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📜 - rachel
Rachel: You either buckle down and do your work or you’ll end up at McDonalds.
Kass: We're going to McDonalds if I don't do my work?
Rachel: NO-
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Rachel: Can I go to the pool?
Kass: Sure, we’ll go as soon as I’m free.
Rachel: No, can I go by myself?
Kass: You don’t want to go with me?
Rachel: You just go around challenging random people to cannonball contests.
Kass: It’s the only way to establish dominance.
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Rachel: You know me, Kass, I don’t take any shit. You know what I say to my haters?
Kass: What?
Rachel: I say: “Please don’t hate me, I’m really nice.”
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Rachel: Why are you burning our marriage certificate!?
Kass: Good luck trying to return me without a receipt.
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📜 - viv
Your prompt:
Viv: Do you take constructive criticism?
Kass: I only take cash or credit.
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Viv: Okay. I get it. You've had a really hard time lately, you're stressed out, seven people died-
Kass: Twelve, actually.
Viv: Not the point. Look, they're dead now and really whose fault is that?
Kass: Yours!
Viv: That's right: no one's.
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Viv: You're the love of my life and my best friend, I would do anything for you.
Kass: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.
Viv: Absolutely not.
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Viv: I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. Someone asked me what the Spanish word for "tortilla" was once, and now I dream of kissing them under the moonlight.
Kass: What kind of animal is the Pink Panther?
Viv, already taking off their clothes: God, Kass, you’re so fucking stupid.
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i’m glad we don’t have To hunt for our food any more.. i don’t even know where Sandwiches live
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Cannon
@pctentialbreakupsong
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@pctentialbreakupsong
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❛ winter is for hibernating. i’m going back to sleep. ❜ - viv
"Or--"
Kass started with an excited pounce, jolting the bed beneath his bundled partner."
We could go to the mall, get kettle corn, get some Christmas shopping done AND get a picture on Santa's lap! What do you say?"
@pctentialbreakupsong
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❛ there’s never a bad time for ice cream. ❜ - rachel
"That's not true."
The brunette smirked, turning to the small woman beside him with a single brow playfully quirked.
"When you've got the lactose intolerance and your about to get on a three hour flight. That's a horrid time for ice-cream. . .But If you're looking to get some now I would be happy to take you."
@pctentialbreakupsong
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"OH? eheh- I can make that happen."
🎄
Viv
"...This."
For every 🎄 (or "X-MAS TREE") I get in my inbox, my muse will tell you one thing they want the most for Christmas.
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Has your muse been Naughty or Nice?
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💬 - rumor has it your wife had thing for your sister first and settled for you.
". . ."
"She knew my sister first. . .She might have had a thing for her once upon a time or whatever. . ."
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Send 💬 + a rumor and my muse will react to it.
I heard a rumor your new girl has a similar history to your ex. Is it possible you have a type?
"Disrespectfully. . . You don't know shit about Heather. . .Or Tana. Heather got tied up in my shit. . .Tana? She's better than all that. Made her mistakes and came back from it in a big way. How many of your demons have you done jack shit about, huh?"
@tanananabatman
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