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will kuroo date a bruh girl or a 🥺 girl

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Hey nerds! I just wanted to let you know that I recently received a request to post some of the work from this blog on my AO3, just in case Tumblr does go up in flames. Personally, I’m not too concerned about this blog getting nuked, but since it’s better to be safe than sorry, you can find all the scenarios and confessions that I’ve ever answered over here! I won’t be uploading headcanons, unfortunately, but I hope that this will be sufficient for anyone else who may have wanted me to cross-post! Love you all!

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Thigh master daichi

THIGH MASTER DAICHI! THIGH MASTER DAICHI!

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What if kuro was a sex god and a dorkie face at the same time? He's a beast in bed but when you start getting kissie huggy with him he almost dies

Lol! Personally, I happen to think he’d be at least a little bit more composed than that, but I like your thinking! Sex dork Kuroo is best Kuroo ♡

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Is this blog on-hiatues

Yes, it’s currently on hiatus indefinitely. I’ll still answer asks and respond to messages as they come in but there won’t be any new content. Sorry!

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I love your sex dork kuroo explanation ❤

Thank you very much, dear! ♡

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High key any of the guys from Haikyuu could crush me between their thighs and I'd thank them

I feel you, bro

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i cant believe i've gone through your entire blog in just one day i'm extra thirsty today. but anyway, you are one of the greatest haikyuu nsfw blogs i have ever come across and it was an almost immediate follow c: and i am perpetually grateful for the 90% kuroo, bc kuroo is my babe and all those nsfw things about kuroo satisfied my thirsty soul.

Thank you so much! I’m so glad to hear you enjoyed my blog, and that I was able to satisfy your thirsty soul, hahahahaha ♡

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To those who are going to volleyball hell: I'll see you there, my friends

SAME

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hey there hun, i hope you've been doing well! i checked out your knb blog and noticed an anon asked about fic recs and since you only gave knb ones there, do you think you could give us your hq ones here? thank you and take care sweetheart ♥

Hi there, darling! I’m truly sorry for how long it took me to respond to your message. This past month or so has left me dead in the midst of the college horror that is finals season, so I’ve been busy beyond belief and haven’t really had the time to get to this ask. However, now that I’m back and school is over for the rest of the summer, I absolutely can write up some of my own personal recommendations for you!

I should probably mention before I get into each review that I haven’t read nearly as many Haikyuu fics as I have KnB fics, and because of that I don’t really have any favorite author recommendations this time around. Nor are any of the below reader-insert and I think only two of them aren’t smut, so, sorry about the lack of variety with that!

Either way, I hope you enjoy what I have to share! You can find the rest of my thoughts below the cut~

Are there even any Haikyuu!! fic rec posts out there that don’t include Conquering the Great King? This is one of those stories that you stay up all night reading and probably soaking through multiple pairs of underwear (or at least, that’s what I did). The story is entertaining and sometimes angsty, the sex is good and very frequent, Kuroo is tactless in all of his interactions with Oikawa (well, everyone, really). Honestly, what more could you want in a fic? Basically, this is a must read, especially if you dig smut.

Who likes our friendly resident Shiratorizawa ace being a socially inept farmer plant aficionado and Oikawa being a bitter, sassy neighbor who continually tries to annoy the former but fails miserably because Ushiwaka-chan is just too oblivious to understand the salt-laced responses to his frequently written letters? Then this fic details just the story for you! It’s cute, funny, and ends on such a beautifully sweet note it’ll leave you utterly heart-warmed. I honestly cannot recommend this one enough, especially if you enjoy seeing Ushijima’s overly polite endeavors in communicating with Oikawa. Definitely one for the bookmarks!

Many of you have probably heard of or read ILTWYCS, but I just have to put it here because it’s only the most adorable thing I’ve ever read in my entire life. The story involves KageHina being dumb, in-love dorks that don’t understand just how gay they are for each other, and it is the fucking cutest thing you will ever lay eyes on. It’s been a while since I’ve read it, but from my memory it’s exceptionally well-written and the characters are all captured beautifully. There’s also the occasional smut scene, if you’re into that, but it’s mostly just fluff, fluff, and more fluff. And it’s perfection.

Absolutely hilarious little IwaOi one shot in which Oikawa harasses poor Iwaizumi about the latter having lost his virginity and then subsequently crossing the ocean of ecstasy after begging Iwaizumi to unfurl Oikawa’s passion flower with his turgid manhood (you’ll understand my grandiloquent descriptions once you’ve read the fic). It’s a wild ride from start to finish, but if you enjoy humor and smut, then you’ll almost certainly love this one!

