ingen-headquarters - Tumblr blog

[ingen-headquarters]

Of course... We're always diligent.

Yes please hang out some missing person posters 😢 Jonathan is a very cute young solicitor, has dark hair and likes to write in short hand. He just wanted to go on a nice business trip and now he's gone

Here you go:

I hung it up in our office. I hope you find him soon.

[ingen-headquarters]

Yes please hang out some missing person posters 😢 Jonathan is a very cute young solicitor, has dark hair and likes to write in short hand. He just wanted to go on a nice business trip and now he's gone

Here you go:

I hung it up in our office. I hope you find him soon.

[ingen-headquarters]

You're lying I bet you have my man and you're just hiding it because you fed him to your stupid lizards!! He's been missing for over a month now and I am devastated!!

I understand the deep concern and distress you must be feeling right now but I assure you we really do not know anything about your missing lawyer's whereabouts. I also want to assure you that we do not hide any death/dead people and we do not feed guests to our animals.

If it is that you need this lawyer because you are in legal trouble I would advise you to get a new one if he has been missing for over a month. Otherwise I can hang out a missing person poster around here if you want but for that you should tell me what he looks like.

[ingen-headquarters]

You're not getting two cents from me

You can also donate three cents.

[ingen-headquarters]

That is not my lawyer :(

I sincerely apologize for my inability to provide any information about Mr. Harkers whereabouts. I hope that you are able to locate him soon. Unharmed (and un-bitten).

If there's anything else I can assist you with, please don't hesitate to ask.

[ingen-headquarters]

Hello, InGen!

A family friend named Dr. Roberta Carter called us about a patient she treated. He was an 18-year-old boy and passed away from what she said were "wounds reminiscent of a mauling." She said he was a worker on an island you owned. Do you have anything to say about that, or about the fact that Dr. Carter's camera was mysteriously missing after your helicopter left her clinic?

Hello.

I've been informed about this devastating accident. To my knowledge he was involved in a construction accident and was unfortunately crushed by one of our backhoes. This incident resulted from a chain of unfortunate events that should never have occured.

Regarding the "mauling" wounds, it's possible that they were caused by the rather strange shape of the backhoe's wheels, although I am no doctor and cannot provide a definitive explanation for what made Dr. Carter think that.

As for the camera, I regret to inform you that I have no knowledge about its mysterious disappearance. I doubt our employees stole it, if that is what you are implying. We have our own cameras on the island.

[ingen-headquarters]

I am devastated to inform you that a very well written complaint has disappeared from our inbox. I am incredibly sorry for the inconvenience... But please don't blame us. Blame tumblr.

[ingen-headquarters]

Hello Mr. InGen Employee!

Do you know by any chance if a lawyer named Jonathan Harker was seen anywhere near your headquarters? He's missing and I heard rumors that he was sighted in costa rica with dinosaurs. Is that true?

Hello to you too.

I have to be honest with you. I do not know what most of my co-workers or the staff in general is called. Maybe he was here, maybe not. If he's a lawyer then perhaps he's that guy who always complains about our safety measures? Does he wear armani suits, looks rather strong and likes to criticize us? If that's your man I can (unfortunately) tell you he's not missing. He called me today to complain about our decision to cut expenses for fences.

[ingen-headquarters]

I'm so happy you finally have a place where I can send my complaints in! My sister's baby was eaten by a strange lizard and I want compensation!

I'm sorry to hear about that very unfortunate incident but I don't see how we are responsible for that. We do not have anything to do with lizards nor lizards that eat babies. However maybe you should contact your local exterminator to prevent further incidents.

[ingen-headquarters]

Thank you for your input @tomboy014 but that unfortunately does not fit into our budget right now and we do not wish to work with AZA as they are too demanding.