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Peter B: Ham. Got some good news for me?

Spider-Ham: That depends on your definition of good news.

Peter B: Not the answer I was looking for.

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happy pride!!

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[Stuck in a trap]

Miles, trying to summon sparks: My powers aren't working!

Gwen: It’s designed to block powers.

Pavitr: How are we going to get out of here?!

Miles to Hobi: Use you head.

Hobi: I'm thinkin' mate!

Miles: No. *points to his spikes* Use your head!

The others:

*cut to the gang using Hobi as a battering ram*

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Peter B: If I’m not back in five minutes...

Gwen, Miles, Peni, Spider-Ham, and Noir: Just wait longer?

Peter B: No, come rescue me!

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Hailee Steinfeld is engaged to my favorite NFL player so true

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Miles: If I run and leap at Peter, he will 100% catch me in his arms.

Peter B, entering while holding a cup of coffee: Hey, what’s up?

Miles: *runs towards him at full speed before jumping*

Peter B: Wait, my coffee!

Peter B: *drops the coffee to catch Miles*

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Miles: It’s Christmas! Are you all in the Christmas mood?

Gwen: Merry crisis

Peter B: Jingle bells, jingle bells, single all the way

Spider-Ham: HOE HOE HOE

Miles: Guys please

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Gwen: Alright the Christmas tree is all set up!

Miles: It looks great!

Gwen: Now where is the star?

Spider-Ham: I got this *puts a picture of himself on top of the tree*

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absolutely loved across the spiderverse🥺

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Peter B: Yeah, maybe I don’t get “a healthy amount of sleep,” but can other people do this?

Peter B: *stands up and blacks out for a second*

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Gwen: Ham, you think every round fruit is an apple.

Spider-Ham: No I don’t.

Gwen, holding up cherries: What are these?

Spider-Ham: Tiny apples.

Gwen, pointing at pumpkins: And what are those?

Spider-Ham: Halloween apples.

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Spider-Ham, completely serious: "Would you guys be there for me if I was going through something?"

Miles, while trying not to laugh: "Nope, absolutely not."

Gwen, while also trying not to laugh: "I hope it sucks, whatever you're going through."

Noir, following along with the others not knowing what is going on: "I hope it emotionally scars you for the rest of your life."

Peter B Parker, a walking meme: "I hope you reach out to me so I can ignore you."

Peni, completely deadpan: "I can't wait to go to your funeral, knowing I could've changed that outcome."

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Gwen: "I told Peter his ears flush when he lies."

Miles: "Why?"

Gwen: "Look."

Gwen: "Hey Peter! Do you love us?"

Peter B Parker, covering his ears: "No."

Miles:

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Miles, after messing up: "Okay, so I know that this is MY fault entirely...."

Miles, to the rest of the spideys: "But, this is OUR problem now"

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*Noir drives Spider-Ham to the banks drive-thru window*

Spider-Ham, in a bad Italian accent: "I'd a like-a to make-a the deposit."

Bank teller: "HEY BUDDY I REMEMBER YOU!!"

Ham: *frantically pours marinara sauce into the vacuum tube*

Bank teller: GODDAMNIT IT'S HIM AGAIN!

Ham: "DRIVE NOIR DRIVE!"

*Noir, in fear and not knowing what is going on, speeds off*

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MARVEL IS FEEDING US SO GOOD OMG ?!

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Miles: I need life advice.

Peter B, sipping gatorade and eating cookie dough: You came to the right person.