incorrecthawkins

[incorrecthawkins]

Mike: Did you bring Eddie ?

Nancy , gesturing to Gareth : No, but I brought the next best thing.

Mike: Gareth ? The next best thing would be Max.

Gareth : I would be offended, but Max is freakishly strong.

[incorrecthawkins]

Lucas: Bet you can’t eat 15 crayons!

Dustin: Bet you I can!

Nancy : *sips coffee, checks to make sure 911 is still on speed dial, and goes back to reading the paper*

[incorrecthawkins]

Mike: Just so everyone knows, don't ever try to climb a tree at night carrying a strobe light, owls DON'T like it.

Gareth: ...what happened?

Mike: I made a VERY bad mistake.

[incorrecthawkins]

Eddie : What time is it?

Jonathan: I don’t know, pass me that saxaphone and we’ll find out

Jonathan: *BLASTS the saxaphone*

Nancy: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXAPHONE AT TWO IN THE FUCKING MORNING

Jonathan: It’s 2 am

[incorrecthawkins]

Dustin: I got an idea!

Steve: Does it involve breaking the law?

Dustin: By now don’t you think that’s a given?

Steve: I was just trying to be optimistic.

Dustin: Don’t bother.

[incorrecthawkins]

Gareth: I don’t mean to be rude—

Eddie : Yet, sadly, accidental rudeness occurs alarmingly often.

[incorrecthawkins]

*The squad's reaction to being told they're the chosen one*

Lucas: I will not let you down.

Dustin: Sounds fun.

El: ok

Jonathan: No, I'm fucking not.

Mike: Do I have to be?

Will: Please god, I am so tired.

[incorrecthawkins]

Robin: Are you sure this is safe?

Eddie : Safer than Flintstone vitamin gummies in a bottle.

Eddie : Keep twisting, junior! All you’re gonna get is clicks.

[incorrecthawkins]

Dustin: I’m serious! They’re watching me! They’ve even got an agent following me! Don’t you believe me?

Max: Look, it’s not that I don’t believe you… It’s that I don’t believe you and I don’t care.

[incorrecthawkins]

Nancy : There's nothing worse than people using big words they don't understand.

Eddie : I photosynthesize with this.

[incorrecthawkins]

Will: Self-care is suppressing all your trauma until it comes back and hits you in the face with the force of 7 very large trucks.

[incorrecthawkins]

Robin: So... what’s goin’ on?

Mike: You want the long version or the short version?

Robin, hesitantly: The short one, I guess?

Mike: Shit’s fucked.

Robin: Oh. Well, yeah, that’s definitely not an optimal situation.

[incorrecthawkins]

Max: You know what your problem is?

El: I only have one?

[incorrecthawkins]

Nancy: You remind me of the ocean.

Max: Because I'm deep and mysterious?

Nancy: No, because you're full of salt and you scare people.

[incorrecthawkins]

Robin: Would anyone know any good vendors for professional-quality brass knuckles?

Eddie : I know you’re serious, but you say the scariest shit sometimes.

[incorrecthawkins]

Max: What if mayonnaise came in cans?

Robin: Well, that would suck because you can't microwave metal.

Dustin: Good morning to everyone except these two people.

[incorrecthawkins]

Steve: Two wrongs don’t make a right.

Robin: *sighs* That’s true…

Robin: But to negatives make a positive!!!