incorrectmusicals

[incorrectmusicals]

Hades: *gets home from the store*

Persephone, very drunk: I’m calling CPS on you.

Hades: What? Why?

Persephone: *points to their child* What kind of a father leaves his child with a drunken idiot?!

Hades: I left her here so you’d have a babysitter.

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Alana: I think something's wrong with Connor. Lately, he's been quiet, antisocial, and moody. Zoe: …Have you ever met Connor? (Source: RWBY)

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Zoe: Don't make friends with seniors. They will graduate and they will leave you and it'll suck. Alana: Don't make friends with underclassmen because you will have to leave them and it'll suck. Evan: Don't be friends with seniors if you're a senior because they'll go to a different college than you and it'll suck. Connor: Don't make friends. (Source: Tumblr)

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*Hades and Persephone are fighting*

Hades: Well, maybe I should go find another woman to sleep with!

Persephone: You can barely handle one woman! Why would you want to confuse and disappoint another?!

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Eurydice: *scrolling through tiktok*

Tiktok: Ten kids in ten years! What’s the scariest thing you can think of?

Eurydice: That! Ten kids in ten years. That.

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Connor: Multiple ear piercings is the only answer. (Source: Tumblr)

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Hermes: Never question your wife's choices. Remember, you were one of them.

Hades: That is exactly why I question her choices.

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*at the police station* Larry: I’m here for my son. Desk sergeant: Who’s your son? Larry: You must be new here. (Source: Tumblr)

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*Eurydice and Afra are chatting while working and get quiet when Hades approaches*

Hades: Why are you guys being all weird again?!

Afra: We’re not being weird *tries to dab*

Hades: Do NOT dab!

Afra: I wasn’t going to.

Hades: I know what’s going on here.

Eurydice: You do?

Hades: Yep. You’re talking about me. I know because my daughters are doing the same thing! Every time I go in their room they get all weird and quiet. It’s cause they’re making fun of daddy. Is that what you’re doing? Making fun of daddy?

Eurydice: First off-

Hades: Yeah, I heard it. I’m sorry.

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Jax: I hooked up with a girl last weekend and-

Orpheus: Don’t get her pregnant!

Jax, a trans man: Orpheus… with what penis?!

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Cynthia: CONNOR, NO!

Connor: What?

Cynthia: Sorry, force of habit. ZOE, NO!

(Source: The Simpsons)

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*at the ob/gyn*

Doctor: Okay, let's see what we're working with here. Please remove your pants and underpants and get on the table.

Orpheus: A little weird, but okay.

Doctor, looking: Wait a minute...

Orpheus: Yeah, usually my wife does this part.

Doctor: Are you... not the pregnant one?

Orpheus: No, my wife is.

Doctor: WTF, GET OFF MY TABLE!

Eurydice, walking in: What on earth…

[incorrectmusicals]

“Only you could get injured making a bowl of cereal.”, feels like Orphydice

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“I know it’s probably too late, but I’m here now.”

Feels like Orpheus finding Eurydice some time after Chant.

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I have a long weekend, so...

Yet another prompt list

“You mean to tell me you came all the way here just to see me?”

“What part of “I wouldn’t touch you with a nine foot pole” don’t you understand?”

“It’s not okay, you’re crying because of me!”

“We’d make a cute couple.”

“I want a baby.”

“Life is an abyss of disappointment.” “Stop being so dramatic.”

“Please just stay with me forever.”

“Somebody kill me.”

“Where’s our kid?” “I knew I was forgetting something!”

“Please just leave. It’s what you do best anyway.”

“Okay, I want some answers.”

“Why are you screaming?”

“You’re bleeding!”

“If you hurt one hair on their head I will end you.”

“Wow. You look beautiful.”

“Rough day?” “You have no idea.”

“I’m not here to judge.”

“I might have been the worst choice available, you know.”

“We shouldn’t have let our kid watch Tangled. They hit me with a frying pan earlier.”

“Please don’t die.”