Handjobs in class? Handjobs in class. Very cute little University AU in which Oikawa is horny and Iwaizumi is at least trying to be a good student. In short, an unstoppable force meets an immovable object (but Oikawa gets his way in the end).

I must have a thing for humorous smut, because this fic also follows the same general pattern. Unfortunately timed boners, masturbating in a random locker room stall, you know, just a normal day at Karasuno for our two stupidest first years. Kind of a short read, but definitely entertaining enough to be worth it!

And last but certainly not least, Against All Odds is honestly probably the best fanfiction I’ve ever read. It’s long and the plot can get kind of slow at times, but I guarantee that you will not regret making it all the way through the story. The premise revolves around the lives of Daichi, Oikawa, Kuroo, and Bokuto and their adventures as parents after the four of them meet at a support group for single fathers. They struggle through a lot of difficulties with their sons, face their pasts in some of the worst ways possible, and form some incredible friendships as they begin to open up to one other. The story is beautiful and brilliantly implemented, but it’s very angsty and touches on some heavy topics at times. Still, this fic is amazing and I would highly recommend it to anyway who’s willing to take the time to read it.

That’s all I have for now! I hope this was to your satisfaction and that at least a few of you were able to find some fics that you enjoyed from this list. Thank you for your time~

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@qorrlaslsejrrP   ※ Posted with permission from the artist.     Please do not remove the source or repost without permission.

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mmh yeah Akaashi in cheerleaders clothes

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Hi I'm just here to share an unpopular opinion - kuroo tetsurou is the opposite of a sex god. He is the dorkiest dork to ever dork. If you sat in his lap his brain would short circuit. Help him

I meant to respond to this sooner but I kind of forgot it was in my ask box. My apologies!

Before I really get into why I disagree with you, though, I just wanted thank you for being so civil about this message. I’ve gotten into many a vicious fight on my personal blog regarding the whole sex-god-Kuroo controversy and so I’m very prone to impatience when confronted about it in a hostile manner. However, since that’s not the case here, I’m happy to answer as cordially as I can!

Now, I’ll be the first to admit that Kuroo is a royal dorknugget. He’s a snarky little shit and a filthy gossip (thank you, Daishou, for introducing us to this side of him) who fucks around a lot with his dumb owl friend and torments his dumb crow friends and takes care of his dumb cat friend. He thinks “panini” is a Russian word. He thinks “panini” is a Russian word. I mean, anyone who says Kuroo isn’t a dork clearly doesn’t have a very good grasp on his character.

However, he’s also canonically referred to as a provocation expert. Teasing and taunting people to rile them up seems like a trait that would transfer over into the bedroom very nicely. He also canonically smirks a lot, a habit which would likewise be quite fitting when it’s bang-bang time. On top of that, he’s smoking hot, so, I mean, that’s pretty self-explanatory. Sex appeal, yo.

My point here is that the characterization of Kuroo as a sex god isn’t without canonical basis. Of course, anyone’s free to interpret his personality in however way they wish, but I’ve often heard the “canon Kuroo vs. fanon Kuroo” argument used as a basis to completely reject the notion that Kuroo can’t be a sex god because he also happens to be, canonically, a dork.

And that brings forth the root of this issue, which involves the assumption that being a sex god and being a dork are two mutually exclusive attributes. Spoiler alert: they’re not. Trust me, I’m a math major.

Really, let’s think about this for a second. Is there any reason why Kuroo, someone who likes to dick around with his buds and act like an idiot just for fun, can’t also be seductive and good at The Frickle Frackle™ when he wants to be? Personally, I don’t see why not. And again, anyone’s free to characterize Kuroo as they see fit, so if you just don’t think of him as a sex god, that’s perfectly okay! But please leave those of us who do to our own interests. (Not trying to point fingers at you, anon! You’re totally fine in that regard, I’m just talking in a general sense, seeing as I’ve had to deal with multiple people going out of their way to attack me for my views on this whole issue.)

So, yes, Kuroo is a dork. There’s no doubt about it. But he shouldn’t be restricted to only that label as a means by which to describe him, and, seeing as it’s not blatantly out of character, if the fandom wants to call him a sex god, well, he might as well be a sex god!

I could go on, but I’d be rambling even more than I already have, so I’ll just leave it at that. 

