizing

There is a scene with a couch that will change my perspective on life

Vash has wings and his hair is turning black

Milly and Meryl are both present and work for an insurance company

Livio is more of a character than in Tristamp

The line between fan interpretations and actual shipness(?) blurs vastly

Knives is not a funny villain

Vashwood had more moments( was initially on the fence about this one for sure)

Other things that I had seen online

Things I did not know:

The art is so good its not even funny

There are about one to two moments of actual happiness across several volumes

There is way, way less moments to just pause and breath and laugh

The horrors are a little paralyzing

Vash is angry

Wolfwood is even more "not normal"

Tristamp could not have prepared me for Wolfwood's backstory

The Telsa Situation (I am not recovered)

Almost everything with the Gung Ho Guns

Wolfwood "being" Chapel

Domina and Chronica

Meryl being an amazing character( I found her slightly infuriating in Tri98-i'm sorryyy)

Knives is NOT a funny villain

Vashwood is very much on the page

And Milly and Wolfwood have almost no interactions at all

This is a long winded, rambling way of getting to that last point. I kept waiting for them to have their little moments, for those moments to be more plentiful if I'm being honest and then Wolfwood died, Milly cried, but that was about it.

Why do I find this so interesting? Well for a few reasons. I was expecting a more Heteronormative love arc for Wolfwood in the manga. It's not the most heteronormative relationship or existence in Tri98 for sure, but it felt like the show was trying to ensure that the audience understood that Woflwood put his dick in a chick before he died. That his vision of Eden was not just with Vash, but with the girls, Milly at the top of his cross. I don't dislike this, by the way, I think it holds its own as touching and heartbreaking that he wanted to be with all of them. But it does stand out now that Wolfwood is dead and his relationship with Milly in the manga was just not the same.

I find the religious elements of Wolfwood's connection with Milly and with Vash to also be an interesting dynamic. Wolfwood's faith, identity, and his relationship with God was absolutely cleaner in Tri98, another type of censorship that I could write more about, and in the manga its a more gritty situation. Wolfwood's prayer in the church in Tri98, "I do not want to die this way" and then in an almost paralelle, "Am I wrong?" "You are not wrong, Wolfwood!" Is what makes the relationship between Vash, Wolfwood, faith, God, death and the desire to live feel all the more whole. Wolfwood was alone when he died in Tri98, and in Max he dies drinking with Vash. Both times in/by a church. Eden isn't really in the manga, not in the same shape at least. Wolfwood didn't really desire Eden as much as he desired a freedom that he himself had trouble defining. The conception of Eden in the Tri98 is a safer, more "normal" framing device that slots characters and their relationships, romantic or platonic, into a safe categorization. Even the imagery of Vash for Meryl then Milly for Wolfwood conceives these more heteronormative dynamics.

Another scene in Tri98 that I compared back to the manga, is in the episode where Wolfwood kills Zazie. He and Vash are talking about the girls, talking about how woman are wonders (damn right) and Vash agrees. It's Wolfwood who initiates the conversation, who makes the comment, I compared this back to the manga at the end of oh, I'm going to say three(?), where Wolfwood sees Vash, dressed down, arm in hand, you know the one. This does happen in Tri98, more or less, but I think it is interesting to compare how Wolfwood thinks of Vash, almost always, kind of gentle, kind of tender, kind of always annoyed, and how he is so okay with just letting it be a part of him. That same loudness is present in Tri98, we know that Wolfwood is fond of Vash, finds him pretty when he smiles for real, but the anime also makes sure that he has Milly to actually express romantic and sexual intentions on while also making Wolfwood's future his and Milly's kids. ("Smoking is bad for the baby!" "Sorry, honey.")

I'm not trying to criticize or accuse Tri98 of doing anything. Again, not fair, but I was struck by how not heteronormative Wolfwood is in the manga, especially when compared to his Tri98 counterpart who is constantly, actively, reminding the audience of heteronormative relationship dynamics and gendered expectations inside those dynamics. Wolfwood and Milly's dynamic from Tri98 is great, one of the little changes that I am so fond of. Wolfwood and Vash's devotion to each other in Trimax is beautiful and heartbreaking. Wolfwood's left field position to all things, heteronormative and arguably masculine, is an incredibly important and multifaceted part of his character that I think was slightly lost through translation. (Translation in the context that adaptation is an act of translation)

That was long. But I feel better now.

[insomniacwritesdreams]

Trimax 10.

No one touch me.

I'd seen the image a hundred times.

But still it hurt more than i could have imagined.

[insomniacwritesdreams]

The "looks like we're gonna have to kill this guy, blank" meme, but it's Millie Thompson and Samwise Gamgee standing on several crates.

[insomniacwritesdreams]

TriMax Spoiler (images included so extra beware, i get im like super late to the train but i hate spoilers and wanna keep yapping so. yeh)

TriMax 7-9. (I know what comes in 10. Pray for me)

Um. I don't feel. Human. I. My god.

I love the adaptations. I love them so much. But Vash's anger. Vash's despair. Vash's guilt, horror, sickness, depression over Tesla. Where was that? Vash has always been my favorite Trigun character and volume 7 made me go oh, oh yeah. I love him.

