imaginestuffs

[imaginestuffs]

Try Again- John Walker x FReader

Word count:7,995

Warnings: slight angst, fluff, possible OOC John.

(y/f/m)= your favorite movie

(y/f/d)= your favorite drink

Summary: Reader realizes she is in love with John after an almost kiss. But will John be able to accept the fact that he is in love with her too? Will she help him overcome his fear of starting over?

There was something strange going on between you and John. You couldn’t exactly pinpoint if it was good or bad, but it was something. 

When you first met him, he was the bane of your existence. Now, whenever you saw him, your heart seemed to stutter. Your face got warm, and your stomach filled with butterflies. 

It was 8:30 in the morning, and you had just shuffled into the kitchen to get yourself a much-needed cup of coffee. As soon as you rounded the corner, there he stood, ready for the day. His hair was still a bit damp and unruly, and you had the urge to reach up and run your hands through it. As you stared at him, you began to realize you wanted to do much more than run your hands through his hair. You wanted to wrap your arms around his waist and nuzzle your face against his chest. You wanted him to kiss your forehead and say good morning with that voice of his. That low voice that still held the thickness of sleep. 

A small smile quirked at your lips at the thought. Coming out of your thoughts, you noticed him staring right back at you in confusion. A warmth spread across your face, and you quickly looked away from him. 

“Are you ok (y/n)?” his voice held slight concern. He placed his coffee cup on the counter and fully turned towards you. 

“Yeah, uh, I’m f-fine. Just a bit spacey today. Sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable.” You got your words out as fast as possible.

The look on his face told you he didn’t believe you. You could tell he wanted to push, but decided against it. 

“Well, if you, uh, if you ever want to talk, I’m here.” It almost sounded like he was nervous about it. 

You gave him a soft grin and nodded. 

“Thanks, I’m here too. You always seem to know where to find me, so you know where I’ll be.” You teased him a bit, and he looked to the floor with a grin. 

“I just know you better than you think. It’s easy to figure you out.” He remarked, and you chuckled.

“Oh really? Then tell me what’s on my mind.” Your brow raised challengingly.

He shook his head and smiled before looking at you. His eyes seemed to search you, and you felt your heart speed up at the thought of him looking at you the way he did. You did your best to keep your guard up and make your expression as normal as possible. And by normal you mean neutral, not cold, but not too cocky. You kept your small smile and open demeanor. 

As John looked at you, his mind seemed to wander. Your sleepy eyes and wrinkled pajamas. The fuzzy socks on your feet are patterned with different dogs. The way your hands cradled the coffee cup in your hands. He couldn’t help but imagine your soft but greedy hands pulling him closer. Your cherry chapstick lingering on his lips for hours. Sweet sounds you'd make when he'd touch you.

John’s stomach flipped as he thought of all the things he unyieldingly longed to do. 

Realizing how long he had been ‘reading’ you, he snapped out of it. You smirked as he shook his head. 

“Figure me out yet?” Your voice carried a joking lilt. 

He stood in front of you now with a glimmer of something in his eyes, something you couldn’t quite understand. You could feel his warmth, he was that close to you. Your smirk faltered slightly at his proximity. The tension between you was nothing you had ever experienced before. It was unexpectedly charged. His hand gripped the counter behind you, and he seemed to lean in close. So close that your noses could brush. Your breath was stolen by the way he looked at you.

He looked at you like he wanted you, like you were the only thing in this world he wanted to call his. 

Your eyes softened as you looked into his. A few minutes ago, you never believed that you would be so close to him that you could see the color of his eyes change hues of blue in the light. 

John’s eyes flickered from yours to your lips. The lips he thought of kissing only moments ago.

His nose now softly nudged yours, your (e/c) eyes fluttered shut, and you could feel his breath fan across your lips. 

“John!” Ava called from around the corner. Your eyes flew open at her voice, he sighed as he stepped away from you.

“What?” he asked as the woman rounded the corner with an annoyed look on her face. 

Before she could speak, she noticed the tension in the room and glanced between the two of you. She saw the flustered look you tried to mask, and the way John seemed to breathe a bit harder. The look on Ava’s face was one of suspicion. You gave her a pleading look as if asking her not to mention it. She could see the look of anxiety in your eyes, and kept her mouth shut on the subject.

Ava turned to face John, “We’re assigned to a mission in Lima, we leave in 2 hours. Get ready and I’ll meet you by the landing pad,” she informed him. He nodded his head and strode out of the room as fast as he could. 

You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. Ava looked at you in concern. 

“Is everything ok?” she asked, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder. You flashed her a small smile and nodded. She looked at you with uncertainty. “You would tell me if something happened?” she asked.

“Of course, Ava, thanks for checking in, but I’m fine,” you told her with as much of a steady voice as you could muster.

“Good. We’ll be back soon. I’ll bring him back in one piece, alright,” she reassured you.

Your eyes widened; you should’ve realized that she could see right through you, she always could. Closing your eyes, you let out a sigh. 

“Just be careful,” you said before pulling her into a hug. She hugged you back just as tightly.

As Ava left the kitchen, your head fell into your hands. You could barely comprehend what almost happened. Not letting yourself believe that what you felt from him could be true. Tricking yourself into thinking what you saw in his eyes wasn’t real.

Maybe half an hour had passed before you got ready for the day. Walking out of your room, you see John going down the hallway to meet Ava. 

You decide to take a chance to talk to him before he leaves, even if it’s only to say goodbye and be careful.

“John,” you tried to get his attention as he was walking away. His footsteps stopped, and he let you catch up with him. He kept his eyes on the ground as you walked beside him. 

“I um, I just wanted to say goodbye,” you said and glanced at him, seeing if he would spare a look. He didn’t look at you, so you tried one more time.

“John,” you said, trying to get his attention. But again, there was no answer.

You gently grabbed his arm, and he reluctantly looked at you. “What is it?” he sighed out.

“I just wanted to tell you to come back safe,” you said and smiled softly despite feeling a bit hurt. 

“We will,” he told you and walked away.

Standing there in the hall, you could feel your heart constrict; it was as if he didn’t care. It was like what had happened wasn’t real. Confusion clouded your mind, you didn’t understand what you had done. 

Bucky had found you sitting on the couch, doing your best to read the book you were trying to finish. Nothing was helping, and you were just rereading the same sentence over and over again.

The couch dipped as someone sat next to you. You didn’t have to see their face to know it was Bucky. Your shoulders slouched, and you let out a sigh, finally letting yourself relax. Feeling safe enough to show how tired you really were. 

“You ok, kid?” his voice was a low, comforting rumble. 

Chuckling, you looked over at him. 

“That’s the third time someone has asked me that today. And I guess my answer is no,” The look in your eyes was one he’d never seen before. Uncertainty. 

“Do you wanna talk about it?” he raised his hand to run through your hair. 

You could feel some stress leaving you. As you always did when he was around. 

You screwed your eyes shut and tried to hold everything back. You didn’t understand why you wanted to cry. Nothing had really happened between you and John, but it felt like something was there. Something that you couldn’t shake, something that made your heart too full.

You could feel the tears begin to drip down your cheeks. Opening your eyes, Bucky's gaze was soft and understanding. The book fell from your hand as you let yourself lean into your friend. 

He was more than a friend, he was family. Someone you trusted fully, and whom you could never seem to lie to. 

“I’m so confused.” Your voice strained as tears of frustration continued to fall. 

“What’s got you so confused, Sweetheart?” he let you curl into his side as he wrapped his arm around your shoulder. 

“Walker,” your voice was muffled by his shirt. You buried your head further against his chest as your cheeks heated up.

Bucky leaned down and placed his head on yours.

“What was that?” he asked.

You shifted so you could look up at him. “John,” you sighed.

Bucky raised an eyebrow. “Well, I don’t think you’re the first to be confused by him,” he told you jokingly. 

He got a small smile out of you, and you shook your head. 

“I’m- I’m just so frustrated. I can’t tell how he feels about me. I thought I knew for a moment, and then he wouldn’t give me anything. He barely even looked at me after I said goodbye today.” You confessed to Bucky. 

“You know I don’t like him, but I think it’s safe to say he’s not great at dealing with feelings like that.” He once again began to run his fingers through your hair. 

He saw the look on your face, a look of fear that you’d done something wrong. “Did something happen today (y/n)?” Bucky asked carefully, not wanting to hit a nerve or make you uncomfortable.

Taking a deep breath, you looked at him, desperation shone in your eyes. 

“He almost kissed me today. Only two hours before I told him goodbye, he leaned in to kiss me, and then he acted like he didn’t care. Like it never even happened. It was like I was a stranger.” Your voice was soft, unsure.

Bucky just listened as you spoke, doing his best to be a comfort. He looked at you with sympathy in his eyes. He hated seeing you like this; he hated knowing that you felt that way. That Walker made you feel that way. 

Tears began to gloss over your eyes once more as you sighed. You didn’t know you felt so deeply for him. Never realized that he meant so much to you, but he did, and now you can’t stop caring.

A cool hand touched your cheek, leaning into it, you sighed. 

“Sweetheart, I don’t think you’ve done anything wrong…” He paused, thinking of what to say next. “I think he’s scared after everything that happened with Olivia. I think he’s scared to start over.” He did his best to explain the possibility of why he suddenly acted so cold.

Your heart sank at the thought of him feeling that way. You never thought about it like that, you didn’t think of him. How scared he must be to open up again, to fully trust someone and have them trust him. How scared he must be to fall in love again. 

Your shoulders dropped, a

nd you once again let yourself rest against Bucky’s chest. Bucky could tell what was going on in your mind. He let his head rest on yours and rubbed your arm. 

“It’ll be ok. He’ll be ok,” Bucky kissed your head, and just let you hold him for as long as you needed to. 

It had been four days since John and Ava had gone on their mission. Everyone noticed that you had become quiet. The only one who truly knew why was Bucky, and he wasn’t willing to share your reasoning with anyone. 

In your mind, you had decided the best idea was to give him space, to let him come to you if and when he was ready. The only thing that hurt you was that you didn’t know if he wanted what you did. John may never be ready, and if that were the case, you’d just have to understand that.

Your heart didn’t want to let go, but if it came down to it, then you’d have to. It was a feeling you had never experienced. Something you didn’t know how to handle well. You weren’t good at letting go, it had always been an issue for you. When you were young, your family moved from Oregon to New York. Leaving the first home you’d ever known, leaving the very first friends you’d ever made, was like ripping a piece of your soul away. 

When your childhood dog passed away, you kept their favorite toy, and you still have it now. The day your grandma passed away, your heart shattered. Refusing to believe she was gone, you still spoke to her years later. Even now, when you’re lost or alone, you’ll close your eyes and talk to her as if she’s right next to you. 

After your worst heartbreak, you didn’t think you'd find love again. Until you met John. 

Now you may have to let go before you get to hold him. 

There you sat next to Bob by the window where he always sits while reading. He saw the look on your face and asked you to sit with him, and so you did. You let yourself settle next to your friend in a comfortable silence. The only thing that could be heard was the rain outside and him mumbling the words he was reading under his breath. It was comforting to just sit with someone, not having to speak to understand that each of you just wants company.

After a while, you felt someone shaking your shoulder. A sleepy groan escaped you as you rubbed your eyes. You hadn’t realized you had fallen asleep. 

“(y/n),” your name was spoken so softly you almost didn’t hear it. Slowly, you opened your eyes, you were met with the sight of Bob smiling at you softly. “I didn’t want you to be uncomfortable, so I took you to your room. I hope you don’t mind.” His voice was so sweet, and you smiled back sleepily. 

“Thanks, Bobby,” you mumbled and leaned up to kiss his cheek. His cheeks went pink as he nodded. 

“Of course. I, um, I’ll leave so you can rest,” he spoke softly before squeezing your shoulder and making his exit. 

What you didn’t realize was that Ava and John had returned as he was taking you to your room. 

Bob passed by John as he carried you fast asleep in his arms.

Bob gave John a smile and a soft welcome back as he walked by him. John nodded back, but felt his heart pang at the sight.

Why was Bob holding you as you slept? Why was he taking you back to your room?

John was so confused. He could see how content you were; he saw the way your face was pressed against his chest as you slept.  

It’s only been four days, and Bob has moved in on you. John thought Bob liked Yelena, not you. Did you like Bob?

John walked down the hall to his room. As he did, he passed by your room, and the door was open just enough to see you kiss Bob on the cheek. His heart seemed to stop for a second at the sight. He didn’t understand.

He swore that there was something he had with you. Something that he didn’t know how to describe. Maybe something he was too scared to accept.

He didn’t want to accept the fact that he may be in love with you. 

But unbeknownst to him, you had accepted that same thing. You accepted the fact that you were in love with John.

 Waking up the next morning, you made your way into the kitchen for a cup of coffee when you were greeted with the same sight as four days before. John stood with messy morning hair and a bruise on his cheek. Concern filled your eyes as you took a step closer to him. 

“John,” your voice was soft as you got his attention. 

He looked up from his coffee to glance at you. He hummed in acknowledgment and took another sip. Something in your heart tugged, and you swore you felt a twinge of pain in your chest. Again, he paid you no mind.

“Are you ok? I’m glad you’re home,” you said, and moved to the cupboard to grab a mug. 

“If you’re asking about the bruise, it doesn’t hurt, just looks bad,” he said. 

The way he spoke gave you the hint that he didn’t want to talk. So you left the conversation there. As you looked for your favorite mug, you noticed it was on the top shelf and sighed. 

Reaching for it, you huffed in frustration, but before you were able to climb on the counter, someone reached from behind you to grab it for you.

You hoped with everything in you that when you turned around, it would be John, but when you did, John was still leaning on the island. A warm hand was placed on the small of your back, and you knew from how gentle the touch was that it could only be Bob. 

Once again, your heart tugged, and your eyes flashed with disappointment. Bob placed the mug beside you, and you smiled at him as he reached for his own mug. 

“Thanks, Bob,” you grinned softly at him. 

“No problem. Just didn’t want you to get hurt.” his voice was sweet, genuine. 

You squeeze his hand before pouring yourself a coffee. 

“John! You’re finally back!” Alexei exclaimed as he made his usual boisterous entrance. 

Everyone in the room winced at his volume. 

“How was mission, huh?!” his voice somehow louder than before.

“Just like any other one,” John answered plainly, and rubbed a hand down his face. As you glanced at him again, your eyes still held concern. He was tired and closed off. 

Alexei then turned his attention to you and smiled before pulling you into a big hug. 

“Ah (Y/N), it is so good to see you!” he said and smacked a big kiss on your crown. He let you go, and you gave him an awkward smile.

John looked between you and Alexei with confusion. “What do you mean? You see her every day.” John questioned.

Immediately, your gaze dropped to your feet. “She has been hiding in her room for days. I rarely see her during the day, almost like a raccoon. She comes out at night to eat and then hides in the day, you know,” Alexei explained, and you shook your head. 

“What the hell are you even talking about?” John asked with furrowed brows. 

“She is not usual self. She’s depressed.” Alexei decides to announce to the whole room. 

You placed your head in your hands and did your best to take a deep breath. The feeling of John’s stare was burning. Opening your eyes, you took one glance at him, and could see the confusion. 

No one said a word; all you could feel was them staring at you, expecting you to say something or explain yourself. 

You could feel tears well up in your eyes and placed your cup down before walking away. 

Yelena passed you by, before she could ask anything, you were already halfway down the hallway.

Yelena sighed and rolled her eyes. “Alexei! What did you do?” She marched into the kitchen. 

He held up his hands in defense. “I did nothing. All I say was (Y/N) has been depressed and hiding like raccoon,” he explained himself. Yelena pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. 

“Did something happen while we were gone?” John asked. 

“I’m not sure, I did see her talking with Bucky after you left. She seemed really upset.” Bob informed them all. 

John’s shoulders sagged, and he let his head fall back. He groaned in frustration, at what, or who? He wasn’t sure.

Before anyone could say anything else, he walked out of the room. He had an idea in his head of what made you so upset. But he refused to believe it. 

It couldn’t be him, it just couldn’t be. 

He didn’t know where he was going until he reached the balcony of the penthouse. He wasn’t sure why he was there, but he was finally able to take a deep breath. 

“What is going on?” he mumbled to himself. 

Had he hurt you the day he left? What had he done? 

Was it the almost kiss? Had he been too cold? He didn’t mean to be that way. All he wanted was to protect himself and you. Did his fear hurt you? 

John stood there watching the chaos of the city moving beneath him, it almost felt like the city’s restlessness was in his head. 

He couldn’t figure you out. 

You knew exactly where you were going as your feet took you right where you needed to be. 

Standing outside his room, you raised your fist to knock. After the first rap, you heard the lock click open. You shuffled your feet as he opened the door. Immediately, he looked at you, and your arms wrapped around him. 

“Hey, hey, Sweetheart, what’s going on?” Bucky asked and placed his hand on the back of your head to keep you close. 

The door closed behind you as he held you. You didn’t even know what to tell him. You didn’t know if you were sad or mad, or just embarrassed. 

He felt tears soak through his shirt and pulled you closer. He scooped you up and sat on the bed with you. 

He just let you get your tears out before he spoke again. “Did John say something to you?” He asked and brushed a strand of hair out of your eyes. 

The shake of your head told him otherwise, so he waited for you to speak, not wanting to overwhelm you with questions. 

“I’m just embarrassed.” You admitted to him. 

His brows furrowed. “Why would you be embarrassed?” Bucky asked. 

“I was in the kitchen with John and Bob this morning when Alexei walked in,” you paused, and Bucky sighed. He knew this couldn’t be good. 

“He told John that I had been hiding in my room, being depressed,” you told him. 

The look on Bucky’s face was one of pure annoyance. 

“Of course, he’d do something like that. What else did the idiot say?” He asked. 

“He also compared me to a raccoon; it was embarrassing. God, you should’ve seen the look on John’s face.” You went on. “It was terrible, I just had to get out of there. I know it’s stupid to cry, but I don’t handle these feelings well,” you told him. 

“It’s ok Sweetheart, Alexei is an asshole and we all know it. He just can’t keep his mouth shut about anything. I think it’s kind of like a sickness.” Bucky joked. 

You let out a chuckle and rested your head on his shoulder. 

A comfortable silence lay over the room like a blanket. Almost scared you spoke up again, “I don’t want John to think it’s his fault,” you revealed. 

Bucky kissed your head. “Sometimes things happen for a reason. I know that everyone says it, but it’s the truth. So don’t give up on him yet. It’ll work out some way, and if it doesn’t, I’ll be right here.”  His words were comfort enough for you.

“I love you, Bucky,” you said and closed your eyes.

 “Love you, too, Sweetheart.” 

The morning steeped into the evening like an old cup of tea. You sat in your room by the window, as you looked out at the skyline, you wondered how it was that you got here.

That thought came up in your mind more than you’d like to admit. Everyone asks themselves that, but for you, it felt different. The question was more of a ‘why me? ’.

At points in your life, you'd done some extraordinary things, you’d saved people's lives. You’d stood against this country and your friends to come to the defense of someone you believed in. 

You mourned for people who should never have been lost. You mourned for who you used to be. 

You had gone through more than anyone your age should have to in a lifetime, and you believed that was one of the reasons you belonged with the team. 

Your past had brought you to this moment in your life, and for that, you were grateful. You were grateful for the family you’ve found along the way, and you were grateful for him. 

John Walker was a man whom you never would have thought you’d fall in love with. He was sarcastic, cocky, and rude. Yet somehow he made your heart pound, your cheeks burn, and your smile stick to your lips for hours. 

Now, sitting on the floor just thinking about him made your head spin. After your talk with Bucky today, you have been trying to figure out a way to fix everything.

All you wanted was for John to be happy, and if that took you out of the picture, then so be it. If John decided he didn’t want you, you would just have to find a way to cope. 

Movie night was tonight, and after avoiding everyone for days, you decided not to give up. Just like Bucky told you. You were not going to give up on John. 

The hallways were dark as you made your way to the main room. You could hear the popcorn being made, and everyone chatting. Before setting foot in the room, you took a deep breath and did your best to calm yourself. 

You moved to enter the room when someone scooped you up from behind. You let out a shriek and grabbed the person’s shoulder. Everyone’s attention turned to you. 

“Well, here she is!” you heard Bucky’s voice next to your ear. You looked at him with wide eyes, and he chuckled. 