All hail sex dork Kuroo.

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thigh master daichi. Thigh Master Daichi. THIGH MASTER DAICHI. Spread the word if ya know what I mean winkwink ;)

sign me the FUCK up 👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀 good shit go౦ԁ sHit👌 thats ✔ some good👌👌shit right👌👌th 👌 ere👌👌👌 right✔there ✔✔if i do ƽaү so my selｆ 💯 i say so💯 thats what im talking about right thereright there(chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ💯 👌👌 👌НO0ОଠＯOOＯOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌👌 👌💯 👌 👀 👀 👀 👌👌Good shit

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I know I said that I would have this done a long time ago, but clearly I’m bad at keeping my word because I only just finished today. Well, better late than never, right?

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It was all a blur to you, a simple flash of motion that lit up behind your eyes and brought warmth to your cheeks in the form of a light blush. You found yourself ridden with a lingering sense of comfort that hung over your head like the desire coursing through your blood, but there was something about your existence that felt entirely surreal, as though you were in a fantasy. You were somehow cognizant of your own situation, but you found yourself unable to comprehend the circumstances leading up to it.

When did this happen? More importantly, how did this happen? You were sure it had been unplanned, and even more sure that you were enjoying it, but you needed something tangible to quell your mystification. You tried to remember something, anything about the events of that evening, but everything lurking in the depths of your mind was nothing more than a muddle of excitement and laugher and celebration and… sex?

You think you may have had one drink too many because your breath felt thick and your eyelids felt heavy, and the haze clouding your memory only served to exacerbate the confusion that was slowly engulfing your body and smoldering under your skin. You could only take a guess as to what you had done to end up in such a lascivious state of affairs, but if there was something you did know, it was that room reeked of debauchery and the slow burn of arousal between your legs was starting to ache, even despite the fact that the boy between your legs seemed to really know what he was doing.

“Kuuuuroooooooo…” A voice sounded out in complaint by your side and you quickly felt your attention snap towards a bright pair of golden eyes, gaze locking around a shimmering gleam of metallic orbs that seared in hues of impatience against your flesh and sent hunger boiling through your blood. “Hurry uuuuuuuupppp…… I want a turn too, you know!”

You felt pleasantly replete, though that was to be expected seeing as your legs were spread wide in invitation and your body was heaving through a series of slick thrusts that left your clit throbbing almost painfully with need. Even so, it took you a moment to fully understand what, or rather who, exactly, was inside you.

“Damn it Bokuto, be quiet already,” another voice growled, and you found yourself slowly beginning to come to your senses when you felt the soft tickle of sable locks graze your cheeks, along with a sharp pulse of pleasure that struck deep in your core and sent a wash of fluid desire seeping out around the stretch of your entrance.

You shivered through a low moan and let your head hang back between your shoulder blades, eyes fluttering shut around a soft sensation of bliss that only grew more clear to you as the press of skin against hot skin began to feel like a reality in your mind. Arousal was quickly starting to form around a tight coil in the pit of your stomach, leaving behind a heavy throb of pressure that made your body quiver with excitement.

“You’re never going to make her come if you do it like that!” Bokuto whined, letting out a short huff of aggravation as he continued to fidget impatiently. Kuroo paid the other’s griping no mind and simply continued his meticulous onslaught, drawing his hips back ever so slowly before allowing them to snap forward again, forcefully enough to make you gasp and yet somehow flawless in the angle and precision of his movements.

His breath was like a cloud of heat against your flesh and you could clearly make out the heavy throb of his length as it pulsed under the lining of your inner walls, but his thrusts were smooth and his hips were stable, and even despite the gentle moans and sighs occasionally slipping past the line of his lips, you could tell without a doubt that he was perfectly in control of his own composure.

“Yeah right, like you know what it’s like to make someone else come.” Kuroo retorted, pausing briefly to give a hearty chuckle when he heard Bokuto make a noise of resentment and then of something you found yourself unable to pinpoint. Still, you found your gaze shifting towards him once again the instant you noted the subtle slip of his tone, his voice gradually beginning to fade into the sweet semblance of a moan that looked like want and sounded like need.

It was only then that you noticed the subtle movement of his shoulder under the crisp fall of an unbuttoned shirt, the deliberate shifting and flexing of his forearm as he worked his palm into the gap between his legs and over throbbing bulge tenting in his jeans. He let out a shaky sigh and you felt a whimper catch in your throat as you watched his hand curl around the shape of his stiffening erection, fingers dragging friction up over the clothed surface of his shaft before sliding back down to skid against the underside of his length.

