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Dewey: You call it a near death experience, I call it a vibe check from god

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Louie: If you lost a loved one to a winged dinosaur today, they have an unfair advantage so we'll give you a free admission tomorrow. If you lost someone to a dinosaur on legs sorry but we have legs too.

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Dewey: Welcome to dating advice with Dewey! Louie what's your question?

Louie: How do you know if a guy likes you-

Dewey: He doesn't!

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HLW: *Just chilling.*

Dewey: *Slides into the room*

Dewey: whO THE FUCK TOOK MY POPTARTS

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Donald: Beakley told me “you have to pick your battles.”

Donald: Well I’m full of rage and I’m picking all of them.

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Webby: I’m not needy!

Lena: You’re literally the definition of needy.

Lena: Remember that time you called me at 3am to make sure we were still friends?

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Louie: I’m offended. I’m angry. I’m very tired…

Louie: So I’m gonna take a nap but when I wake up you are SO in for it.

[Five hours later]

Louie: HOW DARE YOU-

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Huey: Not a word.

Dewey: Fergalicious.

Huey: I said not a word!

Dewey: Oh, so it wasn't a word last week when we were playing scrabble but now it suddenly is because it's convenient to you.

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Dewey: All right, you're clearly not listening to me. I can say whatever I want.

Louie, on his phone: Tell me about it.

Dewey: I murdered Huey last night.

Louie: I feel you.

Dewey: Now that I have a taste for blood, I can’t stop murdering.

Louie: Been there.

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Gyro: Your existence is confusing.

Fenton: ... Okay?

Gyro: See, your presence is annoying, but the thought of anything bad happening to you upsets me.

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Dewey: What's that story where they bring the monster to life and then have to destroy it?

Huey: Frankenstein.

Louie: Frosty the Snowman.

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David: Can you describe the snake that bit you?

Nikki: Yes, it was like an angry rope.

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David: What’s going on?

Gwen: I am on day two of a panic attack and I have not slept at all.

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Gwen: Can we talk about the text that you just sent everyone?

Max: It was a critical update.

Gwen: It just says ‘I’m back on my bullshit.’

Max: People need to know.

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Lena, half asleep: Violet what the fuck.

Violet, shaking hands with a demon: Good morning, I just sold my soul.

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Lena: You look dead.

Louie: What, do you mean I look gay?

Lena: I said dead.

Louie: Dead, gay, same thing, I’m both.

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Toga: Yeah there's four of them and only one of me, but I have a lighter, okay, we get some hairspray, make some flame throwers, let's fry these bitches.

Kurogiri, calmly: No one is frying any bitches.