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heroexxs​

“If it was up to the two of them I’d never leave that house.” Connor said with a little sigh as he continued to help her out with the tent. Her words made him wonder how soon she’d want to leave their small town. Judging by what she said, it might be sooner rather than later. The smile on his face widened as he playfully nudged her since the last thing he wanted to ever come off was annoying. She seemed to really enjoy listening to him and was one of the only people to say it out loud, which warmed his heart. “I wouldn’t have to distract you when you’re sad, because you wouldn’t be sad, duh.” He teased as he gave her a wink. Once the two of them were done setting up their tent, he was trying his best not to laugh at the looks at it since it seemed like they missed a couple of pieces but he didn’t care. They were having so much fun, and that’s all that mattered. “I’ll take you everywhere then. Start close, then we can go see the whole world.” He said with a smile as he held out his pinky for her to take once again. “We might have to get better at putting this tent together, but we can go everywhere.” After grabbing their sleeping bags, Connor climbed into the tent and tried to get himself comfortable before patting the spot next to him. “I hope this thing doesn’t fall on us, but we didn’t do that bad for not remembering how to put it up.” He teased as he tucked a hand behind his head. “We could take this tent with us wherever we go. Maybe we’ll get a little better at putting it up.” 

What he said about distracting her was playful enough the way he winked after he said it, but the thought struck Teddy like a lightning bolt - or maybe more like a crashing wave that suffocated her the longer she thought about it.  The idea of being happy, and the possibility that it was a real option with a real plan behind it, was overwhelming.  She slowly climbed into the tent behind Connor and laid down next to him, still staring up at the ceiling of the shabbily assembled tent, deep in thought.  And he did what he always did best - the curly haired boy talked about where they would go and what they would do and how it would make them feel.  He talked about the tent over their heads and how they would get better at putting it together with time and practice...  Teddy just snapped.  She turned onto her side, propping herself up on her elbow and cut him off mid-sentence with a kiss.  Nothing fancy- it only lasted a moment, and when she pulled away it was completely, rolling back onto her back and staring at the roof of the tent with wide eyes, “I...  Know that’s not what this is - that’s not what this needs to be, I just.  I’m sorry, you just make me so happy.  The idea of leaving with you makes me so happy.” she whispered, still feeling the pressure of his lips lingering against hers.  Maybe they were growing up.  Maybe that was the natural continuation of their friendship, either way...  She wasn’t sorry.  She just hoped he wouldn’t be mad or uncomfortable.    

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tenderstars​

Erik took the joint from her hand mostly to hide how hard he was smiling. How on earth was anyone suppose to understand her? He didn’t know, but he would happily spend the rest of his life trying to figure her out. Taking a hit, the smile took over his features as he felt a rush of relief and relaxation, not just from the smoke he exhaled. He started stroking her hair as she looked up at him. “Just… never stop being a pain in my ass, alright?” he furrowed his eyebrows, terrified of losing someone he’d grown so close with. “I know you didn’t ask and you probably don’t want to hear it, but I love you too.” He whispered at the end there, leaning down to kiss her forehead, praying he wouldn’t get slapped in the process. 

Erik started running his fingers through her hair and Teddy closed her eyes, nuzzling her head into his lap.  It was about as domestic as she’d ever get - she just loved the feeling so much, especially when she was high like this.  A slick grin crept up one corner of her lips at his request, “Now that’s a promise I can make and keep.” she assured him, glad that they were coming away from the awkward exclusive conversation even though internally she was glad that he’d confirmed that he wasn’t seeing anyone else.  Even his admittance that he loved her made Teddy hum quietly, thinking about the words and what they meant, “What does it mean to love someone?” she asked quietly, “Everyone says it...  But how do we know we’re not all feeling something different and calling it by one name...  It’s so vague is all...” she argued against herself, against society maybe - even if that was what she would label what she felt for Erik.   