“(Y/N), we were looking for you!” Yelena said excitedly. Bucky placed you on your feet once more, and you shook your head with a laugh. 

“You know I wouldn’t miss movie night!” you exclaimed. You did your best to look unfazed by John ignoring you. 

Alexei almost opened his mouth, but closed it due to the looks he was being given by almost everyone in the room.  

“It is nice night for movie!” he decided to say instead. 

Letting out a soft laugh, you nodded. “I’m glad we’re all back together again.”

You glanced at John and were surprised to see him looking right back at you. A genuine smile stretched across your lips as he gave a small smile back. 

John had been worrying all day about this moment. He didn’t know if you were gonna buddy up with someone else after everything that had happened. Because usually on Movie nights, you always chose the seat next to his. If he were on the floor, you were right there next to him, despite how uncomfortable it would be. If he was on the couch, then so were you with a blanket and two beers in your hand. He knew you didn’t like beer very much. The only reason you got the other one ‘for yourself’ was because he always wanted another one. 

You would have a few sips of it, but he knew the (y/f/d) next to the beer was yours. 

John was prepared for you to cuddle up with Bob or maybe even Bucky. So he tried not to care when Bucky carried you into the room. 

He could feel your words were slightly aimed at him as you said you were glad everyone was together again. You were more so saying that you were glad he was home. John couldn’t help but look at you, and couldn’t seem to look away when you held his gaze. 

The smile on your face was one he had missed so much, he had missed everything about you. The way your eyes brightened when you looked at him, or the way your nose slightly crinkled when you laughed. 

He could see in you the moment he looked at you that you weren’t giving up. On what? He wasn’t quite sure, but it made something stir inside him. Just the small interaction you had in 15 seconds was easing his seemingly ceaseless doubts. 

Something changed in John as you looked at him. He seemed at ease, it was almost as if from one glance he really saw you. You felt as if he saw the determination that had laced tightly around your heart. The determination to love him. It was almost as if you had come to an agreement. An understanding to put aside the past few days and try again. 

“Whose turn to choose the movie?” You question and look around. 

“I. I will choose perfect movie!” Alexei volunteers himself, and everyone lets out a collective groan of protest. 

“Absolutely not.” Yelena pointed harshly at him. 

“What? Why not? I choose a good movie each time,” he pouted. 

“I think it’s your turn (Y/N),” John said. The whole team looked at him. Ava nodded her head. 

“Yeah. It is your turn! Go ahead and choose a movie.” Ava pushed the remote into your hand, and your brows furrowed. 

“Are you sure? It doesn’t feel like it is?” Your voice was uncertain.  

Bucky placed a hand on your back and nudged you toward the couch. “Choose, Sweetheart. It’s your turn.” He assured you. 

You smiled, nodding your head, and you plopped down on the couch. It wasn’t even a choice in your mind, it would always be (y/f/m). 

A smile crept its way onto your lips as you pulled up the movie. John immediately knew your pick from the second he said it was your turn to choose the movie. 

“I forgot my blanket!” you exclaimed, and were about to get up until it landed in your lap. You looked up and saw Bucky standing behind the couch with a smile. 

“Did you want anything to drink?” John spoke up from beside you. 

“I can get drinks for us. Did you want a beer?” You asked and again went to stand up, but he stopped you. 

“I’ll get them,” he said and smiled. 

He could tell you were nervous about him getting the drinks because you always got another drink for yourself. It was cute that you thought he didn’t notice. 

“Oh, I um… ok, thanks.” Your voice was nervous, and you cursed yourself for it. 

John walked into the kitchen, and Bucky stood there as if waiting for him. 

“She’s a great girl, John,” Bucky spoke up just enough so John could hear him. 

He looked over at Bucky, trying to hide the s

urprise in his eyes. He knew he was talking about you, and didn’t know what to say. 

“She deserves to be happy. And as much as I hate to say it, so do you. So don’t mess this up.” Bucky’s voice was softer than he’d heard it. Yet John could still hear the edge of a threat in his tone.

Before John could say a word, the older man exited the kitchen and went back to sit by you. 

John’s heart pounded. He could barely comprehend what Bucky had said. 

“John! Come on, we want to start the movie!” he was pulled from his stupor as he grabbed two beers and (y/f/d). He strode back into the room and took his spot. 

He placed your drink on the table in front of you, right next to the beer. And placed his beer in front of him. 

You looked at your drink, and your heart stopped. Your eyes peered up at the man sitting next to you. You could feel heat rushing to your cheeks as he sent you a knowing grin.

The movie began to play, and as it kept rolling, you got closer to John. The space between you had become smaller and smaller. John looked over at you and couldn’t help but want to pull you closer. The way the screen light reflected in your eyes and the smile you had when watching your favorite scene. 

He felt you move closer to him as the movie played. Your hands fidgeting with the hem of your blanket, dying to reach out for him. To reach out and hold him closer than you ever have. 

You were practically right next to him now, and he decided to end both of your sufferings. He wrapped his arm around your shoulder and tugged you into his side. Your eyes widened as you looked up at him. He didn’t look at you as if it was something so casual to do. 

You could see the smile on his face, though. He could feel your stare, but didn’t chance a look. 

Seeing this as an opportunity to toss your blanket over him as well and tuck yourself against his chest, you did just that. That’s where you stayed for the rest of the movie. 

The credits rolled over the screen, but you didn’t want to move. You didn’t want to leave his side, you felt safe and warm. He could feel your reluctance and looked down at you. 

His eyes were warm, and his voice was thick from not using it for a while. 

“You ok?” he asked and ran a hand over your hair. 

You nodded. “Yeah, I’m just sleepy, that’s all.” It sounded like you were uncertain about what you were saying. 

“Let’s get you to bed,” John whispered as he looked at almost everyone around you who had fallen asleep. 

“Okay,” the disappointment in your voice hit him hard. 

He knew there was more that you wanted to say, and there was more that he wanted to say as well. 

He took your hand in his as he helped you up and off the couch. 

Quietly, you stepped around Alexei, who was somehow passed out on the floor by the TV. 

Before you exited the room, you placed your blanket across Bucky’s lap and placed a kiss on his head. 

The whole tower was dark, and the moonlight was sheathed by clouds as you walked through the halls. John’s hand was firm in yours as he guided you towards your room. Now that you were alone with him, the energy shifted again. 

It wasn’t anything bad or uncomfortable. It almost felt like the space between you was full. 

Full of so many words that were begging to be said and heard.

John came to a stop outside your door and sighed. 

He turned to look at you with an expression almost unreadable. 

“I guess this is goodnight then,” he spoke softly as if your team was in the same room as you still, all fast asleep. 

“I guess so,” your tone was disappointed, no matter how hard you tried to mask it. He could tell, and his heart ached. 

You stepped into your room and were about to shut the door when John placed a hand on it. 

“(Y/N), can we talk?” John’s words were shaky as he kept his gaze on his feet. 

Your heart skipped a beat as you looked at him. 

“Yeah, of course we can,” your voice was laced with nerves. 

Your hands began to shake as he stepped into your room and shut the door. What was going to happen? Was this it? Or was this the end before it even had the chance to begin? 

You both stood in silence for a few more seconds than was comfortable. Not knowing how to begin. 

“Did I do something wrong?” John’s voice was one of confusion.

You sighed. You knew this would be a question. 

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” you told him.

He shook his head and dragged a palm down his face. 

“Then tell me why you’ve been acting so strange for four days.” his tone was gruff as he looked at you with questioning eyes. 

“It’s not your fault if that’s what you’re thinking.” You did your best to remain calm. John noticed the way your hands wrung together as you answered him. 

Now, in his mind, that meant he was the exact reason you cut yourself off from everyone. 

“I know I was cold before I left, okay? I’m sorry.” You could see he was getting frustrated. But he didn’t seem angry, he didn’t sound like he was gonna yell. He just looked tired. 

“You don’t have to be sorry. We all have bad times, not everyone gets to be happy and teeming with life all of the time.” You tried to give some kind of reassurance. 

“I was an asshole for just leaving like that.” he admited. Your stomach dropped, and your eyes narrowed. 

You couldn’t stand the fact that he was so harsh on himself. Sure, it wasn’t the nicest way to leave things after what had happened that morning. But not everyone deals with fear the same way. He tends to turn his head away and pretend it doesn’t exist. To be honest, he doesn’t do a great job at pretending, but he tries. 

“I understand, John.” The softness of your voice made him wince. You reached forward and gently, almost hesitantly, took his hand in yours. 

The feeling of your palm against his and the cool silver of your rings between his fingers caused a shiver to run through him. He didn’t want to look at you in fear he’d break, and so he kept his gaze focused on the floor. All he could see were your socked feet right in front of his, a reminder of how soft you were compared to him. He could easily lift you into his arms and never put you down. 

“What do you understand?” John’s shoulders relaxed as your thumb gently pressed circles over his pulse point. 

“That you’re scared,” you dared say it as his eyes finally came up to meet yours. He could see the nerves on your face. You didn’t want to upset him or make him feel less than because you could tell he was afraid to try again. 

The look in his eyes was something you had never seen. It wasn’t hurt or anger. It wasn’t confusion or frustration. It was almost as if he were completely bare. His eyes held a vulnerability you had never seen. His hand tightened in yours. You encouraged him to sit with you on your bed. 

The bed sank beneath his weight, and it almost felt like that weight was more than just muscle and bone. It was his fear, his struggle, his doubt. It was as if everything that he kept locked away to haunt him on a sunny day came out to play. You could see the way he seemed to bend to its will and weight. 

It broke your heart. You slid from the bed and onto your knees in front of him. He looked up at the sensation of someone’s hand on his knee. John’s eyes were weary as he looked at you. 

“John, it’s ok to be afraid. I think we all are on some level, and no one deserves to carry that weight alone.” Upon hearing your words, his heart sighed. 

“I don’t know what I’m doing anymore,” his voice came out as a whisper. 

Your gaze softened, if possible, as you placed your palms on his face. 

“We can figure it out together if that’s what you want.” The suggestion caused his breath to hitch.

The man leaned into your touch, his stubble softly scratched at your palms, and you smiled. 

“Okay,” his confirmation was firm but quiet. It was as if he was saying, ‘I trust you’. 

He leaned forward and placed his forehead against yours. “Together,” you promised, nose nudging his softly. 

You weren’t sure how long you stayed there until his hand, calloused but gentle, gripped your chin. Your breath got caught in your throat as you felt him tip your head back. 

Looking up at him, your eyes sparkled. He looked at you again, as if you were the only thing in this world he wanted to call his. As if you were the only thing he has and ever will need. 

His thumb smoothed over your bottom lip, you could hear your heart beat against your ribs. You were so close to him, you were scared he might be able to hear it. The look in his eyes showed something so soft, his gaze wasn’t looking through you; he was looking at you.

Really looking, it was as though he wanted to memorize you. 

John’s hand was steady as he cradled your jaw. Instinctively, you leaned into his touch, and little did you know how that made him feel. 

There was a feeling he got in his chest, a warmth bloomed within him that felt just like you. 

He could finally breathe; there was no need to hide. Something in the way you so easily melted into his touch showed just how much you trusted him. 

With your eyes closed, you could feel the way he looked at you. You felt him shift, and soon enough, you were off the floor and in his arms. The shock was easily noticed in the small yelp you let out and how you instantly held onto him. The feeling of you clinging to him made his heart race, and his head swim.

With your legs on either side of him and that look in your eyes, he swore time stopped for a moment. It was easy to see what you wanted, and John still couldn’t believe that it was him. 

From his position, he gazed slightly upward at you. The smile on your face was all it took to confirm just how in love with you he was. And no matter how much that still scared him, it’s all he’s wanted since the day he met you. You couldn’t stand him then, and here you are looking at him like he was your world, like he was so much more than a broken man. 

The grip on your hips suddenly tightened as he tugged you closer. He felt your hand creep its way into his hair, gently tugging the strands. He saw the way your gaze flickered to his lips when his hand traced its way up your body to grip your neck, continuing to urge you closer.

The way you completely melted into him felt like the first ray of sun after the longest winter of his life. But what he didn’t expect was the way your lips would feel against his. 

The kiss wasn’t desperate or messy. It was everything that it needed to be, gentle, slow, a complete culmination of months and months of pining. 

You pulled away, both of you in awe of the moment you shared. 

John’s eyes searched your expression, to see nothing but wonderment. A certain charged anticipation rolling off of you in waves. He didn’t know what to say, so he let himself fall into everything that you were to him. 

Strength, peace, and absolute divinity. 

You sighed against his lips and ran your hands over his broad shoulders. The feeling of the man in front of you letting himself get lost in you was all that you had wanted. There in that moment, you got to experience what it felt like to be consumed by devotion, every sound, every sigh, every breath was captured by his lips. His large hand moved to cradle your jaw, tilting your head in a way that he could deepen the kiss. 

His teeth grazed your bottom lip, and you moaned softly into his mouth. A kiss was placed on your open mouth as his hand slid down to place a gentle grip on your throat. Not too harshly but with enough pressure to know you’ll feel his hold for days. Enough to make you greedy for his grip. Your head fell back as he left open-mouthed kisses across your warm skin. 

Your fingers tangled in his hair, doing your best to keep him close. The feeling of his stubble scratching along your sensitive skin made you shudder. 

He placed a hand on the back of your head so he could bring his lips to yours one more time. 

John opened his eyes just to see you with yours still closed, your lips were kiss swollen. You looked like the best thing that’s ever happened to him. 

“You look so pretty like this,” his voice was raspy, and you could feel the words vibrate in his chest. 

Opening your eyes, you found he was already looking at you. You felt heat rush to your face at his words, and you turned your head away to avoid his gaze. Your nose nuzzled against his wrist, and you placed a tender kiss on his skin.

You heard him hum lowly at the feeling, and felt as he turned you back to face him. 

“Please don’t hide from me, sweet girl, not now.” his words made your heart skip a beat. 

“I’m not going anywhere. I’m all yours if you want me,” you told him, and he grinned. 

“I’ve never wanted anyone more.” John pressed his forehead to yours.

----

The next day came, and as you were once again getting coffee. You were just hoping you might be able to finish and enjoy your coffee this time. 

Alexei and Bucky were the only ones in the kitchen when you entered, and you smiled sleepily at them both. They could tell that something had happened. You were different, they could see the love written all over your face. 

Bucky’s heart swelled as he took in how radiant you were, how happy you were. 

“Good night (y/n)?” Bucky asked with a small smirk. 

You looked at him and rolled your eyes playfully. You could tell he was teasing you. 

“Perfect, actually. Thanks for asking,” you retorted, and he chuckled. 

“Perfect. Wow, that’s big change. You look like you slept well for the first time in days!” Alexei cheered as boisterously as ever. 

“Well, thanks, I guess being a raccoon just wasn’t for me.” You said and shrugged.

Before anyone could say anything, John walked in, immediately kissing your head. 

“I like you exactly the way you are,” he whispered as his arms wrapped your waist. 

“What if I were actually a raccoon? Would you still love me?” you questioned him. 

“Yeah, of course,” he huffed out a laugh. 

“What about me?!” Alexei interjected. 

“Yes,”

“No”

You and John answered at the same time. He looked at you like you were crazy.

“Everyone deserves to be loved, even raccoons,” you shrugged.

[imaginestuffs]

I need to finish my my John Walker fanfiction. I need to finish it now, I just reread what I wrote and I want to know how it ends. It must be finished for the sake of all that's good in this world.

[imaginestuffs]

Literally happening to me right now.

What I hate about writing is when I have to write so much before I finally get to the part I actually wanted to write.

[imaginestuffs]

READ THIS IF YOU NEED TO EXPERIENCE THE HAPPIEST MOMENTS OF YOUR LIFE.

Smitten

Summary : Sam finally meets Bucky’s girlfriend, though you’re not who he thinks you are. 

Pairing : Bucky Barnes x hero!reader (she/her) 

Warnings/tags : Fluff fluff FLUFF! Joaquin and Sam are in this. Introverted! Reader. Brief mentions of violence. Cursing. 

Requested by : anon (based on this request)

Word count : 2.3k

Note : This satisfies my need to stay at home all day haha! Enjoy!

Sam had never met Bucky’s girlfriend.

But he had heard of you.

A lot about you, actually.

Nine months ago, Bucky had started mentioning you after you met at a bookshop. You were this hero, who, by all accounts, should have been the most intimidating woman on the planet. You were skilled and ruthless when necessary, even Hydra handlers would probably admire your work. Joaquin had read the files— how you tracked down an entire weapons trafficking ring by yourself, left every single one of the enemy in various states of agony, and managed to leave without any fatalities.

“Have you seen the mission reports? She’s so precise it’s actually terrifying,” Joaquin had said on the way to Bucky’s apartment, telling every legendary story he had heard about you. “I heard they took down a whole warehouse of mercenaries with a pair of batons. Not even a gun! She sounds mean.”

Sam chuckled, adjusting the bag of soda in his hands. “No way anyone is meaner than Bucky, though.”

“We’ll see, man.” Joaquin grinned. “Maybe she makes him look nice.”

Sam snorted. If that were the case, he was dying to meet you.

But the thing was, as terrifying as you apparently were on the field, Bucky talked about you like you were… fragile.

It started six months ago, when you officially became a couple.

Sam started noticing the way Bucky’s face changed when he mentioned you. He’d have a slight smile that softened the hard lines of his forehead. His voice would lose that slightly gruff tone, growing softer the more he mentioned you. 

And fuck knows he talked about you all the damn time.

Not just about how skilled you were, though Sam had gotten enough secondhand mission briefings to wonder if Bucky was keeping a shrine somewhere. No, he often talked about the little things. Like how you stole the blankets in your sleep. Or how you tried (and failed) to teach Bucky how to use a bo staff. Or how you sent Bucky the stupidest memes at 3 AM, knowing full well you’d have to explain half of them in person. 

And God help them all if you did something impressive— Bucky would pretend to be all casual about it, but then five minutes later, he’d be bringing it up again saying how proud he was of his girlfriend capturing four cops illegally dealing rifles to civilians.

“You’re not subtle,” Sam had pointed out once, after Bucky spent a debrief clearly distracted.

Bucky shrugged, though he was mentally counting down the minutes to when he’d see you again. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You got that look.”

“What look?”

“The ‘I’m thinking about my girlfriend’ look.” Sam smirked. “It’s gross, by the way.”

Bucky had just scoffed something under his breath and rolled his eyes. 

So yeah, Sam had never met you. Between your missions and his, the opportunity just never aligned.

But by now, he felt like he already knew you.

And tonight, after months of hearing Bucky talk about you like a hopelessly lovesick super soldier—he and Joaquin were finally going to meet the Winter Soldier’s girlfriend.

—

They had expected you to be brutal. Brash. Maybe even a little cold, given your reputation.

Instead, when Bucky opened the door, the first words out of his mouth were, “Hey, uh—just so you guys know, my girlfriend’s a little nervous about meeting you.”

Sam paused mid-step. What?

Bucky shifted, scratching the back of his neck. “She’s, uh… not really the social type.”

Joaquin raised an eyebrow, shooting Sam a look. Sam could tell he was just as confused. “Your girlfriend?”

“Yes, my girlfriend,” Bucky deadpanned, crossing his arms.

Before Sam could respond, a small blur of white streaked past Bucky’s feet making a beeline for Joaquin, weaving between his legs and rubbing against his boots. It took a second for his brain to catch up, but then— oh. It was the kitten. Alpine. Bucky adopted her a couple weeks ago. Sam had received no less than five photos a day from Bucky over the last two weeks, each one featuring the cat in a different pose, with captions like—

"Look at her lil’ paws." "She fell asleep on my chest." "She just sneezed."

Before Sam could make a funny remark, he heard a voice come from  inside the apartment.

“Alpine, no. Come here, baby,” you said gently.

Sam blinked. That was his girlfriend?

You appeared, peeking out from the kitchen doorway. You looked… normal. Cozy, even. Dressed in comfortable clothes, eyes wide, fingers fidgeting at your sides.

The gears in Sam’s felt like they needed oiling for a second.

This was you? The you?

The same person who had infiltrated high-security facilities without breaking a sweat? The same person who single-handedly takes down crime syndicates left and right? The same woman he read about in news articles and mission reports?

You gave them both a hesitant smile and a small wave. “Um. Hi.”