I feel so ill prepared for words, but. But i must words. Vash was so close to being Knives and I get him now. I understand. Vash isn't naive or coddled, Vash is deeply wounded by Tesla's tragedy, by betrayal and confusion and his own survivors guilt. And fuck. Then it goes on in Knives, lives on in the same way. Fuck he's so good because he chose to be. Happy Days and the entirety of the twins' backstory gets darker with every retelling and its a little fascinating. Happiness is such a fragile thing in this story. A young vash asking Rem to kill him, then trying to do it himself, hurt. There are so many layers of hurt and sadness in Vash, and I ache that he doesn't have his family anymore.

Little Knives made me just as sad if not more. The hug with Rem and the tears. Pulling my skin off, screaming at the sky.

The Arc is insane, and watching Knives steal the plants and then shove them into a cage was, disturbing, to say the least. I also(tho i was slightly confused on how much time passed) was astonished that Knives had Vash for seven months. The torture he probably under went off page probably rivaled that on page.

Knives is truly terrifying, but damn, DAMN i could not get over the art during these scenes. My favorite piece from the whole book, all three volumes was this glorious masterpiece.

God it is so fucking lovely.

You know how when you're watching a movie, high action, the music has been intense, glorious, blood pumping, and then. A moment. A scene that is no less grandiose, nor less lovely, but the music quiets, and the moment breathes, but you don't. You aren't. You're staring at light catching on the still, the unfolding, silently suspended in stars. There is no music in this image, only Vash and light.

I chew through drywall.

I kind of consider these three volumes to be the most Vashwoody. I was sorta thinking Wolfwood would get Vash out, but when he did, mannnnn that made me very happy. The mutual protectiveness, the "I need to apologize to you" the "I think about him while i lay dying" the "YOU'RE NOT WRONG WOLFWOOD"

Vash with his wings between Death and Wolfwood. On a two page spread, I'd get it framed.

I also really loved this image:

As strange as it is, I found Vash remarkably soft in these volumes. Something about him, maybe this action, again a bit of a contradiction, made him...I don't know. But here having fallen out of the sky, crawling to Wolfwood who's lost a lot of blood, half dressed, his feathers a mess around them. Vulnerable, soft, Vash.

And of course what are these volumes if not the reminder that Nicholas D. Wolfwood is a special kind of agony. A very real kind of pain. A mirror that adds the worst you would do, would do.

Oh Wolfie. I. I am shaking for you.

The Eye of Micheal makes me sick. I prefer Knives over them. At least there are less alternative motives. I got a good couple of sobs out over little Nick helping at the orphanage. And Livio is another character I am both horrified and ecstatic to learn more about. I'm honestly trying not to think too hard about the little girl Nico helped raise. Trying not to think about a child watching a child be taken from him(I remeber me and my siblings, my infant brother, being taken when I was younger, a chunk of you goes with them. You never get that chunk back, even if you get them back. It changes something in you.)

Wolfwood's need to live, his desperation when he thinks death is close, his thoughts of freedom, is one of the greatest tragedies I've ever read.

Some Wolfwood and Wolfwood adjacent quotes that made me want to smother myself in a pillow!

"Look at that bird. It's in terrible shape. If you could look deep into its heart...you would find that all it wants is a safe place to sleep, a sufficient amount of food, and a peaceful life. How much it would envy your luxurious cage."

"Tragic...and...foolish. Even in a fight to the death, you still gave thought to your opponent." Oh Nico how like Vash you are.

Some honorable mentions of things that tore at my ribcage:

My one laugh for 600 pages:

"In my head, the bell of ill wind rings boldly...or at least it should...I cannot hear it."

[insomniacwritesdreams]

Spoilers for TriMax

Holy. Fuck. Just finished volumes 4-6. Holy fuck. I had to just. Sit. And hug myself after that. What the hell. I laughed once and it was Wolfwood's comment about "Spikeyisms". I feel. Vulnerable. And wounded. And hungry.

The Tesla reveal. Fucking hell. Neither adaptation could have prepared me for that.

Wolfwood being blinded by Midvalley. My god. This manga is so. Dark. I definitely wasn't prepared. I remember the first watch of Trigun og and being like oh, oh damn there are horrors, but like the manga??? Those are HORRORS.

I've joked about getting a Trigun tattoo, but Vash in his plant form (in agony and with his autonomy being stripped, i am so sorry) is one of the most gorgeous things I have ever seen. I live for Nightow's style. Some of those Wolfwood spreads, mah gah.

Also, also Millie. Nothing else. Just. Fuck i love her. I love her so much. I loved her in Trigun, cried for her in Trigun and i love her presence on the page. The way she held Meryl, who was seriously traumatized by Vash's plant form poor thing, made my soul happy.

I need more immediately. But damn.

[insomniacwritesdreams]

Spoilers for TriMax

WHAT DO YOU MEAN WOLFWOOD IN CANON, CANONLY, POURED TABASCO SAUCE INTO AN INJURED HITMAN'S FACIAL WOUNDS????????

I haven't laughed so hard at something in a manga in a long, long time. That shit had me howling. And like. They have Tabasco sauce?? People don't have water and there are horrifying mutant human things but they have Tabasco sauce???? In a hospital??????

[insomniacwritesdreams]

This is for the ao3 users who enjoy color or prefer non-white backgrounds

There is a TikTok user who made a tutorial of how to make your ao3 colorful, I’ll link her profile down below cuz she has MANY diff skin tutorials

Here is her tutorial, here is her link to her page.

These are two that caught my attention, but that’s cuz I need darker colors, she has a lot of pretty and colorful themes for y’all to check out!

Enjoy!

And thank you @cloudysao3 (her TikTok and Instagram handle)