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mark: hey man do you wanna hang out this weekend?

tyler: generic excuse.

mark: i can’t believe you said that out loud, to my face.

tyler: i can.

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tyler: *watching josh do push-ups* wow, he’s been going at that for a while. i wonder where he gets all that motivation.

josh, to himself while he does push-ups: i’m going to be so good at hugging my friends.

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tyler: can you tuck me in?

josh: …you just handed me a shovel?

tyler: yeah just spread the dirt over me as evenly as possible.

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mark: *sees two people doing something stupid*

mark: god, what idiots 

mark: *realizes it’s tyler & josh*

mark: wait those are my idiots

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tyler: *laughs* babe, you had a crush on me? that’s embarrassing—

jenna: we’re married.

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*something explodes in the distance*

torchbearer: what did you do??

clancy: my best.

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josh: *putting up posters of jim that say "have you seen this dog?"*

tyler: is jim missing?!

josh: no, i just think everyone should see him because he's a good boy.

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blurryface: why do you think i don’t like you? i do. i would kill for you.

blurryface: ask me to kill for you.

josh: ...first of all, calm down-

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tyler: so, you like cats?

josh: i love them.

tyler, trying to impress him: *pushes his drink off the table*

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nico: enough! how dare you mock me in such a manner!?

clancy: well. how would you like me to mock you? i take requests.

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josh: shit, i'm so sorry ty! i’m gonna be half an hour late.

tyler, lying in bed, having forgotten they were even supposed to meet: you always do this

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the judge: how do you plead

mark, mouthing: not guilty

tyler: hot milky

mark: *gives up* just send him away

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torchbearer: we have a problem.

clancy: kill it.

torchbearer: can you chill for one second?

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josh: you’re overthinking this.

tyler: you don’t know the appropriate level of thinking, josh. what if i’m underthinking?

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jenna: what do we say when making bread?

tyler, glumly: that's the dough rising.

jenna: and what do we NOT say?

tyler, sadly: that's the yeast fucking.

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jenna: i ran into tyler in the kitchen at 2 AM last night and when i asked him what he was doing, he just shrugged, said “these are my roaming hours,” and wandered off, strumming vaguely on his ukulele.

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tyler: i’ve been here in jail so long i think i’ve lost my mind.

tyler: the days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months.

tyler: how long have i been in here now? almost a year?

josh: this is monopoly.