Joaquin, bless him, recovered from the initial shock first. “Hey!” he said, “We’ve heard so much about you.”

Your smile widened. Your shoulders started to relax. “All good things, I hope.”

Before Sam could even wrap his head around how soft-spoken you were, Bucky stepped closer to you. Gone was the battle-hardened soldier, and in his place was a man so ridiculously in love that it almost made Sam uncomfortable to witness. But no, he was just happy that his friend was happy. In shock, but happy nonetheless.

Bucky reached for you carefully, like you were made of the most fragile glass. His hand found the small of your back, thumb rubbing soothing circles.

“Darlin’, you wanna come say hi properly?” he asked, his voice so different from the barks Sam was used to hearing in the field.

You nodded, stepping fully into view.

And then—because apparently, this wasn’t enough of a shock to Sam’s system—Bucky tucked you against his side protectively and pressed a kiss to your temple.

Oh?

Who the hell was this man, and what the hell had you done to Bucky Barnes?

—

Dinner was homemade.

More specifically, dinner was homemade by Bucky.

Sam had to find a place to sit down when you told him that. He blinked at the plate in front of him, wondering why the hell it looked so… appetising.

“Bucky can’t cook,” he whispered to himself, utterly baffled.

Joaquin shrugged.

“He can now,” you said in a small but proud voice, giving Bucky a playful nudge. “He wanted to impress me.”

Bucky huffed, but even as he rolled his eyes, his hand found your knee under the table, rubbing absentminded circles just because. “Did it work?”

You tapped your chin, pretending to think it over. “Mmmmm. Maybe.”

The usually grumpy super soldier actually grinned from ear to ear.

Sam had to rub his damn eyes.

This wasn’t real. This had to be an illusion. Maybe he’d fallen asleep on the couch, and this was some bizarre fever dream where Bucky was, for lack of a better word, domesticated.

Meanwhile, Joaquin had already taken a bite. His eyes went wide. “Damn, Buck.” He shoveled another spoonful of mashed potatoes into his mouth and made a pleased noise. “You’ve been hiding this skill from us?”

Bucky shrugged, “Wasn’t for you.”

You turned to him. “It’s very good, my love.”

My love.

Since when was Bucky alright with pet names?

Instead of scowling or brushing it off, Bucky just squeezed your hand with his metal fingers, his thumb stroking over your knuckles.

This was Bucky Barnes. Bucky “I’m not exactly a people person” Barnes. Bucky “respect my personal space or I’ll kill you” Barnes.

And here he was, letting you call him ‘my love.’

Sam needed another minute. Maybe even a drink. Anything to help process whatever the hell was happening in front of him.

Joaquin, already on his third bite, didn’t seem as concerned. He waved his fork in the air, nodding approvingly. “I’m impressed. If this is what love does to you, maybe I need to find someone, too.”

“Don’t worry,” Bucky said, “I’m sure someone, somewhere, is into birds.”

Joaquin groaned. 

You giggled, but nudged Bucky’s shoulder anyway. “Be nice.”

Bucky just grumbled under his breath as you leaned in and pressed gentle kisses to his metal knuckles.

And that was it. That was the moment Sam lost all grip on reality.

Because Bucky Barnes—the man who used to flinch at the idea of being touched—literally melted.

He let out a pleased hum as he leaned into you, eyes closing for just a second like he was soaking in the moment. And when he opened them again Sam could’ve sworn they were actual heart eyes.

—

Over dinner, Joaquin—ever the eager one—started asking about your fieldwork.

“So, that human trafficking bust you pulled off last month,” he said, buzzing with admiration. “That was insane. I mean, the level of planning—”

You flushed, ducking your head slightly. “Oh, um. It wasn’t that impressive.”

Joaquin shook his head. “Are you kidding? You dismantled their operation without any collateral damage!”

You let out a small, almost embarrassed laugh, “I just… I try my best.”

Sam set down his fork, “How many did you have to fight?”

You hesitated for a beat. “Seven,” you admitted, pulling down your sleeves as casually as you could manage. Your knuckles were still scarred, bruises blooming beneath. “It would’ve just been five, but the two younger ones—I told them to stand down but I guess they thought they could take me.”

Bet they underestimated you, Sam thought. 

“How old were they?” Sam asked.

“Probably barely out of their teens,” You shrugged. “They were involved, but… they were scared. Probably in too deep to see another way out. I had to put them down, but I pulled my punches. You know the drill.”

Sam tilted his head, knowing firsthand what it’s like. “That can’t be easy.”

You looked at him and shrugged. “It’s not.”

Joaquin, on the other hand, was still practically vibrating in his seat. “I just don’t get how you’re so effective without even being—” He gestured vaguely. “You know. Mean.”

You blinked. “Mean?”

“Yeah, like… I kinda thought you’d be scarier.”

Bucky snorted into his drink. “She is scary.”

Joaquin shot him a skeptical look. “Dude. She just apologised for taking the last bread roll.”

Bucky didn’t even hesitate. “She’s polite. That doesn’t mean she won’t put you in the ground.”

Joaquin turned to you. “Would you?”

You tilted your head, considering. “If you threatened Bucky, maybe.”

Sam let out a laugh, then shook his head. “I just don’t get it.” He said, “How do you go from that”— he made a concerning stabby gesture— “to this?”

He wasn’t wrong. Sometimes, even Bucky had to admit that the contrast was ridiculous.

You sighed, picking at your food. “Because after all that I just wanna go home.”

Joaquin raised a brow. “And do what? Train?”

“No, I wanna be a gremlin,” you said, amused. “I wanna wear my pajamas, turn off my phone, and pretend I don’t know what daylight is.”

Bucky grinned, nudging your foot under the table. “Tell ‘em about the crafts, sweetheart.”

You shot him a look, but Bucky just smirked.

Joaquin looked up. “Crafts?”

You let out a deep breath, feeling your face heat up. “I, um. I like making things.”

Sam’s brows furrowed. “Like… what?”

Sam had no idea he was about to sit through a thirty-minute lecture on yarn selection.

Strangely, he kind of enjoyed it.

—

By the end of the night, you had warmed up to them both.

Sam had never seen anything like it—you were quiet, sure, but once you got comfortable, you were easy to talk to. It felt… so at odds with the stories he’d heard about you.

And when Joaquin offhandedly mentioned that he’d always wanted to learn how to crochet, your eyes lit up.

“Oh! I could teach you,” you said, eyes jumping to your feet. “It’s actually very relaxing after sending seven human traffickers to a hospital.”

Joaquin choked on his drink, but had a delighted grin on his face. “Yeah?”

“I’ll give you the basics now.” You turned, holding out a hand. “Jamie, can you pass me the yarn?”

Sam could’ve sworn he heard the record scratch in real-time.

Jamie?

The only two people who had ever called Bucky by any variety of his first name were his therapist and Zemo, and Bucky hated both.

But when you said it, Bucky just… melted.

No grumbling. No don’t call me thats.

Just a look of hopeless adoration as he grabbed the yarn and handed it over like a man under a spell.

And so, with Alpine curled up on Bucky’s lap, you spent the next twenty minutes patiently teaching Joaquin how to crochet.

“Okay, so start by making a slipknot,” you instructed.

Joaquin followed your movements, tongue out like it would help his concentration. “Like this?”

“Just tighten it a little.”

Bucky watched with his chin propped on his fist, looking so ridiculously in love that Sam actually had to look away for a second.

“Dude,” Joaquin said, still focused on his stitches. “Your girlfriend is my new best friend.”

Bucky shrugged. “Get in line.”

Joaquin grinned at you. “Hey, if I can’t do it myself, will you make me a glove or something’?”

Before you could answer, Bucky cut in, “No.”

You looked at your boyfriend. “No?”

Bucky crossed his arms. “I had to earn my sweater. Torres doesn’t get free stuff.”

Sam stared at him. “I can’t believe you own a handmade sweater.”

Bucky shrugged. “Several, actually.”

Sam leaned back in his chair, shaking his head. “I don’t know who you are anymore.”

Bucky just smiled, reaching for your hand, tracing slow circles against your palm.

“Yeah, you do.”

And Sam, watching the way Bucky looked at you, like you were the best thing to ever happen to him, had to admit—

Yeah.

He did.

-end.

General Bucky taglist:

@hotlinepanda @snflwr-vol6 @ruexj283 @2honeybees @read-just-cant

 @shanksstrawhat @mystictf @globetrotter28 @thebuckybarnesvault@average-vibe

@winchestert101 @mystictf @globetrotter28 @shanksstrawhat @scariusaquarius

@reckless007 @hextech-bros @daydreamgoddess14 @96jnie @pono-pura-vida

@buckyslove1917 @notsostrangerthing @flow33didontsmoke @qvynrand @blackbirdwitch22

@torntaltos @seventeen-x @ren-ni @iilsenewman @slayerofthevampire

@hiphip-horray @jbbucketlist @melotyy @ethereal-witch24 @samfunko

@lilteef @hi172826 @pklol @average-vibe @shanksstrawhat

@shower-me-with-roses @athenabarnes @scarwidow @thriving-n-jiving @dilfsaresohot

@helloxgoodbi @undf-stuff @sapphirebarnes @hzdhrtss @softhornymess

[imaginestuffs]

Graveyard

summary: As the unofficial healer for the Avengers, you pride yourself on the ability to mend heroes with the touch of your hand. Only, your gift comes at a heavy price — one you keep secret from your friends —and when Bucky asks you to do the impossible, they’ll discover why your gift is called a sacrifice, too.  pairing: bucky x healer!reader word count: 10k warnings: canon level violence

As a child, you were told it was a gift; placed upon a pedestal above the quaint suffering of a rural town and removed of your innocence for the good of strangers. You’d been made to be revered – honored – for the touch that could mend the broken.  

It began with a cut upon your father’s finger – a slip of a kitchen knife that had left a small bead of blood in its wake. Curious eyes glanced up at your father as he hissed at the sting of it and you’d reach forward to place your infant hand upon the cut, a grip so mall it barely wrapped around his finger. He stilled as a soft glow began to emit from your palm. When you removed your hand and began to cry, your father was stunned to find his skin perfectly intact – no trace of a scar in its place.  

They told you it was a gift, celebrated you as if you were a blessing from Heaven itself. But they were cruel in their rejoice, selfish in their praise. They had not considered your gift was not a gift at all – but a sacrifice.  

Like energy, pain could not be destroyed— but it could be absorbed. It could be transferred. Your father’s cut had not simply disappeared, but instead manifested on the finger of an infant for a few short moments before it faded into your skin; laid to rest amongst a sea of foreign injuries that did not belong to you.  

Keep reading

[imaginestuffs]

Potion- Bob Reynolds x F! Reader

word count:2,012

warnings: fluff, fluff, fluff

Summary: Bob realizes he's in love, as he replays his favorite memories with you.

inspired by Potion by Djo

When you met Bob for the first time, time seemed to slow down. You’re not exactly sure what happened, but it crashed over you like a wave. His energy was unlike anything you had felt in your entire life. It was strong, it was ever present, it was undeniable, but so pure. His power was clouded with pain and fear, yet you could feel the innocence of a broken boy.

You knew then that you would do anything to protect him from anyone, and when needed, himself. 

Something about being with him seemed so simple, so easy. Though he never thought that could be the case. You found him to be a comfort, and you hoped with everything in you that he felt the same for you.

He had told you about his fear of hurting anyone again, and you knew that would be there for quite some time. It might even last a lifetime, but that doesn’t mean you would let him carry the weight by himself.

Every step of the way, you assured him that you’d be there for him.

Bob knew you didn’t know how he felt. He knew you couldn’t read his thoughts. 

He just wanted someone to leave a light on for him at the end of the day. He wanted to have someone to come back to after a mission, someone to call home.

He needed to understand what it was to be loved. He searched everywhere, high and low, for a love that was something he knew he could fall back into. Something he knew was steady and sure, he needed stability to keep him grounded, to keep the clouds at bay. But it seemed that the only thing that loved him was those clouds.

At a point in time, things seemed to shift.

Bob began to look at you differently. He began to see something new. Realization was finally striking after so many memories came flooding in.

---

It was 3:00 in the morning when you heard a soft tapping at your door. You rubbed the sleep from your eyes and stepped out of bed. Wincing at the cold floor against your feet. 

You get to the door and open it just a bit, and there he stood, messy hair, wrinkled pajamas, it was Bob. You could tell by the exhaustion in his eyes that he had not been sleeping well.

“Hey Bob, are you ok, honey?” You always used sweet words when speaking to him. You wanted him to think he was cared for. That he mattered to someone enough to hear those words. 

He looked shaken, and you realized what it was. Bob had a nightmare. 

“I, I didn’t know what else to do, or where to go.” his voice was quivering, and your heart broke. 

“Come on in, you’re always welcome to be in here,” you told him, and opened the door more so he could step past you. 

He had looked a bit embarrassed, and you were going to have none of that.

“I hope you don’t feel bad about this. I want you to know that I care, and if you ever need anything, I’ll be here.” Giving his arm a squeeze before gently guiding him over to sit on the bed with you.

“I don’t know how to do this,” came his soft voice.

“Do what Bob?” The question came out so gently. It was a way he was never used to hearing people speak to him.

A shuddering breath spilled out of him, and he shut his eyes tightly. It almost seemed that he was scared to answer you.

“Take your time, honey, we have all night,” you reassured him.

He nodded his head and continued to take deep breaths. Eyes shut and brow furrowed, he sat there in silence. Placing your hand on his knee seemed to bring him back to reality. Your touch was reassuring and steadfast, and it brought him a very rare semblance of peace. 

You were content to sit with him in the quiet until he was ready to speak. It took a while before he turned to look at you. When he did, you gave him a soft smile, and he almost broke.

Seeing the tears in his eyes, you let your thumb move in soothing circles against his knee. 

“It’s ok, Bob, I’m not going anywhere,” you told him. 

“I don’t- I don’t know how to… ask for help,” he revealed to you. 

Something in you snapped, and you just wanted to pull him into a hug and never let go. But you held yourself back, not wanting to overwhelm him in a moment of vulnerability. 

“Sometimes it’s hard to ask, it feels like you may be seen as weak. Am I right?” not trying to assume what he was feeling in this moment. 

He nodded his head and looked away from you.

“I see it as a sign of courage and strength. Knowing when you need help, and being brave enough to admit some things can’t be done alone. You don’t have to do it all alone, Bob. I promise.”

“I’ve never felt this way, I didn’t think anyone would want to help me. I have so much weight to carry.” He told you.

“Well, there are many people here who have grown to care for you. I care for you, and I won’t let you carry the burden alone. We can be in this together if you’d like,” you offered him.

He grabbed your hand as if saying yes. As if saying thank you.

--

The sun was shining and the air was light. It was a difference compared to the rain you’d been having for a week. 

There was something you had been wanting to do for a long time now. You wanted to go for a walk in the sun. But not by yourself, you wanted Bob to come along, so you set off to find him.

It took a bit of searching to find him sitting in front of an open window. The look on his face was so peaceful, he looked like his tension had disappeared. 

Making your way over to him slowly, you sat across from him. The warmth and soft breeze coming from the window were comforting.

Bob looked at you with a soft smile. 

“What are you doing here?” he asked with curiosity at your quiet entry.

“I was looking for you, and I found you, so I’m here. If you’re alright with that,” Your eyebrow raised, and a smile took over your lips. 

He chuckled softly before nodding. “It’s alright with me,” He nudged your knee with his. 

“I wanted to ask if you’d like to go on a walk with me?” Your question hung in the air for a few seconds. 

He looked like he was contemplating, “I’d like that very much.” his smile grew, and so did yours. 

You stood and reached out your hand for him to take. His hand slid into yours, palms brushing and fingers intertwining. It made your cheeks warm up. 

He saw your eyes soften as you gently tugged him to follow you. 

“It’s finally warm outside. I feel like it’s been years since the sun showed herself,” you said as you stepped into the daylight. 

Bob stared at you as your head tilted toward the sun, and any tension you had had left you. You looked so light,  like the only things that existed were you and the sun.

His eyes couldn’t seem to leave you, and his grip on your hand tightened.

You looked over at him just to see him staring. Chuckling, you began to tug him toward a secluded trail you had found at the park a while ago.

“Walking with you is everything I needed today. The sun, the warmth, and you.” his heart skipped at your words. 

Not being used to people talking to or about him like that, he was shocked. Despite you always being that sweet, he didn’t think he could ever get used to it. 

Bob came to a halt and gently pulled you closer to him. You looked at him with confusion, not sure what he may be doing. That is, until he hugged you, he wrapped his arms around you and for just a moment you were holding the sun in your arms. 

He just glowed, his aura was intense but in a way that made you feel safer than you ever have.

Relaxing into his hold, you let yourself be in that moment. 

Bob truly felt like you were his home; you were his peace of mind.

--

There you sat on your bed with a book in your hand. Waiting around wasn’t something you usually did for most people. But he wasn’t most people, he was your person.

Bob had gone on his first mission with Yelena and John, and to be honest you were scared. You had wanted to go with them, to be there for him but Valentina refused. 

None of you understood why, but you had no choice.

So you stayed back, it was odd not seeing him every day. It was odd not catching his gaze from across the room, or spending nights talking about everything and anything because he was too scared to sleep. 

Your bed felt empty as you sat alone on the left side because he preferred the right side. It just didn’t feel right being on his side of the bed. 

As a result of his not being beside you, you stayed up. Unable to fall asleep despite how tired you were. Having no clue when he would return, you decided waiting for him was the best bet. And if you fell asleep, you chose to leave the light on for him. So he would know you were waiting for him to come home.

Well, as it turned out, you eventually did fall asleep. Your book was forgotten beside you, as your face was buried in your pillow. But the light was left on.

Bob returned from the mission completely exhausted. All he wanted was to take a shower and see you. Get to lie with you, as you gently coaxed him into a peaceful sleep.

He couldn’t explain how different it was to turn and not see you standing beside him. Despite every ounce of support he got from Yelena, she wasn’t you. That meant nothing against her; she was a great help, and he was so grateful, but she couldn’t do all that you did. 

Yelena couldn’t calm his fears with the touch of her hand. She couldn’t give him one look and have all his tension dissipate. She wasn’t his home, she wasn’t his person. That was you.

He took the quickest shower of his life and raced toward your room. He saw the door slightly ajar, and light seeping out from inside. His soul filled with warmth. You left the light on for him.

---

He looked to his side and saw you with your head against his shoulder. His arm was slung around your shoulders, he gently pulled you closer. You sighed sleepily and tucked your head against his chest. It all felt completely surreal, he was the one protecting you, keeping you safe from your fears.

Your eyes opened, and you looked up at him with a sleepy grin.

“I missed you.” Your voice was groggy, and your touch gentle as you grabbed his hand resting on your shoulder to pull yourself tighter into his embrace. 

His smile was soft as he looked down at you. 

“You missed me?” he teased. 

“Uh-huh. I miss you whenever I can’t see you,” you admitted to him. 

“You miss me while you sleep?” he chuckled softly.

“Of course I do. I also know that I love waking up to you next to me. In fact,” You paused for a moment, “I just love you.” You revealed to him. 

At that moment, he finally realized he was in love. 

Wholeheartedly in love with you, and he told you so.

“I love you, too.” 

[imaginestuffs]

leave the door open- Bob Reynolds x F! Reader

word count: 2,086

warnings: slight angst, some fluff, and I believe that's it! Also, Bob may be a bit OOC. This is my first time writing for him!

Summary: The reader feels as if Bob is slipping through her fingers, so she decides to try to save her heart.

So many things have changed since what happened in New York all those months ago. It seemed that you and Bob had become even closer than you ever thought. You went to each other for most things. If you wanted company, or even if you just needed a hand to hold. It was obvious to everyone that you needed each other. 

The scary thing is, you had begun to feel your heart warm when you saw him glance your way. Your thoughts raced when he sat next to you at team meetings. Your head began to spin when he held your hand when you both needed each other most. 

There seemed to be something so different about him, not in his obvious differences. But small things he did:

Moving his hand closer to yours when he was nervous.

The way his shoulders relaxed when stepping out on a sunny day

Noticing whenever your mood was different and trying to help.

Leaning into you when you kissed his head before separating for the night.

Nothing went unnoticed by you. It all meant more to you than you’d ever let on.

