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i was a kid asking questions like "when you say to rate my pain on a scale of 1 to 10 do you mean relative to what i have experienced before or what i could theoretically experience in the future because what if i say 8 and then later i get twenty billion papercuts and i realise relative to that this pain is a 1" and they would reply "just focus on what you know, you literally had your foot ran over by a ford focus" and id say "well exactly but it could have been both feet which i know would surely be worse" and it still took years to diagnose me as autistic

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10 or 11 little ducks have been spotted crossing the dash board

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*end of Tide and Bone Ep1*

Madame Glask: What the fuck is wrong with you?!

Elsie: Wow, you could start with a 'good morning'.

Madame Glask: Good morning. What the fuck is wrong with you?!

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Arlo: I've already sent good vibes your way… they’re coming. There’s nothing you can do to stop them.

Auggie: This is the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up.

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*in Sean and Marion’s teenage years*

Peggy: I know you snuck out last night, Sean.

Marion: Play dumb!

Sean: Who's Sean?

Marion: NOT THAT DUMB!

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Oscar: Are you the big spoon or the little spoon?

Rajan: I'm a knife.

Elsie, from across the room: He’s the little spoon.

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Cosmo, holding a python: My friends, I have purchased a snake. What should I name him?

Cordelia: You did WHAT—

Cosmo: I was thinking William Snakepeare.

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Auggie: We can get mythical animals? Maybe I'll get a penguin.

Arlo: Penguins are real.

Auggie: That's the spirit, Arlo.

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Marion: Is stabbing someone immoral?

Jean: Not if they consent to it.

Sean: Depends who you’re stabbing.

Nathaniel: YES?!?

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Rajan: Oscar, good to see you. But if you’re here, who’s guarding Hades?

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Marion: Just be yourself.

Nathaniel: 'Be myself'? Marion, I have one day to win Auntie Bee over. How long did it take before you guys started liking me?

Sean: Couple weeks.

Marion: Six months.

Jean: Jury’s still out.

Nathaniel: See, Marion?

Nathaniel: “Be myself.” What kind of garbage advice is that?

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Jean: More guys should be bi. It's 1907. It's like, get over yourselves.

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Elsie: We need a distraction.

Madame Glask: Is anyone here good at running around and making weird noises?

Cosmo, whispering: My time has come.

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Nathaniel: What do you think Sean will do for a distraction?

Marion: He’ll probably make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do.

*Building explodes and several car alarms go off*

Marion: ... Or he could do that.

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Arlo: Auggie... Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor?

Auggie: Your text told me to satanize the house before you returned.

Arlo:

Arlo: I wrote sanitize, Auggie.

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Sean: You love me, right, Marion?

Marion: Normally, I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don’t like it.

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Howard: Change is inedible.

Arlo: Don't you mean inevitable?

Howard, spitting out coins: No, I did not.