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Chiaki: Hajime, I don’t think you should be letting your classmates back into the Neo World Program yet.

Hajime: Why? I mean, they wanted to experience it the non-murderous way this time, and they seem to like it.

Chiaki: I mean, Monokuma introduced a lot of smaller bugs that haven’t really been fixed yet, and-

Nagito, slamming open the door: HEJ, RIGARDU ĈI TION, ULOJ! MI TROVIS LA LINGVAJN AGORDOJN!

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The little demons of grief came to live with me, in the space between the shadows and the floor.

I can't hear what they're telling me, even though I try.

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Junko: It would seem that you bitches have come to a standstill in Tarzan’s forest. You have thirteen seconds before the island fucking explodes you Hot Topic wannabe and hope obsessed son of a bitch. You have done nothing but destroy my life I hope you both die.

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Junko, showing up for the 20th time after dying: You fool! I have SEVENTY ALTERNATIVE ACCOUNTS!!!

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Celeste: I'm going to kill you... Hifumi: Celeste: Hifumi: Celeste: Hifumi: Celeste: ...and then kill you again

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Leon: I just CAN'T shut up baby!!!!!!! I’m absolutely FULL of STUPID and simply MUST share it with the world!!!!!!!!!!

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Junko: Ha. Makoto Naegi? Dead? Let me tell you something. That boy is Literally impossible to kill.

Junko: To prove a theory, I one time tried to just straight up shoot him with a real-ass gun.

Junko: The bullet missed, ricocheted off a frying pan on the wall and broke open a cabinet full of bottles which I then tripped on and fell over. It hurt my pride more than anything...

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Komaeda: [Wakes up after a failed escape attempt]

Kidnapper: I trust you’ve gotten that out of your system?

Komaeda: Nah, I think I got two or three more left in me

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Souda: No no no no no no no no…

Hajime: Hey, Souda

Souda: [Punches Hajime in the stomach]

Hajime: [Bends over] EUUUGGHH WHAT THE HELL?!

Souda: You are my VERY best friend, and I cannot stand by and watch you throw away your life like this! You’re too young! You’re too beautiful!

Hajime: [In pain] What the fuck are you talking about?!

Souda: I’m talking about the baby that’s growing inside of your belly right now.

Hajime:

Hajime: I’m not pregnant!

Souda: Well, not after that punch you’re not. I’ve been taking Muay Thai classes.

Hajime: I was *never* pregnant, Souda!

Souda: Are you sure?

Hajime: Yes I’m fucking sure!

Fuyuhiko: [Walks over] I’m sorry, but why the fuck is everybody yelling over here?

Souda: Oh, I found this positive pregnancy test and-

Fuyuhiko: [Punches Hajime in the stomach]

Hajime: [Bends over in pain again] EEEUGHHH MOTHER FUCKER!

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[While playing Fibbage Enough About You]

Komaeda’s prompt: A song that always makes Komaeda dance is…?

Komaeda, looking at the submitted answers: There are *two* Sayaka Maizono songs on the board

Hajime: Is this something that I *should’ve* known about you that I didn’t know?

Komaeda: That I’m a Japanese homosexual who likes Sayaka Maizono? Do the math

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Komaeda: 🎶It’s me or the PS5/Tell me which of us is more your type?/It seems like you can’t decide/But if it’s not me then I’m probably gonna run it over~🎶

Chiaki, pushing him out of the way: 🎶IT’S ME BOY, THE PS5/SPEAKING TO YOU INSIDE YOUR BRAIN/ LISTEN TO ME, BOY/LEAVE THE GUY/WE DON’T NEED HIM/COME WITH ME AND PLAY MY GAMES/WE’LL HAVE COWBOY TIMES IN SPACE!/DODODOOO YEAHHH/YOU NEED ME BOY YOUR FREE WILL IS AN ILLUSION!!!🎶

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Souda: Chicken nuggets are fried chicken because they are breaded chicken that’s fried!

Fuyuhiko: And if I put my foot up your ass, would you call it a buttplug??

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A Message Left in Mukuro's Voicemail

Junko: Oh my God, is she dead?! Why did you put her in the car?!

Komaeda: She's Makoto Naegi's sister, you idiot! Just keep driving to the hospital!

Izuru, utterly deadpan: Enoshima, when are we getting to Chuck E. Cheese?

Junko: KAMAKURA SENPAI, SHUT UP! MUKURO! Please pick up the phone! We are in so much trouble! The Iggy Azalea show went south, so we decided to make our own fun! Oh man, oh man! PICK UP YOUR STUPID PHONE! Mukuro, go to my room, open the third desk drawer, and burn everything inside! But hold your breath while you do it! Use that stupid t-shirt you got me to help with the fire! You have to do this, Mukuro!

Komaeda: Enoshima! Eyes on the road!

Izuru, still deadpan: Truck.

[All three of them scream, and the message ends]

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Fuyuhiko: I keep a picture of us in my wallet

Souda: Aww, really?

Fuyuhiko: Yeah, because then I can look at it when I’m stressed and think ‘if I can handle this idiot, I can handle anything’

Souda: ...

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Leon: I wanna read you something I found on tumblr

Mondo: Does it have anything disgusting in it?

Leon: Not really

Mondo: Define not really

Leon: Uhhh weed and sex

Mondo: Ah

Leon: So is that disgusting?

Mondo: No it's weed and sex

Taka: ...Can you two *please* not have this conversation with me in the room?

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Leon: Life is all about wearing stupid clothes, listening to shitty music, & having a bad haircut

Leon: Lotta people (Taka) thinking I meant this as a bad or negative thing so I want to make it clear having these traits makes me cool & sexy

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Leon: There are three types of friends

Message from Chihiro: I hope you’re okay!! 🥺

Message from Taka: Stop falling down the stairs.

Message from Mondo: How’d the ground taste 😂