inearlyforgothowtocreate

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Life just makes me want to weep.

Breathless, I anticipate relief

That lingers elsewhere, never showing.

Bottled up, simmering, exhausted.

Outburst or further implosion?

My life past-tense as I've passed tense?

Or actively fraught and all for naught.

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I don't want to go to bed;

I don't want to go to work.

I have responsibilities

I'd really love to shirk.

I want to lie around all day

Or chill with Spock and Kirk;

Goof around on vidya gaems

And on subreddits lurk.

Apparently avoidance

Ain't an attractive quirk,

So it's off to sleep, you berk,

That or be a selfish jerk.

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Anxiety and Appetite

I've grown so used to hunger

It helps me resteel my mind

A sharpness to my focus

Distraction from my pain

I run away from worry

My hunger helps me hide

Unwelcome thoughts within me

Lean into hunger pang

I've always had endurance

Resilience outdoes my pride

I'll overcome anything

This hunger is just play

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A slowly wilting silence

A slowly wilting silence descends upon my mind

A passing peace

A stifled sigh

A despairing, empty attempt to unwind

A false reprieve

Swallow, breathe

Heart and thought fleeting aligned

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(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=32LWUftzA8U)

This is me covering the folk song “Black is the Color of My True Love’s Hair” after being inspired by listening to a recording of Pete Seeger singing it.

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Life is a slowly crumbling plateau

A Shocking dissatisfaction

A lingering feeling of alone

Desire for more depth, understanding height

Debilitating sense of overwhelming mediocrity

Soaring euphoria out of reach

A barely floating stagnation.

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Survival

At a constant war with life,

In a struggle to keep living,

I will persevere-

I’ll be the gift that keeps on giving,

The curse that is unspoken,

The tree that bends,

With oaths unbroken,

Until my journey ends.

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Consuming the Heights

Holy shit balls A beautiful morning Met by everlasting night

I go to an unknown end Effervescent and wistful My life dangles from string

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Mysterium

As the sun streams down her hair I remember brighter days In a land of grassy vales A place I've never been

And all around the spirits soar Take flight, flit, fly away A thousand dreams appear as lights

Descending fog, a restless mist Mysterium Magnifico

Unending as the time between each kiss A blossom in the hands of grace Three thousands and one are but the same

A living library A forest of knowledge Incarnate, consummate As fleeting as the mountain in whose shade we rest A melody of forgotten dream

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Parallels and Disconnect

My roommate's in the other room, the other room seeking comfort; The words of a friend. His mother is dead.

I'm masturbating in my room, I'm in my room seeking comfort. Alone with my porn, My empathy dead.

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Anxiety

Two blades poised to cut A hair's breadth, or a mile above my neck

Anticipation

Eternal tensity Imprison endless wait the Weight impending doom

...

Drop

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A single pink rose

in a field of pruned bushes

Waiting to be cut

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My BEST posts of 2013

8 notes

Inappropriate Christmas Haiku

Oh, God! Holy Fuck!

Immaculate conception!

Mary got pregnant!

4 notes

Economic security, here I come!

Sold some books I had

For which I got ten dollars

Still can’t move ahead

1 notes

Stuck

This lethargic mass that is life. Surrounds Confounds Relentless.  Life.

Til you just can’t breathe withou

5 notes

Sleepy with Cynicism

Creating beauty

Is difficult when sleepy

With cynicism

4 notes

42

Living for life is the simplest thing.  I must be a dunce; I refuse to believe it. To think with audacity that life should mean

5 notes

null

I will destroy all

Not from anger or desire

But because I can

1 notes

# Spoiler Alert!

Everybody dies.

Every single person,

Everyone you’ve met.

Even you.

Everybody dies.

2 notes

As the Day is Ending

As the day is ending and the night begins

I feel the time of tomorrow fading;

The seconds tick into nothing.

Soon,

Generated using the best of tumblr tool.

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Inappropriate Christmas Haiku

Oh, God! Holy Fuck!

Immaculate conception!

Mary got pregnant!

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Merry Mary, marry Merry.

A Mother's Homophonic Command

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Ideal beauty makes us all look ugly

Neither yourself nor anyone else alive meets the goal-

To have a visual aesthetic preference is a curse.

You will end up living alone in undisturbed misery;

Through it all you'll never be sure whether it's better or worse

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Economic security, here I come!

Sold some books I had

For which I got ten dollars

Still can't move ahead