It was truly a pornographic display, but you nonetheless found yourself growing increasingly excited as you continued to observe the way Bokuto palmed himself through the heavy weight of denim, languidly and yet with enough earnest to make it clear that he was just as aroused as you were. He groaned softly as he dragged his fingers over the fabric lining the waistband of his jeans, his touch tracing a path of desire over cerulean seams before halting over the press of metal teeth under a silver zipper.

You let your mouth fall open around a shaky moan and shuddered through the warm slide of stimulation that you had almost forgotten was still searing between your legs, allowing tension to draw your spine into the shape of a delicate arc that nearly collapsed when you felt another thrust rock your body back against a wooden tabletop. You heard Bokuto gasp softly but your eyelids were already beginning to fall shut around a glossy layer of pleasure, too distracted by the sensations swiftly unfurling in your core to take note of the way his fist coiled around the glistening throb of his length.

You braced your palms against the edge of the countertop and rocked your hips forward in time with the steady rise and fall of your chest, meeting each meticulous roll of sensation with a newfound sense of eagerness. Kuroo bowed his head to meet the smooth curve of your neck when he felt your legs wind around the dip of his waist, lips parting around a soft groan as you tilted your hips to pull his body flush against the greedy expanse of your frame.

His tongue traced slick heat over the slope of your collarbone and you absentmindedly wondered when you had managed to become this needy for affection, but the sound of another complaint ringing in your ears quickly stopped your thoughts from wandering any further.

“Kuuuuuuuuroooooooooooo—”

“Oh my—ugh, fine! Here!” Kuroo snarled, sliding free from your entrance with a certain irritation that somehow managed to surpass the dissatisfaction that throbbed through his blood. You whimpered at the loss of contact, but Bokuto was already moving to fill the space between your legs, excitement stretching the corners of his mouth into a wide grin.

“Just make it quick, yeah?” Kuroo drawled, shaking a curtain of raven fringe from his line of sight. “See if you can beat your record and come in less than four seconds this time.”

“It wasn’t four seconds!” Bokuto whined, letting a moan hitch in his throat as he pressed the head of his erection between your wet folds.

“True. It was more like three and a half,” Kuroo grinned, and you found yourself stifling a snort even as Bokuto scoffed in favor of ignoring the other's tactless bantering, but then the blinding pulse of arousal was back and brighter than ever as the boy at your hips pushed forward, gritting his teeth to better angle his weight against the line of your waist. He rocked into you with fluid ease, gasping hot against your skin when he felt your inner walls clench and shift around each salacious slide of his shaft.

“Mmnnh… F-fuck—aah……” Bokuto’s breaths came in rough pants, his hands dragging warmth up the flat of the table as he pressed closer to brace himself against the curve of your thighs. “You feel s-so good…”

You bit back a cry that bordered on augmented relief as passion sunk heavy like cement in the pit of your stomach, leaving you with the vaguest sensation of intimacy that only managed to further fuel your desire for release. Bokuto’s movements were already starting to blur into frantic voracity, and it was almost enough to make the rapid beat of your pulse skip over soft spurts of stimulation despite the fact that his thrusts were as shallow as his need for friction.

“Please…” You mewled, not quite knowing exactly what you were asking for despite the fact that your entrance was dripping with lascivious intent and your clit was throbbing with a semblance of neglect that touched on hypersensitivity. Bokuto shuddered and rammed into you so hard you felt the vibration in your ribcage, but you still found yourself parting your legs impossibly wide to make room each hurried snap of his hips, too desperate for gratification to worry about the soreness that you were sure would brand your core with a raw ache when all was said and done.

Kuroo’s length was buried deep within the curve of his fist, his palm gliding with ease over the glistening pulse of his shaft, but you were too far gone to notice the gentle moans and sighs that floated from his swollen lips. Your throat felt murky with an accumulation of stifled whimpers and the heat between your legs was starting to feel like pained pleasure as Bokuto pounded into you relentlessly, whining and gasping all the while through feverish intensification.

“B-Bokuto… slow d-down……” You whispered, though you thought you may as well not have said anything at all when you realized just how little potency you were able to conjure up behind each stuttered fragment of your weak request. Still, you felt Bokuto ease off momentarily, his hips moving almost erratically through the struggle to find a more controlled pace, but before long he was groaning again, allowing harsh breaths to scrape lust over the flat of his tongue as raw need forced him back into the same pattern of hard, unforgiving thrusts.