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tenderstars​

“He’s not worth you bruising your hand,” she sniffled quietly to herself, wiping away the tears. Though her puffy face and red eyes clearly gave her away. “He’ll be back,” she shook her head softly, “especially when he realizes this is missing.” Out of her pocket, she lifted a shiny brand-new Rolex. “He said it was his dad’s,” she shrugged her shoulders. Honestly, the price didn’t make up for how shitty he always made her feel but at least he would get a small taste of his own medicine. 

“I beg to differ.  My fist deserves the honor connecting with his nose.” Elliot countered, watching her carefully.  She said he would be back and he stiffened a little, really ready to throw a punches until she pulled out the fancy watch at which point his eyebrows shot up, “Look, he deserves that and more, but are you sure you want him coming back around to ask questions.  I know it’s none of my business, but seems like you should try to keep away from him...  He’s a complete jackass.  You’re hot, there will be other guys that aren’t assholes.” he sighed, not sure why she would want a guy like him to come back. 

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heroexxs​

Connor wasn’t too surprised when she said that she had thought about leaving town. He’d be more surprised if she’d ant to stay here, but what caught him off guard was her asking if he’d go with her if she left. Who knew where the two of them would go, but it seemed like an adventure that he’d be ready for. “You wouldn’t need to do much convincing.” He admitted with a sad chuckle as he fiddled with the pieces of the tent once again. If he stayed here for the rest of his life, he knew what would be expected of him. It was the same cycle, get married, settle down, have kids, send them to the same school he went to and have the cycle continue to repeat itself. That wasn’t the life he wanted to live, even if that’s what his parents wanted for him. He knew his dad wanted him to follow in his footsteps and join the military, but he had bigger dreams than that. “I’d like to think that I’d have a lot going for me wherever we went.” He said with a little smile and a shrug of his shoulders. “You’d have to put up with me talking your ear off you know. You sure you want that?” He teased as he continued to put some of the pieces together. “Where’s one place you’d like to go?” 

He said it wouldn’t take much convincing for him to leave and a smile crept up Teddy’s lips though she tried to hide it in her work on the tent, “Then your mom would have a real reason to hate me.  She always knew I was a corrupting influence on you.  Who will take over her white-picket-fence lifestyle when you run off with me?” she asked teasingly, trying to hide the giddiness in her voice at the idea of them running off to far-off places to find adventures together.  That was all she wanted.  “I might feel some guilt about leaving my family here...  They need me.” she said matter of factly, “But I’m tired...  And I don’t know how much longer I can keep it up.” at that she looked up at him for a reminder of his light and still the thought of running away kept her warm, “I want to listen to you talk for the rest of my life, dummy, you know that.  As long as you keep distracting me when I’m sad and do all the small talking with strangers for us we’ll stay being the best team out there.  He asked one place she’d like to go, and Teddy was quiet for a bit, “Everywhere.” she finally answered, unable to pick just one place, even if it wasn’t what he wasn’t looking for, “So I guess where we start is up to you.  What do you think?” she asked, stepping back to look at their shabbily assembled excuse for a tent.    

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WHAT FORM OF LOVE DO YOU EMBODY?

Because I saw this on my dash, and I think it’s pretty and v revealing.

love as light

[love as a luminous force - warm, radiant, and golden] when mary oliver wrote “light of the world hold me” and when hozier sang “Oh, your love is sunlight” and when charles bukowski wrote “I look at her and light goes all through me” and when david viscott said “to love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides” and when e.e. cummings said “lovers alone wear sunlight”

Mainly because I want to know what you get: @tenderstars​, @wcnderstrxck​, and @heroexxs​ <3

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i crave a boxer and his lil baby doll plot where it’s filled with him training for matches, coming home with a constantly broken nose and bruises and then his sweet baby doll constantly worrying about him, patching him up, attending all his fights. then come the shouting matches of how they’re scared it might kill him or injure him permanently, the nights where he spends it running or pounding at a punching bag in the gym to keep their doubts far away. the lavish life after winning a match only to have to scrimp and barely get by to the next one someone give me this PLEASE

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Oliver Jackson-Cohen as Alec Bailey in The Healer (2016) dir. Paco Arango

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TOM HOLLAND interviews Heung-min Son