Most of the time, you felt as if you were the only one he saw.

But sometimes things change.

You started to notice how much closer he was getting to Yelena. He would go to her room instead of yours after a nightmare. The door to your room always stayed slightly open. Enough to let him know he was more than welcome to come in when he needed you. Yet each night he would pass your door and knock on the one across the hall. She’d always let him in.

During the day, he was about the same as usual. Ever-sweet and a quiet comfort.

You’d ask him to go on walks with you, but he had plans with Yelena. Or he had somewhere else, somewhere better to be.

There were moments of normalcy, but those moments began to hurt.

You felt like your heart was burned and your soul stretched thin. It didn’t feel right, at least not to you. In your mind, you assumed it was the same for him, he felt like it was necessary in order to protect you. To shield you from the fact that he stopped needing you.

Naturally, you began to distance yourself, thinking that if you did this, it wouldn’t hurt as badly. Keeping the door closed at night, calling goodnight over your shoulder as you walked away. 

Sitting with one seat between you both. Folding your hands in your lap, playing with your rings instead of intertwining your fingers with his. 

Ignoring the odd stares you get from the team. Forcing yourself to avoid looking at him like you used to. 

Pretending not to notice the concern on John’s face as you pass by him. Oddly enough, he was the one you were closest to besides Bob. He was a friend to you. He would check in with you when Bob had begun his slow and painful detachment from you. 

John could see how hurt you were, unlike the others who couldn’t seem to tell.

He’d give you a friendly squeeze when you seemed more down than usual, he did his best to support you. You were grateful for him, you really were, but he couldn’t fix it, and you’d never blame him for that; it was something that only time could fix. Either by bringing you together again, or completely cutting your bonds to him.

Bob had gone from being essential to living life normally to being someone who didn’t seem to care anymore.

You slid past him in the hallways, you nodded polite greetings, but you couldn’t handle a conversation like you used to have.

Not wanting him to feel forced to talk to you, if he didn’t want to. 

Seeing him sitting next to Yelena made you want to cry. But you didn’t, you held it in because that’s what you believe will make it all go away. Convincing yourself you have no emotion was harder than it seemed, seeing as you tended to wear your heart on your sleeve.

You never noticed, but Bob was confused. He didn’t seem to understand why you had closed yourself off. Things didn’t click for him, he thought it was something he had done wrong. Something that had scared you away.

He went to Yelena as a friend seeking advice. Trying to understand the feelings he was having. Wondering why all he could think of was you.

All the little things you would do kept him awake at night:

The way you kissed his head before going to sleep at night.

Leaving the door open for him.

The way you’d reach the rest of the way to grab his hand, rubbing your thumb across the back of his hand.

When you’d offer to go on walks because you could tell when he needed fresh air.

It was as if a switch flipped, and you decided you didn’t need him anymore. Didn’t want him anymore, didn’t like him anymore. It was as if his world was shattering again.

He did his best to keep to tradition, holding your hand, letting you kiss his head before bed. 

One day, you had all together avoided him, and since then, he didn’t know what else to do. He fell back into Yelena, he fell back into her support, just as you had done with John.

You walked into the main room one afternoon to read a book by the window, when you saw them.

Bob and Yelen wrapped up together in a blanket. They had fallen asleep on each other, his head rested on hers, and the credits of a movie rolled on the TV. 

Your heart dropped through the floor, and everything that was a strong suspicion for you came to fruition. 

You felt a lump form in your throat, and you did your best not to let a cry slip out of your mouth. 

With your luck, Bob woke up at the sound of your sharp intake of breath. His eyes widened at the look on your face. He had never seen you like this. It was a new kind of broken, it wasn’t fear or anxiety. It wasn’t something old. This feeling was new. Your aura had somehow cracked; he could almost hear your heart hit the floor. The look in your eyes was incomparable to anything he’s ever seen.

Almost like you just lost the one you loved the most, like a brutal realization that you’d have to learn to live without someone. 

“(y/n), what’s wrong?” Bob hesitantly asked. His voice seemed to knock you from your daze.

Quickly, you tried to pull it together. “Nothing’s wrong at all. I, um, I just remembered I had somewhere else to be.” The tremble in your voice seemed to betray you. You wanted to leave, but your feet seemed stuck to the floor.

By this time, Yelena woke up. “Bob, is everything ok?” Her voice was sleepy.

Bob said nothing, just continued to look at you. She followed his gaze and immediately perked up. 

Her brows furrowed at the sight of you. “(y/n), are you ok? Has something happened?” 

Bob stood from the couch and walked closer to you. You tightly shut your eyes, you could feel how close he was, and you didn’t know what to do. You so desperately wanted to collapse into his arms, but after what you’d seen, you weren’t sure if that would be appropriate. 

You wanted him back, you wanted him to be yours only. But that just wasn’t how it worked. 

“No, no, nothing’s happened. I think I’m a bit tired, so I’ll go to my room and read.

Didn’t mean to interrupt you or anything, I’m going, I promise,” you spit out in a semblance of a sentence.

“Hey, you don’t have to leave. You weren’t interrupting anything at all. Why don’t you stay?” Bob tried to coax you into staying.

“I’m ok, I’m just going to go to my room now, you guys can stay in here, I don’t mind.” you said and began to walk away.

“Please stop avoiding me. I’m right here, you know, I’ve been here waiting for you to see me again,” he called out to you.

You could hear the pain in his voice, and didn’t understand how he could say that when he pulled away first. 

You turned around and looked at him with hurt written on your face. 

“How could you say that? What do you mean you’ve been waiting for me to see you?” you questioned and stepped closer.

“You pass me in the hallway with nothing but a nod, you act like I’m a stranger. Like you don’t need me anymore,” his voice shook. 

You had to do your best to stay calm for his sake. Despite how much you wanted to yell and show him how much he hurt you, you couldn’t do that to him. The sweet and empathetic man you loved so much.

You let out a deep breath. “I thought that’s what you wanted.” Your voice wavered.

His shoulders fell. “Why would I ever want that?” he took another step closer.

“ You didn’t want me, you want Yelena instead. I’m not sure what I did, but I’m sorry, I’m so sorry I made you not love me anymore.”  Your eyes widened at your last words. That wasn’t what you meant to come out. 

You didn’t even admit it to yourself until now, your brain finally comprehended that you were in love with him.

His eyes matched yours, and he ran a hand through his hair. Yelena had at this point stepped out of the room. 

“I thought you didn’t want me, I wondered what I did to scare you away. I stayed awake, asking myself what I had done to earn your hatred.” It seemed things were finally being said.

You were both being honest without having the intention to reveal true feelings and thoughts.

“I could never want anyone but you, you’re all I have ever wanted since the day we met. Yelena is my friend. Since we’ve been apart, she’s all I’ve had. You’re all I talk about, you’re the only one I want to love for as long as you’d let me,” he let out a breath he had been holding. 

Your heart seemed to stutter at his words, and you didn’t know what to say.

“You could never scare me away. I don’t fear you, I don’t think I ever could. There has never been and never will be any fiber of my being that could hate you. Everything you are is what I want, everything you are is what I love.” You finally let the words come out. 

Each of you had poured your feelings out. You stood there in front of each other for mere seconds before crashing together. 

His arms wrapped around your waist, and yours around his neck. He buried his face in your shoulder, and you placed a kiss on his temple. 

You let out a watery giggle, and he pulled away a bit. He looked at you to see a smile on your face, the smile he had missed for what seemed like a lifetime. 

“What are you laughing about?” his voice slightly teasing. 

“It all seems a bit unreal, We could’ve had this so much sooner if I didn’t act so childishly. I’m sorry, Bob,” your voice was sincere as you looked at him shyly.

“Well, now we know to communicate before assuming anything,” he responded with a soft smile. 

“Can I ask you something?” Your voice was quiet as you looked up at him. 

“You can ask me anything you want to,” his fingers traced your jaw and came to hold your cheek.

“Is it ok to kiss you now?” A smile took over your lips.

Bob smiled shyly but nodded his head before leaning in to close the space between you.

His lips hovered over yours for a moment before he kissed you fully. He cradled your face in his hand. In that moment, he seemed more sure than you’d ever seen him be. 

Your fingers tugged lightly at his hair, and he sighed against your lips. You gave him one last kiss and pulled away, just enough to speak to him. 

“You don’t have to ask next time, ok?” he spoke softly.

Instead of answering, you smiled and pulled him back in. 

--

A big thank you to

@gaylorbiftarcreactor

@i-want-to-be-your-dreamgirl

You gave me the courage to write for Bob, and I really hope you'll like it!

[imaginestuffs]

somewhere only we know

a/n: i accidentally made this so long & ran with the request in whatever way my heart desired! hope this is enuf hurt/comfort for all ur needs <3 word count: 5.6k summary: You haven’t seen Steve in a few weeks, barely a couple phone-calls keeping your relationship beating. You assume the worst. Steve does his best to make it up to you. [hurt/comfort + miscommunication + established relationship]

It’s hard to not think he’s avoiding you.

Steve never seemed the type of boyfriend who would be foolish enough to ice you out without so much as a word about something being wrong. He wears his heart on his sleeve — more than anyone you know.

You’d also like to think you would know. That by now, all these months together, you’ve would’ve somewhat memorised the twists and turns of his emotions. But if he’s dropped any clues about being upset with you, you certainly hadn’t picked up on them.

You think you’d prefer his iciness to this odd avoidance.

It has to be that he’s upset, you reason. You would prefer he’s upset; that’s fixable, doable, and completely normal for a couple. The alternative is harsh, a cruel thread of insecure thoughts; perhaps Steve has suddenly decided he doesn’t have time for you.

And it’s a lot harder to pretend that thought doesn’t sting terribly.

Keep reading

[imaginestuffs]

desideratum | l.greenleaf

↳ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: desideratum | /dəˌzidəˈrädəm/| noun | something that is needed or wanted.

⇢ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: legolas x reader

⇢ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fluff

⇢ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: none

⇢ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 987

a/n: hii, i haven't written in a while. pls have mercy. gif from @imaginelegolas copyright © | please do not repost my work.

You sat at the edge of the bed, fiddling with the warm, rough sheets looking anywhere but him.

Glancing at the window beside the bed, you stared into the dark and dense woods wondering how you got yourself into these precarious situations. Shifting your focus, you watched as the raindrops chased each other down the window, anything to distract you from the elf right in front of her.

Luckily, you were able to grab the last room of the bustling Inn. It turns out, that you and Legolas were not the only two traveling West. As you entered Rhosgobel, a small town close to the road, a dark storm began to brew and heavy rain began to fall on you both, soaking you to the bone.

The small tavern turned into a safe haven for weary travelers, which made the inn a little busier than usual. Thankfully, the room was a ways away from the noise, nestled in the very back corner of the upper floor.

A busy tavern meant an even busier bar and you found that men can get a little too handsy for your liking. Unfortunately, this led to a small incident that included a drunkard following you to the room and a not-so-merciful elf intervening.

“He’s gone, I promise you that,” he reassured her. “And I can confidently say, he will never be bothering you again.”

A delicate silence fell between them, nothing but the muffled murmurs of the crowd below and the howling wind outside. Catching a chill, you shivered from the clothes you had on or quite possibly from the harassment you had to endure.

“Thank you, I’m sure I could’ve taken care of it...” you said. Fiddling with your fingers, you wanted to end the conversation as soon as politely possible.

“I swore to your Father I would protect you on our journey, I will not betray his trust,” he said. Despite his warm words and the roaring fire in front of you, you couldn’t help but shiver a little. Unsure of whether or not the shiver is from the wet clothes or him merely thinking of you as a duty.

Legolas kneels in front of you with his eyes scanning your body for any injury. Without warning, he leans forward and reaches for your chin, nudging you to look at him once again and studying every detail of your face.

“You’re soaked to the bone, you need to rest now… I will keep watch at the bar and will to ensure that no one will come close to this room. He will not come back.”

There was small silence as you quickly looked away, before he leaned back to get up.

“Stay,” you whispered.

He paused, staring at you not knowing what to say.

she fiddled with her hands, looking anywhere but him. flustered and undone, she whispered just a little louder.

“I don’t want to be alone right now.” you looked up at him with pleading eyes. “Stay. Please.”

As the light of the fire brushed the side of your face, Legolas caught a glimpse of the dark circles under your eyes attesting to the countless, sleepless nights. You don’t if it was the exhaustion or the sheer desperation that gave you the courage. But he nodded, not saying a single word.

Taking off your shoes and wet outer garments, you slowly walk to the side and crawl into the bed, burrowing yourself in the covers hoping you can disappear for a small moment from embarrassment.

After ensuring the door is locked and all is secure, Legolas slowly walked to the other side of the bed to join you.

His eyes skim the smaller figure in the bed and couldn’t help the little breath that escaped him.

Joining you in bed, he moves closer to you shifting a little closer to you. He was so close, you can feel the heat radiate off of him.

And out of sheer courage and faulty foolishness, you turn around — avoiding any speck of eye contact, you move closer to him and he gently wraps his arms around you.

As he pulls the covers over the both of them, he makes sure to tuck you in, covering every inch of you with the blanket. As you finally feel a bit more comfortable, you burrow yourself deeper into his chest and whispering a barely audible, “Thank you.”

Looking down at you, Legolas tugs you just a little bit closer, holding you a little tighter and whispers back, “Always.”

Your eyes begin to slowly flutter shut and as your breath begins to even, your soft breaths even out and you’re fast asleep.

Unconsciously, Legolas begins to caress the small sliver of skin on your shoulder as you sleep. Enamored by the reality that he’s holding you, he couldn’t help but want to soak at this moment.

His eyes graze your sleeping form, memorizing every little detail from your messy, entangled hair covering your face to the even little breaths coming from your slightly cracked lips.

it mattered not to the uncomfortable position he was resting in — with his head angled in a precarious position halfway on the headboard and his slightly numb arm wrapped around your slender waist, it only mattered that you asked him.

You asked him to stay.

Not because he asked but because you undoubtedly felt safer with him.

And that warmed his heart at the same time shattered a million times over. He wished to keep you safe and protected and loved forevermore. If only you allowed him.

But in this moment, he will take anything he can get. Legolas was thankful, and maybe a little selfish, for these smaller wants that led to this moment because wow did his heart flutter every time he looked at you.

[imaginestuffs]

𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐭 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡? | 𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐞 𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐨𝐧

you finally work up the courage to kiss Eddie for the first time and he can’t cope (even if he claims he can). 2k words. requested here

cw fem!reserved/shy!reader, first kiss, heavy kissing, mutual pining, eddie being a hot dork

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

Some people (Steve) call Eddie your loser boyfriend, while other people (the girls at work) call him the rockstar. 

You see both sides of him now. 

“Sweetheart!” he calls, the passenger seat window rolled down, his voice strong where he shouts behind the wheel. The van bumps the curve, leaving a sanguine line of rust in its wake and a creak to make everybody on the sidewalk wince. 

“Hello,” you call back. 

The van hums. You wait for him to be at a definite stop before you approach, hands on the open window, leaning up so as to see him best. It’s not just a usual date night tonight, Eddie’s taking you to Indianapolis for a rock show, and he’s dressed the part. “Woah, you look cool,” you say, bravely, wondering if that’s the right thing to say. It’s undoubtedly true —he’s slicked his curls with mousse to define them and leave them pitch black in accordance with his eyeshadow, dark and tapped into his lash line. The top he wears is incredibly tight, carving the softer lines of his abs for anyone to see, and his black jacket is ripped in places to expose the ink of his tattoos. “Are they multiplying?” 

“What?” he asks, grinning at you. “Are you getting in? It’s freezing!” 

“Your tattoos,” you explain, opening the door and popping up into the van with one shoe on the step. 

“Shit, you wanna see?” 

You’re not scared of Eddie, you just like him. He doesn’t worry you, doesn’t pressure you, nothing nefarious about him. He’s pretty, he’s considerate, and he does stuff like this, peeling out of his jacket to flex his arm at you and show you the Saran wrapping around his bicep. “Like that one?” he asks.

He has nice arms, and they’re all the better for his painful obsession. His newest one is difficult to see well under the wrapping. He notices you squinting and moves it up, tape pulling his skin. 

“Another bat?” you ask. 

“Not cool?” 

“So cool,” you disagree. This bat is unlike the others on his arm, which are small and simple in comparison. This one is heavily detailed and very dark, fangs in small triangles bared. The eyes aglow. The skin around it is red. “Did you get that today?” 

“On a whim. Still wanna date me, or is it getting to be too much?” 

You can’t answer him, and he knows that. You’re not very good at navigating intimate conversation or circumstance, though you like him, and he must know that too. Or he must really like you. Your dates have been chaste. Only last time could you work up the courage to take his hand, but when you had, he rewarded your courage with a drove of tenderness, fingers rubbing your knuckles and squeezing soft patterns for hours at the back of the movie theatre. 

The drive to Indianapolis takes near enough an hour. Eddie puts you on map duty but doesn’t use it, ignoring your offer of directions on the insistence that he knows a shortcut and then rerouting when you get too lost. He tells you there are snacks for you in the centre console and laughs, endeared, when you pop the lid and smile at it all. You talk about the show, a band you’d never heard of but had wanted to see on the grounds of sharing his interests. That’s what couples do, right? They try to do things together. You have to put yourself out of your comfort zone, and you’re happy to try if it means you can do it with him. 

“You nervous?” he asks, pulling into the parking garage outside of the venue, a towering, multi-story fiasco crammed with cars and motorbikes. 

“No,” you say, not quite mumbling as you look down at your hands. 

“Good, don’t be. I’m gonna look after you, we’re gonna have a great time. And then we can get takeout after?” You look up. He stretches his arm out to glance at his watch. “I would’ve taken you before, but good old Indianapolis keeps getting further away.” He smiles apologetically. 

You laugh without meaning to. His smile ramps up a notch. 

“I love when you laugh. You have such a cute laugh,” he says. 

“I know you’re lying,” you say, still laughing anyways. 

“I’m not lying, I love the way you laugh!” He shakes his head, curls falling away from his face as he flicks on the light on the car roof. “We have half an hour till doors open.”

“You don’t wanna line up?” 

“It’s kind of overwhelming and I figured we’d stay near the back of the crowd for your first gig here, it gets pretty rowdy.” He says ‘pretty rowdy’ like a drag, nodding gently, eyes lit with mirth. You love it when he talks like that. 

“We can go now, get further in. I can handle it.” 

“It’s not about handling it, I want you to have a good time. Plus, they could ruin your nice dress.” 

You meet his gaze all smiles like he is, but heat flickers in your chest and in your stomach, and you have to look away. It’s an impulse you’ve always given into. You’re reserved in the feelings department but trying not to be, Eddie deserves reciprocation, but it’s hard. Either way, he seems to understand this about you, and he hasn’t complained. 

Still, a bedraggled silence falls. Nearly awkward, unsure of how to tread, you sit together in your separate seats listening to cars parking and doors opening, closing on either side of you, the headlights of the cars driving past glaringly bright, white flashing over your screwed palms. 

“You okay?” he asks. 

You’re sure Eddie wants to kiss you. Three nights ago at the movies, after an hour of languid hand holding, he’d looked at your lips no less than three times as he said good night. He told you he’d had an amazing time, and that he couldn’t wait to see you again. You’d said the same in earnest, and then he’d just walked away. All those stolen glances and he hadn’t made a move. 

“Eddie… why…” You poke your tongue into your bottom lip momentarily, chewing it over. “Why haven’t we kissed yet?” 

“Um–” He lets out a nervous giggle before roughly clearing his throat. You peek at him, watching intently as he takes his hair away from his face with two hands. “I’m just waiting on you, sweetheart. No pressure.” He laughs as he talks, a picture of panic, “You’re sort of shy about that stuff, you know? I didn’t wanna surprise you.” 

“But you do want to kiss me?” you ask unsurely.

He puts his hand on your knee, the space between you suddenly smaller and warmer, the light like white glaze on his pupils, illuminating his finer details. He has a mole nestled under his eyelashes too small to see until now; it catches your attention. You stare at him too long. 

“Of course I do,” he says, eyebrows pinching together in concern. “I’ve wanted to kiss you since I met you.” 

