indecisivealy-blog

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www.nomadsgear.net

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You’re getting brave babe Keep filling in the cracks of your heart with that beautiful light that is your happiness Every minute Every hour Every day You grow closer You grow stronger To grasping exactly what you’ve chased all these years No longer left to be ashamed You deserve this

Aly

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this is the sign you’ve been looking for 

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We all want to feel like we are truly remarkable at something.

Aly

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You’re putting on a show. You easily point out the fake, while continuing on the most unreal person you know. It hurts. So bad you tuck away every truth there is to you and hide it in your broken heart. You’re scared, and with each passing day your chest grows heavier. You see the cruel world around you and how it truly treats the different. Super glue down your throat… You can’t breathe, or was the intention to keep your mouth closed, because your fragile mind knows how close you are to the edge. When will you wake to a world where it will be completely acceptable, for you to just be you.

Aly

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Cleaning my room requires a minimum of three dance numbers, two emotional break downs and one epiphany. sacrifice is optional.

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The resounding laughter filling every space and corner I am not bitter not really I feel better instead Your voice Your presence Your very soul They all echo  You fill me Both my mind and heart Both my soul and being This is love.

c.i.j. // love at 10:10 PM (via elementalalchemist)

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Remember that time you thought you’d never survive? You did, and you can do it again.

(via thingsiwouldtellmyyoungerself)

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When you’re sitting right next to the person you love, words harshly hushed when spoken and replaced by a dimmed phone screen. Day after day, you find you fall behind to everything that becomes more important than you, your only worth comes from what you’ve accomplished to their benefit or when those hands are clinging roughly to your backside and deep groans become your conversation. You seem to have been forgotten, feeling completely and utterly alone, yet you never remain the only being in a room. How cold.

Aly

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It becomes so exhausting pretending, parading around with that pretty little smile that is complimented often, everyone believes it’s genuine.

Aly

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Why me god.

I’ve only ever listened to my demons, temptations… they allow me, want me numb. Not you though, I don’t know what course you intend for me to follow from this point on, nor do I understand why out of all of us once innocent girls doing the same exact thing you chose to bring me back to life. I have existed, hidden…so long without having to feel anything at all, forgetting major fractions of my life all together. However now, as my mind is racing, scarred hands and frail punctured arms trembling. Being sober has me feeling, completely fucked up. When I was high, that was my normal. Clinging to my constant haze, peeping through a foggy window briefly watching, then forgetting as life passed me by. A life I didn’t mind losing. So you, GOD or whoever…. already know this is my worst night. As I sit here curled up on the dirty garage floor, second day without sleep, 9th day without eating, paying no attention to my need for hydration, hallucinating and convinced I’m on the verge of a heart attack, I can hear my skin crawling, suctioning to my brittle bones and desperate for its needs for survival. So with blurry vision I attempt to focus my eyes on a single water bottle and peach yogurt…I’m trying so fucking hard, sobbing, falling apart to choke this down before I end up back in the hospital, but pathetic as I am, all I want is to get high because I know all of this will go away, but this time I won’t be back and I know that. I’ve used my last life, if I do this one more time I’ll belong to a speed ball hell with all of your fallen angels and everyone else who’s death was a result of these same toxic poisons. Remembered as nothing more than another statistic in this town. It’s so common here, so expected that everyone has already mourned you before your official time of death… and when you do go you’re forgotten before the arrangements of your funeral because everyone attending, who once upon a time tried so damn hard for you stands there looking at a body they have no way of recognizing, they sit silent unaware of what to do, because the person they all loved and cherished died the first time you stuck that needle in your arm. -Aly

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