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heroexxs​

“Uh, duh.” Connor said with a grin as he playfully nudged her. Even all these years later she didn’t mind him talking her ear off, and he was still grateful for her listening to everything he had to say. There was apart of him that went back and forth on the line of best friends, would they always stay that way or maybe, one day they’d be something more? The last thing he wanted to do was lose her, so he kept everything bottled up in fear that she didn’t feel the same way. “Do you think we’ll still be best friends when we’re a hundred?” He teased as he finally pulled back up to the dock. “Honestly I don’t think I’d want anyone else pushing my wheelchair around but you. You can push it around over here, or I’ll push you around.” Connor said with a laugh as he climbed out and started to dig through everything he shoved in the backseat. Hopefully by now, she had forgotten about her parents and the little situation that was at her place and was feeling a bit better. As he grabbed the tent, he couldn’t help but laugh when he saw all of the pieces that they had to try and put together. “We can figure it out. C’mon.” As he started trying to put a couple pieces together, he caught her eyes for a moment and gave her a small smile. “…Have you ever thought about leaving here?” He asked with a small shrug, hoping she wouldn’t look too much into the question. “Y’know see what else is out there?”  

“Of course I do.  Now that we’re best friends you’re stuck with me forever.” she agreed, bumping his shoulder right back.  Teddy stared at the unassembled tent and sighed, “Speak for yourself, that might as well be an alien spaceship.” but she hesitantly reached into the pile of tarp and poles to try to mimic him in putting the pieces together.  His question made her pause for the briefest moment in their task before resuming and answering slowly, “Sure.  All the time.” the young girl finally answered honestly, “Sometimes I think that’s the only way I have a shot at a real life.  Where people don’t know where I came from.” there was a silence that hung in the air after answer, “If I left, would I be able to convince you to come with me?  I wouldn’t want you to have to leave everything behind...  You have a lot going for you here.” she corrected herself quickly - he was honestly the only thing keeping her here.  Without him, there was no point chasing happiness somewhere else - she would feel him missing. 

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heroexxs​

“I’ll be sure to tell them that you want to come over for dinner soon.” Connor teased as he ran inside so she wouldn’t have to be sitting by herself for too long. His mothered noticed him and asked what he was up to, and after a little white lie he ran to his garage to get everything the two of them would need to go camping by the dock. They had done it a handful of times before, but with school and life in general it seemed to get pushed to the side. He was running around his room grabbing blankets, sleeping bags, he even grabbed his backpack from school with his poem in it and once he was done came out with too much stuff to carry. “Do you even remember how to put this thing together?” He asked with a laugh, trying to keep his voice down so neither of his parents would try and see who he was talking to. His mother would make a comment if she even saw Teddy sitting on the hood of his car, so hopefully they wouldn’t notice anything. “We could park the car near the dock, too. Sit on the hood like that, it’s a really nice night.” Connor said with a shrug of his shoulders as he shoved everything in his arms in the back seat. 

“No way.  I was banking on you remembering how to do that.” she laughed, sliding off of the hood before helping him load their things into the car, “Hey, we can do whatever the hell you want as long as it’s not at my house or yours.” Teddy couldn’t even express how grateful she was for him, but when the car doors shut behind them, she at least let out a small, “Thank you...” and a soft smile in his direction.  She was so miserable when he found her at the dock, and now it was going to be a good night - she was happy, even if the stress hid just under the surface.  As they drove the short distance back to the dock, it was mostly quiet and Teddy glanced over at Connor driving the car, “Do you think we’d still be best friends if we met now?  Instead of when we were kids who didn’t know better?” she asked quietly, thanking God a million times over that she had gravitated towards the tiny little talkative boy all those years ago.  She was certain in this moment that it was the best thing that had ever happened to her - or the best decision she’d ever made.   

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tenderstars​

The back-handed compliment made him smile, “You’re literally a nightmare, you know that?” They both knew he didn’t mean it though. “It’s not that…” he huffed softly trying to articulate himself. “I just… what’s so wrong about being exclusive? Knowing you’re mine and… I’m yours.” As soon as the words came out, he regretted. “Ah, fuck it, just forget it. I’m just high. That’s probably why you look so hot right now,” he tried to joke, trying to soften the blow of his honest words.  