You nod and snap your head back to your lap. Why does he have to be so nice? You wish you’d listened to Steve, even if he was joking, you shouldn’t have ever said yes to Eddie, because now you’re terrified you can’t kiss him and you’ll ruin everything…

“Hey, it’s fine. I’m not waiting for anything. You can take your time or you could never kiss me, and I won’t care. I swear. I mean, I really want you to kiss me but I’ll find a way to cope, I’m sure.” He takes his hand from your leg softly. “Do you want my jacket? It’s cold out, n’ we should probably start walking.” 

You pull your head up slowly. 

He reads your hesitant expression. “I’m in no rush,” he promises, head ever so slightly ducked to yours. 

Okay, you think. Okay, I can do this. You hold your breath and start to lean in. He falters, a millisecond of misunderstanding, before he recognises what you’re doing and smiles. He reaches for your waist with enough care to give you a chance to change your mind, and when you’re close enough to feel his breath, his lashes shutter. 

You follow suit, blind, with nothing but your intuition as you press your lips to his. 

With a feeling like the hum of the engine under your hands, you bring your fingers to his soft cheek and hold him still. He breathes in harshly, touches you far from it, his palm slipping behind your back to pull you in. You lean into it; it feels natural to give in, to turn your head one way and part your lips, to have him kiss back with heat and surprising sweetness.

You feel unlike yourself in a good way, falling back to kiss forward again, a third time, trying to chase the lulling bliss of his lips. The stomach aching want. Your hand chases across his cheek and into the curls behind his ear, needing him closer but not expecting the sound it elicits. He sighs into your lips and you flinch back, startled by the sensation. 

Eddie rubs your back with his index finger, unjudging as you drop your head to catch your breath. 

“You okay?” he asks quietly. You can hear his affection. It’s palpable. 

You nod, a dizzy weight collected in your forehead, thankful when his free hand catches your cheek and he turns your face gently to the side. “I got too hot,” you confess, only half of the truth. 

“It was pretty hot.” He smiles at you like you’re the only person in the world, like you’ve a secret only he knows. “Want me to turn on the A/C?” 

“No, I–” want to kiss you again, you think. You might even tell him so, but he starts to blow on your face, disrupting any thoughts you’d had earlier. He purses his lips and blows cold breath on your cheek, a tenderness in his gaze and the tip of his thumb where it rests just under your eye. “Oh.” 

This might be the most romantic thing anyone’s ever done for you. Your face feels precious in his careful hand, pretty under his longing look. You’re not scared when he encourages you back to his lips, your eyes quick to close, your hands across the gap of your seats to gather his shirt between tight fingers. 

His kiss is a reflection of him. Loser, rockstar, he’s eager and his hands start to betray that, his kissing melty hot and addictive as the tip of his nose presses hard to yours. You turn your face to accommodate him better and that small action drives him crazy. He’s pulling you in, smiling into your mouth, making breathy sounds that’ll stick around in your head ten times as long as the tingles filling your chest as just kisses and kisses and doesn’t stop. 

“M’sorry,” he says, pulling away, and then stealing another heavy, soft kiss like he couldn’t wait. “Sorry,” he apologises again, stroking the skin beside your eye to encourage you into opening them. “I’m not trying to get carried away. Just can’t believe you just kissed me.” 

“No, it’s okay, I– I really wanted to.” 

He kisses your cheek. You aren’t expecting it and you don’t know how to deal with it. It’s like kissing him has invigorated him, you’re a shot he knocked back, his excitement catching as he begs, “Close your eyes again, sweetheart, just one more–”

You raise your chin and he practically gasps, immediately pressing a last chaste kiss to your burning lips. 

“I’m not always like this,” he promises, leaning away, his fingertips falling from your face to trace down your neck, your shoulder. “You’re just so fucking pretty I lost my mind. I’m on best behaviour from now on, swears.” 

He raises his hand up in a scout’s honour. 

You breathe out happily. “Thank you.” 

“Oh my god. Quick, we better get out of this van before I lose my mind.” He shakes his head. “You’re insane. I have such a crush on you, holy fuck,” —he turns away from you and gets out of the van— “Jesus.” 

You pull down the sun visor to check your reflection in the mirror. You look thoroughly kissed, eyes aglow with it. 

“Fuck!” Eddie swears. You beam at yourself as he wraps on the window. “Come on, sweetheart! I have a concert to pretend to pay attention to.” 

You slink out of your seat, brave enough to try for another kiss so long as it doesn’t kill him dead right here in the parking lot. 

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

please like/reblog or comment if you enjoyed! I love knowing what you think and it means so much to me/ inspires me to write even more!!! <3 but of course I hope you enjoyed reading regardless :D 

[imaginestuffs]

If Fred Hechinger ever gets veneers I will end it

[imaginestuffs]

You think you know someone. [Fred Weasley x Reader]

Title: You think you know someone.

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Reader

Timeline: OOTP- canon and timelines altered for purposes of the story. Some bits have been exaggerated for artistic purposes. Based more on the films than the books. Reader joins DA but what if instead of Cho ratting them out, it’s you?

Summary: You had everything during your time at Hogwarts- good friends, Fred Weasley as your boyfriend and a promising future, until Dolores Umbridge turns up.

Warnings: This one turned out a little dark. Mentions of injury, torture, bullying, wounds, blood. Umbridge is a bitch. Snape is a bully. Use of unforgivable curses. Punishment. Kissing, pranks, swearing. Dumbledore’s Army and resistant forces. Brief mentions of Voldemort and probable war. Pet names: baby, sweetheart, princess. Not beta read. Happy ending I promise.

Word count: 9.3k (I feel like I’ve written a novel here)

This work is gifted to @kellyxo1 thanks to the wonderful request that I couldn’t turn down! I’m sorry it’s taken me a while to get this out but it’s been a complete labour of love and I hope you like it!💕

You knew Dolores Umbridge was trouble the moment you spotted her in the Great Hall, her gaudy pink outfit and matching pink cheeks made her stick out like a sore thumb amongst the classic, muted colour pallet you knew to be Hogwarts. Her smile unnerved you, the cold expression in her eyes never once matching the infallible twisted, sadistic smile that so often painted her face. Everything about her rang alarm bells in your mind.

Fred and George had been sitting either side of you at the banquet table in the Great Hall as she took centre stage and delivered her speech about being very good friends, as ominous and foreboding as it seemed.

"That's likely," the twins had mumbled, resting their heads on their hands, elbows on the table as a small act of rebellion against the airs and graces she clearly put on. You'd subconsciously scooted closer to Fred when she stood, reaching for his spare hand under the table that he'd offered you, sensing a little of your discomfort. Fred was always acutely aware of your emotions, able to read you like a book, you supposed it was a natural consequence of being together for so long.

You'd met on the first day of Hogwarts when you'd stepped into the train compartment he shared with George, locked eyes and the rest was history. You'd been dating since your second year, both of you unable to deny the childlike crushes and stolen glances of your attraction and as you grew up, you grew together. Now you were in your last year, with big plans ahead of Fred and George's business which you'd planned to help them with initially and bigger promises of moving in together in the flat above the shop. The natural progression of a happy relationship and an exciting prospect that kept you motivated to finish school on a high.

The atmosphere at Hogwarts was different this year: understandably tense and foreboding, not just because of Cedric's death and the rumoured return of Voldemort but of the disquiet around Harry's claims and the propagandistic reporting from the Daily Prophet refuting Harry's claims. It seemed everyone was divided into wether they believed Harry or if they believed what they were reading in the media. It was evident that the ministry had worked hard to deny and deflect Harry'a claims, disparaging and slandering him publicly. Of course the arrival of a certain Pink adorned dementor didn't help things, especially when she, as new defense against the dark arts teacher, did away with the old curriculum and removed any defensive, practical teaching in favour of simple theory- which would be of no use in real life situations, of which you were all undoubtedly facing. Then the educational decrees began where she was appointed Hogwarts' high inquisitor and sought to change anything she was as unsatisfactory, backed by the ministry, which seemed to propel the whole school further and further away from what it should be teaching and how it should be preparing it's students for what was inevitably happening.

"She can't do this! It's ridiculous, George is fuming, never mind Fred," you overheard Ginny say as you were about to take a seat for dinner but quickly stopped as you gave her a questioning look, not knowing what she meant, her eyes focusing in on your frozen form.

"What?"

"You haven't seen the new decree?" She asks curiously, placing down her fork onto the plate. You shook your head briefly before walking quickly out of the hall, dinner be damned to examine the wall of decrees, trying to fix your eyes onto the new plaque on the wall.

Educational Decree No. 30: All Weasley products will be banned immediately.

You rushed upstairs to the common room, split in two minds about wether they would be there or on the quidditch pitch, trying to expel their frustrations... until you remembered that broom flying had been outlawed unless part of a lesson or during Quidditch games, as few and far between as they were coming due to the constant cancelling.

When you found them in their dorm, George was pacing the room, kicking the wooden frame of his bed after every circuit whilst Fred sat perched on his own bed, face downcast and eyes filled with anger.

You knew it wouldn't stop them, nothing ever did, but the business they forged from nothing had suffered for a while as students were afraid of the repercussions of being searched and found with their products.

"Can't sell my products, can't fly a broom, can't even kiss my own girlfriend unless I find a way to snog her from six inches away!" Fred had been furious and rightly so but there seemed to be no hope in sight.

It seemed no one was unaffected by the drastic measures Umbridge was taking and you were all facing the consequences of the increasing restrictions, in multiple ways. You'd been given detention for the stupidest things, including casting a spell to undo the jinx Malfoy had placed on Neville one afternoon, another leg lock jinx that you'd fixed for him, received another for the muggle book in your possessions and another for deigning to be within six inches of George. The punishment was cruel and twisted but you'd hidden it from Fred, knowing how protective he was and how he'd act out to retaliate against her which would only land him in worse trouble. She seemed to focus on you in particular, for whatever reason you weren't sure but she hardly hid her distaste for you publicly. Fred said it was because of your connection to him and George but you weren't sure, it seemed more personal than that.

It had been Hermione's brilliant idea to forge a sort of rebellion in order to actually learn the practical side of defence and you'd been eager to sign up after attending the first meeting at the Hog's Head in Hogsmeade, knowing that you had to arm yourself in whatever way you could, the feeling of unease at the current climate always looming overhead. You'd been pleasantly surprised by the turn out, seeing many familiar faces as you'd walked hand in hand with Fred into the small, freezing cold room as you waited for Harry, Ron and Hermione. Cho, Luna, Neville, Ginny, Michael and so many others from Gryffindor, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff had turned out to fight for the cause and as you looked around the room of friends and familiars, it was evident that this could work.

You'd signed the parchment Hermione had brought with no hesitation, lining up between Fred and Ginny, clearly marking your name under his in the pencil provided. As you walked back to the castle in a group, Fred's arm around you and his hat in your head to keep the cold away from your ears, you felt determined and inspired to make this work. You'd just need to find somewhere to practice away from the prying eyes of the inquisitor.

Then came Educational Decree No.68: All student organisations are henceforth be disbanded. Any student in noncompliance will be expelled.

This time, you weren't angered or afraid of the newly instated restriction but instead felt empowered to rebel. Neville, in a feat of brilliance, had discovered the room of requirement one Saturday afternoon as he made his way down the seventh floor corridor. It was perfect, exactly what was needed, and you'd all wasted no time in putting the room to good use.

Within just two weeks, you'd mastered disarming spells, stunning spells, hexes, jinxes and defensive charms that you'd never thought you could do. Ginny had proven herself to be incredibly skilled and you'd stood watching in amazement as two magpies flying around the room, both coming from your boyfriend and his twin. The twins had taken to placing bets, mostly against Ron, all of you in good spirits about finally being able to do magic again. You and Fred took full advantage of being shielded away from the eyes of Hogwarts and had taken to lingering in the room after the sessions so you could be close to each other, to kiss freely and be intimate again. It had seemed so long, so cruel to have to keep away from him, at least in public and as you watched him master spells so effortlessly and looking so deliciously hot as he did it, often with messy hair and rolled up sleeves, it was exactly what you needed to relieve yourself of the building frustrations.

Fun and laughter had once again returned to Hogwarts, though shielded from the regulating eyes, it was just like before. The twins had even taken to pranking again, no longer concerned by the changes, including giving Filch laced chocolates which made him erupt with giant, puss-filled boils on his face when he got too close to the scent of your secret gatherings.

Educational decree No. 82: All students will submit to questioning about suspected illicit activities.

Umbridge had began to gather students for an inquisitorial squad which would earn them credit for joining, most notably the Slytherin students that weaselled their way into Umbridge's good books. Most probably by being pure bloods. They took great pleasure in pulling up the younger students in particular for punishment or questioning and abused their powers frequently.

Then you returned to school after winter break and the news of the Azkaban breakout happened, constant storms were forecasted, Umbridge's cruel regime heightened. Everything felt so restrictive, so unnecessary, so twisted. The only place you found solace was during DA meetings when you could be yourself, free to act and perform as you wanted surrounded by your friends and boyfriend. Always alert at the imposing threat, knowing Filch was on to you all and the rest of the inquisitorial squad which only fuelled you to keep discreet.

It had been a regular day of classes until your DADA lesson where you'd been required by the toad to write an essay on the benefits of conversational reasoning as opposed to practical magic to handle disputes with half breeds and lower class species, such as centaurs. You'd almost immediately refused to write such things, particularly due to the disgusting terms used to class different species but also due to the ridiculous concept.

"I am teaching you verified way of effective communication, in which you do not have to use your wand," she defends with a sickeningly fake smirk.

"Or our brains by taking away our autonomy," you'd argued, not even under your breath.

"Are you questioning my methods of teaching miss y/l/n? By all means if you think you can do better I should like to see you try."

"Can't be hard, Professor Quirrel did a better job and he shared a head and a singular brain cell with Voldemort."

A murmur of concealed laughter burst from the students around you and for a singular moment you felt the victory of it, empowered even.

"Detention!" She's utterly outraged, her face turning a dangerous shade of fuchsia. You could feel the eyes on you, most notably your boyfriend and his twin from across the room but you didn't care. Since returning to school you'd been torn away from Fred, unable to be anywhere near each other and certainly not in a group with your friends as it would break at least three decrees. You were frustrated and had hit breaking point, anger simmering in you but why you didn't know. You'd completely had enough.

"It's a date Dolores," you said sarcastically with the sickliest smile you could muster. More snickers erupted around you and even a clap that sounded suspiciously like it came from the direction of your future brother in law.

"My office, now!" She screams, pointing with her pink tipped finger towards the door. You grabbed your stuff from the desk and walked out without a single look in anyone's direction. On your way to her office, you pulled the special coin from your pocket and checked over the date and time to check you had it right. There was a DA meeting later that evening and you'd hoped this would be over quickly so that you could still attend.

Only, that never happened. Instead you'd been tortured for hours in the cruelest of ways, repeatedly questioned over your involvement with the alleged group and had been forced to drink truth serum until the words had slipped out of your mouth. You'd had no control over it, no way of resisting any longer and with great shame, you'd told her about the room of requirement, completely unable to stop the words from coming out.

The inquisitorial squad was on you in mere moments, as soon as Umbridge had signalled them from outside the door and Malfoy's grubby hands were pulling your weak and exhausted body from the chair before you could even register the intrusion. The things you'd been through, the pain and the anguish, it was nothing compared to the fear you felt at the DA being discovered; you could only pray that you'd held out long enough so that the meeting was over.

"Where is it?!" Umbridge screamed into your face when you wouldn't disclose the exact location of the room of requirement, having already inadvertently let slip that the room was your meeting place. You gave her your darkest look, no longer feeling controlled by whatever she had obviously put in your tea. When she didn't get an answer, her hand struck you hard right across the cheek but you hardly flinched, hardly feeling the pain anymore.

"I know the way Ma'am," Filch said, his saggy face appearing around the corner creepily, his features twisting into a vulgar, perverse smile. You could hardly look at Umbridge's face as it twisted into a pleased, twisted grin as she fixed her jacket and allowed Filch to lead her. Malfoy grabbed hold of your robes tighter in his fist and you were dragged along with them until you reached the seventh floor.

You felt sick to your stomach, wanting to scream and cry, resist in anyway you could as you fought against Malfoy's hold but you were physically tired and weak. Crabbe had grabbed hold of the other side of you, your thrashing too much for Malfoy to hold down by himself and his hands were much tougher against your skin, no doubt leaving bruises in their wake. When the door to the room of requirement didn't appear, you felt hopeful that she'd realise you were lying, even if that meant horrendous consequences for you. There was no way of warning them, nothing you could do to allow them to flee, you'd have to watch as they were all caught redhanded. They'd think you ratted them out, your friends, the love of your life. You knew it was exactly what Umbridge wanted, to turn everyone against you- and she was undoubtedly going to get it.

"Bombarda Maxima," her eerily calm and squeaky voice rang out as she pointed her want at the wall. Your scream mixed in with the large bang as a giant hole was created in the wall, depris and dust flying everywhere.

When the dust cloud cleared, you were dragged off from the side viciously by Malfoy and Crabbe until you were presented in front of the Army- your friends. You didn't want to look up from your spot on the floor, still fighting against their holds on you but something made you look up. And then you met his eyes.

Fred had never looked at you that way, ever. The looks of love and adoration you'd become accustomed to over the years, the playfulness and the intimate looks, it was all gone. The look in his eyes would haunt you forever, the coldness, betrayal and the resentment and it was explicitly clear what his expression told you.

He believed that you ratted them out, believed that you could ever do that to him, to them all.

You had to look away, desperate to see any hope that someone believed you, that someone sympathised with the torment you'd endured but as your eyes travelled across to George, you stopped short. He looked furious with you, disgusted and despite everything you'd been through in the past few hours, you'd receive no sympathy or chance to explain yourself to the people you loved.

You were dragged away as Umbridge dealt with the Army, bestowing threats and punishments upon them that you couldn't hear. You no longer fought against the holds of the Slytherins but instead went willingly, feeling guilty, shame and simply dirty for your role in all of this, even if it wasn't your fault.

Members of the ministry arrived not too long after, having been alerted prior to the discovery of the DA. You couldn't look at Kingsley, much too distraught to see his look of disgust at you, no doubt planning to tell the Order what you'd done. Harry was ushered in not long after having been caught in the skirmish. His newfound hatred of you seemed to radiate off him as he stood beside you and this alone made you want to scream and cry out of frustration, tears welling in your eyes that you wouldn't allow to spill.

The final straw was when Percy walked in, without so much as a glimmer of recognition towards you and took over from Malfoy to restrain you and Harry, keeping the shoulder of your robe balled up in his hand. The minister ordered him to dispatch an owl to the Daily Prophet and he diligently nodded, trying to manoeuvre you along with him.

"Get off me Weatherby," you demanded viciously, fighting against his hold and managing to break free, only to be stopped as you all looked on in amazement as Dumbledore disappeared out of sight in a magnificent display.

You'd hoped after that, you'd be able to get Harry alone, to explain yourself to him, to tell him what had happened but he'd completely avoided you, blanked you entirely. You hardly blamed him but you needed to explain, to clear your name. Umbridge then commanded Harry to join her in the hall where the punishment was being conducted, all of the DA together.

You'd been permitted to return to your dorm after the meeting had finished but you stood outside of the hall doors, desperate to see Fred and explain yourself, hoping he could bring you at least an ounce of comfort. Your head was pounding from the pain earlier and the marks on your arms were throbbing, sore and weeping though you fought not to look at them, knowing the pain would only be worse when you saw what was tormenting you. You couldn't go to Madame pomfrey, Umbridge had made that very clear and so you suffered in complete silence until you could reach out for your friends.

You lingered outside of the door for what felt like hours, the anxiety and the nerves you felt seemingly freezing time. When the doors opened, the members of the DA began pouring out with soured looks on their faces which only heightened when they caught sight of you. It was never hard to spot Fred and George amongst a crowd, their towering height easily distinguishable amongst a sea of people.

The look on everyone's face was near identical, the disgust and the resentment evident in their eyes as they spotted you but none clearer than the twins. George looked like he detested you, his face scrunched into a look of utter distaste, eyes glaring into you as he walked past without a care. Fred looked away, ignoring your presence completely as he glided past you without muttering a single word, his face stone cold and void of expression.

"Freddie, please," you said weakly and emotionally, with tears in your eyes, turning around in the spot as he walked past you. But nothing, he didn't turn, didn't react, simply walked away without so much as a single glance.

