im-too-gay-for-this

[im-too-gay-for-this]

Quotes of NCIS 😻

Some poor Nurse: *looking over comatose Gibbs* Good morning, Agent Gibbs the rain as stopped. It’s going to be a beautiful day. :) *gasps*

Ducky: I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you. I’m Dr Mallard. I overheard you talking and I thought he might be awake.

Poor Nurse: I always talk to my patients.

Ducky: Me, too.

Poor Nurse: Are you a neurologist, Doctor?

Ducky: Medical Examiner.

Poor Nurse: Oh.

- 

Ellie: Two hot chicks. They probably figured we’d get fast results.

Delilah: and I’m in a wheelchair, Double points. 

-

Ellie: I guess we all need help sometimes.

Delilah: Maybe. You read that in a fortune cookie?

Ellie: yes.

-

Gibbs: Why are you pushing this, Kate?

Kate: Because it makes sense. He’s catholic.

Gibbs: Hmm… and so are you. You cannot let personal situations colour your judgment.

Kate: I don’t. But you hired me because of my knowledge and my experience. You’ve never seen how a suicide can tear up a Catholic family. They take it very seriously.

-

McGee: Wait a second did he say “Simon Williams”?

Kasie: I think so. I haven’t run the name through the system yet

McGee: You don’t have to. He’s on our wall. *points to NCIS most wanted wall.*

-

Kasie: I have stuff for you.

Ziva: all eardrums

Kasie: huh?

-

DiNozzo: let’s put a pin in that McMilitary and let’s talk about my problem. *pulls out $20,000 from his desk*

McGee: $20,000?

Bishop: and why is that a problem?

DiNozzo: because technically it might be stolen.

McGee: By who?

DiNozzo: By me.

Bishop and McGee: *confuzzled*

Gibbs, runs into the bullpen area: *DiNozzo hides the money* DiNozzo! Oh hey, you’re here. That’s good.

Bishop: Gibbs, what’s the matter?

Gibbs: I just got a phone call a deputy in Virginia just found an NCIS Special Agent dead in car crash.

DiNozzo: My God that’s terrible. Who died?

Gibbs: You did.

[im-too-gay-for-this]

Thor: *gets a pet cat*

Peter.P, who is allergic to cats:

Thor: would you like to pet him ?

Peter,trying to not die: I’m going to drown myself in the lake and I mean it.