He called her a nightmare and she felt like she could relax a little.  Teddy moved to lie her head in his lap and look up at him adoringly, “Didn’t you just hear me tell you that I love you?  I’m not fucking anyone else, dumbass...” she admitted quietly, closing her eyes and feeling the welcome cloud that fogged her brain, “I’m your nightmare.  Only yours. Get over it.” she muttered finally, opening red eyes to gaze up at him, feeling bad for shutting him down so quickly when he was being vulnerable.  

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tenderstars​

Grace avoided his eyes as she answered his question, “B-both,” she admitted in a meek voice. “We keep up appearances — galas, charity events, dinners at my parents house…” she hated telling Carter about it because the entire time she was thinking about him. “I try to avoid one-on-one time as much as I can but…” she didn’t even want to finish that sentence as she forced her green eyes to look up for a moment then straight back down. She did everything to insure the man from finding out it was all a ruse. “I don’t even know what would happen… my older brother Will is the fuck up; they’d never intrust him with a business deal this big. I’m guessing a bunch of yelling from my father, threatening to cut me off…” Grace shrugged her shoulders. She was the perfect golden child on paper at least, she didn’t want to know what would happen if her father ever found out about her relationship with Carter, but at the same time she didn’t want to keep lying to the man in front of her about her reality. Grace flinched in fear as he lifted his hand only to have him stroke her hair ever so softly, the knot in her throat only twisted that much more. Pursing her lips, she didn’t know how he could be so understanding… she shook her head as fast as she could. “I don’t love him,” there was no question about that, “but you have every right to be mad at me. You should be me at me, I’ve been lying to you for months…” she muttered quietly. “My father didn’t even blink an eye and it’s just getting worse the longer time goes on. It’s like he expects me to… m-marry this guy and I just… I don’t know what to do anymore, Carter. I just don’t want to lie to you anymore. You’re so open with me… you brought me to your summer paradise and I… I can’t even be honest with you and I’m sorry.” 

God, this hurt.  It hurt like hell.  She tried to avoid one on one time which meant it still happened and that thought alone absolutely tore Carter apart.  His voice was weaker when he spoke again, more wounded now than his confident statements before, “If you’re all they have, then maybe they’ll have to make some concessions.” Did he like the idea of being a concession?  No.  But right now, he was trying not to let his ego get in the way while picturing her with another man, so this was the best he could do.  And then she flinched from him and holy shit his heart shattered into a million pieces and he sunk back into the chair and scrubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms, forcing tears not to well up.  “Grace...” he sighed, absolutely destroyed by the thought that she expected him to raise a hand to her, “He hasn’t hurt you, has he?” Carter asked quietly, so absolutely desolate at this point that he didn’t know what to think, “Thank you for telling me the truth.” he said it, but he wasn’t sure if he meant it.  The truth hurt like hell when ten minutes ago he’d been happier than ever before, “I still think we can figure this out...  Your dad needs you.  You’re too smart for him to let you go...” he didn’t like feeling like a chess piece - especially like a wooden chess peice that was out of place on a golden board, but if it meant he got to keep Grace by the end then he would play.   

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tenderstars​ 

“Can you slide into the car like that?” he raised his eyebrows in amusement, “Because I’m pretty sure I would fall flat on my face. I don’t think you’re ready to see that.” It’s not like he expected her to see him, but anyone in his P.E. class would easily know that he was the most uncoordinated person in the entire senior class. The smile on Joel’s face was from ear to ear, knowing that he would remember this car ride for the rest of his life. The school in the distance made reality started to sink  in, and a lot faster than he would have liked too. The second they pulled up into the school parking lot — he could feel the sweat building up in his forehead without his permission. The pointing  from strangers though, that’s what really got him. Nobody even dared look at him a couple of days ago and now everyone was pointing. Joel looked at Arabella, hoping that he didn’t look like a deer in the headlights, even though that’s exactly how he felt. “If you want — I can also walk home, it’s not a big deal.” He didn’t want to pressure her into hanging out with him. It was pretty clear that nobody understood why the popular girl was hanging out with him and he surely didn’t blame them. However, since yesterday, he was starting to realize that he had never felt more at ease with another person. It was like he had known her his entire life. “I-I can walk you to your class… if you want.” he smiled softly. The snickering around him made a shiver run down his spine, feeling more stupid by the second as his smile faltered off his face. 