"Harry," you implored, taking a step towards him but he too blanked you again, pushing past you and walking quickly up the steps to avoid you.

You stood alone in the cold and empty corridor, feeling more isolated and alone than you ever had and finally allowed yourself to cry. Silent tears fell down your cheeks, shoulders sagging as you cried for everything you had undoubtedly lost, for the treatment you'd received and for the pain you still felt in your head and arms. Finding a spot in a hidden corner, you finally allowed yourself to pull up the sleeve of your robe and look upon the damage that Umbridge had inflicted with her sadistic quill. It was horrendous, an onslaught of slurs and vicious words etched into your body, no doubt intentionally done to leave the scars as a permanent reminder.

You sobbed your heart out in that little nook between two cold, stone pillars as you tried desperately to heal the marks but no spell was strong enough even to numb it in your weakened state.

You eventually made your way to Gryffindor tower, stepping through the portrait and finding the common room practically deserted. You sighed and walked up the stone steps to your dorm, only to find that the door had been shut and your blanket and pillow had been thrown outside of it, a clear sign you were not welcome even within your own dorm. You were painfully exhausted and wanted nothing more than to curl up in your bed and cry into your pillow until you eventually passed out. But you didn't even deserve that.

With a heavy sigh, you collected your blanket and pillow and trudged down the steps back towards the common room, eyes blurry through a mixture of tiredness and tears. You stopped short the second you crossed the last step, seeing Fred and George step in through the portrait hole, your stomach flipping nervously as you anticipated a barrage of insults or horrible pranks, their allegiance turning from you now.

"Fred, Freddie please," you begged, dropping your makeshift bedding to walk towards him, trying to reach out for him. You paused as you saw the redness on the back of his left hand, a clearly fresh punishment, 'I must not break rules'. George intercepts immediately and barges past you, blocking you from getting to Fred as he turns his twin away from you.

"You think you know someone," George mutters as he gently nudges Fred up the stairs, sending you a vicious glare before he walks up after him, once again leaving you alone. Fred didn't even spare a single glance at you, not even to recoil away.

You curled up in a corner armchair as soon as the tears appeared, pathetically dragging the blanket over you and cried until you fell asleep in the uncomfortable chair.

The two weeks that followed were the absolute worst weeks of your life. Umbridge had stripped you of everything you loved in one fell swoop, turned everyone against you and left the place you called home feeling miserable and lonely. You deserved it, you knew that, having ratted them out. You'd antagonised her and now had to live through then consequences, as cruel and twisted as they were.

The glares from everyone you had once called friends hadn't stopped, especially from George, which hurt the most. Fred had outright ignored any effort you'd made to reach out to him, no matter how desperate you'd sounded or how hard you'd tried to make him understand. He didn't care. He believed the lie.

The first week you'd tried to take your meals with the rest of the Gryffindors but it was made abundantly clear to you that you were not permitted nor welcome to join your friends and had been cruelly banished to the end of the table, beside the first years. The second week you'd stopped attending meals at all, not able to push through the shame and embarrassment of being cast away, exiled from your group. Lessons were monotonous and any down time was utterly excruciating as you were left enclosed with the other Gryffindors, namely your ex boyfriend, though no one would make any contact with you. You'd tried to sleep in your dorm but the girls had done nearly everything to prevent you from actually sleeping, talking loudly, setting off whizzbangs inside your curtains and had even transfigured your blanket a few times to varying degrees of horrid things. At the end of the night when you were certain everyone was asleep, usually very late, you'd creep down to the common room and huddle into your uncomfortable chair to sleep, only to be woken mere hours later when the first of the easy risers woke up. Your life was hell.

"There's just something I don't understand," Hermione says as they all stand on the bridge, the golden trio, Ginny and the Twins, all wrapped up in warm clothes and sweaters as they discuss the changes put into place since Umbridge had taken over as Headmistress. Naturally, the conversation had diverted to you, something Fred was entirely displeased about. The group turn to Hermione after her words, intrigued by the change in tone. She took a deep breath, closing her eyes before opening them again, as if building the strength to say her next sentence.

"I jinxed the enrolment parchment, for Dumbledore's Army," she admits, not quite meeting the gaze of the group around her. "It was purely a preventative measure, incase we were betrayed by one of our own. The person who disclosed any secrets would be jinxed to break out in spots, to spell out 'sneak' across their forehead, so we knew who the betrayer was. Y/N didn't have that, she never even had a single spot."

"Blimey Hermione," Ron says a little breathlessly, disbelieving she'd have actually gone that far.

"I know," she says a little defensively, "I just can't work out how she got around it!"

"Maybe she wrote her name wrong? Did she know about the jinx?" Harry suggests but Hermione shook her head, at the very same time that Ginny replied.

"I was behind her, I saw her write her name. It was right."

"Maybe the jinx didn't work?" Harry suggests carefully but stops himself when he receives a forceful glare from Hermione at the very notion of her failure.

"What does it matter? She dobbed us in wether or not she's covered in spots!" Ron says rather harshly, leaning against the wooden bannister.

Fred can't listen anymore, completely overwhelmed by the conversation and the thought of you betraying them. He turns and walks off back towards the castle without so much as a word to the others, not even his twin, and ignores their calls of his name as they watch him fade into the distance.

Spotting you sitting alone in the corner of the room when he returns to the common room, he frowns to himself. He'd known you since the moment you stepped on the Hogwarts express and had loved you for nearly just as long. It was wrong to see you sat alone, so sad and without the usual spark you naturally emitted. Everyone had always been drawn to you, your humour and wit, your dazzling smile, the fact you made everyone aroun you feel comfortable and valued. Too many boys had been drawn to you for his liking but you'd never even given them the time of day, never once wavering in your loyalty to him or ever made him doubt that it was him you wanted. You'd spent years supporting him, helping him and George develop their products, cheering for him loudly at every Quidditch game and had wormed your way into the hearts of every single one of his family members. Secretly, it crushed him to see you so lonely and tired, even if he still felt the sting of your betrayal.

It didn't add up, though he wouldn't disclose this to any of the more angered members of the group, why you would do such a thing. You'd been excited to start the DA, had joined in enthusiastically, kept the secret for so long and most of all you completely despised Umbridge. He couldn't deny that he still loved you, even though he was conflicted with his feelings now, he still held out hope that this would all go away, that there was a reasonable explanation but his anger wouldn't allow him to listen. It killed him to push you away, wanting nothing more than for things to return to normal but he felt a deep sense of betrayal that he couldn't shift.

"Fred?" He heard from behind him, pulling him out of his musings making him realise that he'd been staring at you all this time as he turned towards the person addressing him. Her name was Emery Atkinson, a Gryffindor from the year below that he'd never really acknowledged or spent much time with.

"Yeah?" He replies politely though he couldn't escape the edge of irritation after being pulled away from his thoughts. He watches as the girl giggles as soon as he acknowledges her and tucks a strand of blonde hair behind her ear.

"Oh good I got the right twin!" She giggles, ignorant to the blank look she received from Fred. "I was wondering if you had some canary creams I could buy? My brother loves them and it's his birthday soon. Your inventions are so clever, I don't know how you and George find the time between your studies and Quidditch, it must be exhausting. You're so good as Quidditch, I always cheer you on. Plus your girlfriend, but I heard that you weren't together anymore right?"

Truthfully, Fred had only registered the first half of her speech, tuning out after Canary Creams but his attention had been drawn back at the mention of you. He can't help but feel that little stab of sadness at the mention of you, especially someone referring to you as his girlfriend, or Ex rather. In the back of his mind he wonders if you heard that, from your short distance away, he hoped not.

"I still can't believe it, why would she do that? If I was with you I wouldn't even dream of ruining it." She sounds faux-scandalised and quite frankly, rather bitchy as he reaches out to touch the sleeve of his sweater. Fred doesn't humour her and instead takes half a step back subtly, reaching to scratch the back of his head as a discreet way of getting her off.

"Er, yeah I think we have some creams leftover, I'll send George over with some later, alright?"

"Not you?" She says with a sad little face, trying out her best puppy dog eyes that have absolutely no affect on him.

"George deals with the confectionery," he says a little too quickly; which is a complete lie. "Sorry, I've got somewhere to be but I'll let him know you're interested in buying."

He breaks away, giving her a forced but polite smile and a brief, parting wave but it's awkward and he's inwardly cringing as soon as he puts his hand down. Turning to where you had been sat in the chair, he notices you've disappeared and he is instantly overcome with a wave of guilt. You'd heard it all.

—

The next few days passed in blur for Fred, his mind wandering between what he was doing and thoughts of you, like he couldn't concentrate for more than a minute. He felt so conflicted within himself, made worse by the time spent apart from you, the longing beginning to set in. He'd never really been apart from you for very long, at most only a few weeks during the summer holidays and even then you'd have sent numerous letters by now, keeping in contact as much as you could until you were back beside each other. Now it was just torture, having you so close but so far away and the knowledge that he was the one that had pushed you away only furthered his guilt and internal conflict.

Fred was in a terrible mood, battling his thoughts, surviving on very little sleep and now the threat of her sadistic punishment was the icing on the cake of a really crap day when he and George had been forced to Umbridge's office. Harry had been caught trying to use the floo, to alert the order or escape and had been caught red handed by Umbridge. Each member of the DA had been frogmarched into the office, shoved and restrained by members of the inquisitorial squad and each member looked as uneasy as the next. His stomach turned when he saw Ginny held down by Goyle and he fought to get out of Graham Montegue's hold but it was useless when Umbridge mindlessly cast a spell to subdue him.

Harry was sat in the chair in the centre of the room, the first to be questioned with Umbridge hovering dangerously close to him, her temper boiling over as she speaks frantically in his face.

"You were going to Dumbledore weren't you?" She says, leaning down threateningly in front of Harry.

"No," Harry responds.

"Liar!" She screams back and in a move that shocks each member of the DA, she pulls back her hand and slaps Harry hard around the face, the harsh sound echoing through the otherwise silent room.

She pauses for a moment, simply glaring at Harry until her face twists into a sick, twisted grin as she straightens up and composes herself, each movement carefully thought out as she turns her back to him.

"Very well, you give me no choice Potter," she says with an even cadence, her tone dangerously low. "As this is an issue of Ministry security, you leave me with... no alternative, unless Professor Snape arrives within moments."

Fred feels like he can hardly breathe, the tension and unease in the air so thick that the room feels like it's getting smaller by the second. The unpredictability of the woman before them was alarming, the dangerous undertone of her voice despite her light and breezy tone was almost scarier than his worst nightmare.

"The cruciatus curse ought to loosen your tongue," she says, adjusting her pink jacket.

"That's illegal," Hermione states in outrage but Umbridge hardly flinches. Instead, she reaches out for the photo frame of the minister on her desk and pauses briefly to look at it before turning it over and lying it down flat on the desk, so that Fudge could not see her next move. She straightens herself and extends her wand, only to stop when Snape appears by the door, his eyes fixed to her outstretched wand that was pointed directly at Harry.

"You sent for me Headmistress?"

"Snape, yes," she says, taking a step back and everyone in the room exhales, relaxing only slightly. "The time has come for answers, wether he wants to give them to me or not," she says, her eyes flicking to Harry only briefly.

"Might I suggest against the cruciatus curse this time headmistress," he says evenly and carefully, "the consequences of such an audience might be... disagreeable. In fact I would hesitate in conducting any of the prior disciplinary methods in this instance.""

This time? She'd used the cruciatus curse before? And on a student? Prior disciplinary methods? Fred thinks, did he mean the quill?

"Very well," she says after a moment of pondering, her arm falling to her side as she relents, eyes wandering over the all too familiar Quill that sits proudly on her desk before her gaze shifts back to Snape. "Have you brought the veritaserum?"

"I'm afraid you've used up all my stores, the last of it interrogating Miss y/l/n."

Snape carries on speaking but Fred doesn't hear a single word, blood rushing to his ears as his heart pounds. He feels like he's received a stray bludger straight to the chest, his stomach dropping with fresh shame, sadness and overwhelming guilt.

Suddenly it all made sense. She'd tortured you into giving out the information- the cruciatus curse, veritaserum, what else had she done to you?

He couldn't help but let out a dry sob at the information, sensing everyone's eyes on him at the news. He struggled against the holds with everything in him, needing to fix what he'd broken.

He'd believed them, so quickly, believed that you could have betrayed them like that. The pain you must have felt, the loneliness and the guilt and then after your whole ordeal he had cast you aside, pushed you away and never given you a single chance to explain.

He eventually turned to look at George who looked utterly broken by the news, his regretful inner thoughts so evident upon his face. Each member of the DA looked a mixture of guilty, sheepish and sad, realising how wrong they'd been about you and what they'd done to someone who had once been their friend, someone who had suffered so much for all of them.

The meeting seemed to go abhorrently slowly until Umbridge left with Harry and Hermione on a sort of mission based upon a quickly constructed lie and Fred didn't waste a single moment before turning around on the spot and punching Graham Montegue straight in the face as soon as Umbridge had left. Seizing the momentary upper hand, the remaining members of the DA turned on the inquisitorial squad and fired an array of jinxes and spells at them in order to get away.

"Fred, Go!" George had urged whilst stunning Crabbe, allowing Ginny to step free. Malfoy fought back but he was quickly matched by Angelina who covered for Fred, blocking the exit.

"Go, she needs you!" Angelina shouted as she sent a jinx flying towards Cassius Warrington's smug face.

Fred didn't hang about and immediately ran out of the office and towards the common room where he was praying you'd be. It was quiet on the main staircases, perhaps it seemed much quieter because of the lack of portraits and bare walls but even to the few people Fred passed, he offered no explanation nor cared about what they thought. He needed to find you.

"Y/n!" He said bursting through the portrait hole and scanning the common room for you, checking the chair you'd so often occupied but found nothing except a couple of bewildered faces at his strange outburst.

"Y/n?" He called again, walking up the stairs towards the dormitories but received no reply. In his haste, he accidentally misstepped as he climbed up to the girls dorm and nearly triggered the blocking slide to appease but fortunately managed to regain his balance and stress carefully over the path he'd taken so many times before, the secret message in the steps that allowed him to breach the rules.

He threw open your dormitory door and stopped blankly when he found nothing. Your bed looked like it hadn't been slept in, there was hardly any of your things around the bed and the room. Had he come to the wrong room?

"Fred?" Your voice said shyly from behind him and he whipped around to see you looking up at him hesitantly from near the door, holding a few things in your arms and your robe tied tightly around your chest.

"Y/n," he says with a sigh of relief, moving forwards quickly to reach out to you but once again stopping short as he noticed you visibly flinch at his sudden movement. Suddenly the overwhelming agony of guilt and regret hit him anew and he vowed to slow down, hoping not to scare you away.

"I'm so sorry," he said, voice breaking slightly as he looked at your tired, sullen face and those wide, scared eyes. He'd never seen you look so broken and it killed him.

"I didn't, I don't ," he stutters, dropping to sit on the side of your bed. "You haven't been sleeping here have you?"

There's a minor pause and he wonders if you're actually going to reply to him, if he even deserves it, until you step forward and place your things down onto the bedside table. He watches in silence, noting the large book and a few packaged bandages that slip onto the table as you gingerly take a seat beside him, your feet no longer touching the floor.

"Kind of hard to when you're banished by the rest of your dorm," you reply quietly. He can't detect the tone of your voice, expecting it to be sarcastic or unhappy but it actually sounds flat and completely void of emotion.

"The chair," he realises, "you've been sleeping in that chair?" He's slightly bewildered and profoundly ashamed now, not having clicked until now that you'd been there early in a morning and late in the night, much later than you'd ever typically stayed up before. You shrug and turn your attention away, though you're yet to actually meet his eyes.

He drags a deep breath in through his teeth, resisting the urge to hang his head low on his shoulders.

"Y/n, I am so sorry, I, I don't even have words," he says, stumbling over his words- something so uncharacteristic for him that it briefly startles you. "You didn't deserve this, even if you had told Umbridge about us, no one deserves this. We were all so shocked that it could be you, of all people. We never stopped to think of why," he pauses again, steadying himself. "Snape admitted what she did to you, she tried to use it on Harry but he stopped him."

"But the quill was broken? How could she use it on Harry?" You say, finally looking up with a look of complete confusion.

"What quill?" Fred asks, completely lost himself, "the black quills? I meant the cruciatus curse, she, I mean she, on you, didn't she?"

Your silence says everything and he has to close his eyes and steady his breathing at your silent confirmation.

"What quill?" Fred feels a little bolder now and reaches for you but you pull your arm back and place it in your lap, trying not to wince as you catch the healing scars. "This one?"

He holds out his hand and shows you the faint markings from his punishment, 'I must not break rules' barely visible now. He frowns when you shake your head but don't offer any other explanation. He's frustrated that he's not getting anywhere but it's internal and he knows it's not your fault, he just wishes he could help, or go back in time and fix everything.

"Tell me, please," he says, keeping his eyes locked in the side of your face, trying to urge you to look at him. "What happened in that detention?"

"It doesn't matter," you say quickly, hopping down off the bed and stepping over to your trunk to get a fresh shirt from the laundry pile, knowing it would need changing. "I've got to shower."

You go to turn away but Fred lunges for you and grabs your arm to stop you from leaving, making you cry out in pain as soon as his fingers make contact with the tender skin. As soon as the shock wears off, he frowns, looking down at your arm before looking up to your face, seeing tears falling down your cheeks.

"Please baby, please just tell me," he says, voice breaking as his own tears well up in his eyes.

"She told you about the veritaserum?" You ask, assuming anyway and Fred nods. "Then you know what you need to know."

"No, I don't," he says quickly, trying to think of ways to stop you leaving without hurting you. "She used an unforgivable curse on you! Gave you truth serum, you cried when I touched your arm and you have bandages on your bedside table, please just tell me what happened!"

"Fine," you say, pulling your arm back. "You want to know? She tried to force it out of me, tried to get me to drink the stupid tea but I wouldn't. When that didn't work she pulled out that little stupid quill and wrote anything she wanted all over me. You wanted to know about the bandages? Fine," you said viciously, clawing at the fastening of your robe. Underneath was your once crisp, white shirt that had a considerable amount of red blood staining the sleeve. You didn't stop undressing, all but ripping the buttons away as you fought to show Fred what was underneath.

Bandages littered your forearms, with blood oozing out the sides. Fred's frozen as he looks at the bandages on your body, sick to his stomach already.

"Did you know Snape is a skilled occlumens? I didn't, I do now. So after she was playing with that sadistic little quill, writing whatever she wanted into my skin, he enters my mind and shows me every single fear I've ever had, every nightmare. But I didn't say a word, not a single fucking word. Do you know what it's like to have visions forced into your own mind of your boyfriend dying in front of you repeatedly, over and over until you start to go mad? All whilst your skin is slashed open just to get you to talk? Only it didn't work, so she dropped the quill and picked up her wand. I've never felt closer to death in my life but still so far away from it. But I wouldn't talk. So she forced veritaserum in my mouth and I couldn't stop it, she got what she wanted no matter what I'd fought for. And the best part? They don't heal, not truly. Nothing I do stops it, like a constant reminder of what happened."

"Princess," Fred chokes out, tears streaming down his cheeks, fighting to hold back his sobs at your words.

"No, not princess," you say sternly, emotions all falling from your face. "Not anymore."

"Please, I want to make this right, anything I can do, I want to support you," he says, nearly begging. "I have to make this right, I can't lose you."

"No."

Your voice is harsh and stern, your face expressionless again. "You believed them so easily, you all did. You believed I could do that to you, without hesitation. You didn't let me explain, never even looked at me because you were so certain that I could have done it. I've been exiled, banished and forgotten by all of you I called friends without a single thought. So you and your stupid brother and the rest of Dumbledore's friggin army can go fuck yourselves, it's not my fight anymore."

Fred flinches as the door slams shut behind you and he's left to sob openly, his devastation consuming him. Eventually when he returns to his own dorm, George says nothing upon seeing his twin's stricken face and his curtains fully closing around the bed.

The next morning, Fred has already left the dorm by the time George wakes up and doesn't see him at all around the common room or the hall, though he's not surprised. But when he doesn't show to his lessons, George worries and goes in search for his twin with increasing worry. Eventually, he finds him in the library, pouring over an array of books from the restricted section, most of them about healing spells and anatomy.

"Freddie?"

