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Tarot card of Clavicus Vile "The Fool"

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I have plans that nobody can understand but me

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One thing that endlessly amuses me when talking about TESO is the timeline. Everyone agrees: it starts at 2e582. From there, things get a bit wild.

For a lot of RPers, it's 2e592 - time tracking in realtime from launch date.

For others, it's 2e626, following the in-game timescale.

Officially: it's still 2e582. This is the one that amuses me the most, because, canonically, *everything* happens all at once. Dragons, vampires, the events of Summerset, etc etc etc. The world is going straight to hell in a hand basket.

I just imagine, by the time of the third empire, there's a small group of vampires still living from the interregnum era, just utterly shell shocked hundreds of years later. Their thralls and spawn know better than to ask what happened in 2e582, because when they do, the vampire in question gets a long, far-off look in his eyes, and a horrified silence settles over the room, before, with a long sigh, the immortal creature replies with only a softly muttered

"Fuck, what *didn't*?"

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new fave quote

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The Companions have recently started their own YouTube channel.

It’s called Lycansubscribe.

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So ever since I saw that Bread Seller Miraak mod, he's become a baker in my heart.

Poor guy probably didn't get any good food in Apocrypha for ages. And the first time he got a nice piece of pie after all these time, he's became obsessed with baking goods. Then he dedicated his life to learn the art of baking, get himself a bread stand, moving forward to a Bakery down the Whiterun stables, and live happily ever after. Eating pie for the rest of his life.

He even made whipped cream by hand for you. That's how much he loves you <3

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being a fan of the elder scrolls lore is a truly insane experience. you're like "wow. I really dig this 2920, The Last Year of the First Era book. I wonder if there's something else like that". so you go to UESP trying to find who wrote 2920 and you find that it was ted peterson and that he once said "you shouldn't really trust 2920's description of akaviri invaders because the in-game author doesn't know shit about them. he made it up and maybe some other things too"

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Year 1-5 of Skyrim being out: WOOOOOOOOW!!! Look at this sick war hammer Malacath gave me! This is so awesome, I-- YOOOOOOOO!!!! THAT DRAGON IS FIGHTING A GIANT, LET'S GOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Year 5-10 of Skyrim being out: I am roleplaying a deeply religious Dunmer. I will ONLY use the Ebony Mail, the Ebony Blade, and Azura's Star. I will follow their teachings, and only their teachings. The only times I don't follow their teachings is if I am literally forced on another path. I will shun and destroy any deity that is not Maphala, Boethia, or Azura. The Good Three are my light and my way.

Year 10+ of Skyrim being out: Hello Generic NPC. I know things about you. So many things. All of the things. I know where you sleep. I know what factions you're a part of. I have the sound of your foot steps memorized, I speak your words before you do. I desire for you, Generic NPC. Oh, not for anything as complex or personal as lust, Generic NPC. Nor hate. Nor is there any judgment here, Generic NPC. My reasons are more ancient, more sinister and, yes, more benevolent than anything you know too. I will follow you home, Generic NPC. I will watch you sleep, Generic NPC. I will cook only the meals you consume, Generic NPC. I will become you, Generic NPC. I will--

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Sheogorath: Started seeing someone.

Sanguine: As in dating or hallucinations?

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imagine u lived in elder scrolls and your khajiit friend was like "ah, come and look upon khajiit's son, a fine warrior that one will be one day, yes?" and he just shows u this

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In Elsweyr, it is perfectly acceptable to boop someone for no reason

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Since that animation WIP post is getting traction I might as well share the very silly little final product

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idc if it's not a person. if your icon is a sunrise, you're a sunrise now.

poll about swapping with prev's icon here

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the most game of all time

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Sheogorath: Minimalism can go die in a hole! It's just rich people cosplaying as the poor! And they have the audacity to look up from their artisanal coffee and go "yOu KnOw, MaTeRiAl ObJeCtS cAn'T bRiNg YoU rEaL jOy~"

Sheogorath: They are wrong! You're wrong, you little gentrifier! Because let me tell you something; I purchased a hyper-realistic plastic baby, which I routinely swaddle up in blankets, and then I go around and I deliberately drop it in front of strangers.

Sheogorath: And then I look them dead in the eye and I say, "whoops~! Mondays, am I right~?" Even though it is fully a Thursday.

Sheogorath: That little plastic baby? Has brought me more joy than some of my human relationships.

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Meridia