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The funniest thing that could possibly happen at this point is biden passing away peacefully in his sleep tonight

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#WHAT are you trying to tell us Drew.......................

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#WHAT are you trying to tell us Drew.......................

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Ebenezer Scrooge: Goes outside

500 Muppets: There goes Mr Asshole! There Goes Mr Bitch!

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you come to me on my scheduled hair wash day

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Can you explain this gap in your blog history

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everyone hates orange until they actually see her in context. "oh it's such an ugly color, too bright!" look at sunsets and autumn, look at campfires and deserts. she's the most beautiful and special part of the scene. now apologize.

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elliot mcgucken

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DIRECTOR: Hey Tom Hardy here is some weird shit we're gonna put on your face to hide your beautiful little kissy lips pretty boy mouth

TOM HARDY, ENTIRELY NOT LISTENING BECAUSE HE'S BUSY FORMULATING AN ACCENT NO HUMAN BEING ON EARTH HAS EVER FUCKING HAD: Sure boss

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me messaging a casual acquaintance: hello, how are you?

me messaging a best friend w/zero lead-in:

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girls be like “i'm fighting demons” and the demon is a sports team they chose for themselves

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I'm like "i don't care" and then i can't sleep because of it

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annoying as fuck

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today’s garfield is really good actually

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Girl brush the crumbs off your tits and keep going <3