He asked if she wanted him to walk home, and Arabella looked over at him for just a moment to evaluate his expression before turning her eyes back to the road.  It was pretty clear that the stares were making him uncomfortable, and Arabella realized that the thing that she loved so much had the opposite effect on him, “I’d like for you to drive me home.” she responded with as much surety in her voice as she could muster, “But I also understand if you think this was a mistake.  I know people can be cruel.  If anyone says anything to you I will absolutely destroy them.  I’m not kidding.” she didn’t take her eyes off the road, because she didn’t want him to see the fire in them at the thought of one of these idiots picking or hitting on him.  He asked if he could walk her to class and her heart warmed with the pure honor that came so naturally to him, “I would love that.” she assured him with a nod, reaching over to squeeze his hand in passing before opening the door and climbing out, ready to attack anyone who confronted them.    

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tenderstars​

“Maybe I am.” Erik exhaled sharply, unsure of what else he expected from Teddy. Instead, he took an extra long hit of his joint, mostly to avoid him from answering her question. “If I’m an embarrassment to you, just say it. You sure have no problem with your candor.” 

Teddy scoffed when he didn’t address her accusation and thew himself a pity party instead.  She took the joint from his hand and hit it herself, blowing the smoke right in his face before speaking again, “I’m more embarrassed by you right now than I’ve ever been.  And somehow i still love you.  Why do you need us to be official so badly?  Why do you need to show me off to be happy?  Why can’t we just be.”  

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tenderstars​

Underneath the table, Lucrecia could feel her hands shake from the nerves. It was the first time she had ever admitted her secret to someone out loud, but her face remained as stoic as the boy in front of her. As much as she wanted to lie, she figured Emil would quickly call her out on her bullshit so the ugly truth came out instead. Between the silence and those blue eyes, Lu was the first to break forcing herself to look down. “Desperate times call for desperate measures,” she mumbled quietly. The blonde had remembered how she hated the idea at first, but her alternatives weren’t that great either; She had even considered being sent to Azkaban to be kept safe, but after being near a dementor during fourth year she realized she couldn’t do it. Her options were limited. It was his next words that cause her hazel doe eyes to look back up at him before he stood up to the kitchen. A sigh of relief fell pass Lu’s lips knowing that the words spoken from her mouth could have her killed. Playing with her fingers, she spoke quietly, “I meant what I said earlier; we don’t have to talk about this… You can pretend you never heard any of it.” She wouldn’t blame him, that was probably the safest option anyway.

“And I meant what I said earlier-” he shot back, slight shoulders still facing away from her as the tea boiled and he leaned against the counter, “You’re not going to Azkaban on my watch.  The other situation...  Is more difficult.  I supposed I should’ve seen it coming.  I suppose everything is about that these days.” he sighed shaking his head, The tea was finally done and Emil hesitated for just a moment before turning back to her and pouring two cups.  When he finally sat back down, his face was slightly more readable - a little less stoic...  As much as he would hate himself for it if he could see it himself.  “I wish I had an answer for you, but the truth is that we’re in the same unfortunate boat...” he admitted slowly, taking a sip of his tea and glancing up at her, trying to read her eyes the way she was clearly reading his, “I suppose...  We can have each other’s back.  That’s better than where we were this morning.” He knew he wouldn’t mind having some back-up when the Death Eaters came calling, he just hoped she would agree to let him help.

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tenderstars​:

@indiemuseblr​ | erik + ?? | from this

“ it’s starting to dawn on me that… the reason you might not want to come out about this is because you don’t really love me—”

“It’s starting to dawn on me that you might be an idiot.” she shot back curtly, immidiately regretting it, but not taking it back, “After everything we’ve been through, and that’s the best you can come up with?...”