“W…Wait—” The stimulation was blindingly hot and electrifyingly sweet, and even despite the sultry burn of gratification that had long since begun to creep into your veins, the sheer deluge of it all was still quickly becoming too much for your body to handle. You pressed your palm to his shoulder in a futile attempt to slow his movements into placidity, but Bokuto simply murmured something that sounded like a desperate apology and then a pleading moan.

“Hey, Bokuto! If you aren’t going to be able to control yourself then hurry up and step aside.” Kuroo had already drawn close and was tugging impatiently at the back of the other boy’s shirt, exertion forcing him to pull away from the sweat-slicked press of your skin.

“Kuroo!” Bokuto whined, fingers already moving frantically to coil around the pulsing heat of his shaft. “Come on! I was so close…”

“That’s not my problem! You were doing a shit job anyway so you might as well start working on finishing yourself off from now on.” Bokuto looked like he wanted to say something in his own defense, but he seemed to have decided against it because his lips were clamped shut in reticence and his eyes had grown four shades darker with the focus he was pouring into each rapid jerk of his fist.

You could feel Kuroo’s shaft throbbing hard against your inner thigh, and you let your eyes fall shut around a flutter of contentment as his lips traced the soft curve of your neck. His tongue was beginning to travel lower and you felt yourself slowly leaning back against the surface of the table, shuddering through a sigh of relief as the hard press of glossed wood worked to cool the fire burning at the base of your spine.

Kuroo mouthed at the shape of your breasts and you reached up to tangle your fingers in the messy fall of his hair, trembling through a wave of ambrosial gratification when you felt the careful graze of his teeth rouse your nipples into stiff peaks. A shaky breath hitched in the back of your throat and you found yourself only vaguely able to register the low hum of a contented moan vibrating against your flesh, too deep down in an ocean of lust to notice when stimulation had managed to draw your back into an arch that quivered under each puff of heat that kissed your skin.

Kuroo rocked his hips forward and you braced yourself for the thick press of his shaft against your inner walls, but instead you felt the head of his length slide up the surface of your dripping folds, sparking bright pricks of hypersensitivity behind your eyes as his tip brushed the tender throb of your clit.

“You’re really soaking me, aren’t you?” Kuroo tugged his spine upright into alignment, letting out a breathy chuckle as another push of his hips left the underside of his erection glistening with the lubricious warmth of your arousal. Your voice sounded foreign to you when you cried out and your limbs felt too heavy to do more than writhe against cold wood, but you could feel a crescendo of pressure rising in your blood with every thrust that grazed your flesh just perfectly enough to leave you on the brink of tears.

Bokuto was stroking himself in a frenzied rush, one hand resting against the surface of the tabletop for support. He was moaning and panting and whining like it was the first time he had ever felt such pleasure, and part of you almost wished that you could be the one to draw those sounds of bliss out from deep within the chiseled form of his chest.

It seemed like barely any time at all before you heard Bokuto choke on a rough gasp and then he was through, spilling his gratification in hot ropes that splattered against the curves of his fingers and dripped in thick ribbons from edges of his knuckles. Your own orgasm was building rapidly, but somehow you still found yourself starting to feel as though you should have come hours ago.

Kuroo stuttered through a series of uneven thrusts and you could almost hear your pulse jump as his face contorted into erotic delight, lips parting around a hard groan that made you shudder when his release finally flooded warmth over your skin. You were close, so very close. You were begging and pleading, panting through ardent yeses as Kuroo’s hips continued to jolt through euphoria. You felt yourself tipping, and then the head of his length grazed over your clit and—

You awoke in a cold sweat, your eyes flying open only to be met with a pale semblance of darkness. Your bedroom was dappled with the barest dustings of moonlight, your sheets strewn haphazardly across the smooth expanse of your body. Your skin glistened with the only waking manifestation of your fantasies, your chest heaving with each labored breath that filled your lungs with the cool crispness of a light breeze.

You shivered through a shaky sigh as your heart slowed to normalcy, awareness allowing your pulse to ricochet into stability. Your legs were slightly parted, but you could still feel the heat emanating from your core like a lazy throb of desire, and it almost made you break a smile through an unexpected urge to laugh.

Well, that sure was something.

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Merry belated Christmas for my husbando, who wanted me to draw sexy Oikawa and I couldn’t decide which version I like more!