When Fred looks up with red rimmed eyes and an intense look in his eyes, it's clear to George that Fred hadn't slept. "Whatever it is, let me help."

One week. It took one week of endlessly pouring over book after book until they finally found options.

It's early morning on a Saturday when Fred creeps down to the common room was before the sun has risen, seeing you hunched over in your chair. Angelina had told him that they'd apologised profusely to you and had accepted you back with open arms back to the dormitory but you'd simply walked away and carried on sleeping by the fire, not yet willing to forgive them for the treatment you'd endured.

"Y/n, y/n, wake up," he says quietly, carefully touching your shoulder, trying to avoid anywhere that he had seen bandaged.

"Freddie?" You ask sleepily and his heart soars with hope at the noise, the familiarity of it abs the softness of your voice so heartwarming.

"I have something to show you, me and George," he says lightly, waiting for you to wake up.

"Told you both to get fucked," you mumble, squashing any hope he had, but he perseveres.

"Just this once prince-y/n, please," he says quietly. You open your eyes, seeing him still dressed in his pyjamas, pleading with his eyes and looking so vulnerable that you relent and agree to whatever he had planned. Throwing back the blanket, you surprise a groan at the stiffness in your neck and diligently follow him back up the stairs towards his dorm, accepting his hand as he guides you. Your hand fits perfectly into his, just as it always had.

"Where's Lee?" You say as you walk into the dorm room, seeing only George who gives you a small but timid smile.

"Bunking with Ron," Fred says somewhat vaguely, gesturing for you to sit on his bed. The room looks exactly as you remember albeit slightly less dishevelled than you'd experienced previously, but you don't mention anything. Fred takes a seat beside you and George moves forward, grabbing a book from the chair beside his bed.

"We don't know if this will work," George says.

"But it's better than nothing," Fred finishes, gingerly reaching out for your hand.

"What?"

"The wounds," George says gently, "Fred told me, we just want to make them better. Might not get rid of them completely but it's worth a shot."

"Found this in an old healing book, it's a counter curse for wound healing by curse," Fred says, taking the book from George to show you. "Figured Umbridge's quill must have been cursed so this might work. Please let us help."

All it takes is a nod from you, albeit slightly hesitant but truthfully there was no one you trusted more than the twins, before at least.

You could hardly look them in the eyes as you pulled away the bandages, the vile words etched into your skin by her personal sadistic quill. You heard George inhale at the deepest cut along your inner right forearm but didn't react, knowing it would be shocking to anyone.

"Take my hand, if it hurts too much all you have to do is squeeze and we'll stop, okay baby?"

Biting down on your lip to stifle your cries, you hold Fred's hand tightly as George begins to cast the counter-curse, each of you watching on with rapt attention and slight amazement as the cuts begin to slowly knit together. It was working.

You whimper as he works over the deepest, the same one Fred had accidentally caught the week before and Fred's hand squeezes yours automatically for support.

"You're doing so well sweetheart, it'll be over soon I promise," he says quietly in your ear, comforting you in anyway he could.

After the last cut is sealed, George immediately drops down to sit onto his bed, his concentration and energy depleted from focusing so hard. You can't believe it as you look down at your arms, no longer seeing blood and only able to see the faintest of marks and redness where the wounds had once been. Only then do tears begin to fall from your eyes as you launch yourself towards Fred, throwing your arms around him in appreciation. He steadies himself after a moment of being caught off guard and holds you tightly against him, shushing you gently as you cry. His arms wrap around you so perfectly, so protectively and his smell comforts you like to no other, exactly as you remember.

"You did so well, so well, it's okay baby," he coos into your ear. You pull apart slowly and immediately walk over to George, pulling him into a hug though it's a lot less intimate.

"Thank you both so much," you sniffle.

"You're welcome," they answer at the same time, making you smile.

"We've missed you," George says after a moment. "I'm so sorry for what you went through and for what I said. I should have known it wasn't your fault, you've been my best friend for so long and I'm so ashamed of myself for how easily I believed her over you, that should never have happened."

"And you know how sorry I am," Fred says, walking over to you and kneeling down until he's directly in front of you.

"You're the best thing that has ever happened to me and I was an idiot for ever thinking it was you. I know things can't ever go back to how they were before, but I love you so much that I can't lose you. Seeing you hurting almost broke me and I know that you might need time or never see me again but you need to know exactly how I still feel about you."

"It's not just you," you say in reply, heaving out a long breathe, "I pushed people away."

"We deserved it," George says.

"Baby," Fred says gently, getting your attention. "I don't know how to fix this or how to make things better, but I'll do anything. I was an idiot, a complete git but I'll spent the rest of my life trying to make it up to you. Please say this isn't ruined."

For the first time since the incident, you allow yourself to feel hopeful that things could get better, that Fred could love you again. Sat surrounded by the two people you loved most in the world, you finally felt the love and protection you'd been needing since that awful night.

"I want that," you say quietly, picking at the blanket under your fingers, "I just want things to just go back to normal." You raise your eyes up to Fred's to see him smiling back at you, clearly pleased with your words.

"Well, let's start with this then," he says with a mischievous smirk, leaning towards you painfully slowly as if he's giving you plenty of time to say no or push him away. His soft lips press against yours gently and you can't help but feel a warmth spread all over your body, almost like you were defrosting and returning back to you're usual self. His hand reaches up to cup the side of your jaw and you're certain you can feel a fear hit your cheek, though it doesn't come from you.

The next morning, you walk hand in hand with Fred into the great hall for breakfast and sit right back at the centre of the table with your friends. You assume Fred or George had threatened them not to say anything as everyone around you acts normal, pretending the previous weeks didn't exist, though one by one they all apologised to you, most notably Ron and Harry. Ginny thought you were badass for everything you'd been through, not relenting even though you'd been tortured into eventually revealing the secret. Hermione had apologised so eloquently and thoroughly that you both ended up crying in the common room as she explained about the jinxed parchment and how she'd held out hope that it hadn't been you.

Each person made it up to you in anyway they could, admitting their mistakes and regrets and though you would probably never forget, you chose to forgive.

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[imaginestuffs]

You don't need anyone's approval for the stories you write and the art you create. But it's also absolutely valid to want some approval from your audience. Kudos and likes don't determine your creation's worth. But it just feels amazing to receive them.

[imaginestuffs]

I would die for Glen Powell.

[imaginestuffs]

the fanfiction in my head is soooo good wish you guys could see this

[imaginestuffs]

phases- Tyler Owens x F!Reader

Word count:3,721

Warnings: language, angst, fluff

Summary: Reader thinks over moments in her relationship with Tyler. All the good, and of course the bad.

A/N: I don't usually put an author's note, but I thought I should this time. This isn't my best writing honestly. I wrote this on my phone on a long drive. It all just kind of spilled out of my brain, and I liked it, but it's kind of all over the place. So, if you're willing to ignore some flaws, and bear with me I thank you!

(gif not mine)

You never knew what it meant to love and be loved; by the one person you had waited for your whole life. 

The moment you met Tyler your life changed, your perspective was altered, so much so that you couldn't remember what it was before him. 

Every shade of sky, every mood, you had experienced with him—frustration, fury, embarrassment, love, admiration, and best of all acceptance. 

Through him, came your found family. The group of people you had the pride and honor of knowing and loving. Just being with them gave you a sense of freedom, respect for the unknown, and an acceptance of what's to come. No matter the difficulty you'd have them to pull you through. 

Before you met Tyler, you feared the storms, it didn't matter how many you weathered. The chance they could take everything from you in seconds was terrifying to you. 

He held you through the night. being your shelter for as many storms that made you tremble, and grip him tighter than you ever had. 

---

Your fear of storms originated when you were a little girl. You could remember the sirens going off and having to hide in your basement. You weren't able to get outside in time to get to the shelter. So your father rushed you into the basement. it was completely dark as your father guided you to the pipes he knew were in the corner of the pitch-black room. 

He instructed you to wrap your arms around them, and no matter what happened not to let go. 

You weren’t sure how long you were down there. But every slam against the house rang in your ears. Each creak of the foundation caused a jolt of fear to course through you. 

You could hear the raging wind decimating everything in its path. You knew that so much that you loved would be swept away. The town you grew up in would be devastated, it would never be the same. 

When everything went completely still, no wind could be heard, and all things seemed to have stood still, your father gently pried your hands from the piping. 

Your hands shook from how hard your grip was. Even now, they still shake during storms.

You hadn’t told Tyler about what happened when you were a little girl. Thinking that if a storm came you would cover up your fear. He had told you that he was a storm chaser but you hadn’t gone on any chases with him. So he was never around for storms. 

But it seemed that wouldn’t be the case for this one. You saw the dark clouds looming in the distance and the air smelt of rain. You just knew there was no avoiding this. You’d just have to do your best to hide your fear. 

Tyler walked into the kitchen and saw you looking out the window. He padded across the floor to wrap his arms around your waist. 

You felt his arms twist around you and jumped. You heard Tyler chuckle and felt him press a kiss on your cheek. 

“I didn’t mean to scare you,” you heard the smile in his voice. You forced a soft giggle and placed your hand over his. 

He could tell that something wasn’t right, there was no quip or witty response to him. You were tense, and he felt your hands shaking. 

“Baby, what’s wrong?” Tyler's breath warmed your cheek as he spoke to you. 

Your heart began to race, “Nothing. I’m-uh-I’m just fine. Are you excited for the storm?” you turn in his arms to face him. 

You reached your hands up to play with his hair and you felt the slightest bit of relief as he looked at you so softly. Yet you couldn’t stop the tremble in your hands. His hand moved a strand of hair from your face as he studied your behavior. 

“You can tell me anything, you know that right?” his hand rested against your face and you leaned into his touch. You nodded at him, “I know Ty,” you assured him with a kiss on his palm. 

The first clap of thunder sounded and you yelped, your hands covered your face and you slightly shook. The sky sounded off again and instead of sliding to the floor, Tyler pulled you close. 

“C’mon (y/n), let's get to bed now huh?” his voice was calm. 

“You’re not mad at me?” Tyler could hear the nerves in the way you spoke. 

He took your chin between his pointer finger and thumb gently having you look at him. “I’m not mad at you, I could never be mad at you,” he nudged your nose with his. You smiled weakly, and he guided you up the stairs and to your bedroom. 

His shirt lay discarded on the floor along with your sweats. He knew you hated wearing too much to bed. You had always said it made you feel too closed in. So there you were lying next to him in one of his shirts and your favorite polka-dot underwear. 

He allowed you to wrap yourself around him and promised that he would show you there was nothing to be scared of when he was there.

The thunder rolled and lightning struck. Rain pelted the roof and windows. The wind blew and whistled through the old oak outside your window. 

Each boom caused you to shake. Every gust of wind and blinding flash, had your heart pounding against your ribs. 

But there he was, secure, steady, and warm. Whispering assurances in the dark. Holding you close, unwavering. 

Your face buried in the crook of his neck, and his hand warm and rough against your back. 

His lips soft against your hairline, "I've got you, sweetheart. Nothing's gonna hurt you." He breathed out. 

A particularly strong gust of wind rattled the window. You let out a cry and wrapped yourself around Tyler. 

He felt warm tears drip on his skin. He lightly tugged you away so he could see your face.

"Please don't, please don't let go," your voice broke. His heart ached at your plea. 

"I'm not going anywhere. Look at me," he said. Softly brushing a piece of hair from your face. 

You didn't budge. "(Y/n), baby, look at me. You've got nothing to be afraid of," he said and pressed a kiss to your forehead. 

He gently did his best to coax you out of your hiding spot. 

"C'mon sweet girl, I've got you," he reminded you. Slowly but surely you shifted so you could look at him. 

He saw the tear stains on your cheeks and the fear in your (e/c) eyes. His gaze softened, and he leaned forward to kiss your red nose. 

"I'm sorry Ty," he heard your uneven breathing. 

He placed his hand on your cheek and rested his forehead against yours. His lips were just a whisper away. He placed a messy kiss on your mouth. Your breath hitched at the soft gesture. 

"You have no reason to be sorry," he mumbled before he pulled you back in for a real kiss. 

Albeit short, it was enough.

---

Now after 2 years of being with him, your fears lessened. Still, there were times you got scared, but with his hand in yours you never felt safer. Even when you weren't in the truck with Tyler. Dexter and Dani would have an arm around your shoulder. They knew watching the live streams made you nervous. 

You’d always cheer and celebrate but once the sky cleared you let out the breath you were holding.

---

You stood next to Dani who had their arm secure around your shoulders. 

You saw Tyler, Boone, and Lily getting closer to the oncoming storm. The sight was still as unbelievable as it was when you first saw it. 

Looming dangerously close to the people you loved. Even so, the smiles on their faces, and how they shouted in excitement spoke volumes. Eyes wide with a sense of wonderment. 

The all too familiar fearlessness etched on your boyfriend's face. It brought a smile to your face. 

As they anchored the truck into the ground, your heart raced. You shouted along with Dani and Dexter. You heard the fans around you cheer too as they shot fireworks up into the funnel. 

You watched as the sun came back into view, and they jumped out of the truck. You let out a sigh of relief. 

"Woo! Did you see that?!" Boone shouted and you laughed. Dani laughed out loud and picked you up in excitement. You held on tight to them and laughed as well. 

"She was gorgeous!" Tyler shouted. "Just like you babe!" He pointed at the camera and you knew he was talking to you. 

You blushed and smiled. 

As soon as the group reunited, you leaped from the RV. 

"Tyler!" You shouted as he stepped out of the truck. 

He quickly turned toward you with a huge smile. "Hey, baby!" He held his arms open and let you run into them. 

What he didn't expect was you to jump into his arms. He caught you and laughed, your face was buried in his shoulder and he placed a kiss on your neck. 

You wrapped your legs around his waist, he held you up underneath your thighs. You looked at him with a big smile, that mirrored his. 

He set you on the tailgate, before bending down and pressing his lips to yours. One hand traveled to your hip, the other hitched your thigh higher over his hip. Your slender fingers ran through his hair, gently tugging at the strands. Your thumb affectionately stroked his cheek.

A low whistle sounded behind you and you smiled against Tyler's lips. 

"We know it was a good chase but damn, didn't think you would be that excited." Dani teased. 

You giggled and hid your face in his chest. He looked down at you in adoration. He let you go and helped you hop down from the bed of his truck. 

The group looked at the two of you knowingly. Boone winked at Tyler who rolled his eyes. 

"Use protection!" Lily shouted as you pulled Tyler up the staircase, and to your room for the night. 

---

Sometimes things got rough. For a brief moment in time, you felt forgotten. Forgotten by the one person you never thought would forget you. 

You thought it was over.

---

Tyler woke you up one morning. He was already dressed and ready to head out the door. 

"Where are you going T?" You asked in confusion. Trying to rub the sleep from your eyes. 

Tyler looked over at you with a sad smile. 

"What's wrong?" Your voice had grown concerned. 

"I'm going to check on Kate. She left in a hurry, and I'm worried about her." He said and fiddled with the arcade ring on his finger. 

Your brows furrowed together, "what?" Your voice was softer than usual. 

He shut his eyes and ran a hand over his face. 

"She went through hell last night. Dexter remembered her name from the paper a few years ago. I'm going to see if she's ok," he sighed.

"Alone?" Wondered aloud. He shifted his weight. "Were you even going to tell me? Or were you just gonna leave?" Your voice shook.

"I was gonna leave a note..." he trailed off and cringed at how shitty that sounded. 

"Fine, go." You said and pointed at the door. 

You did your best to hold back your tears, of both frustration and hurt. 

He tried to take a step toward the bed but you pushed yourself further back. 

"Baby, please understand, she needs someone right now," 

You huffed and shook your head. "Right, then leave. It's not like anyone here needs you," you mumbled. 

He watched as you stepped past him and walked into the bathroom. The door wasn't slammed shut but closed softly in a way only you did when you were hurt. 

Tyler stepped up to the door and placed his hand against it. "I love you (Y/n)," he said. 

With no response from you, he walked out the door. 

Having heard the door shut you let a few tears fall. You didn't want the team to see how upset you were so you pulled it together. 

You slipped into your jeans and a tank top before heading out the door. 

The door shut behind you, and before walking down the stairs to greet everyone you plastered on a smile. 

"You guys ready to chase some storms?!" You called down the stairs. The group turned to face you and they all whooped as you jumped the last few steps. 

You ran over to them and asked if there were any possible storms. 

As soon as you asked Dexter shouted. "I've got one! This cell to the east is looking strong, we gotta go!" 

You all piled in the RV as best as you could. It was nowhere near comfortable but it would have to do. 

Staring at the sky turning gray, and the horizon being blurred by the tornado picking up speed. The thought of Tyler running off to comfort a girl he barely knew, was eating away at you. 

Despite not being able to drive straight into it Liliy's drone picked up all you needed to see.

You wanted to jump out of the RV, let the wind whip your hair and the rain lash your face. You wanted to scream until you couldn't anymore, but if you did your friends would surely know that there's something wrong. 

You stayed silent as the tornado dissipated. 

It had been 2 days since you had seen or heard from Tyler. You had put on the performance of a lifetime. Each time Boone or Lily asked about Tyler, you just told them that everything was fine. You acted as if it was no big deal, and continued to smile.

"Tyler! Man, where have you been?" Boone cried down the phone. Your head turned to see him on the phone. 

"Wait, wait. Kate did what?" Boone questioned in confusion. He went silent as Tyler spoke to him. 

"Where do you want to meet?" Boone listened to his friend's instructions. 

He called everyone over and explained what was going on before rallying you all into the RV. 

Everyone chatted about Kate's plan, and you chose to stay silent. You didn't have much to say. All you thought about was Tyler, staying with her for 2 days. Her riding shotgun while they chased a tornado. 

They hugged and celebrated the rush of adrenaline after the storm passed. 

Before you knew it you arrived at the place he told you to meet him. 

Everyone exited the vehicle and went to greet Tyler. You stepped out of the RV and made your way over to the group. 

Tyler saw you hanging back and smiled softly trying to break the tension. 

"Hey Sweetheart," he said and opened his arms hoping you'd run to hug him. He knew he had messed up the second he reached Kate's house. 

He didn't know why it took him so long to realize the actual damage he had done to you. But he couldn't have turned back then. It was too late, you were already hurt. 

You sent him a curt nod before Kate came walking toward you. 

"Finally ditched the losers huh Kate?" Boone grinned at her and she smiled. 

The rest of the team greeted her with smiles and open arms. She looked over at you and tried to send a smile your way. 

You weren't a terrible person so you, just like you did with Tyler, gave her a curt nod. 

You listened as she and Tyler explained their plan to you all. You understood, and couldn't lie that you were impressed. But it didn't hurt any less when he smiled at her excitement.

Seeing her work so easily with everyone made you insecure. It took you a while to settle in when you met everyone but with her, it seemed like they had known each other for years. 

You leaned against the back of the RV as you tried to get a moment for yourself. 

You didn't hear his footsteps until they were right next to you. 

You looked away from him and did your best to not let your emotions get the best of you.

His shoulder bumped yours as he leaned back. His hand brushed yours and your heart jolted. 

"(Y/n), will you look at me?" His voice was soft. 

"Why?" You shrugged still avoiding his gaze. 

"Because I want to talk to you. I need to hear your voice," it came out almost as a plea. 

“If you wanted to hear my voice, you should’ve called. You should have stayed,” you refused to look at him.

“I know, I messed up. I was an asshole and I-I” he didn’t know what to say.

The sound of his voice made your stomach turn. "Please," he tried one last time.

You reluctantly turned to look at him. The man you loved. 

He could see the dark circles under your eyes and you looked like you hadn't truly rested in days. His heart lurched at the thought of this being his doing. 

"Baby..." his eyes filled with concern as he reached up to place a hand on your cheek. You stopped his hand before it reached your face. 

"Now you care?" Your voice was harsh. He could see the hurt and frustration in your tired eyes. 

"What do you mean, "now"?" He narrowed his eyes at you. 

You rolled your eyes and laughed bitterly. 

"You were going to leave me in our motel room, with a note telling me that you went to be with a girl you hardly knew because she needed you. You didn’t call, you didn’t text. You went radio silent for 2 days." You barked. 

You threw your hands up, and he began to speak up. 

"I didn't mean to hurt you. I admit what I did was stupid, but look where we are now. We can help, we can make a difference!" He raised his voice. 