“The last thing I wanted was to hurt you.”

“I’ve never felt more alone.”

“And there goes the rest of my dignity.”

“I promise to love you until the day I die.” 

“I’m late to my own wedding thanks to you!”

“You are not okay, you were stabbed!”

“I’m not marrying them.”

“We drove six hours to get here and you seriously forgot your mask?”

“Is Batman a furry?”

“Stop it with the puns!”

“I’d die for you.” “Please don’t.”

“What was that sound?” “I fell.”

“What is wrong with you?” 

“When did you two get engaged?” “Last week.” “Were you planning on telling me?”

“I love you because you accept me for who I am.”

“I’m cold. We should cuddle.”

“Are you okay? You hit your head pretty hard.” “Who are you?”

“I’m so in love with them right now.”

“What would you do if I died?” “Can we not talk about this?”

“You are a gift to this world.”

“They aren’t waking up.”

“I can’t just leave you behind.”

“How are you this adorable?”

“I’m so lucky.”

“I really want to kiss you right now.”

“Don’t be an idiot.”

“It shouldn’t be physically possible for me to love you this much.”

“Eyes like yours are impossible not to get lost in.”

“You know I can’t stand to see you cry.”

“I can’t wait for you to be my spouse.”

“I’m pregnant.”

“To me, you’re perfect.”

“I’m confused. Why are you dressed like the mouse king?”

“You mean everything.”

“Can I tell you a secret?”

“Every day I know you, I love you more.”

 “I could be dead and you wouldn’t even care!”

“They’re too good for you.”

“You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.”

“How many stuffed animals are on here? How is there enough room for you to sleep?”

“We should get a puppy.”

“The cat is stuck on the chandelier again.”

“I’m so confused.”

“Make up your mind! Do you love me or not?”

“I didn’t think I’d ever have to say this to an adult, but don’t eat crayons.”

“I miss the way things were before.”

“I know it’s probably too late, but I’m here now.”

“ The thing about star crossed lovers is they never get their happy ending.”

“Just don’t do anything stupid.”

“You are my life, my world, my everything. Without you, I would fall apart.”

“I need you. I need you now, I need you later. I need you every day after that. I just need you.”

“Only you could get injured making a bowl of cereal.”

“Well, excuse me if I’m not 100% happy! I just watched the love of my life die!”

“Do you need a hug?”

“There’s cotton candy in your hair.”

“I don’t need help. I can handle this.”

“I have no idea what I just witnessed, but it was entertaining.”

“You deserve so much better than what I can be.”

“You say you love me, but you don’t.”

“There’s nothing you can do to  save me now. Just stay with me. That’s enough.”

“Hey, cutie.” “Hey, hot stuff.” “I was actually talking to the dog, not you.”

“Nobody loves me.” “I do.” “Shut up.”

“You can’t just hang out by that grave all day, you know.”

“Romeo and Juliet obviously didn’t actually love each other, you idiot.”

“I haven’t slept in days. My upstairs neighbor is learning to tap dance.”

“Do you have an epipen?”

“I don’t mean to alarm you, but your entire family is a giant disaster.”

“You might be the dumbest person I’ve ever met.”

“What the hell is with all of the sock puppets?”

“Roses are red, some poppies are as well, the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.” “That might be the worst poem in the history of mankind.”

“We should break up.”

“Wedding planning has been a nightmare.”

“I managed to make it through three years of middle school band without actually learning to read music.”

“Being this close to you gives me so much joy it’s terrifying.”

“Stop messing around and help me with this!”

“Remember that thing you told me not to do?”

“You need to sleep.”

“There’s water in coffee.”

“You look stunning.”

“Stop acting like a child.”

[incorrectmusicals]

Larry: We didn’t have therapy when I was a kid!

Connor: Yeah, that’s obvious, dad.

[incorrectmusicals]

Evan: Where have you been? I’ve been trying to call you all day.

Jared: Oh, what a coincidence. I’ve been trying to ignore you all day.