"I guess you found your match huh? Someone as smart as you. Not some girl who doesn't always understand what you're talking about. You found someone to make a difference with. You don't need a stand-in for the right person anymore." You didn't mean for your voice to waver at the end, but you couldn't help it. 

His eyes widened, and you could see what you said hurt him. 

"That's really what you think? You think you're a stand-in, you're just temporary?" His heart broke.

Tears threatened to fall, as you looked at him. 

"That's exactly what I think. You've acted differently ever since you met Kate, and now I realize that you found the one you really want." You stated.

He threw his hands up and ran them through his hair in frustration. 

"You're crazy, you're actually crazy." He looked at you in shock. Shocked that you believed he thought of you as a placeholder while he waited for “someone better”. 

His words broke the dam of tears you'd held in since the moment he left. 

He saw tears pour down your cheeks and grabbed you to pull you close. His arms were wound around you tightly and no matter how much you tried to push him away. No matter how much you struggled he held you.

"Let me go, Tyler!" You cried but he didn't let go. "I'm not letting you go." He stated.

"I love you." He said and looked down at you. Your face was wet with tears, and he could see how much he hurt you. But with his words you let yourself fall against his chest. Your tears soaked his shirt, and you clung to him. You didn’t know how much you needed to hear that until now. After feeling second best since Kate showed up, all you needed to hear was that he loved you. Just you.

He pressed his lips to your head. "God, I love you so much, Sweetheart. I'm so sorry. I love you," he whispered in your ear. He felt your frame shake in his hold, and he didn't know if it was possible to hold you any closer. 

You pulled back and looked up at him to see tears in his eyes. 

"You're so fucking stupid Tyler Owens. I should hate you, but I just can't," you said and pulled him down to kiss you. His hands immediately found your waist. 

He kissed you as if his life depended on it. Like you were the only thing he needed to live.

Your hands touched him anywhere they could. Wanting to memorize every part of him. 

He gripped your hips, ran his hands under your shirt, and traced every inch of your skin. Grabbing at the flesh of your waist. Doing anything he could to commit your body to his memory. His lips wandered to your cheek and left a trail along the column of your throat. He savored every sound, every sigh, every whisper of his name. 

The slam of a car door snapped you back to reality. He pulled away from you, with a soft smirk on his lips. You knew you must have been a sight. 

"Help me?" You asked him. He knew what you meant, and immediately ran his hands through your hair, as you wiped your cheeks.

He fixed the collar of your shirt and smiled before leaning down once more to kiss your plush lips.

"You still have a lot of making up to do," you pointed at him. 

"I'll do anything for you," sincerity dripped from his words. 

"Alright, love birds. We get you made up but we have to go!" Boone yelled. 

You chuckled as you ran towards the truck. Tyler helped you in, kissed your hand, and rounded the truck to get in the driver's seat.

---

Things after that day had changed drastically. Tyler had done everything he could to gain your trust back. 

He took a week off from chasing to stay home with you.

The time was spent tangled in sheets. It was spent in sundresses having a picnic in the field by your house. It was spent falling in love all over again.

---

-Hope you liked it alright! thanks for reading if you made it this far! <3

[imaginestuffs]

Fresh Out the Slammer- Tyler Owens x f!Reader

Word count:3,858

Warnings: Reader's ex is an asshole, language, fluff, angst? my first time writing for Tyler, might be a bit ooc, sorry.

Summary: The reader gets out of a six-year-long prison sentence (relationship). Tyler is there to pick up the pieces and remind her that life is meant to be lived, not just survived. based on the song "Fresh Out the Slammer" by Taylor Swift

(gif not mine!)

Standing in the middle of a rest stop with your team and a few other groups, your boyfriend decided to go off on you. 

Just hours earlier he had made a mistake while chasing a tornado. He told you that he wouldn't get too close, he wouldn’t let anything happen. But, that wasn’t the case at all. He decided to take a chance and get as close as he possibly could, and contrary to his beliefs, he did get too close. 

You yelled at him to turn around, just as everyone had over the radio. Yet, he persisted despite your begging to go back. Everyone else in the group had turned around but he just couldn’t face the fact that he was wrong. As the storm got closer you began to cry, muttering prayers and pleas to anyone or anything that would hear you. 

He began to yell at you to shut up and stop being a bitch. This only made you cry harder, and just as you dreaded a strong gust of wind followed by quite a large piece of debris hit the side of your truck. It hit the truck hard enough to tip it but not enough to make it roll. And for that, you believed your pleas had been heard. 

Now here you were after getting checked out by paramedics, luckily nothing severe had happened. Just a gash across your forehead that needed stitches and a few other cuts and bruises. Your friends were terrified when they found you both and confused as to why your boyfriend would do that. 

That brought you to the moment you knew it was over. 

“You know, if you weren’t such a mess, none of this would’ve happened.” he sneered. 

“I’m sorry, what?” you snapped back. He looked at you and rolled his eyes. 

“You heard what I said. You’re a damn mess. You sitting there in the passenger seat crying, pleading with God not to let us die. Like I didn’t know what I was doing.” He took a large step towards you and your breath hitched. 

“You weren’t listening to any of us, we could have been seriously hurt. We could have died Nathan!” your eyes were wide, and your heart was pounding. 

“There you go again, being as dramatic as you can. You’d do anything for attention and sympathy. It makes me sick, honestly. Get over yourself, no one cares (y/n)! I sure as hell don’t.” he said. Your heart dropped, and your eyes began to tear up. 

“Go ahead and cry just like always. I’m done with you and all your problems. It was your fault for the accident. If you weren't being a baby I would’ve been paying attention. Get out of here, we’re leaving. Go home and pack your shit.” his voice was as cold as his eyes were. 

He stormed away to where the rest of your group stood. They all looked at him in fear, not knowing how cruel he was. 

“What the hell are you looking at? Let’s get out of here before she comes begging for forgiveness,” he said in disgust. 

All you could do was stand there, watching all of the people you thought loved you turn their backs on you. Leave you there like you never mattered to them at all. 

They drove off and you felt your heart shatter. You didn’t know he hated you that much, and it made you feel sick. 

Feeling your stomach churn you quickly ran to the side of the building and threw up. As you were hunched over you felt hands grab your hair and someone rubbing your back soothingly. 

Once you had stopped you began to sob, you were completely overwhelmed and in quite a state. You didn’t know who had pulled you into a hug but you held on so tightly you could’ve bruised them. 

“Hey, hey. Shh, it’s ok I’ve got you.” the person's voice was something you held onto in your mind. “You’re gonna be ok, I promise,” the man spoke softly letting his hand smooth your hair down. 

You weren't sure how long you stayed that way but when you eventually calmed down your grip became lax. You rubbed at your eyes trying to get the world into focus again. 

Feeling someone’s eyes on you, you were reminded of the person next to you. 

Glancing up you saw a man you’d never expected to see. Tyler Owens. 

At that moment you didn’t care who he was, you just knew that you were grateful for him. 

You had come across him and his team a few times, and despite him being a little annoying he was always kind to you. 

His eyes held a softness you had never seen, and his smile was sympathetic. 

You realized then how ridiculous you must look. Dirty clothes mascara trails on your face and puffy eyes. You suddenly became embarrassed. 

“I-I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen, I’m not doing this for attention. I just felt overwhelmed, and the crash and everything caught up to me all at once. Honestly, I didn’t mean for anyone to see me like this. I’m so sorry Tyler, You didn’t have to help me-” He cut off your rambling. 

“(y/n), listen to me,” he said and ducked down to try and meet your eyes. You turned your head away, so as gently as he could with a firm grip, he turned your face towards him. 

You looked at him and saw no judgment or anger. The only thing you saw was kindness, and with his hand on your cheek, you felt how steady he was. 

“You have no reason to be sorry. What you just went through is not easy to process. I know you’re not doing this for attention. You’re hurt, and you're exhausted, and I can assume you're still shaken up from the car flipping.” He said with a calmness you never thought of when it came to Tyler. 

You slowly nodded your head, trying to calm yourself. “It’s not your fault, none of it is your fault.” 

--

It had been a few months since everything happened, and you were beginning to see all of the things you ignored. With the fog lifted you could see that the way Nathan treated you was beyond terrible. Everything that didn’t go his way was your fault. The way he only said he loved you when you were in front of your families. All the times he chewed you out in front of the team, and then would persuade you to forgive him and believe that it was once again your fault. 

Tyler and his team ended up taking you home. He went with you to get your things from Nathan’s apartment. He made things bearable, he made you feel like you were important and that was so new to you. 

You became quite good friends with his group as well. They had all checked in on you as much as they could. They’d stop by and spend the night, just keeping you company. They wanted you to feel like you had people who cared for you. Honestly, they all fell in love with you. 

Currently, you were sitting at home curled up on the couch with your latest book. A cup of tea sat on the side table, and rain lightly drizzled on the roof. 

Hearing cars pull up outside your brows furrowed, and you bookmarked your page before getting up. With the blanket wrapped around your shoulders, you made your way to the window. There in your driveway was Tyler’s red truck, and the RV. You saw everyone pile out of the cars and you quickly walked to your front door and yanked it open. 

“Guys!” you shouted and dropped your blanket in favor of running down your porch towards your friends. Boone being the closest you crashed into him, your arms around him in a big hug. 

“Hey, (y/n)!” he exclaimed as he held you tightly. He swayed you a bit and you chuckled before pulling away. 

You went around and greeted all your friends. 

“Where’s my hug?” You heard Tyler’s voice sound from behind you. You turned to look at him with a big smile. 

You opened your arms, “Right here if you want it,” you teased. He chuckled slightly before walking towards you and swiftly wrapping you up in his arms. You let out a laugh when he picked you up off the wet grass. It was only then that you remembered that it was raining. You felt the water land on your warm face and you scrunched your nose. 

Tyler couldn’t help but smile at you, admiring the joy and contentment he could see on your face. It was a peace he never saw you have before. 

Setting you down you smiled up at him and grabbed his hand in yours before jogging towards the open door. Everyone else had gone inside to escape the rain, or at least that’s the reason they gave you. 

The whole team knew that the real reason they went into the house was to let you and Tyler have a moment. They could tell that something was happening between the two of you. 

You closed the door behind you, and Tyler picked up the blanket you had dropped on the floor. 

Luckily it wasn’t a full-blown storm so none of you were soaked. Just a few sprinkles on your clothes. You offered your friends coffee or tea, or a beer if they wanted one. Surprisingly they all opted for coffee. 

“The fact that you don’t put any cream or sugar into your coffee makes me ill Dexter.” You said jokingly. 

“Well, I want coffee not just a cup of cream and sugar,” he said and shrugged. You laughed as you walked into the kitchen to make the coffee for them. 

As you walked away everyone turned their attention towards Tyler. 

“So, are you gonna go talk to her?” Dani questioned him with a smirk. Tyler raised a brow at them and scoffed. 

“We all know you’re dying to ask her out Ty, just go do it,” Lily urged him.

He shook his head and sighed. “You guys are crazy, she just got her heart broken a few months ago. I doubt she wants to jump into something else so soon,” Tyler told them. 

Boone looked at his best friend with a questioning look. “Tyler, I swear to god if you don’t go in there and ask that woman out, I’ll do it for you,” he threatened. 

Tyler sighed in defeat. “What would I even say?” he asked them all. 

“Just talk to her like normal. Just be Tyler, that’s all she would want,” Dani patted his shoulder. 

“Shit,” Tyler mumbled before standing from his place on the couch. They all quietly cheered him on as he walked away. 

You had music playing as you made everyone’s coffee for them. Swaying around the kitchen you sang quietly under your breath. 

“Now pretty baby, I’m running back home to you. Fresh out the slammer I know who my first call will be to. Fresh out the slammer ah,” When the first verse started did a small spin. 

Tyler stood quietly in the doorway admiring you in your own world. It was as if nothing could touch you right now. In that moment he realized just how much he wanted to be yours. He knew he could treat you better. He would do anything to see you smile, and to see you without a care in the world. 

He let out a small chuckle as you spun. You heard him and turned around in surprise. You let out a breath realizing that it was just him. You smiled and walked over to him to grab his hands. 

You began to dance with him to the song. He twirled you away from him and pulled you back in. You laughed and began to sing the song again. 

“Now pretty baby, I’m runnin’ to the house where you still wait up, and that porch light gleams. To the one who says I’m the girl of his American Dreams.” He smiled down at you and pulled you in close. Your arms around his waist and his arms around your shoulders. You had never felt this safe before, and it was the happiest you had been in years. 

“But it’s gonna be alright, I did my time.” 

The song ended and he slowly pulled away. Your smile was soft and your gaze was warm as you looked up at him. He could feel his heart melt at the sight in front of him. 

He glanced at your lips, then back up to your eyes. He took a tentative step closer, placing a hand on your waist and the other on your cheek. You took a small step forward, and your smile turned shy. You placed one hand on his forearm and the other on his shoulder. 

He slowly leaned in, pausing for just a second, his nose brushing yours. Taking a moment to see if this was what you wanted. He felt your soft breathing against his lips, and he saw that your eyes were closed. 

“Please,” he heard your soft whisper, and without a second thought, he pressed his lips against yours. 

You immediately pushed up on your toes to press yourself closer to him. Tyler couldn’t remember a time he had ever felt this way for someone. His hand drifted from your face into your hair, gently tugging the soft strands. You sighed into the kiss and he took the opportunity to deepen it. The hand on your waist had moved to your back to keep you flush against him. 

The way he kissed you made you feel like you didn’t have to worry about being hurt. You didn’t have to tiptoe around him or be scared that one day he would just decide he didn’t love you. It felt like rain after a drought, sun after a cruel winter, Finally escaping the prison cell you had been in for the last six years. 

It felt like freedom. 

--

“Ty! Roll down the window!” you said in excitement. Tyler looked at you with a huge grin. 

“You better be careful baby,” he said, with that glint in his eyes. 

“Always am,” you winked as you pulled yourself as far out the window as you could. You were practically sitting with your legs in the car and your torso through the window. You held on to the cage with one hand letting yourself feel the rain and wind whipping through your hair. Tyler drove down the road as best as he could while stealing glances at you. 

He heard how you laughed and yelled into the wind. It was moments like those when he realized he had found his person. He found the person he wanted to spend forever with. 

When Tyler saw the clouds becoming more dense he tapped your leg softly as a way of telling you to come back in. You quickly slid yourself back into the seat with a huge smile. 

Your hair was slightly wet and completely wind-swept. 

“God, I love you,” he said and you chuckled. 

“Why do you say that?” you asked slightly out of breath. 

“Because you understand me. I don’t have to explain why I do this, because you love it just as much as I do,” he said and you smiled over at him. 

“If it wasn't for you, I wouldn’t have ever done this again. You brought back the love of chasing, I know with you I have nothing to be afraid of,” You told him and leaned over to kiss the corner of his smile. 

He placed on hand on your thigh and glanced over at you with so much love. 

“Are you guys ready for this?!” Boone’s voice came through the radio loud and clear. A laugh escaped you. 

Picking up the radio, you responded. “We are. Are you?” 

Boone could hear the smirk in your voice. Lily laughed, “See you on the other side!” she crowed. 

Tyler drove further into the storm's path, when he got exactly where you wanted to be, he anchored the truck into the ground. 

Tyler looked over at you with the same grin you had seen countless times now. The one that you’d never get tired of seeing, and you imagine your smile mirrored his. 

The tornado swirled around you, and the rush of adrenaline you always felt came flooding through you. Tyler's hand was still placed on your thigh, a grounding comfort for you. Despite your love for tornadoes and storms, there was always the smallest twinge of fear. But it was something you had grown to appreciate, it made you have so much more respect for Mother Nature. 

It was amazing to see the look on Ty’s face as he watched everything happen around him. There was never a time you had seen him unimpressed by a tornado, a storm, or just rain on a cloudy day. 

It was your favorite thing to witness. His passion and eagerness to understand these things. 

The tornado had passed and you and Tyler immediately looked at each other and burst into laughter. 

You leaped out of the truck and turned to watch the tornado forge its path across the field. 

Tyler came up behind you and scooped you up. He let out a shout of joy, and you laughed breathlessly. He set you down.

“Did you see that baby?!” he yelled. He ran a hand through his hair and you smiled. 

“That was beautiful Ty! I can’t believe that!” you enthused as you danced around the field. Tyler chuckled and grabbed your hand spinning you around. 

He pulls you close to him and you reach up to hold his face in your hands. Your hair was a bit frizzy from the rain earlier and your eyes were bright as you looked at him with so much love. 

“Tyler Owens, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me,” you said and pulled him down to kiss you. 

His hand crept under your shirt, and you shivered at his touch. His hands were rough, but it made you melt. He pulled away when a car horn honked a few feet away. 

You turned to see who it was. Expecting it to be the crew you were surprised to see Nathan and your old team get out of their cars. 

You rolled your eyes and sighed. Nathan stormed over to you but Tyler quickly stood in front of you. 

“Get out of my way,” Nathan said, trying his best to sound intimidating. 

It was true that Nathan was significantly shorter than Tyler, and you had to hold back your laugh. 

“What are you gonna do, Kick me?” Tyler questioned with a raised brow. 

“(y/n), we need to talk right now,” He used that voice that always used to scare you into doing what he wanted. He sounded pathetic now. 

“She doesn't owe you a damn thing Nathan,” Tyler said and took a step closer to him. 

You stepped forward to grab Tyler’s wrist and pull him back. Just as you did this, you heard your friends pull up next to you. 

They all got out of their cars as well and came over to see what was going on. 

When they saw Nathan, they all sighed in annoyance. 

“Why is Shorty here?” Dani asked. 

Nathan sent a glare their way, and Dani flipped him off. 

“Damn it, (y/n), Just let me talk to you!” he shouted angrily. 

Tyler was about to step in when you squeezed his hand. He looked down at you quizzically. 

“I can talk to him, it’s ok T,” you said and tugged him down to kiss his cheek. 

Tyler took a couple of steps back and let you stand in front of Nathan. 

“Nathan, what do you want?” you asked him with your arms crossed. 

“Why the hell are you with them? Why are you with him?” he questioned angrily. 

“I’m way better than him. I knew you were desperate but Tyler Owens, are you serious?” Nathan took a jab, expecting to get a reaction out of you. 

You just gave him a look as if asking if he was done talking. 

“You done?” You questioned with a raised brow. 

He stood there unable to find words, “What the hell is wrong with you?” he ended up spitting out. 

You scoffed. “What’s wrong with me? Nothing. But I can tell you what's wrong with you.” before he got a chance to clap back you spoke up again. 

“You treat everyone else around you like crap because you're bitter. You take out your anger on the people around you because you can’t face the fact that you’re miserable. You took everything out on me, it was always my fault. Every little thing that didn’t go right in your life, you blamed on me.” 

“That’s bullshit!” he interjected angrily. 

“Oh, really? Should I bring up the time you told me I was your biggest mistake, that if you never would have talked to me you wouldn’t be having so many problems. You made me believe that I was always the problem.” You stated with conviction.

“Being with you was a prison sentence, if you hadn’t left that day, I would’ve died handcuffed to the spell I was under, lost in the shade of how you were feeling. You leaving me there was the best thing to happen to me,” you affirmed. 

“By the way, for every time you called me a bitch, He calls me the girl of his American dreams.” 

You flipped him off with the sweetest smile you could muster. 

“Fuck you,” he spat at you and you kept a smile on your face. He turned away from you and began to walk away.

“One more thing Nathan! These people that I’m with now, are worth more than 100 of you,” you said and pointed to the whole group. 

They got in their cars and turned around as fast as they could. You turned to look at your friends and boyfriend. They all looked stunned. 

“What?” you asked with a smile. “That was my favorite thing that has ever happened,” Lily spoke and you chuckled. Dexter walked up to you and wrapped you in a hug, you hugged him back just as everyone else joined in on it. 

You laughed with everyone as you pulled away. “I love you guys, what more is there to say,” you shrugged. 

You felt arms wrap around your waist and you smiled before turning around to face Tyler. He smiled down at you. You reached up and took the hat off of his head and placed it on your own with a sly smile. 

“The girl of my American dreams, huh?” he questioned with a smirk. You tilt your head a bit as you gaze up at him. 

“You know it, cowboy,” 

---

“But it’s gonna be alright, I did my time,”